Disclaimer: You know I don't own the characters, I don't know why I
even bother telling you. Oh, right, the possibility of getting sued
for a lot of money. Oh, and the song is Fool, by Shakira, I don't
own that either, no matter how much I want to.
A/N: I can't believe I wrote this. I promised myself I would NEVER
write angst. I'm so ashamed. This story just started out as a 'Ginny
is obsessed with Harry' story, then it mutated into this. It's a
Ginny POV and she's meant to be in sixth year. This is my first song
fic, so I'd really like to know what you think. Flames are accepted,
my motto that I just came up with now is (apologies if it belongs to
anyone else, I didn't know) 'I roast my marshmallows over your
flames.'
Fool
'Tell me lies, slap me in the face, just. Improvise, do something really clever, That'll make me hate your name forever'
Why do you have to be so nice? It would have been so much easier if you were a total arse. But no, not you. Not the incredibly kind, gentle and overall just plain nice guy, Harry Potter. For once couldn't you have just done something really horrible? Anything? Just something that would have given me a reason to hate you, to get over this obsession, this love I have for you. You and your bright emerald eyes and your unruly raven black hair and perfect body. Come on, just blow a gasket or something, I don't care, just do anything that would have given me an excuse to hate you. Please.
'You might swear you'd never touch a lady, Well, let me say, you're not too far from maybe, Everyday you find new ways to hurt me'
The thing is though, while everyone else sees you as Harry Potter, 'The Boy Who Lived', I see you as Harry Potter, the boy who stole my heart. No matter how nice you are though, no matter how gently you try to let me down, it's like a knife being twisted in my chest. Then there's the way I used to see you look at Cho Chang, the Ravenclaw bitch that you were going out with. All she had to do was bat those pretty little eyes of hers and you went to her like a good puppy. I remember when she left last year and told you it wasn't going to work between the two of you. I saw you down in the common room every night while everyone else was asleep, crying over her as you looked at pictures of the both of you. Pictures that I should have been in. She had no idea what she had with you, just threw you aside. You had served your purpose. To her you were just a trophy, something she could show off. I would never do that to you, never hurt you. no matter how much you hurt me, even if it is just with your presence.
'But I can't help it if I'm just a fool, Always having my heart set on you, 'Till the time you start changing the rules, I'll keep chasing the soles of your shoes, Ahh, fool'
I know everyone thinks what I feel for you is just another one of those little school girl crushes, especially since it's the famous Harry Potter. I can tell you they are dead wrong. I can't help my feelings for you, and all I know is that I love you. I've never even so much as looked at another boy. You're the only one I want, and it'll stay that way until either I die or you go through some dramatic change that turns you into an evil bastard. But you know as well as I do that the last bit will never happen. There's nothing in this world that could take away your purity and goodness. So, it looks like it's going to be the first choice.
'God resigned from hearing my old story, Every night, I'm paying hell for glory, I'm embarrassed but I'm much more sorry'
Everyone knows how it is with me, and I'm pretty sure everyone's sick of it, hell, even I'm sick of it. Unfortunately I'm stuck feeling this way. Every single night I have to put a silencing spell around my bed just so I don't wake the other girls up with my sobs and wasted tears. Yeah, that's right, I cry myself to sleep at night over you, it got even worse at the beginning of this year. After that stupid Cho incident you started sleeping with any girl that smiled or winked at you just so you would feel loved. Didn't think I knew about that, did you? Well, I do, and it breaks my heart because I love you more than all of those little sluts put together. I still remember back when I was in first year, when all of this started. I sent you one of those stupid singing valentines Lockhart had set up. You have no idea how embarrassed and sorry I was about putting you through that afterwards.
'All this pain begins to feel like pleasure, With my tears you'd make a sea a desert, Salt my wounds and I'll keep saying thank you'
I wish I could says the same as the song, but no pleasure has came from my pain, none whatsoever, I can identify with the tears though. How often have I had to run to the girls' bathroom so no one would see me cry when I heard another random girl go on about how she 'bagged Harry Potter.' I sometimes pity those girls, some of them actually think they might be getting a long-term relationship out of it all. Bigger fools than I am if you ask me. You always do your best to comfort me though, the few times you have found me crying. I always made up some excuse of course, but I love to know that you care about me at least a little bit. It's not enough though. If you haven't figured it out yet, this is a good bye letter, it's up to you if you want to show it to anyone. By the time you read this I'll probably be dead and causing a lot of commotion in the girls' toilets. If I've timed this right, Parvati and Lavender will come in and find me at about 12:45 when they come in for their usual girl talk, and you will probably find this note at about 12:50 when you come up to get your things for Transfiguration and Potions. I want Ron, Mum, Dad, the twins, Percy, Charlie, Bill and all of my friends to know that I loved them so much and I'll always be with them. I want you and Ron to stay friends, to ask for nothing to change would probably be too much, but please, try your best. The whole point of putting the song with my letter was to let you all see that none of this is anyone's fault, so please, don't blame yourselves or anyone else. I know some of you will blame Harry, but don't. He didn't know about the extent of my feelings. As far as he knew it was the same as the rest of you thought, a harmless crush. He didn't know this would happen. Well, I guess I should wrap this up with some memorable philosophy for life, so here it goes. Seize the day. Don't hold back your feelings for others, especially if it's love. You'll regret it if you do, because even if you tell yourself you'll tell them, you never know what tomorrow holds and it may just be too late.
