Chasing Ghosts
She checked herself in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were ringed with red and she was pale. She'd been crying a lot as of late; ever since she'd left. It wasn't fair. How could they bring her back with the hope that she could move back and then send her away again? The day she'd said goodbye, she'd made sure to get her newest cell phone number. It's how they'd stayed in touch for the last month. But it had been too long. So with a look of resolve, Olivia climbed out of her car and walked into the building. With a purpose in her walk she marched right past her desk, past her partner and right into Captain Cragen's office.
"Captain, I need some time off," Liv announced once she'd closed the door.
"You alright Olivia?" Cragen questioned, knowing she rarely took vacation days.
"Yeah…I just need to get away for a few days," she responded as vaguely as she could.
"Ok, sure. Use as many days as you need," he told her. With a smile, Olivia left his office.
"What was that about?" Elliot called after her as she sauntered towards the doorway with a smile on her face.
"I'm taking a couple days to myself," she answered over her shoulder.
"You? Take vacation days?" Munch exclaimed.
"Who are you and what have you done with the real Olivia Benson?" he added sarcastically, in that tone that only John Munch could use.
"Very funny John. I'll see you guys in a couple of days," she remarked before disappearing into the stairwell that led downstairs.
Satisfied, she climbed back into her car and headed for the bus station. She was going to surprise Alex. She would take a Greyhound and then a cab to her house. She practically sprinted towards the bus as it pulled into the depot. As quickly as she could, she handed the driver her ticket and found a window seat. Within ten minutes the bus was on its way.
"Where you headed?" the woman sitting next to Liv asked about a half hour into the trip.
"To see a friend of mine," Liv answered.
"I'm visiting my grandson. He graduates from pre-school this week. He insisted I be there," the woman explained.
"Little Joshua is a rowdy one. Just like his Dad," she continued.
After a while, Olivia tuned her traveling companion out. Her mind was focused on one thing, reuniting with the woman she loved. Alex understood why she couldn't have a boyfriend. Besides the fact that they all got weird when she brought up her livelihood, she just wasn't interested in men. Alex was the only person who knew. Not even Elliot knew. As far as Olivia was concerned, she liked it that way.
"We're here," the woman whispered, nudging Liv in the arm.
"Huh?" Liv asked sleepily. She hadn't realized she'd fallen asleep.
"We're here," she said a little louder.
Without another word, Olivia grabbed her overnight bag and disembarked from the bus, managing to flag down a cab fairly easily. It was a short ride to Alex's place. She wondered what name she'd been given now.
"Thanks. Keep the change," Liv muttered, tossing a fifty at the driver. Taking a deep breath, she moved to the door and knocked.
It was pulled open a few minutes later and the face that greeted her was an all too welcome sight. Alex stared at Olivia for a good five minutes, saying nothing.
"Olivia…I…what are you doing here?" she asked, speechless at having her girlfriend show up on her doorstep unannounced.
"I missed you. I wanted to see you. Alex, I needed to see you," Liv explained, placing her hand on Alex's.
"Well come in," Alex murmured after a moment. Olivia followed her hostess in and closed the door.
"Nice place," she commented as Alex led her to the spare bedroom. Olivia's face fell.
She set her bag down on the floor. Just as Alex turned to leave, Olivia caught her, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. Alex began to pull away but allowed her lover the pleasure of feeling welcome.
"God I've missed you," Olivia breathed, wrapping her arms around Alex's neck. v "I know you have," Alex whispered back, cupping her cheek.
"I've missed you too," she added before pulling away.
"This isn't a bad time is it?" Olivia asked, following Alex into the kitchen.
"No…I just wasn't expecting you," Alex told her, running her fingers over the edge of the counter.
"I'm sorry. I should have called. I just…wanted to surprise you."
"Olivia, it's fine, really. How are things in New York?"
"The same. The city's still full of creeps and perps. We try to take them down one by one," the cop responded, leaning against the table.
"It still kills me we couldn't nail the guy that shot you though," she added disdainfully.
"We can't get them all Liv," Alex retorted, eyeing the clock; 6:20.
"You hungry?" she asked of her girlfriend.
"Starving actually. But let's order in…I don't trust you in the kitchen," Liv said with a laugh.
"Are you saying I can't cook?" Alex shot back with a grin.
"The last time I let near a stove you burned the pasta! Only you could burn pasta," Olivia exclaimed, bursting into laughter.
"It was a simple mistake but as you wish. What do you want?" Alex asked, brandishing a wide array of take out menus.
"Chinese."
"Just so happens I know a pretty good place that delivers."
Half an hour later the two women found themselves in Alex's living room, sharing Chinese food like college roommates. Presently, Alex was offering a piece of spicy chicken to her lover. Just as Olivia was about to take it, Alex's grip relaxed and the chicken fell, quite conveniently, on Olivia chest.
"Sorry," Alex cried, leaning forward, seductively taking it back.
"You're not sorry, you tease," Olivia shot back, tackling Alex, fixing her lips firmly to the former ADA.
Alex felt something stir within her. Had she really been away from Olivia for this long? Had they really gone so long without sex? Well she assumed Liv felt the same way and planned to make up for it during her stay.
"Maybe we should…go…" Alex gasped, gesturing towards the hallway that led to her room.
"Yeah," Liv answered, sitting up.
