Broken Wings
1. Feather Boy
Seven-year-old Castiel Novak stood on the old walkway and gulped. The stolen crash-mats below looked very far away, much further than they had on the ground, and suddenly the idea seemed scary and reckless. Frowning, he shuffled away from the edge, feeling his pulse increase anyway, when a large hand took hold of his own. Jerking his head up, he found himself looking straight at a wide smile.
"Don't worry, Cas," his older brother, Michael, said. "If you're worried, you can use me as a crash-mat too." The confidence in his tone soothed the youngster, who managed a small smile back and stepped up to the edge of the walkway. Instead of looking down, Michael convinced him to watch Uriel instead.
"Is everyone ready?" Uriel called, looking up at them from the warehouse floor.
Castiel glanced to his left. Beside him, his brother Gabriel was bouncing impatiently on the walkway's edge, and further on was Lucifer, sat on top of the handrail, an excited gleam in his eye. Looking right, Cas could see a similar look in Michael's eye, whilst Raphael beyond him was calm and focused. He swallowed when Raphael nodded, and took a deep breath. "Don't forget to keep your eyes open," Michael whispered.
"On three then," Uriel said, raising the camera. "One, two, three!"
They jumped. Cas felt the safety of the walkway vanish, and suddenly all that was beneath his feet was the air. He was weightless, the breath in his lungs lost along with his stomach. His clothes lifted slightly, the wind ruffled his short black hair as they fell, and he heard Michael and Gabriel whoop, perhaps Lucifer too. It didn't matter that the ground was rushing up to meet them, for in the split second it took for Uriel to take the picture, his fear vanished and Castiel had never felt so alive; he honestly thought he and his brothers were flying. It was wonderful.
Eight years later, Cas smiled fondly at the photo as he lay on his bed, remembering the day it was taken. After landing on the mats, the exhilaration of the fall had stayed with them for ages. They had quickly crowded round Uriel, desperate to see the outcome of their stunt. They'd been thrilled with it, and had each been promised a copy. Lucifer had even taken him back up to do the jump again, but it hadn't quite been the same, and after that it was a case of running and trying to escape from the tickling spree Gabriel started. They had all joined in, eventually – even Raphael, who suggested Uriel take more pictures. He'd never seen those ones, but he didn't care; the jump had been the one that mattered. It was a reminder of the best day of his life.
Back then, there had been no worries, no trouble between them at all. Cas remembered the point when, after Uriel had left, they'd all flopped onto the crash-mats and just enjoyed being with each other, staring at the warehouse roof until long shadows were being cast by the low-hanging sun. Raphael had carried him home on his shoulders, and Gabriel and Lucifer started a joke-telling contest on the way home. Gabe won – he always did. They'd kept the photo a secret from their parents when they got back, and after nearly soaking each other getting clean for dinner their father announced he had some news.
Castiel frowned. Their parents had made dinner together, an entire roast dinner with the tastiest lamb and the best roast potatoes he could remember. There had been laughter and smiles, bright faces and light tones, even as the sun sank below the horizon. That's when their parents had told them about the baby, when they thought their family would increase from seven to eight. The brothers had been equally delighted, Gabriel joking that Cas wouldn't be the youngest anymore. Ever since then, the happiest few hours of Castiel's life, it had all gone wrong.
A knock at his door broke him from his trip down memory lane. He quickly tucked the photo inside his jacket as Michael leant in. "You still going out with your friends today?" he asked.
"Yes."
He nodded. "Dean and Adam'll be here soon. Want a lift?"
"Are you sure Dean won't mind?"
Michael scoffed. "You kidding? Dean would use anything as an excuse to drive his Baby more, even his friend's kid brother. He likes you anyway, so you won't need to beg."
"I'm not a kid," Cas insisted, but Michael ignored him. "Okay, fine. What time are they coming?"
"Fifteen minutes," his brother said, and was gone before Cas could protest. Rolling his eyes, he returned the photo to its place under his pillow then texted Anna to let her know he'd be early. He gathered up some books, stuffing them inside a bag and slinging it over his shoulder as he hurried downstairs to wait with Michael. Before he reached the bottom, however, he slowed, recognise the sharp but low tones of a fight. His fears were confirmed when Gabriel slipped out of the living room, Nintendo DS in hand, scowling.
"Again?" Castiel asked as he passed him on the stairs. Gabe merely grunted, and he sighed. "What about?"
"Who knows. Don't care."
