A/N: Fic inspired by the song This Far by Landon Pigg. I hope you enjoy. :)
I don't own Rookie Blue or the characters. Any mistakes are mine.
I see a picture of a family on a desk
And I wonder if the smiles are real
Sometimes I think we're better off than all the rest
How do you feel?
It was the first time Gail had visited Holly's apartment. Unlike the DiazPeckStein frat house she lived in, Holly's place was her own. At Gail's there were pieces of everyone in the living spaces, clothes strewn about and dirty dishes everywhere. Even though it was obvious that the people who lived there cared about it, Holly's place had a more…homely feel and Gail immediately loved it.
"Soo..this is your place." Gail drawled while beginning her inspection of the apartment.
"This is it." Holly said as she took in a deep breath and slowly let it out with that look in her eyes that just said 'home' as she turned around with her arms out at her sides. It was clear that this place was hers. She put down her bag, hung her keys on the peg by the door, and kicked off her shoes before heading to the refrigerator to grab a couple of a beers for her and Gail.
"Why do you need three rooms? I thought you lived by yourself?" Gail asked as she walked down the hallway. "Really? An office? With how many books?" Holly heard Gail ask incredulously followed by a pause and a quieter, "Your family actually looks happy in these photos." From what Holly had ascertained about Gail's family, her childhood was more like one long pre-police academy but still Gail had to have some pictures of her family where everyone was genuinely happy in them. Figuring out where Gail was, Holly put down the bottles and joined Gail by her desk where she could see the family picture that Gail had picked up and was scrutinizing.
"That's because that picture was taken after my brother had just made some joke that was dumb enough to where it was actually hilarious. He was so great at coming up with those." Holly chuckled to herself just remembering that moment, it was one of many that were caught on film.
"But it looks so…genuine. No family is that photogenic or has smiles that are…real." Gail was being serious. Holly could see her taking in the rest of the photos where all of the smiles were real and it suddenly dawned on Holly that Gail had never really felt this and it hurt Holly to even think that.
"Hey, there's no pressure here," Holly said as Gail looked away and inhaled like she was going to say something. But before she could Holly continued, "don't ever doubt my smiles in our pictures. When I'm with you, how could they be anything but genuine?" And she wrapped up Gail in her arms.
I see her arm around my shoulder and I know
It's a wonder you're even there
And when you smile I know without a doubt
That you really care, you really care
Gail just looked at Holly and her arms around her neck and thought she must be dreaming. How did someone like Holly ever find it in them to have feelings for someone like Gail? She'd never understand. "I know. It's just…sometimes it's hard to remember that not everyone has ulterior motives." With this admission, Gail couldn't bring herself to look at Holly and just stared at a point on the opposing wall. They just stood there, arms wrapped around each other for a few moments as Gail thought about how, at any moment Holly was going to kick her out of the apartment.
"Gail…look at me," Holly lifted Gail's chin with her finger so that she was looking in her eyes and could see the blonde searching her eyes. For what though, she didn't know so Holly tried her best to convey the fact that she was all-in in this relationship with her, snarky remarks and all. But Gail just smiled and Holly couldn't help but smile back hoping that her message got across those deep ice-blue pools. At that point she knew Gail understood and whatever she was going to say no longer mattered.
Hold me, hold me, lay me down
I don't even know how it got this far
But all these walls are falling down
And it looks like we made it this far
"Come on. I left our drinks out on the coffee table," Holly said as she led Gail back out of the room and into the living room. "You know, not many of my ex's or people have made it to this stage with me. Usually I just go to everyone else's place for months and avoid bringing someone in." That got a chuckle out of her serious blonde, and the brunette just smiled as she lightly pressed a kiss into the blonde's head.
"Oh really? I must be someone special then." Gail joked back as they settled in to Holly's couch with beers now in hand. At first they were on opposite sides with their legs tangled together in the middle, just talking. The mood was still generally serious, so Holly was taken aback when Gail had shifted so that she was leaning against Holly taking her hands and wrapping them around her so Holly was holding her. Gail was never really good with words so she spoke more with her actions but even then, Holly knew the significance of what Gail had just done. She knew that to get this point meant Gail had let her in and she gave her a brief squeeze to let her know that she wasn't going anywhere.
You always told me that the ears hear the words
But hearts, they can understand
I hope you know what I'm saying when I tell you
I'm trying to be a better man
They continued talking through the night even though they were both exhausted. Eventually Holly could hear Gail breathing evenly and knew her cop had fallen asleep on her, leaving her alone with her thoughts and reflecting on the hours long conversation that had just taken place but Holly's thoughts kept coming around to something Gail had said in passing when she was drifting in and out of sleep.