The pair sprinted down the hall like marathon runners; clothes starting to come undone along the way. Alex entered the room first, grabbing Liv by the arm and tackling her to the bed. Both women looked dead serious. But beneath their serious expressions they were bubbling like volcanoes, ready to erupt. Olivia was struggling to undo the buttons on Alex's blouse.
"What is it with you and button down shirts," she muttered, finally undoing the bottom button.
"Well had I known I would have had company I would have changed," Alex spat back, pulling Liv's shirt over her head.
Liv leaned up and kissed the woman she'd fallen in love with almost the moment they'd met. Alex's tongue slipped between the detective's lips as she poured all of her energy into seducing her. Deftly, their hands roamed over the other, removing bras and pants. Finally coming up for air, Alex gazed lovingly down at Olivia.
"You're so beautiful," she gasped, still catching her breath.
"I've been waiting for this for months Alex. Don't make me wait longer," Olivia whined, giving the blond a half-desperate look.
With a sigh, Alex slipped beneath the covers, tossing her panties on the floor, just high enough for Olivia to see. Liv smiled, discarding hers and climbed under to join Alex. At first, they just lay there, gazing at each other, reminding themselves how the other looked without clothes. Olivia leaned over, placing her lips next to Alex's ear.
"I love you," she breathed as she slipped her hand into her lover's.
"Shut up and kiss me," Alex hissed back, pulling Olivia atop her. Liv happily obliged.
As their bodies met for the first time in months, both women felt a sense of familiarity and security. Liv began to pepper kisses along the blonde's collar bone, slowly moving towards the valley between her breasts. With a sly grin she flicked her tongue out over Alex's nipple.
"Christ!" Alex exclaimed, arousal coursing through her body like a whip. Liv let out a soft laugh as she moved her lips back up to meet her girlfriend's.
"You've missed me," Liv remarked through a kiss.
"Damn right I have," Alex replied, letting her hand fall on Liv's thigh. She slowly massaged towards her lover's sex.
Olivia let a moan escape her as Alex inched closer. Her hands grabbed at the pillow in front of her once Alex's pointer finger slid into her depths. She laid her head on Alex's shoulder as she continued ever-so-slowly fuck her. She could feel herself moving closer to ecstasy. She opened her mouth to say something but Alex shushed her with a kiss.
"Harder," Liv managed to get out before Alex reclaimed her lips.
Alex, with a devious grin, quickened her pace, inserting a second finger. She knew how Olivia liked it. She longed for it to be her turn though. Liv knew how to push all the right buttons and drive her crazy. She pushed her own longings away, focusing all of her energy on giving her girlfriend a good time.
"Shit!" Liv cried as the pressure increased. She began to gyrate against Alex's hand. She needed to get off. All of this pent up frustration was going to come out, she could fee it.
"Is that how you like it," Alex hissed in Olivia's ear. God, it turned her on when Alex talked like that.
"Shut up and fuck me," Liv spat through gritted teeth. Another few thrusts from Alex and Olivia's juices were spilling over. The cop pressed her lips to the attorney's ear as she moaned loudly through the orgasm. For a moment, they lay there, breathing heavily.
"Thank you," Liv murmured.
"Any time," Alex replied, stroking Liv's hair.
"Tell me what you want," Liv commanded in seductive tones.
"Just to lie here," Alex answered, causing Olivia to raise her brow.
"I come all the way here and you just want to lie here?" Olivia exclaimed.
"Yes. I just want to enjoy you being here," Alex cooed, wrapping her arms around her lover.
Olivia sighed but acquiesced. They laid there for hours, not saying a word. Eventually Alex fell asleep, her head resting on Olivia's shoulder. Liv huddled closer to the warmth from her girlfriend's body, finally allowing sleep to overcome her. The following morning, Alex woke to find herself alone in bed. She got up, grabbing a robe and wandered down the hall. She picked up the delicious smell of freshly brewed coffee. As she walked into the kitchen she found Olivia pouring two cups of coffee. The table was set with bowls of fruit, pancakes, syrup and bacon.
"What's all this?" Alex asked amazed as Liv placed the cups on the table.
"Breakfast. I couldn't sleep so…I cooked," Liv admitted, wrapping her arms around Alex's waist.
"It looks delicious," Alex complimented as she sat down.
Olivia smiled across the table at the blonde as they both dug into their plates of food. The room was silent except for the scratching of silverware on plates.
"So when are you going back?" Alex asked, as they finished up the pot of coffee.
"I don't know. I feel kind of guilty just leaving the squad one person short. But I don't know when I'll see you again," Liv answered truthfully. Why was it so hard?
"Olivia, you should go back if you feel that's where you're needed," Alex stated firmly.
"I guess it's good I didn't unpack then," Olivia muttered, setting her cup in the sink.
"Liv, I didn't mean it like that," Alex protested, reaching out to grab her wrist.
"I know…I just…I hate not being with you all the time," Olivia murmured, turning around and flinging herself at Alex.
"Shhh. It's alright," Alex consoled.
After a few more minutes to quell her tears, Olivia went and got her bag. She checked her wallet to find she was getting low on cash and couldn't afford a taxi back to the bus depot. Following a brief session of twisting her girlfriend's arm, Liv managed to get Alex to drive her.
"Be a good girl," Alex said jokingly as she hugged Olivia tightly.
"You too. I'll call when I get in," Liv called as she boarded the bus that would take her back to New York. She gazed at Alex through the bus window as it pulled out. So much for chasing ghosts.