Frowning after his brother, Cas decided to wait where he was rather than endure Michael and Lucifer's bickering. Resting his back against the banister he found himself looking at a photo of a grinning, gap-toothed boy with messy, dirty blonde hair and cheeky green-grey eyes. Blinking at it, he tilted his head to the side, trying to find the argumentative teen his brother had grown into somewhere beneath the youthful, chubby cheeks of the picture. He couldn't, and looked up at Raphael's picture at the top of the staircase. Despite the similar, youthful chubbiness, it was easy to see the similarities between three-year-old Raphael and nineteen-year-old Raphael, but only physically. His oldest brother had become a completely different person. Looking at Michael's picture though, Castiel wondered that very little had changed about him as he'd gotten older. He'd only really become leaner and more handsome – a hit with the ladies, according to Dean – and was still caring and fun to be with (when he wasn't fighting with Lucifer). Out of all of them, though, it was Gabriel who had changed the least. Despite being one year older than Cas, the chubbiness hadn't quite gone from his face, and he still acted like a four-year-old on a regular basis. He hated the fighting the most, but if they realised it Lucifer and Michael ignored it. Gabe had threatened to run away once, but Raphael had told them not to worry, that he was just overreacting. Nowadays, Cas wasn't so sure.
It had gone quiet in the living room, and Castiel listened harder in case he was missing something. After two minutes of silence though, Michael stepped out with a heavy expression. It changed to one of surprise when he looked up to see his brother sat halfway up the staircase. "Oh. There you are. Dean's here."
Getting up from his post, Cas was tempted to ask Michael what they'd been fighting about, but the way he almost ran out the door was a clear indication it was something to be forgotten about. Dean and Adam were leaning against Dean's nineteen sixty-seven Chevrolet Impala, also known as Baby, and Michael greeted them like there was nothing wrong. Castiel followed suit, and tried to look cheerful when he was finally noticed.
"Well if it isn't Little Novak," Dean grinned, ruffling his hair. "How you doing, Cas?"
"Hello Dean, Adam. I'm fine, thank you for asking."
Dean turned back to Michael, one eyebrow raised. "Dude, this kid's too polite. You sure he's your brother?"
Michael smirked. "We have a feeling he was adopted."
Cas rolled his eyes. "Thank you, Michael."
"Anyway, he's got something he wants to ask you, Dean."
"Oh he does?" Dean turned back to him expectantly, and Cas became a little nervous.
"Uh, well, I was wondering if it wouldn't be too much trouble for you to drop me off at the park? I'm meeting some friends there, and Michael said you wouldn't mind." To his relief, Dean agreed.
"Hey Michael," Adam said as they all piled (carefully) into Dean's car. "Guess who's decided to join us last minute?"
"Uh, Sam?"
"Nope."
"Jo?"
"Nuh-uh."
"Lisa?"
Adam grinned. "The one and only!"
They both laughed as Dean backed out onto the road, scowling and muttering darkly at them both. Castiel looked at his brother. "Who's Lisa?"
"You don't remember her?" He shook his head. "Nice girl, dark hair, kid brother called Ben." He was still confused. "Her and I were…"
"Oh." That Lisa.
"Having had her fun with Michael she's moving onto Dean," Adam told him. He yelped when Dean thumped him on the shoulder.
"Will you two cut it out?"
"Aw come on, Dean, it's only a bit of fun!" Michael insisted.
Adam rubbed his shoulder. "Yeah, and it's hardly surprising anyway."
"What? Why?" Dean demanded.
He rolled his eyes. "Dude, I bet even Cas could guess why." He glanced back at his friend's brother, and after thinking about it for a minute Castiel agreed.
"You and Michael are very similar," he told Dean.
"The hell we are!" was the response.
Michael sighed. "Dean, you can't keep saying that every time someone mentions it."
"The hell I can!"
Adam laughed and Cas squirmed in his seat, unable to tell if Dean was still angry or not. "Should I not have said anything?" he asked his brother quietly.
Michael smiled. "Don't worry about it, Cas. That's just Dean being stubborn."
"Oh." He'd heard about Dean's temper, and as such didn't want to be the one to set him off. Michael and Adam still seemed relaxed but he kept himself out of the conversation until they arrived at the park. Having thanked Dean and wished him good luck with Lisa (a comment Adam found puzzlingly hilarious) he went in search of his friends, soon finding them at the playground.
"Anna!" he called, waving when she turned. She waved back, jumping down from the slide and grabbing Chuck's attention. They met at the swings and settled on the roundabout.
"Did you bring them?" Anna asked eagerly. Cas nodded, pulling one of the books from his bag. She gasped as he set it between them, touching the hardback cover lightly with her fingertips. "Wow," she breathed. "It's so old."
"Not really," Chuck said, and Anna rolled her eyes.
"Fine. It's older than anything I own, then."
