Disclaimer:I only own Bart.
Tony looked around the table in his tower, staring in particular at the newcomer. His eyes darted between the two Asgardians before settling on one.
"Thor, explain to me again why your psychotic little brother is here on Earth again? Isn't he supposed to be on Asgard. Actually isn't he supposed to be, I don't know, dead?!"
Thor sighed and shook his head at his little brother who hadn't even bothered to look up from the StarkPad he was playing with. "We had no choice Man of Iron, Loki's presence on Asgard might lead to revolt."
"Why?" Natasha asked shrewdly her eyes still on the God of Mischief who was at the moment far too busy playing Angry Birds and obliterating Bruce's scores, something that would require some deep breathing from the Hulk's other half. "I mean dead or imprisoned wouldn't make much difference to them right?"
"As it turns out Loki wasn't dead, he was impersonating Odin Allfather and ruling Asgard while Odin slept. My father only woke up a few days ago."
"So for all these months Loki's been King in Asgard?" Tony whistled. "Dude, Asgard must be so fucked."
"Well actually…" Thor trailed off looking at his brother once again and Loki cackled.
"Do tell them Thor, I'd love to see how they react to this news."
Thor sighed again. "As it turns out my brother was a good king. A really good king and a surprisingly high amount of Aesir would rather he was back on the throne. At the moment imprisoning him on Asgard is a bad idea because they'll probably break him out and…"
"Let me get this straight, your crazy ass brother who tried to take over the world was so good at ruling people that they want him back."
Thor opened and closed his mouth a couple of times before finally just nodding in affirmative.
"You should hit them on the head." Clint growled out, eyes never leaving Loki's form.
"Cognitive recalibration. It's how we got people under Loki's scepter's influence out of it." Natasha elaborated for Thor's sake and he frowned.
Loki snorted. "It's Asgard, everyone gets hit on the head all the time. I had to deal with fifteen complaints of property damage due to pub brawls on the slow days."
"So we're just supposed to keep him here? We already have a pet."
"Sir, Miss Potts is on her way up with Bart." JARVIS said and Thor and Clint who had been living with the 'Voice in the Ceiling' for months jumped up into the air while Loki who had been there all of fifteen minutes and only heard JARVIS speak once stayed put, utterly composed.
"We could sic Bart on him." Clint said excitedly.
"Is this Bart a nickname for Barton?" Loki drawled and Tony muffled a smile while the archer glared at the god.
"Bart is short for Bartimaeus and-"
"Actually it's short for Bartholomew." Tony interrupted Clint.
"What?! What kind of crap name is Bartholomew?"
"Not as crap as Bartimaeus."
"I thought it stood for Bart Simpson." Natasha added.
"My friends, who is this Bart you speak of?" Thor boomed.
"See while you were gone we rescued a dog and he's kind of become our mascot in the last few weeks." Tony explained.
"So this Bart is a dog?" Loki asked all the while looking at Clint with a smirk.
"He is and you should be scared of him, he's a real mean dog."
At that moment the elevator doors opened and Pepper stepped out followed by a giant dog bouncing on his feet excitedly yipping and creating all sort of a ruckus. He leapt at the ball that Pepper was holding over his head playfully only to fall down with a splat before picking himself up and wagging his tail hard.
"Oh yes," Loki said dryly, "That is a mean, mean dog."
"You just wait, when he dislikes a person he pees in everything they own and uses their slippers as a toilet." Clint said smugly and Tony snorted.
"Well you would know. The only person Bart really dislikes is our dear Hawk here. It's gotten better but the first few days were hell."
He went up to Pepper and kissed her on the cheek pulling her into a hug and over his shoulder she looked at the group, eyes flitting over them one by one before noticing Loki and widening in shock.
"What the hell is he doing here?!" She yelled and Tony flinched. Her mouth had been right next to his ear.
"Well it's a long story."
"I have time!" She continued yelling and he took her aside to explain things.
While he did so, Bart had slunk off to where the group was sitting around the table. He sniffed haughtily at Barton and passed him over to get an ear scratch from Natasha instead and then fixed his eyes on Loki and Thor. He moved forward and circled the two for a while and sniffed them carefully. Thor stood stock still, unaware of how to deal with this Midgardian beast while Loki offered his hand to the dog.
Bart turned his butt towards Thor and jumped up to Loki, licking his face vigorously and wagging his tail so that it hit Thor's calves hard enough to get him to move away.
"I am so terrified." Loki drawled as he petted the affectionate creature, kneeling on the floor so that he could rub his belly and Bart splayed out on the floor in pure satisfaction as Clint's face turned red and he spluttered.
"He likes you." Pepper looked at him aghast.
"A lot of animals do."
"T'is true, I have even seen a wyrm allow Loki to pet it and they are most grotesque beasts." Thor nodded as if he had said something truly awe-inspiring but they had no idea what he was talking about.
"Wyrm?" Clint asked, confused.
"He means dragons and maybe they would let you pet them Thor, if you didn't keep on referring to them as grotesque beasts." Loki explained.
Thor looked confused. "But they are grotesque beasts."
"Bart likes you." Tony said and shrugged. "I suppose that's as warm a welcome to the Avengers' Tower as it gets." He smiled wide and fake. "Welcome to the family!" And everyone there looked distinctly queasy, even Loki turned pale despite Bart's loving administrations.
"Joy."