The following Fanfiction is entirely Fanfictional and is not in any way inspired by true events.
A/N: Maddie and 'Psycho Meg' are property of Malcom Fox, more characters from other Fanfic universes will show up later.
In 2009, an event happened that was more cataclysmic than even a Godzilla, King Ghidorah, Clover, Gamera and Monkey Magic Christmas special. In the following story, the lives of one family will be changed forever… multiple times, and a battle to end all battles will begin, but what will happen? How does it happen? When will this goddamn monologue end? Find out in-
Universal Screw-Up!
Chapter 1
Quagmire is seen aiming a dart gun at Marilyn Monroe, who is in the audience of a parade as JFK is sitting in his car, from on top of a building.
"One hit of this bullet and you are mine, giggity!"
Quagmire then shoots and loud screams are heard. Quagmire goes from exited to shock almost instantly.
"Uh ohhhhhhhhhh…" Quagmire said, running away.
It seems today,
That all yah see,
Is violence and movies,
And sex on TV,
But where are those good ol' fashion values,
One which we used to rely?
Lucky theres a Family Guyyyyyyyyyy,
Lucky theres a man who,
Positively can do,
All the things that make us,
Laugh and cry!
He's
A
Family
Guyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!
It was a usual day in the Griffin house, Stewie was building some new machine, Lois was making dinner, Brian was reading on the end of the couch and Peter, Chris and Meg were watching the news.
Cutaway to TV
Diane Simmons and Tom Tucker are sitting next to each other at the news desk as usual.
"And authorities have finally caught the wide-headed child responsible for selling Uranium to terrorists; Eric Cartman of South Park, Colorado. I always thought that place was another piss-ant mountain town, Tom." Diane said.
"Not only that, but some of the new episodes are starting to suck as well." said Tom.
"They sure have Tom, now back to our crap-tastic new show, The Pimpsons." Diane says.
End Cutaway
Peter looks over at Brian.
"Hey Brian, did Video really kill the Radiostar?" asked Peter.
"What? Of course not, that's just a song." replied Brian.
"Oh," Peter says, "I only ask because I testified against him in the trial."
Just then, Cleveland bursts through the door looking terrified and panting.
"Cleveland! What the hell happened? You look terrible" Brian asked. Cleveland stopped panting and began to explain.
"I was just closing up the store when I saw Meg attacking someone outside!" Cleveland then sees Meg sitting on the floor and screams.
"AH! GET AWAY FROM ME YOU CONSIDERABLY UGLY PSYCHO!"
"Hehehehehe… Poo." Peter said out of nowhere.
Lois walks in after hearing the screaming.
"What the hell is going on here?!" Lois sees Cleveland, still screaming, and tries to calm him down.
"Cleveland, stop screaming! Whats going on?" Cleveland continues to scream and runs out the door. Brian looks at Meg.
"It couldn't have been Meg, she' been sitting here all day."
"And in other news a local man who screams the word 'phoney' at people was brutally murdered with an axe outside Cleveland's mini-mart." Tom says from the TV.
"Oh my god!" Lois exclaimed.
"It seems the fingerprints found on the body belonged to Meg Griffin of Quahog, Road Island." Diane continues.
"Oh my god Meg! How could you?!" Lois screams in shock.
"But I didn't do anything! Like Brian says I was here all day!" Meg protests.
"Boy, this is more confusing than 'Whatever Happened to Robot-Jones?'."
Flashback
Robot-Jones is talking to an everyday teenager about his show.
"So, your parents sent you to school to learn about humans? Why didn't the factory that made you program the information into you?"
Robot-Jones then shoots the teen, disintegrating him.
End Flashback
Suddenly there is a loud banging noise at the front door and police sirens are heard.
"Meg," Joe's voice says from outside, "We have the place surrounded! Come out with your hands up so we can mercilessly beat you and claim that you tried to escape, ya' know, standard procedure."
"What? But I'm innocent! I haven't ever killed a guy… that I know…" Meg says.
"What are we gonna do?" Lois asks. Peter then appears dressed as Frank-N-Ferter from Rocky Horror.
"No Peter! We are NOT doing the f**king Time Warp again!" Lois shouts, and Peter looks down depressed.
A/N: sorry its short, but I SWEAR I will make longer chaps I promise! R&R