"It's the biggest one I could find," Castiel told them, pulling out two smaller paperbacks and holding them up for inspection.
"Have you read any?" Anna asked, and he shook his head.
"I thought we could take one each then combine our notes when we're done."
"Are you sure that would work?" Chuck asked, and when they looked at him questioningly he seemed to shrink back. "O-only, they look like they're different sizes, so we might finish them at different times, that's all," he gushed.
Cas shook his head. "Having looked at the font size, number of illustrations and overall page numbers, I think we will finish taking notes around the same time," he assured them. "Even so, to make it fair, I don't mind letting you two choose which book you would like to study."
"I want the big one!" Anna called, her hand shooting out to claim it before Chuck could even open his mouth. Not even bothering to put up a fight, he picked up the one closest to him, and Castiel nodded.
"Very well then. I must ask that you take good care of them, though. Raphael would go spare if he thought I'd damaged my mother's books."
"Of course, Cas," Anna nodded. "You can trust us."
He smiled. "I know." He retrieved a pad of paper and some pens from his bag, holding them out over the centre of the roundabout. "Shall we begin?"
The books were on angelology. Castiel's mother had been deeply interested in the study (part of the reason why all her children were named after angels), and her youngest son had 'inherited' her passion. The three of them had decided to make angels the topic of their latest English assignment, agreeing to gain as much information as they could in order to try and discern why the interpretation of angels warped from terrifying soldiers of God to beautiful women in floaty white dresses. The work was divided fairly equally: Cas was providing the books, Anna would collect and compile the final notes, and Chuck would type the whole thing up. They would each make their own notes, both from the angelology books and various sections of the Bible.
One hour later, Anna dropped her pen and stretched. "My back is killing me," she moaned.
Chuck snorted. "Come on Anna. Giving up after only one hour?"
"Not everyone spends hours on end hunched over their writing desks, Chuck. Some of us have better things to do."
"Perhaps we should take a break," Cas suggested. "You know, to give our minds a rest."
Chuck shrugged. "Fine. What shall we do?"
Anna leaned back, letting the sun touch her face. "I'm quite happy here," she murmured.
He glanced at the sky nervously. "Won't we burn?"
"Not likely. It's supposed to cloud over later," Cas assured him. He relented, and they let a comfortable silence settle itself around them. Five minutes later, Anna opened one eye and half-scrutinised her friend from where she sat.
"You're named after an angel, aren't you Cas?"
"The angel of Thursday."
"Why Thursday?"
He shifted, looking away a little. "Because I was born on a Thursday," he muttered.
"Wait, so all your brothers get named after archangels, and you get the lowly angel of Thursday?" Chuck asked incredulously.
Castiel shrugged. "It doesn't bother me," he admitted. "I like Thursdays."
"Yeah. But, aren't you, like, worried?"
He frowned. "What would I have to be worried about?"
"That your brothers are going to end up like their angelic counterparts," Chuck explained. "I mean, you know what happens to Lucifer –"
"Come on, Chuck, don't be stupid!" Anna laughed. "There's no way Cas' brother will end up like the Devil. Although, why anyone would name their child Lucifer is… curious. No offence to your parents, Cas."
"None taken," he mumbled, frowning. It was oddly ironic: that the two brothers who argued the most were named Michael and Lucifer. Granted, the arguments hadn't been lifelong – they'd even shared a room after Lucifer was born – but they had gradually been building up, occasionally becoming a tad physical. Until Chuck had mentioned it just then, he hadn't entertained the idea of them possibly hurting each other.
"Castiel!"
Cas blinked, focusing back on his friends' concerned faces. "Huh?"
"We're thinking we should split," Anna said. "It's going to rain soon. We don't want your mom's books to get damaged."
"Oh. Of course, good thinking." He pushed the troubling thoughts to the back of his head as they cleared up. Chuck was just being… well, he was always having these weird ideas. He claimed it was because he was a writer, but Anna told him it was because he had an overactive imagination.
It was still sunny when they left the park but by the time they reached Castiel's home twenty minutes later, the sky had indeed clouded over. He invited them both in, but Chuck was being angrily texted by his mother, so just Anna accepted. Gabriel was sat on the stairs when he opened the door, and he grinned at the unexpected visitor. "Well, looks like Cassie brought a date home!"
Anna shot him a wry smile. "Hi Gabriel."
He shielded his eyes. "Sorry Anna, I can't look at you if my little brother's already taken you."
Cas scowled at him. "Gabriel, don't you have someone else to annoy?"
His brother shrugged. "Raphael and Michael aren't here, and Lucifer started throwing things at me. I was just settling down to play Zelda when you two walked through the door."