"You make me try to be a better person." With those words and the conviction, though said in that state between fully awake and asleep, Holly knew that Gail was in this as much as she was. After spending time with the caustic cop who wore her heart on her sleeve, if there was one thing she learned it was that Gail didn't change for anyone. Maybe she was finally able to start following her heart and stop thinking and listening to that voice whispering in her ear telling her she wasn't good enough, that she would never be enough. Holly could only hope that that was the case.
Once Holly knew that Gail was out for the night, she decided to sleep out in the living room with Gail not wanting to leave her alone. So Holly carefully reached over to grab the blanket off the nearby sofa and draped it over Gail while maneuvering herself into a more comfortable position, placed her glasses on the coffee table, gently kissed Gail goodnight and soon fell into a slumber.
And if I start to look around when you speak
It's not because I don't care
It's just sometimes I find another angle of your beauty
I have to try not to stare
Dawn was beginning to turn into morning when Gail was lazily woken up by the sun's rays dancing across her face. Holly's blinds didn't completely block out the light and the light that did get in all seemed to be concentrated on Gail's face. Or so that was what she figured. It took her a couple of seconds to figure out that she had fallen asleep on Holly's couch, with Holly, given that her eyes were still closed. She could hear Holly's heart beating and feel the gentle rise and fall of her chest indicating that she was still asleep, giving Gail some time alone to think about what had transpired the night before recalling one of the many compliments she had paid the gorgeous brunette.
"Gail! Gail! You're not even listening to me," Holly was cracking herself up telling Gail a story about something that had happened during medical school. In between the more serious moods, there were those moments when they were doubled over together clutching at their stomachs in laughter.
"Huh? No, I was." She really was doing her best to listen but that signature Stewart smile got her every time and seeing how happy she was in that moment, sharing her life with Gail, she just looked even better. Gail wanted so much to tell her, but couldn't so she replied with her usual snark, "You were telling me something about someone who did that thing that one time."
"Yeah, uh huh Peck. I'll start from the beginning. Just for you." And she did while maintaining the same enthusiasm she had the first time she told the story. It was simply amazing. The blonde could feel herself smiling at the memory and simply pulled the blanket over her head to block the sun and hold on to the most wonderful person she'd ever met.
And hold me, hold me, lay me down
I don't even know how it got this far
But all these walls are falling down
And it looks like we made it
When next the blonde awoke, the blanket was no longer over her face and she could feel a hand running through her hair with the other wrapped around her waist. Gail shifted slightly to allow her to better look at the brunette who was staring out the window. "Mmm. That feels good."
Holly's hand briefly paused as she realized Gail had awoken. "Good morning to you too. Did you sleep okay?" She pressed a kiss into the top of Gail's head.
"I did actually. It was the best sleep I've had in a while." She reached up and pulled Holly into a kiss. "Hmm…maybe we should each brush our teeth first." She was rewarded with that smile she loved so much and a laugh. Even though they both knew that, neither could find it in them to move from their current position.
Hold me, hold me, lay me down
I don't even know how it got this far
But all these walls are falling down
And it looks like we made it
Gail didn't know how long they sat there in silence, when Holly's phone went off. "Ugh. Don't get that."
"I have to. What if it's work? I may not have to go in, but I am on call today." Reluctantly, Gail sat up to let Holly grab her phone.
"If it's not work, don't answer." That earned her a light slap on the side of her arm and as Holly walked off, a nice view of the brunette. Turned out, it wasn't work and Holly didn't answer but sent off a quick text letting the other person know she had plans for the day.
And I would be with you
And I wouldn't run away
And I wanna fly you to the moon someday
And it looks like we made it
It looks like we made it this far
They spent the morning lounging around the apartment, sharing tidbits of their lives with the other. At one point Gail talked about how when she was a kid she dreamed of living in space, maybe on mars or perhaps the moon. In those scenarios though, it was always just her and Steve.
"And now?"
"I actually haven't thought about it in a while. Oh, I guess Steve would still be allowed to come with me." She waved her hands and looked out the window opening her mouth and closing it like she was going to say something. Shyly she turned around to look into Holly's patient eyes and added, nearly inaudibly, "And you." Holly's smile grew and she could see the trepidation dissipate from the blonde's eyes as she realized this person wasn't going anywhere. Holly wasn't just another person she was dating, and though they hadn't been dating for very long Gail knew this relationship was just different from her previous ones. It just felt different. It felt right.
"Oh really? That could be fun. Living in space." Just like that, they both knew that this wasn't just another relationship for the other. They were something special. They had something special.
And hold me, hold me, lay me down
I don't even know how it got this far
But all these walls are falling down
And it looks like we made it
And hold me, hold me, lay me down
I don't even know how it got this far
But all these walls are falling down
And it looks like, it looks like we made
Looks like
It looks like we made
Looks like, looks like, looks like