Author's Note: I really get inspired by music when it comes to cj. I was planning on making this a one shot, but if i get good reviews i might continue, or if i decide i feel like it.
She hadn't talked to him for what felt like months, but was in actuality only a couple of weeks. They hadn't talked about their relationship since she invited him in that one night. If only he had said yes. Why couldn't he have said yes. Shit, I mean he rushed me for years, but now it's too soon. But this was not the first time he fused. He was a little reluctant the time after he gave me back my mother's necklace that had gotten stolen, and of course there was that time…less than a year ago in the hosp… No, I don't let myself go there. Maybe it was my own doing, maybe I did deserve it. I knew he loved me, that couldn't be without me, but I never showed how I felt. I just led him on, but I couldn't form the words. They just wouldn't come. I felt I loose control of my emotions. Whatever, I still needed to see him if not only for the case, but for myself.
Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.
I walked into the station. He was nowhere in sight. I walked to his desk, but still I couldn't find him. Maybe I just stay here and wait, but I'm not the waiting type. I walk the down the hall of the station, I see Lu's door. She is such a nice person, I usually don't do well with other women, but she was so so so… comforting. Well I would knock, but its slightly open. I doubt she'll mind. I'll just walk in.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
His arms around her. His lips pressing against hers. They are in a mad heat of passion that seemed, well he didn't even kiss me that way ever. They see me, before any of us can say a word; I do what I do best. RUN, run far, far away.
I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the Mother of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.
I don't know where to go. I don't want to go back to the morgue. I want to be alone and away from the world. I don't want to go to my apartment, too many memories of too many men. I need to find somewhere anywhere that will take away my pain. Church worked once upon a time, but it won't solve this problem. I rush in my car. I head for nowhere, anywhere but here, where I am. I just drive up 93, with no direction. My tears overwhelm. WHY? Why did he kiss her? Why did he say no the other night? Why did I say no so many times more? Why was I so reluctant? What's wrong with me? Am I eternally cursed? Was I meant to be alone for ever? What kind of life would I have alone, maybe it would be better off if I didn't exist. N I can't think like that! My morgue family loves me, but why doesn't he? I gave myself to him. I risked everything to be with him, but I guess it was just too late and not enough. I love him. I should have told him so. My tears stream down my face, a waterfall of salt and pain. They cloud my vision. I see, I think, a deer. I swerve, I can't be a killer! He's safe and so am… "HONK"
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I see bright lights. They are the colors of the rainbow all mixed in one, but it's a rainbow in a lightning storm. Dangerous, but beautiful. My head goes forward, and now it hurts, but I can't move. I feel sleepy, but as a doctor I know I can't loose consciousness. My eyes flutter. My mind wanders; it brings me back to him. I should have told him so long ago, the truth. He never knew, and now might not ever.
And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I hang on as long as I can. I can only feel the beat in my head. I know I should feel more pain. I know something is wrong. I love him; I love him more than anyone. Why did I have to wait? Why did have to be so selfish? I wish he were here. I wish he could be my hero and rescue me. My eyes stop fluttering and just close. My mind sleeps, but dreams of him. Of our love. Of what could have been.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.