At the wicked glint in his eye Cas groaned. "Leave us alone, Gabe," he warned, and quickly guided Anna past him.
Gabriel smirked. "Aw, such a spoilsport, Cas. Fine, fine, I'll torment you later."
Closing his bedroom door, Castiel sighed and apologised to Anna, who just laughed. "Relax, Cas, I like Gabriel. He's funny."
"Yeah, but you don't have to live with him." He dropped his bag on his bed. "Can I get you something to drink?"
"Do you have Coke?"
"I will go and check. Please, make yourself comfortable."
He scurried downstairs to the kitchen, stumbling involuntarily when he caught sight of Lucifer rooting through a cupboard for something to eat. He stared at his brother, Chuck's question ringing in his ears.
Suddenly, Lucifer stopped and turned, staring him dead in the eyes. "What?" he asked. Cas flushed, and he rolled his eyes. "Oh please. I can't steal if it's from my own home!"
"I… I wasn't…"
Lucifer snorted and pulled out a Mars bar. "Then stop gawking. Or are you worried about the effects of one chocolate bar on my health?" When Cas didn't reply, he snickered and pushed past, ruffling his hair jokingly.
He fixed the drinks up carefully, doing his best to drag his thoughts away from the War of Heaven, and hurried back upstairs to his room.
Anna was sat on his bed, gazing at something in her hands. She jerked her head up when Castiel opened the door, smiling when she saw it was him. "Why have I never seen this before Cas?" she asked.
"Seen what?" He set the drinks on his bedside table and looked at the photo she was indicating. He froze.
"How old are you in this picture anyway?" she chuckled. "You're cute, that's for sure!"
Any joy he may originally have felt at her calling him cute was too fleeting to be registered. He sat down stiffly beside her, resisting the temptation to rip the photo from her hands and stuff it back under his pillow. She'd seen it now, and he didn't want to tear it. Instead, he swallowed, and answered his question. "It was taken when I was seven."
"And your brothers?"
"Raphael was eleven, Michael ten, Lucifer nine, and Gabriel eight," he told her in a monotone.
Anna tilted her head, frowning. "Where was it taken? I don't recognise the background."
He ran a hand through his hair, already fairly scruffy from Lucifer's teasing. "A warehouse – look, Anna, I would appreciate it if you didn't go through my things."
She looked up, mildly horrified. "Oh, no, it's not like that! I sat down and it fell out from under your pillow. I swear, Cas, I didn't take it out on purpose." She handed it back to him and he took it carefully, absently stroking its edges as he stared at it, trying to see it how she might. "It's important, isn't it?" she asked softly. Castiel nodded. "Tell me?"
She waited while Cas thought of the words, worrying that he might sound 'corny' or childish. "It was… it was sort of the last thing we did as brothers," he began. "At least, the last time I remember us all enjoying each other's company. Raphael's friend, Uriel, took the picture, and gave us each a copy. I am the only one who kept it this long. When we returned home, our parents told us they were expecting a baby." He smiled sadly. "I still consider it to be the best day of my life."
"Eight years ago?" He nodded. "Cas, that's… Why? You're saying that nothing that good has happened since this photo was taken?"
"I suppose," he murmured, and reached for his drink. His hand stopped short when Anna grabbed his wrist, and he looked at her questioningly. There was something about the way she was staring at him, a little crease forming between her eyebrows, that made his chest tighten and his stomach flutter. She looked… anxious, almost upset even. Did she care so much about that statement, he wondered? Was she sad that he was –
They were broken apart by the sudden entrance of Michael, whose eyebrows shot up as he registered their presence. "Oh! Um, I'm… not interrupting something… am I?" They both mumbled that he wasn't, even though Cas was sure he was turning pink, and Michael relaxed. "Okay. Hey Anna."
"Hey," she replied meekly, tucking her red hair behind her ear.
"Don't mind me," the older Novak said as he went over to his desk. He rummaged around for something for two minutes, then headed downstairs again without a backwards glance.
Castiel let out a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding, pulling the photo from his trouser pocket and smoothing it out. "So that's who the other bed belongs to," Anna mused.
"Who did you think it belonged to?" Cas asked, reaching behind her to slip the picture back under his pillow.
"Don't know – Gabriel, maybe?"
He snorted. "Gabriel isn't neat."
"Yeah, now that you mention it."
"His and Lucifer's room is constantly a tip. Neither of them bothers to clean it, much to Raphael's frustration."
Anna shook her head. "You guys really need a girl in this place. How did your mom cope?"
