Breath Of A Star

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story.. And I don't own the Everclear song either..

Dedicated to RubyRedDragon05, and her sister, SapphireBlueDragon04. Thanks for everything guys!

This is Chapter One of my story, Breath Of A Star. It is a very sad fic about Makoto and her struggle to overcome one of the most common problems of today. Makoto/Heero fic, and please R&R.

A.N. In all the conversations you will see between me, and Angel M., she is my sis, who has a great story going! Her pen name is Angelofthemoon, which is why I call her Angel M. (M. is because of the moon part in her name) I am AFadedAngel, so therefore I am the angel!! ^_^

Angel M.: *Crying* I'm lucky I know what's going to happen, it's so sad!!!

Angel: Shut up, you're going to give away the whole story!

Angel M.: Well see the first thing is that Makoto-

Angel: Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Shut up!!!! *throws chair at Angel M.* Sorry folks, on with the story.. And the key is ~*~*~* are when it phases out to a dream.. ** is a flashback. And there is an Everclear song in here that I thought would fit the story..

(Chapter One..."Depths Of My Soul")

Rated: R...Meaning cussing and vulgar situations

     It was a long time before she started to heal.. Heal from all the bruises left from her abusers. She rung out the washcloth that was soaked with blood from her deep cuts where they had scratched her or threw her up against something.. Her name is Makoto.. But that wasn't important to her right now.. Makoto just had to clean up before her mother saw the wounds. The searing thoughts shot through her like a stiff bullet piercing her alabaster skin. The thoughts of her skin being reaped and raped as if she were a prostitute. Her abusers were her dad, and her boyfriend Vegeta. He had been sweet to her at first, then the desire to reap her flesh became too overbearing for him..And her dad, she couldn't even begin to explain why he would do this to her day after day.

     Makoto threw the cloth away, hiding the source of her pain, and the only real proof she had for now. She ran her fingertips down the walls as she walked to her room, and immediately shut the door. He was waiting for her there in her room.

"I'm sorry I took so long Vegeta-san." Makoto apologized.

"Whatever, but you had better hide those bruises good and never tell anyone of this, or you will be sorry I promise." Vegeta declared.

"Yes Vegeta-san." Makoto said properly.

"Now get over here." Vegeta demanded.

Tears started to form again on Makoto's pale skin. "Yes."

     Makoto walked over to the bed where Vegeta was sitting comfortably. As she sat, she began to feel his black, burning eyes on her body.. The violation of it all was sickening and horrifying. She wanted to scream, to tell him to go away and for him to actually listen..But no, life wasn't that kind.

"Vegeta-san, may I please rest?" Makoto begged.

"No you little whore! I shall do what I want and be done with you! Now shut up!" Vegeta screamed at her.

     Makoto started sobbing more hysterically, and was barely able to breathe as he pulled off her clothes and tore at her delicate body. All Makoto could do was cry and cry as she watched her body being reaped over and over until Vegeta was satisfied. He hurt her, digging into her deeper and deeper until she screamed out in agony.

Vegeta rose up, and slapped her across the face. "Shut up, you stupid little slut!"

     Makoto's tears stained her face as he continued to rape her, and squeeze her skin until the pure, pale skin was red and cut. I'm going to die, she thought. No pain was worse than this, and she had to live with the torture of it since she was three. The first time ran through her head as if she had to live that day over and over until she died. Vegeta was soon done, but it had seemed forever. Makoto rose up from her position, and put on some clothes. The cuts were very easy to hide, and not that deep.

"Listen up my little slave,  you know not to tell anyone, and you know I will be back for more, even though you're no good." Vegeta stated, laughing.

     Vegeta walked out of the room, and Makoto's head fell in her hands. Her face, was now buried in the tears, and her body, violated and tainted.

"Oh my god!" Makoto shouted.

     Just then, Makoto started to cough violently. She felt short of breath, and blood starting trickling down her mouth. She leaned her head back, and passed out on her bed.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

     There she was, a child of three. Running around the Christmas tree, and singing holiday songs. Her mother was videotaping the whole thing, planning to show the neighbors. And then, her dad stepped in the room, shadowed by the darkness..It was as if the moon had disappeared behind the black, obsidian sky.

"Makoto, I want you to stay here after bedtime, because we need to talk." Makoto's father said in a stern voice.

"Yes daddy." Makoto replied, intimidated by her father's rigid tone.

     Makoto's mother was soon off to bed, and they were left alone. Makoto's dad sat on the couch, glaring at her with flaming blue eyes.

