This is for Tonks! Keep in mind this will not have a happy ending! This was a request from a friend, she wanted a story about why snape and james hate each other. This will be really dirty and adult so don't let anyone catch you reading it!

I own nothing! But I will one day own the world!

Cruel Ideas

There is a saying that hate is just love in disguise. But I don't believe that. How can such an obliviously strong emotion be confused with something as trivial as love? I know who I hate.

James Potter.

Potter is the bane of my existence. His cruel taunts, his staggering arrogance, the way he stole Lily from me…

He tricked her with sweet words and she fell for it without a fight. Lily forgot about me even after he used and left her. I mourn for the girl I loved.

I hate Potter with all my being. But the year I turned 17 everything spiralled out of control.

Two years after he turned Lily into the school slut, James Potter had moved on and on and on again with many different girls. He found himself getting bored with the predictable simpering of every female at Hogwarts. There was no challenge anymore!

"Why don't you try after guys?" Sirius whispered at him, after James complained to his friends.

"Yeah!" Peter squeaked. "You've done anal before anyway, it would be the same thing wouldn't it?"

The three glanced over at Lupin, the only gay in their group, who was studiously ignoring them.

"What do you think Loopy?" James whined.

Lupin gave him a filthy look.

"I am not going to tell you to chase guys just because you are bored. Besides who would you choose?" he growled at them.

The Muarders were sitting in the Gryffindor common room, in what they considered their space by the fire.

"I don't know" James brushed back his unruly hair and glared into the fire. "Someone who will be a challenge. Someone interesting, smart and good in bed!"

Sirius suddenly had an evil thought.

"What about Snape?"

The reaction of the group would forever go down as the most over the top he had ever seen.

Lupin made a squawking sound like that of a chicken being strangled.

Peter screamed like a girl and toppled from his chair in shock.

James went pale as a sheet and looked as if he was going to be sick.

"Should I take that as a no?" Sirius grinned.

"I said smart, interesting and good in bed! Not slimy, disgusting and with no idea what to do with his cock!" James was close to yelling.

Sirius laughed.

"I hear that his is quite adventurous in the sack."

"But why Snape?" James was getting really worked up now.

"Because if you do, I will buy you that broom."

James froze. Was he serious? That broom was expensive.

"What if I don't?"

"Then you have to get it for me."

"You cannot be considering this!" Lupin cut in.

"Yeah! Snape hates you!" Peter said from the floor.

James ignored them. "Any conditions?"

Sirius shook his head.

"You can even use a lust potion if you want."

"No!" Lupin stood up. "I will NOT be part of this!"

He stormed off in a rage.

"He just can't openly be okay with this because with him being head boy and all." Peter whispered, having climbed back into his chair.

"Deal!" James spoke forcefully.

Sirius grinned. "Deal."