"She…" Cas stopped, and looked down. He didn't want to admit it to anyone, but these days he struggled to remember his mother's face. There were photos in the house still, but unless he was looking directly at them his memories of her were kind of blurred or inaccurate. He knew she'd always had this little phrase she'd use when her sons got particularly messy, and he could see her with her hands on her hips, but for some reason the words escaped him. He thought it might have been something along the lines of "messy little angels" or perhaps "scruffy little demons". Either way, his failure to remember her in these moments upset him, as if by remembering her he could keep her alive somehow.
There was a gentle pressure on his shoulder, and he looked round to see Anna smiling sadly at him. "Sorry," she said. "I didn't think."
"You don't have to apologise," he told her firmly. "I just…" Just what? How could he explain this deepening sense of sadness and the feeling that his family were falling apart before him, and that he was powerless to stop it?
A couple of silent seconds passed, before Anna gently elbowed him in the side. "Come on," she said lightly. "Want to watch a film? I rented 'Leviathan' before meeting up with you guys."
Glad that she was no longer upset, Castiel agreed, and they spent the rest of the afternoon huddled side by side on his bed, first watching the movie on his laptop and then trying to explain possible subtexts of various parts to each other. They didn't know how late it got until Raphael appeared, asking if Anna was staying for dinner. She thanked him but said she couldn't, to Cas' disappointment, and left a few minutes later. With Anna gone, he suddenly felt as if he'd lost something. He went and sat himself in the living room, hoping to be able to read his book peacefully, but Michael and Lucifer were arguing over which sport to watch on TV and kept trying to rope him into it. The debate carried on into dinner, ending only when Raphael yelled at them both, after which the meal passed in an uncomfortable silence that even Gabriel couldn't break. Castiel was largely ignored. Finally, having cleaned up the plates, Cas decided that life at home was becoming increasingly dull and lonely.
"How was your day with Dean and Adam?" Castiel asked his brother when the latter finally came up for bed.
Michael grinned. "Well, Dean and Lisa couldn't keep their eyes off each other, so Adam and I left them to it. Mostly."
Being a younger brother, Cas recognised the twinkle in his eyes, one he hadn't seen in a very long time. "What did you do to them?"
"Nothing much," Michael said with a smirk. "Threw leaves over them, brought them ice cream, sang songs behind their backs. You know – the usual." He didn't know, but rather than saying so, Cas returned to his book. "How was your day with your friends?"
"Enjoyable," he said. "We found the books I chose for our project to be very helpful, and we made a considerable amount of notes in one hour."
"Right," Michael said slowly. "Did you do anything… you know. Fun?"
Cas scowled at him. "It was fun." His brother laughed.
"If you say so. What were you studying then?"
He swallowed, averting his gaze. "Angelology," he muttered. When he dared to look up, concerned about the depth the silence was gaining, he was surprised to see Michael sat on the edge of his bed, watching him from across the space with a mixed expression of concern and sadness.
"You used mother's books?" he asked, a half-statement really. Cas gave a slight nod and heard him sigh. "Cas, it's been eight years."
"I know," he said softly. "Anna says I 'hold on' to things."
"Why, though?"
He shrugged, wishing he could bury himself deep into the pages of his book or underneath his bed covers. "She was passionate about it. I couldn't let that passion just… disappear." He shifted uncomfortably, feeling the colour rise in his cheeks. "Besides, you and the others never wanted to talk about her," he mumbled on the end.
"What?" Michael had barely heard him. "What makes you say that?" Castiel shrugged, muttering something about "avoidance" and "father", and he understood. "You were worried about upsetting Father. I see."
"Why did he leave, Michael?" he asked quietly, staring forlornly at the floor. "Was it… was it something I said?"
"No!" Michael said adamantly, rising from his bed to sit on Castiel's. "Of course it wasn't Cas – how could you think that? Listen." He waited until his brother looked up, blue eyes deep with guilt. "Father left because he couldn't deal with it, okay? First mother, then the baby…"
"Johanna."
He swallowed. "Right. Well, it was too much for him, I guess. And you know how people deal with grief in their own way."
"Our father decided to turn to his bottles and abandon his sons."
"Castiel!"
"It's true, Michael!" the younger brother argued, staring him squarely in the eyes. "If he really cared about anyone besides himself, why didn't he stay and look after us?" Michael looked away, unable to even admit that he didn't know. He understood why Castiel was angry, but he himself had never been anything but obedient to their father. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't hate him. They sat in silence, quietly playing chase with their own thoughts, until Castiel hugged his knees, asking quietly, "Is he dead?"
Michael frowned and shook his head. "No," he said, hoping he sounded more confident about that than he felt.
Cas huffed. "How can you be so sure?"