Her dad gestured for her to come to him. "Makoto, there are some things in this world that cannot be stopped. Like desire, or, restlessness. But above all things I think that the need to try something new is the best. Now do as I say and we shall get along fine."

"Yes daddy." Makoto whispered.

     Her dad began to tear away her nightgown and glared at her small body. A little disappointed, but he ran his fingers down her body, and she whimpered as he entered her small body. He pushed her up against the tree, and began to thrust himself deeper within her.

"Daddy it hurts! It hurts!" Makoto wailed.

"Shut up! Shut up and take the pain you little bitch!" Her dad shouted.

     Makoto could feel her body stretch and burn as her back brushed up against the tree and sliced through her soft skin. Her dad started to moan and breathe harder as his body climaxed, but her's just cried from the pain...

"Aaahhhhhhhhhhhh!" Makoto yelled.

(End of Dream)

     Makoto awoke sweating in her bed, with her father's eyes glaring at her. She finished buttoning her blouse, and stood up to face him.

"Yes dad?" Makoto wondered.

"Are you going to school today? I think you should stay here." Her father implied.

Makoto knew what he wanted. "No I don't want to fail dad..I'll be home soon."

"...Alright." Her father gave in.

     With a sigh of defeat, he left the room. Makoto wiped the blood from her mouth, and got up to leave. The painful reminder of her violation was left on her cheek. She knew she couldn't really make up a good excuse for it, but she could try. Makoto had often thought of suicide, so she wouldn't have to go through the torture ever again. But something kept her from doing it. A vision...Of someone with cold, persian blue eyes that stared onto her. But, they weren't staring at her like her father and Vegeta do, they were softer, and much more full of good intentions. But Makoto threw the thought away, and gathered her school books, and headed out.

     School was her sanctuary.. She prayed everyday that the bell wouldn't ring, so she wouldn't have to go home..

     I close my eyes when I get too sad, I think thoughts that I know are bad, close my eyes and I count to ten, hope it's over when I open them, I wish I could count to ten, make everything be wonderful again, close my eyes when I go to bed, and I dream of angels that make me smile, I feel better when I hear them say, everything will be wonderful someday, promises mean everything when you're little and the world's so big, I just don't understand how, you can smile with all those tears in your eyes, tell me everything is wonderful now, I go to school and I run and play, I tell the kids that it's all okay, I laugh aloud so my friends won't know, when the bell rings I just don't wanna go home, go to my room and I close my eyes, I make believe that I have a new life, I don't believe you when you say, everything will be wonderful someday...

     That song from Everclear rang in her head until she realized that it was true. She was tired of her life, but she couldn't do anything about it, and it killed her.

"Hey Makoto, what's up?" Duo asked her.
"Nothing, just walking to class." Makoto smiled.

"Yeah...So what's up with your cheek?" Duo wondered.

"..Oh, it's nothing, this morning when I opened my bathroom door, it kinda hit me in the face." Makoto covered.

"Man, that must suck; I hope your day doesn't get any worse." Duo stated.

"Yeah me too." Makoto sighed.

"Well, I gotta get to geometry.." Duo shuddered.

"Bye." Makoto said as she walked off.

     Makoto walked off to class, and sat near the window..She always liked to look out and think.. But her thoughts were pierced with the horrible times. School, would end too soon, and she knew it. The teacher's words seemed meaningless, and the classes soon ended, as did school.. Before she knew it, she was walking home with Rei.

Rei looked at Makoto with a worried look. "Are you okay? You don't look so good."

Makoto bit her lower lip and forced a smile. "I'm fine. Just thinking."

"About?" Rei's curiosity heightened.

"About things and just daydreaming." Makoto replied quickly.

"Well, my stop's here.. I'll see you at school tomorrow, and call me tonight okay?" Rei tried to talk to Makoto.

"Okay, I'll see you later too." Makoto said as she continued walking.

     Makoto didn't live far from Rei.. Probably about two minutes.. School just didn't last long enough, and she was tired of the house and the secrets that lay buried in the walls. When she came upon this house, the house that kept her soul in mind-numbing torture, she walked in and ran right past her dad to her room. Makoto threw her things down, and reached for her journal.

Dear Journal,

                Today was another day where I couldn't break free of my rape prison. Not my dad this time, but Vegeta. I feel so horribly about everything and I feel as if I can do nothing to stop anything from happening. I'm still scared and worried about everything. And in the last month, I have developed a thing to where I cough up blood and wheeze. I'll find out soon what is this that I have, but now I can hear my dad coming up the stairs, so I must cut this entry short.. Sorry.. But I'll continue to write everyday, from the depths of my soul..                Makoto...