A/N: This is my second fanfic ever. This takes place the night after the events in "The Table Polarization". It's just a little thought that crossed my mind. Please do not pay any close attention to any math in this story, we are not friends. However like Bernadette, brevity is my friend so it's a short one and we'll get right to it.
The Uncountable Conundrum
Sheldon's brain would not let him stay asleep. He had awoken in the middle of the night with a mathematical problem that would not let him go back to sleep. He tried counting Catwomen but it was no use. He reluctantly left his bed and walked out to the living room, knotting his belt to his robe.
He flicked the lights on and blinked against the sudden brightness. He half thought about making himself some herbal tea, perhaps chamomile, to relax him, but his scientific curiosity needed satisfaction, and he decided to just get down to business. He walked over to his white board and erased his work from the day before. He was getting nowhere with what he had been working on earlier, and this equation was far more important anyway. He uncapped a blue dry erase marker and began.
Four hours later as the sun was rising, he realized that there was a random variable that was making the orderly and precise discipline of math impossible. He tried again and again to give this variable a value, but was unable. The value was uncountable. He worked his way back through the equation, and began to write down numbers that were more solid and comforting.
Two hours after that he hesitatingly wrote down the closest he could get to an answer:
A= 1c/75.8min.
The information for that data was over 3 ½ years old, but it was the closest he could get to any type of answer. Today math had failed him. The answer was inelegant and his work sloppy. He did get at inkling on what he was in for if decided to actually put an end to this four year experiment. That uncountable variable could change that number tenfold… or more. He didn't want to think of it. For one, there would be constant interruptions to his schedule, distracting behavior and incessant demands for his attention. Truth be known he already had Amy for that so back to square one. Secondly there was no space for that many. Third it was a hygienic nightmare beyond anything imaginable. Fourth he couldn't afford it. Also to extrapolate the equation it would mean:
A=19c/day or A= 6,935/per annum.
He could see law enforcement getting involved, humiliation from bad press and a padded room with his name on it. Not to mention Leonard's asthma would probably lead to his immediate death. Yeah, that was ridiculous. He would have to put up with the situation at hand. Though "putting up" seemed maybe a little harsh. She is a remarkable woman and he is quite fond of her. Challenging him mentally, almost but not quite of equal intellect. She was always doting on him almost to the point of worship. His little moth attracted to the brilliant flame that he is. Not to mention the kissing isn't bad either. Life was a more pleasant journey with her than without her, even if he fought her the entire way kicking, screaming and dragging his feet.
He could hear Leonard starting his day down the hallway, so he shrugged to himself and at the bottom of his board he wrote his final answer:
Amy = ∞ cats.
A/N I know that Sheldon ended up with a total of(cough) 25 cats, but looking at the episode he got 1 cat on the first day, 5 more on the second day and 19 more on the third day to equal a total of 25. If we agreed that he would get nineteen cats every twenty four hours it would average one cat every 75.8 minutes. Truth be known, it would probably be a different number if you kept increasing the amount of cats from 1 to 5 to 19 to ?, but as I said earlier, math is no friend of mine and we'll leave it at that. Also this equation was for a girl, who was a friend but not a girlfriend, not the object of fondness (we know love) Amy is today.