I love you all
Ginny
Fool
'Tell me lies, slap me in the face, just. Improvise, do something really clever, That'll make me hate your name forever'
Why do you have to be so nice? It would have been so much easier if you were a total arse. But no, not you. Not the incredibly kind, gentle and overall just plain nice guy, Harry Potter. For once couldn't you have just done something really horrible? Anything? Just something that would have given me a reason to hate you, to get over this obsession, this love I have for you. You and your bright emerald eyes and your unruly raven black hair and perfect body. Come on, just blow a gasket or something, I don't care, just do anything that would have given me an excuse to hate you. Please.
'You might swear you'd never touch a lady, Well, let me say, you're not too far from maybe, Everyday you find new ways to hurt me'
The thing is though, while everyone else sees you as Harry Potter, 'The Boy Who Lived', I see you as Harry Potter, the boy who stole my heart. No matter how nice you are though, no matter how gently you try to let me down, it's like a knife being twisted in my chest. Then there's the way I used to see you look at Cho Chang, the Ravenclaw bitch that you were going out with. All she had to do was bat those pretty little eyes of hers and you went to her like a good puppy. I remember when she left last year and told you it wasn't going to work between the two of you. I saw you down in the common room every night while everyone else was asleep, crying over her as you looked at pictures of the both of you. Pictures that I should have been in. She had no idea what she had with you, just threw you aside. You had served your purpose. To her you were just a trophy, something she could show off. I would never do that to you, never hurt you. no matter how much you hurt me, even if it is just with your presence.
'But I can't help it if I'm just a fool, Always having my heart set on you, 'Till the time you start changing the rules, I'll keep chasing the soles of your shoes, Ahh, fool'
I know everyone thinks what I feel for you is just another one of those little school girl crushes, especially since it's the famous Harry Potter. I can tell you they are dead wrong. I can't help my feelings for you, and all I know is that I love you. I've never even so much as looked at another boy. You're the only one I want, and it'll stay that way until either I die or you go through some dramatic change that turns you into an evil bastard. But you know as well as I do that the last bit will never happen. There's nothing in this world that could take away your purity and goodness. So, it looks like it's going to be the first choice.
'God resigned from hearing my old story, Every night, I'm paying hell for glory, I'm embarrassed but I'm much more sorry'
Everyone knows how it is with me, and I'm pretty sure everyone's sick of it, hell, even I'm sick of it. Unfortunately I'm stuck feeling this way. Every single night I have to put a silencing spell around my bed just so I don't wake the other girls up with my sobs and wasted tears. Yeah, that's right, I cry myself to sleep at night over you, it got even worse at the beginning of this year. After that stupid Cho incident you started sleeping with any girl that smiled or winked at you just so you would feel loved. Didn't think I knew about that, did you? Well, I do, and it breaks my heart because I love you more than all of those little sluts put together. I still remember back when I was in first year, when all of this started. I sent you one of those stupid singing valentines Lockhart had set up. You have no idea how embarrassed and sorry I was about putting you through that afterwards.
'All this pain begins to feel like pleasure, With my tears you'd make a sea a desert, Salt my wounds and I'll keep saying thank you'
I wish I could says the same as the song, but no pleasure has came from my pain, none whatsoever, I can identify with the tears though. How often have I had to run to the girls' bathroom so no one would see me cry when I heard another random girl go on about how she 'bagged Harry Potter.' I sometimes pity those girls, some of them actually think they might be getting a long-term relationship out of it all. Bigger fools than I am if you ask me. You always do your best to comfort me though, the few times you have found me crying. I always made up some excuse of course, but I love to know that you care about me at least a little bit. It's not enough though. If you haven't figured it out yet, this is a good bye letter, it's up to you if you want to show it to anyone. By the time you read this I'll probably be dead and causing a lot of commotion in the girls' toilets. If I've timed this right, Parvati and Lavender will come in and find me at about 12:45 when they come in for their usual girl talk, and you will probably find this note at about 12:50 when you come up to get your things for Transfiguration and Potions. I want Ron, Mum, Dad, the twins, Percy, Charlie, Bill and all of my friends to know that I loved them so much and I'll always be with them. I want you and Ron to stay friends, to ask for nothing to change would probably be too much, but please, try your best. The whole point of putting the song with my letter was to let you all see that none of this is anyone's fault, so please, don't blame yourselves or anyone else. I know some of you will blame Harry, but don't. He didn't know about the extent of my feelings. As far as he knew it was the same as the rest of you thought, a harmless crush. He didn't know this would happen. Well, I guess I should wrap this up with some memorable philosophy for life, so here it goes. Seize the day. Don't hold back your feelings for others, especially if it's love. You'll regret it if you do, because even if you tell yourself you'll tell them, you never know what tomorrow holds and it may just be too late.
I love you all
Ginny