"Remember when you broke your wrist?" Castiel frowned. "You were three at the time. Lucifer had taken you and Gabriel out to the tree-house but the branch broke. While Mother took you to A&E, Father sat Raphael and me down and told us that he expected us to look after you when he wasn't around." Michael nodded. "I have always tried my best to keep you safe since that day. In return, Father promised he would never leave us, Cas, and I still believe him. He'll return one day. Wait and see."
Though he smiled at his younger brother, Castiel just rested his chin on his drawn-up knees, still looking troubled. "If you're supposed to be looking after us, why do you and Lucifer keep fighting?"
Michael sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We just wind each other up I suppose."
"You never used to."
He nodded. "Not long after Father left, Raphael was trying to get Lucifer to go to bed. He didn't want to though, and made a nasty comment about him that I didn't approve of."
"What did he say?"
"That Raphael couldn't replace our father because he was adopted."
Castiel felt his jaw go slack, eyes widening involuntarily. The fact that he was adopted was a sensitive subject for Raphael, and to have Lucifer throw it back in his face like that must have been hard. He had never been told this story. "He did?"
Michael nodded. "I think he may just have been tired and upset, but that was the first time we went to bed angry at each other. Since then, things have… escalated, I guess. I still love him, Cas," he added. "Don't think that I don't."
Wondering if that love went deeper than a simple sentence, or even if it was reciprocated, Castiel simply nodded and claimed he was tired. He was awake long after Michael turned out the lights, though, thought whirling around a few significant people (the usual suspects, it seemed): Michael, Lucifer, his father, and Anna. His final thoughts were always on Anna, and when he finally drifted off to sleep it was with a familiar, dull-but-hard ache in his chest.
At school, his day started with a locker to the face. Well, more accurately, his face slammed into the locker after a deliberate shove, with a few choice words to accompany it. He repressed a groan, slinging a sharp glare over his shoulder at the culprit: a stocky, blonde haired girl named Hester, whom somehow he'd managed to annoy by not being her friend. It was childish, and after listening to Gabriel babble incessantly about a particularly farfetched dream he'd had last night during the journey to school, Castiel was not in the mood for a fight.
He turned to face Hester with a sigh, hoping she'd get the message. "What do you want, Hester?"
She smirked. "Hey Castiel, your books are on the floor."
"No they're not," he said, having fallen for the old shoe-lace slap enough in his first year. Without warning though, Hester landed a round-house kick into his side, throwing him back against the lockers and making him drop his book bag in the process.
"Yes they are."
A few nearby students were starting to pay attention. Some loudly commented on Hester's un-ladylike behaviour, others called for a fight, but most of them just stared and whispered. Scowling at her, Castiel stepped forward to throw his own punch, but his heart wasn't in it and she had him on the floor in seconds. The crowd gasped and jeered, but nobody mentioned calling a teacher. Cas realised he would have a small bump on the back of his head for a while, not to mention a pretty bruise from where she'd kicked, and managed to find the time to worry about Anna's reaction. He blinked back to reality when he became aware of somebody else holding Hester up against the lockers – another girl, shorter and with long, dark brown hair. "Listen sugar," she was saying, "I enjoy playing with the underdogs as much as the next psycho-bitch but do yourself a favour and leave this nerd alone, okay?"
Hester didn't seem to know whether to be pissed off or scared. "What are you talking about?" she asked incredulously.
"I'm talking about you taking your cherry pie ass somewhere else before I decide to lay into it," she drawled, adding darkly, "I love cherry pie."eHesHeshhfkd Burning glares were exchanged before Hester pushed her off, skulking away without another word. That was when the girl turned to look down at Castiel, who was in the process of picking himself up off the floor, and smiled wickedly at him. "Well well, Clarence – not lost your mojo, have you?"
Cas stood up stiffly, brushing down his sleeves. "Hello Meg." Meg Masters was Lucifer's girlfriend. Small in stature, she made up for it with what Lucifer called a 'hell-hound' attitude, and after hearing about some of the things she'd done to people she didn't like Castiel was glad to be in her good books. Granted, it had originally been only because he was her boyfriend's brother, but lately Meg admitted to liking Castiel – hence the name Clarence. It was, he worked out, her way of showing him affection. That and protecting him when he needed it.
Watching him as he picked up his bag, Meg grinned. "What, no thank you for saving your hide just now? Or you just embarrassed about being beaten up and saved by two girls?"
He straightened up, the world spinning slightly as he did so. "Thank you for intervening."
"Aw no worries, angel, I've been looking for an excuse to hit her for a while." She looked him up and down. "Speaking of which, how come you weren't hitting back for once?" He rolled his eyes, rubbing his side, and Meg smirked. "Don't tell me you've got a thing about not hitting girls?"
