Always in the Shadows
"I remember a shadow."
As a child Loki always held to the shadows, always observing and always watching.
In every shadow Loki seemed to watch what transpired around him without anyone actually seeing him. He would creep along the dark corridors and deserted hallways all alone. He always seemed to know what was going on without the others telling him and this often left said theirs confused. He had a gift for sneaking around; some frowned upon it while others envied it. He used this gift to watch and take in what others were doing quite often.
When Thor and his father had their moments, Loki was always watching.
When Thor and Odin spent time together Loki always noticed and observed how joyful they both were. They were always smiling, joking and laughing. Loki could see this from the shadows. And he could also see how whenever Odin's eye laid upon Thor it would fill with such pride and approval. Something that Loki himself never was granted from Odin. He never received the treatment Thor did. When they had spent their moments together without Thor they were short and excluded the laughs he heard coming from who he thought his father was .But how he wished he could experience Odin's pride in him just once. So that's why Loki watched from the shadows, with closed eyes, and pretended his father was speaking to him with that approval.
And when Thor was playing with his friends, Loki was always watching.
Whenever Thor, Sif and what would later be the Warriors Three, played together Loki choose to exclude himself knowing how he could turn the fun situation immediately uncomfortable. But that doesn't mean he didn't watch from the sidelines. Loki was always watching. Watching how they interacted. How they played friendly and smiled as children should. He noticed how they games they played were full of laughter and excitement. He also noticed how the few times he did play with them all, it was not the same. It was slightly more awkward with less friendly laughter and a sense that all but Thor did not want him there at all. But he longed to have friends as Thor did. He wanted people he could play, trust and enjoy his youth with. But no one welcomed him, him the outcast. So he continued to watch Thor and his buddies and pretended that their games and fun extended to him.
Then Loki grew older.
But through the time he grew he knew his home to be within shadows. Within the dark corners that had comforted him in his youth. These places were where he spent most of his time, in the shadows. Then the shadow his brother, the golden son, cast on him became his home. And in this shadow Loki retreated into his studies and magic knowing that it was a dark and cold place he would never escape. That he would be his brother's shadows forever. That it was too late to escape the shadows.
Now a gift he enjoyed in his youth had turned into a cruel curse that he would be forever burdened with.
"Living in the shade of your greatness."