Disclaimer for this entire fanfiction including all later chapters: We do not own Harry Potter or any part of the Harry Potter Franchise.

A character named Tonk.

She is the daughter to Snape, but he didn't know about her, she is also Tonk's second cousin. Tonk, like Snape, didn't know about her; he only knew Snape as his father's lonely old cousin who taught at Hogwarts. He would never have suspected that Snape had a daughter.

One day, Tonk was sitting in his room when an owl tapped on his window. "Hello, owl," he said, opening the window to let the owl in. The owl didn't respond. Instead, it held out a leg, to which a message was attached. "Oh!" exclaimed Tonk, surprised, "I'd forgotten that owls carried post!" He took the message and read it:

Dear Tonk,

You don't know that I exist, but I'm your second cousin – Surprise! In case you were wondering, that means that we have parents who are cousins.

At this point, Tonk stopped. Snape had a kid!? Who would have a kid with him?! Tonk liked to swap around his question marks and exclamation marks. Deciding to leave his surprise (and disgust) for later, Tonk continued reading:

Dear Tonk,

You don't know—

No, further along than that.

…parents who are cousins. My mum took me to Gringotts recently, because they have this cool service where they discover all the family fortunes that you're secretly the heir to. And it turns out that we're joint heirs to the fortune of the Prince family. Also the Merlin family, and Gryffindor, and Slytherin, and also another one that I can't remember right now… Oh, that's right. The Riddle family.

Anyway, the thing is, I can't claim any of this unless you're with me. So I want to meet you in a shady location close to Gringotts… how about Knockturn Alley? No, never mind, that place is dange—"

Tonk didn't need to read another word. To Knockturn Alley he would go!

"Mum," he said as he walked down the stairs, "It turns out that Dad's creepy cousin has a kid who I'm going to go and meet in Knockturn Alley now, okay?"

"Hmm? Oh, that's lovely, sweetheart," said his mother, filling in a crossword puzzle.

Without further ado, Tonk Snape strode out the front door of his house dramatically. Then he remembered that it would probably be faster to travel by Floo powder. So he stormed back into his house meekly and went to the fireplace. Stepping into the fireplace, he called, "OUCH!" because he hadn't thrown the floo powder first, and the flames were quite hot. He then followed the appropriate floo-powder travelling procedure and went to Knockturn Alley.

He left the floo-point in Borgin and Burke's and tried to look confident while he waited for a person he had never seen before and didn't even know the gender or age of.

"Would you like some sloth toenails, dearie?" asked a toothless, wrinkled old hag.

No, he thought to himself. Too old to be Snape's kid. But then again… growing up with Snape as your father would age you prematurely...

"Shall we head to Gringotts?" he asked her.

"Kidnapping! YOU KIDNAPPER!" exclaimed the old woman, and threw her tray of sloth toenails at his face.

Seeing everyone's attention turn to him, Tonk ran.

"Tonk!" exclaimed a voice as he emerged into Diagon Alley.

"Oh, thank God it's you, Gronk," said Tonk, not looking to see who had spoken, but thinking that his imaginary friend Gronk was sounding very feminine today.

"How did you know my name?" demanded the voice, "My dad named me after my second-cousin's imaginary friend! Nobody could know… unlesssssss….." With this string of 's's, she slipped into parseltongue, which only Harry Potter and the heirs to the Riddle family fortune could speak.

When the two children were spotted conversing in parseltongue, they were quickly apprehended by the local law enforcement and thrown in prison on suspicion of being Voldemort's children. Fortunately, they were soon released due to lack of evidence and went to get their fortune. Sadly, all of that part had been a joke that the goblins were playing on witches and wizards who had read too much fanfiction.

The next time Tonk saw his Uncle Severus, he confided in him about the cruel joke that had been played on him and Gronk. As he told the story, he let slip that Gronk was Snape's daughter.

"WHAT?" roared Snape, "I DON'T HAVE A DAUGHTER! YOU WERE LUCKY NOT TO BE KILLED! THAT WAS CLEARLY A DEATH EATER IN DISGUISE!"

Gronk had crept into the room behind Tonk to finally meet her father. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

A/N: The very first sentence of this chapter was taken from "Life of Cristancia" by Cristancia-the-witch. We were inspired by her creation of the character of Tonk.

Also, this was co-written by me and my brother.