Welcome everyone. The bit with Ken saying "numner" was just a happy accident that I actually found funny. Enjoy and review.

Dinner with Heidi

Sitting in the dinning room of his home, Ken Finlayson sat opposite of his girlfriend Heidi Weinerman. She was over for dinner, he had done some outstanding cooking they were enjoying each other's company.

"Be honest, is my cooking as terrible as my looks?" asked Ken.

Heidi smiled at him and looked at the pasta on her fork. "Your looks aren't something to keep beating yourself up over, Ken. And your cooking is amazing. Why haven't you entered a cooking contest?"

"I never really thought about that."

"Why not?"

Ken shrugged. "I don't know I just wasn't really interested in entering a contest."

"You know, you should. I bet you'd win." Heidi put the fork in her mouth, ate the pasta and then swallowed. It was delicious!

"Oh, now its not that good!" Ken said, blushing immensely.

"It is." Complimented Heidi. "You should really enter."

"Just as long as you are not the judge."

"No, of course not." Laughed Heidi. "That wouldn't be fair!" Ken took a sip of his ice tea just as the phone started to ring. Getting up he answered it and discovered it to be a window salesman. Hanging up, Ken walked right back to the table and Heidi. "So where is your family right now?"

"My brother Pierre has been expelled from the University of Outer Mongolia and is now attending university in Lower England, my parents are closer than when they when I was new here."

"Oh?" asked Heidi. "Where are they?"

"Scotland. After such a long time, a Finlayson has finally set foot in Scotland again." Ken brought a hand to the back of his neck. "They will be home soon."

"Then you can introduce me to them!"

Ken laughed. "Yeah, my dad is going to love you!"

Heidi smiled and placed a hand on Ken's that was on the table. "And mine loves you! He likes that you were able to turn over a new leaf. And your mom?"

"I don't know. She may try to eat you like she did my sister or she may take a shine to you and try to eat you anyway." Ken shuddered. Some of his mom's tendencies were not pleasant to think about. "What about your mom?"

"Thinks I should find someone better looking."

Ken rolled his eyes. "Of course she does." Dinner continued in silence for a few minutes. Then the phone started ringing again and again Ken got up. Instead of a window salesman it was someone speaking French. Ken did not speak French so he hung up. "Why is some French speaker calling me, I don't even speak French!"

"Je parle Francais."

Ken turned and looked at Heidi. He would have felt annoyed that someone was speaking French but with her he was intrigued. Walking back to the table, Ken stopped at Heidi's chair and gave her an amorous kiss. Surprised by this, Heidi wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed back ardently.

And then the phone rang for a third time causing Ken to angrily break the kiss. "For the love of Ogma, now what?" Storming over to the phone, Ken picked it up but not without knocking the shelf off the table it was on. "What?"

"Ken, it's Randy!"

"Blast it, Cunningham! How did you get my home numner? Number! How did you get my home number?"

"Howard went through Heidi's phone and gave it to me!" This bit on information only caused Ken to scowl. Had that fat tub of lard no sense of privacy?

"Why are you calling?"

"Look, I was out with Theresa and we are being abducted by those Martians you, Heidi and Debbie encountered in Dover."

"How much do you two weigh? There are three of them! Is one carrying you and two carrying Theresa or vice versa? What's going on here?"

"No, no. There is about ten of them. Five carrying me and five carrying Theresa."

"Alright then." Ken hung up, picked up the phone cradle and then placed it back on the shelf. He then walked back over to Heidi, much less excited after that phone call. "Want to go save Cunningham and Theresa from Martians?"

Heidi could only stare. "How did they get your number?"

"Apparently Howard went through your phone."

"I am going to kill him!"