Cas was about to ask her to leave him alone when out of nowhere his brother appeared. "Meg, I thought we agreed not to torture my kid brother unless I was around?" he chastised, slipping an arm over her shoulders.
"I'm not a kid," Cas grumbled, but he was ignored.
Meg pouted. "Actually I was doing the kid a favour," she told him. "Tell him Clarence."
When Lucifer raised an eyebrow at him expectantly, Castiel sighed. "I wasn't fighting back, so Meg… 'stepped in' –"
"Graciously," she added with a wink.
"…on my behalf."
"And you weren't fighting back like we taught you because?"
"Gabriel sort of gave me a headache this morning. I'm not in the mood for fighting."
Lucifer nodded. "Who was it?"
"Hester."
He rolled his eyes. "Bitch has issues."
"Tell me about it," Meg agreed.
"Did he appreciate your efforts?" he asked her.
"He said 'thank you' and didn't look too embarrassed."
"Good enough for me then." At that, they promptly started making out, Lucifer pressing her against the lockers where Hester had been held just a couple of minutes ago, both ignoring Castiel's pleas for them to stop. Luckily, he caught sight of Anna down the hall, and after muttering a quick goodbye (and another thank you for good measure) he practically ran to meet her. She was watching the scene with curiosity, and pointed to the lip-locked couple when he caught up.
"Isn't that your brother?"
Flushing a little, he nodded. "I'm afraid so."
"With… Meg Masters?"
"Yes."
Anna pulled a face. "Ew."
"Slight understatement," he muttered, and headed off to first lesson with her as quickly as they could. Chuck was there waiting for them, and that hour was spent discussing the outline of their angelology project whilst hurriedly catching up with the work they were really meant to be doing: a poem by English poet Wilfred Owen, something to do with the First World War. By the time lunch rolled around, they were still talking about the project, although Chuck was drifting off on tangents about making up some angel characters for the big novel he was supposedly writing. When he left to try and grab a computer in the library for research (though he didn't say which project that research would go towards), Castiel was left in companionable silence with Anna, desperately trying not to stare at her hair.
Five minutes into this silence, Gabriel plopped himself opposite them where Chuck had vacated his seat. "Hey lovebirds." Both of them flushed red and mumbled protests, but he ignored them. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything – although really it doesn't look like I am – but I just need to have a word with my darling little brother here."
Castiel scowled. "What do you want, Gabriel?"
"To tell you that Raphael said he can't take you and Anna to the parlour on Friday." As his brother's face became positively horrified, Gabriel raised his eyebrows. "Oh," he said slowly. "You haven't asked her yet?" Cas' brain seemed to have gone into meltdown, and he grinned. "Well. You can ask her once you've finished doing that fish impression. Very good, by the way! Laters!" And as quickly as he'd come, Gabriel was gone.
Once he'd finally finished processing what Gabriel had just done, Cas turned to Anna to explain. "A-Anna, I –"
"The ice cream parlour by Crowley's All-Store?"
"Um – I guess."
"Friday after school?"
He rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh, well, yes. That is, if you're available –"
"I am."
There was a pause while he tried to regain his composure. "Good," he sputtered, and Anna smiled.
"So we'll each bring our notes and books, right?"
For a minute, Castiel was relieved – relieved that Anna didn't think he'd chickened out on asking her for a date, and that his brother had tried to set them up in a fairly embarrassing way. And yet, he was also disappointed – disappointed that she'd assumed it wasn't a date, and that he wouldn't be asking her on one. So while his shoulders relaxed and he agreed quite happily, really, he could already imagine Gabriel kicking him between the eyes.
Castiel didn't see Gabriel again until dinner. Michael said he'd been given a detention for prank-trapping the boys' toilets, so not only did Cas have to stew in his own irritation without his intended target, he had to put up with the uncomfortable silence that seemed to generate whenever Michael and Lucifer were doing their best to get along. Aside from the occasional bickering over music, it was blessedly silent for once, and he eventually unwound himself from the unease between them. Still, he sent Gabriel a pretty ferocious glare when he sat down for dinner – one that nobody could miss.
"Uh-oh, Gabe," Lucifer said as his brother sat down. "Looks like Cas has it in for you too."
Gabriel finally noticed Castiel's evil look and cringed. "Ah – did you get caught in the trap as well Cas?"
"This is not about the booby trap, Gabriel."
"Me taking some of your lunch money then?"
He'd noticed that, but it didn't bother him. "No."
"The mushy peas I put in your shoes?"
"The what?"
"Nothingnevermind."
"You set me up with Anna!" he cried, and everyone at the table paused with their food half-way to their mouths. Lucifer snorted.
"About time!" he declared, slapping Gabriel a high-five. "How'd you do it, man?"
