Title: Can You Handle It
Rating: T (pg;13)
Creation Date: Saturday, February 17th, 2006
Author: LK & CBA
Dedication: To knowing who you are, and accepting it for what it is, this is dedicated to my sister and her wedding coming up in the subsequent year.
Disclaimer: I claim nothing but the plot, and of course if you do not know yet all those quirks are my own, lol, have fun reading it.
From the very beginning it had been your fault. You were just so faultless; it drove me crazy just knowing that such a perfect being actually existed. I couldn't help but blame you when I fell in love, and again when you left to gain more power; as if you hadn't had enough to begin with.
You had left me sleeping on that bench, and that was probably the best thing you had ever done for me. After that day I was able to become who I had wanted to be, and not what I had thought you'd sought. My day's were passed in practice, and work was always hard and scarcely permitting a thought even in the direction of you, but time brought it back to me in the most absolute way; you.
The day you came back I had balled in the arms of my mother, unsure of whether to welcome or scold you, and afraid you would have forgotten me in the time spent in sound. It wasn't until a week after your return that I was able to confront you, and on that day I had promised never to break down for you again, but I did. I had cried at the sight of you, for it wasn't only me who had changed. Your eyes were sullen with regret, and I could only hope your past would heal as mine had; in the arms of a lifetime of friends and favors.
I pleaded with you that whole week to simply acknowledge that some things were not perfect, that sometimes you just had to accept your own faults, though you constantly smirked in a way that assumed my own. I had understood from the beginning just how forthright your revenge had been, and you not once denied putting it before me, nor Naruto or any of the others. What confuse me though, was that you bore such intentions at such a young age.
I had often wondered how one such as you would gain anything in life when all they focused on was pain and revenge, but there must be something else. There had to be something else driving your ambition, for life and death were things to consider as predictable. Time was never the same, but the consequences were. You had come back of free will-granted the soldiers who had met you at the gates- I will never forget that. You brought back lost hope on that day; just with your presence you had changed my mind. I had stared at you in utter disbelief, and my arms had shook with awe as you gathered me into a desperate hug for the first time in my life.
I had planned a life without you, though now I'm not sure what to say anymore. Who is this person? This one who stares at me when I'm reading, and calls me up at four in the morning to ask what I'm doing, when did you change? I still remember the times back when life was simple and we still thought in dollar bills and not utilities. I had pretended everything was perfect then, but now I find myself requesting an explanation. Why have you sought me out? What of my life do you wish to have?
I'm not sure what to say anymore, and knowing that you are the very man that hold's my thoughts for nearly every moment of every day. I had once told you that I loved you with every bit of my heart, well now I'm afraid to say that I love you with everything that I have become, with every once of every mistake and every moment of every hectic day, you are the only one on my mind. You are the only one able to capture my eyes in a crowded room, and hug away my sorrows in a moment.
I don't think I've every acknowledged my own faults, have I? The fact that I talk too fast sometimes, and confuse you to death with my frustrations, the fact that I pretend not to hear you when your speaking to me too early and I wish to go back to bed. The simple things I do like brush my teeth for ten minutes straight, and leave my towels on the bathroom floor, not to mention that I hang up the phone on you if I don't want to talk.
I used to be so loud, even alone in my house I would talk, as if to emphasize the fact that I was. I pretended that I didn't need you, even though you were the last piece lost from the puzzle that my life had become. You had started to come around the moment you returned, whether to rebuild your clan or fall in love I wasn't sure, but I didn't care too much either. Now though I wish to know, I wish you to tell me why it is you've asked me to love you, and to share with you my life. Now as you sleep in the bed, hogging the covers as I stand on the balcony.
You asked me to marry you last night and I just can't seem to figure out why. I admit we get along a lot better than we used to, but is that enough? Can you tolerate me leaving the cookie jar open, and slamming the bathroom door? Can you handle me burning the eggs and blowing up the microwave? Can you stand me turning all the lights off and sitting in the dark for hours? Can you live with me coming home at odd hours of the night, and sometimes not at all? Can you bear to watch me cry to a movie, and fall asleep on the couch? Can you accept it when I say I'm to tired to talk and fight for the coffee?
I'm not sure if you can, and though I'm not sure what this means I haven't given you an answer. I'm stuck you see, because you left me. I'm a normal person, as much as my lifestyle exceeds that title I have my idiosyncrasy's and honestly I'm not sure if you'll think me annoying, but I'm not sure if you won't.
I'm staring at you and I just can't make up my mind, sure you're all I've ever wanted, but am I all you'll ever want? Will you want more? Will you love me when I'm pregnant and perturbed? I suppose that's only in a thought, though I do wish to know. Though maybe one of those lessons I was supposed to learn was skipped, 'because I'm pretty sure you just don't get to see your future. I'm not allowed to understand everything, and I'm sure there'll be times when we very nearly clash, but that's life. I'm not perfect, but neither are you.
Should I be scared? I'm not too sure, but I think I'm willing to find out. I sigh as I take that first sip of my fresh morning coffee with a new meaning to it all. My eyes glance to the bed only to find your not there. I suppose that's because you're hugging me. Well it is your entire fault you know. I've fallen in love with you, and it's only making me wonder and think more.
"Penny for your thoughts?" God your voice is so deep.
"How about a diamond ring?" I laugh as you arch a brow, lifting my hand to my line of vision.
"Already taken care of." You say, your laughing demeanor sending chills up my spine.
"You put it on in my sleep?" you nod again and I'm left stunned, once more in awe of both my own ignorance and your subtlety. I can't imagine how you did it, but I think my heart just exploded, there is no way a person can love someone this much, is there?
"I couldn't sleep with your snoring anyway." I turn to anger in a moment, though we both know it's jokingly. I think I know just if you can handle me now, and as disconcerting as it is, I'm glad for it.
"Just wait 'till we're married, then you'll see how I really am." I joke, my eyes playfully batting as you poke me in the side.
"Can't wait." You say and I'm for once assured that you are not the man you were in dollar-bill life, you are Sasuke Uchiha; avenger and lover.