It Could Never Be
By: Sari
Summary: One-shot. Lucas reflects on Brooke's goodbye.
Author's Note: Literally, this was written minutes after the season premiere. I adored the premiere, but I wanted to get into what Lucas was feeling during Brooke's speech.
You know, it seems like just when things can't get any worse God throws a curve ball at you and expects you to make it through with your soul and your heart intact. My name is Lucas Scott and during my senior year, I didn't get a curve ball. I got a boulder dropped on my life in the form of the death of the only man that ever loved me like a son and a disease that took away my dreams. When Brooke told me she couldn't handle us, she couldn't handle me it was as if the air had been sucked out of the room and the sound had been amplified. It felt as if time began to go backwards and all I could hear, over and over again, was "we were not enough…you were not enough."
"Lucas." Lucas looked up, almost startled. Brooke's face was wet with tears and her hands were on his. "I'm tired of fighting a losing battle." She whispered. "We're not…we're not meant to be."
Lucas was quiet. What can you say to an argument like that? What can you possibly do or say to make things right? He could quote another dead man caught up in the romance that real love never is, but in the end words are just words. Words can never take the place of action. Action, accomplishes what words fail to do. So he took action.
He got up, and he kissed her hard on the mouth, pouring every bit of feeling that he couldn't get into words. And they held each other tightly as tears coursed down his cheeks and all Lucas could think of was that he was acting. At least he was acting.
Brooke broke the kiss and shook her head. Soft sobs shaking her form. She backed up slowly towards the door, shaking her head.
"I'm sorry." Lucas finally said, looking up just as she was about to close the door.
Brooke nodded. "Me too."
And, sometimes I wish that I was old and wise. I wish that I didn't have to go through the heartache and the pain that life seems to be. I don't want to experience the ups and the downs when all I seem to get are the downs. I don't want to live when others die. I don't want to cry when others are glad. I can't take any more pain, my heart can't take any more pain. I'm waiting for the day when I can turn back time and make things right. I'm waiting for the day when this pain will stop. I'm beginning to believe that I'll always be waiting…waiting for the day when I can live without dreading the worse.
I'm beginning to think that it could never be.