A/N: How series 4 episode 20 should have ended - I couldn't help myself.
She finished the bottle of brandy she kept in her office cupboard. The one she'd shared with him. With Eddie. She knew it was a stupid idea. God knows, she was hardly an alcoholic, but tonight she needed it. She couldn't feel the tears now, although she knew they kept coming, spilling down her cheeks, burning trails of loss. He was still there, somewhere – trying to talk to Mel no doubt, she thought bitterly. No, that wasn't fair. This wasn't his fault. God, what a mess.
Pulling herself up onto unstable feet, she grabbed her bag and her keys and started walking, trying to hush the sobs that continued to escape her. Everything hurt. Moving hurt. Breathing hurt. Life was too painful without him. And yes, she knew that what she was about to do was illegal, never mind dangerous, but she was long past caring about her own safety. Life didn't feel worth fighting for right now and she just needed to get home and cry alone.
Reaching her car, she opened the door and slid herself in. All her movements felt fluid, wavy. She could feel her head spinning but she pulled herself back. She had to get on with it. When did she get so bloody weak? Strapping herself in, she put her keys in the ignition and launched herself out of the carpark. Her driving was erratic but she didn't care.
She knew she was over the speed limit when her phone started ringing. It was Eddie. She couldn't let herself answer. She felt tears at the edges of her vision and tried to wipe them away angrily as her phone began to ring again. She couldn't think straight and suddenly a corner came out of nowhere. She couldn't steer in time. A scream tore itself from her lips as her car collided into a tree, her head hitting the steering wheel as everything blurred at the edges.
Eddie had seen her leaving. He could tell she wasn't in a fit state to drive. She wasn't walking right and he could tell from his vantage point at a classroom window that she was shaking uncontrollably. Following her wasn't even a conscious decision. He ran downstairs and got into his car as quickly as he could, but she'd already driven off. Luckily, he had a pretty good idea where she was going – home.
He tried phoning her a couple of times as he drove frantically down the familiar road. He'd driven this way so many times before, though he would usually have been sat beside him, or waiting safe at the other end. It was wrong that she wasn't a definite anymore. He felt a familiar panic rising within him – one he recognised from the fire and the first day back – but he quashed it within him and kept going.
After a few minutes, he came to the sharp corner and he felt the panic making its way back up. It was pouring it down with rain, but he'd recognise Rachel's car anywhere. It was smashed up at the front, by the looks of things from a crash into a tree. He pulled over and rushed out, phoning her again. He felt bile rising in his throat when he heard her ringtone from within the car. "No."
He ran to the drivers' door and saw her sat with her head resting on the wheel. She was barely moving. He pulled the door open and her arm flopped out. She couldn't be dead. She must have been okay. He lifted her out gently. Her head was bleeding, though not as badly as it could have been, and she was breathing gently. He held her to him for a moment. She was safe. She was alive. She was with him. He knew he needed to get her to hospital, but aware she'd probably been drinking – the empty bottle of brandy was lying in the passenger seat – he figured it could wait till the morning.
Gently, he placed her into his passenger seat and strapped her in, before he began the drive back to her house. Once he arrived, he opened the door before he picked her up and carried her in. Her head seemed to have stopped bleeding, but it was a deep cut. He placed her down on the sofa before going to find some disinfectant and kneeling beside her, cleaning the cut. After a minute of him dabbing at her head, he saw her wince slightly. Was she waking up? "Rachel?" he asked tentatively.
She frowned slightly as a groan escaped her lips. "Rach?" Her eyes fell open and he squeezed her hand, relief making him giddy.
"Eddie? What are you doing here? What..?" she was getting more and more panicked.
"You crashed the car. I saw you leaving the school and I figured I'd follow you." Eddie told her, in an effort to calm her down.
"Where's my car?" she asked quietly. "Where's Melissa?"
"Your car is safely parked in a tree. As for Melissa, I have no idea, and frankly I don't care either."
"Eddie you know I can't do this. I can't do it to Melissa. What's that baby going to think of me when I grows up?"
"What about what Melissa did to you? Rach, I'm choosing you. That doesn't mean I'm not choosing the baby, it means I'm not choosing to make us both miserable. I meant what I said; I love you. I'm not leaving you," he whispered, pulling her back into his arms, where she belonged. "Come on, we can get the car in the morning and then I'm taking you to A&E. Until then, you can come to bed." And with that, he lifted her up and carried her up the stairs.