Title: In Which Science Investigate About Male Pregnancy
Author: Rasei
Disclaimer: I don't own Welcome to Nightvale.
Summary: Cecil announces that 'Perfect' Carlos and he are expecting their first child. The scientists wonder how that was possible. Also why isn't Carlos happy?
A/N: Thank you, my favorite Wrimo chatroom for all your help and for introducing me to Nightvale.
I was working quietly in my lab, listening to my boyfriend's voice giving the news. The other scientists were silently working, knowing I didn't like when people talk when Cecil's show was on. The last time one of them interrupted what Eliza calls Carlos's Happy Quiet Time, they mysteriously disappeared when someone mention it to Cecil.
"Listeners, before I start the weather, I have an important announcement. Carlos... beautiful Prefect Carlos... my boyfriend Carlos..."
I stopped working, confuse. What was Cecil getting at now? I haven't had any breakthroughs today, and there wasn't anything happening to my knowledge.
"My Carlos and I are expecting our first child. Here is the Weather."
I froze, not knowing what to say as every eye in the lab turned towards me. I felt my face pale, as I couldn't help but wonder. HOW THE HELL ARE WE EXPECTING A CHILD?
"Are you the one pregnant or is it Cecil that is pregnant?" asked one of my scientist. I just shook my head, not even having words.
"Maybe it was the Glow cloud?" said a different scientist, Kinja. "Can Glow Clouds cause pregnancies?"
"... Wouldn't it be notice if the Glow Cloud caused male pregnancy before? I mean it been around for over a year now."
"When did you guys have sex? I mean, I would have thought that Cecil would rave about how great at sex you are at on the radio show," said Rachelle, as she enter the room. She had gone to buy pizza from Rico's a while ago. Every eye turned to look at me. Blushing, I just shook my head.
"We haven't. At least, not that I remember," I whispered, making everyone lean in.
"Could it be something in the pizza? Maybe that part of why we're forced to eat pizza once a week."
"Again, don't you think we would have notice?"
"None of us were in a relationship before," said Dave, snagging a piece of the pizza. Everyone just stared at him, expecting him to become pregnant as he took a bite. Dave noticed that we were staring, and just shrugged.
"Maybe he feels like you are ignoring him lately, and Cecil is trying to get your attention. You have been working overtime lately with that mysterious flooding that keep happening at midnight," said Athou, turning back to her research.
"Maybe this is something dealing with the undercity underneath Line 5. Maybe that is how they are expecting to win the war?" said Eliza, from her desk.
"Maybe it has to do with the hooded figures. Like the hooded figure appear in your living room, holding a baby and doesn't leave until you take the baby."
"Wouldn't make sense it's an angel that delivers the baby?"
"Maybe it's a secret project for the World Government," said Jason, the youngest of all the scientist.
"Or it's the fault of that guy in the yellow jacket," said Dave, still eating the pizza.
"Carlos, are you okay?" asked Rachelle, making everyone turned once more in my direction. I felt like I couldn't get a breath in, and the world seemed fuzzy.
Baby... I'm going to be a father. How am I going to explain to my mom about this? I'm not ready to be a father. Not yet. Would I even be a good father? Would Cecil be a good father? Do I really love Cecil? Did Cecil really love me, because I am not perfect like he thinks? Did he...
"Ahhh, the child is so adorable. I will have an intern post a picture of the hologram to our webpage. In case you are wondering. It's not an actual baby. That would be just silly. Both my beautiful, perfect Carlos and I are men. Men cannot get pregnant. Remember, you can order the holograms of your possible children by putting a crib in your backyard underneath the cabbage plants. Please do not shake the baby holograms."
I blinked, staring at the radio. Did he just said there wasn't going to be a baby? Thank god, but now there is a sense of disappointment in me. Part of me wanted the baby. Is that a good sign in a relationship?
"I cannot believe none of us thought about cabbage plants," said Dave, taking another slice of pizza. His stomach made a weird noise, and Dave dropped the pizza.
"This just in, DO NOT EAT A BIG RICO's PIZZA TONIGHT! Apparently, aliens have put their children into the pizza dough. Eating the pizzas will cause a baby alien to rip open your stomach, after eating your insides. The last time this happen, it has that drinking milk will kill the baby aliens."
As I hurried to find milk to save Dave, I couldn't help be thankful for the problem. It will take my mind off of the hologram and the last six minutes.
"That is all for today. Good Night, Nightvale, Good Night."
