The Empty Funeral of Loki
Funerals can be a time to say all the forgotten words that should have been said sooner. They can be a time to pretend that the passed away can hear your words through deaf ears and accept them. They can be a time for apologies and thank yous that went unsaid. But maybe most importantly, they are a time to say the final goodbyes and to look upon their open casket once more before all that remains of them are still images and fading memories.
And these are the reasons Thor Odinson stood alone by his dead brother.
The fact that Thor stood alone by his brother was frightening him like nothing else could have. As he stood with only the wind as a companion he felt a surge of emotions at the emptiness of where he stood. Shock, anger and sadness being the strongest of these emotions. Was it only he who cared and had the respect to say his final goodbyes? Was he the only person who felt the loss and pain of losing his brother? Was he the only one who would miss Loki? These thoughts ate away at Thor's heart and mind as he realised that his brother had always faced this pain and isolation in silence. And for how long? Loki might have suffered for years without a friend to stand by his side. Loki and only his tortured mind alone.
And this is the thought that undid the mighty Thor.
He stumbled forward and grasped his brothers pale neck softly in his symbol of love. He fell forward onto his knees in to damp grass as his tears left salty trails down his face. He could not contain them, along with the poisonous thoughts that flooded every corner of his mind. The thoughts of his brother in his dying moments, even then, with no one to stand with him or prevent his actions. The images of those lonely years spent alone in his own chambers and the palace library. The way Thor's own imagination was conjuring these pictures was scaring and terrifying. But it was the same imagination that fuelled the thoughts that led him to speak the words he should have long, long ago.
"Brother, I am so sorry I was never there. Never by your side when you needed someone. Never with you in your worst moments. I am so sorry Loki. I am so sorry I ignored you and never thought twice. I am sorry I never took the time you spent alone as unwanted isolation. I am so very sorry that no one ever comforted you and I plead with you for my forgiveness. I would plead for a chance to right my wrongs but I know that will never happen, so I beg and ask or your forgiveness. That is all I want." Thor's voice had trouble forming words as sobbed threatened to rack his body and his throat closed in on itself.
But he still tried to continue and tell his brothers the words he so dearly needed Loki to hear.
"And I am sorry this is to be our last goodbye. I am sorry I did nothing to prevent it. I am sorry you will never hear these words. I am sorry I did not say them so much sooner. I am sorry this will be the last time I will ever see you brother. I have so much more to say but I cannot sit here by you for the rest of my existence as much as I long to. But final I am sorry that you spent most of your life without a friend or the true bother I should have been. Loki, my brother, I want you to know, I love you."
And so those were the last words ever spoken to Loki and the last Thor ever would have the chance to say to him. So, as the last words left his lips he stood, held his brother's hand in a tight grip one last time and turned to walk away. He strode away without a backwards glance over his shoulder with only the still images and fading memories of Loki that wold both haunt and comfort him for the rest of his life.
And that was the funeral of Loki, and had he heard his brothers words he may have even smiled and whispered back, "As I love you Thor, my brother."