Cas tried to intervene. "It's not –"
"Well, I set them aside at lunchtime," Gabe began, switching from 'oh-shit-I've-been-found-out' mode to 'I'm-a-genius-storyteller' mode. "There was already a bit of sexual tension in the air when I got there –"
"There was not!"
"– so I simply made Miss Milton aware of the fact that Master Novak had previously expressed interest in taking her beautiful young self to sample the delicacies of the local ice cream parlour. And possibly declaring his love for her."
"I said that last year! And I never even mentioned the parlour –"
"Did she accept?" Michael asked.
"What?"
"You did go with the flow, didn't you Cas?" Gabe asked. "Otherwise my hard work shall have all been for nothing."
Looking round at the table, and seeing that all eyes (even Raphael's) were on him, Castiel sighed in defeat. "We're going to the ice cream parlour on Friday –"
Gabriel whooped. "I am Cupid!"
"…to continue our English project," Cas finished, allowing a small smile to show as his brother stared at him in disbelief.
"Aw come on!" he wailed.
Lucifer snickered. "Good job, Cupid."
"It was a flawless plan! With anyone else, it would have worked for sure!"
"Yeah, yeah. Perhaps you should just stick to being the Trickster."
"Ah yes," Raphael said. "About that, Gabriel." The 'oh-shit' persona returned, and the rest of dinner was spent listening to Raphael and Gabriel argue about the severity of booby-trapping the boys' toilets, with Lucifer supporting Gabriel and Michael offering comment to either aid Raphael or provide a bit of wit to placate him. Either way, Castiel was once again ignored, until it came to clearing up and Michael questioned him about Anna.
"We're working on an English project together, with Chuck," he explained, slipping the plates into the dishwasher to avoid looking his brother in the eye.
Michael nodded. "But, you do like her, don't you?"
Cas shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "We're friends."
"Castiel."
He sighed, closing the door and finally facing his brother. "Yes," he mumbled. "I might… like her."
"But you turned Gabriel's opportunity for a date into a study session because…"
"Because she doesn't see me that way," he said, shuffling his feet.
Michael rolled his eyes. "And how do you know that?"
"Anna thought I was inviting her to the parlour for a study session. She was the one who suggested bringing our notes. If she wanted to go on a date with me, would she really have mentioned school work?"
Michael shrugged. "Fair enough. But you could still have asked."
He shook his head. "She would have turned me down."
"You don't know that."
"I do now."
"Then at least make your feelings known."
Cas gulped, the idea of doing so making him nervous. "What if I can't? Or if she rejects me?"
His brother laid a hand on his shoulder. "Then at least you tried, and never spent your whole time together not knowing."
He frowned. "That doesn't sound very satisfying."
Michael chuckled. "It's not, but it's better than letting her think you're not interested when she may be as well. It's about taking risks, Cas. Sometimes you play it too safe."
He left Castiel to ponder over the statement, along with the promise of a ride on the actual day. His evening ended with some light teasing from Lucifer and an endless stream of thoughts revolving around Anna, swerving from ways to cancel the 'date' altogether to her reaction upon him telling her how he felt. He didn't remember falling asleep in the early hours of the morning.
"What have you gone and done now?"
"Why do you always assume I've done something wrong?"
"Because you usually have."
"Bullshit, Gabe gets into just as much trouble as I do! And since when we were you a holy saint?"
"You said something, he stormed off. That makes it your fault."
"Well how was I supposed to know he'd react like that?"
"You could have just kept your mouth shut for once."
"Ah – but then we wouldn't know something was wrong."
"That doesn't make it any better!"
"Oh get off your high horse, Mikey."
"Don't fucking call me that!"
"Why, does it annoy you?"
"You bloody annoy me!"
"Ditto."
"Well there's something we agree on. Raphael will be thrilled!"
"Where are you – whoa, wait a sec! You're allowed to talk to him but I'm not?"
"Not listening anymore, Luci!"
"You're an asshole!"
From underneath his pillow, Castiel heard a faint knock. "Cas? You okay?" He heard the handle turn in the door, and reluctantly pulled himself into a sitting position as Michael let himself in. He sat next to him on the bed, giving him a light-hearted smile. "Don't listen to Luci. You know he can be a jerk sometimes."
Cas didn't look at him. "It wasn't something Lucifer said."
"No? What's up then?"
Michael listened to how Castiel's date with Anna hadn't gone according to plan. He'd taken his notes anyway, with the intention of suggesting they didn't have to get them out. Unfortunately, he'd lacked the courage to tell her he didn't want to study, and that was what they had done. Then their ice cream had arrived, and the waiter had dropped it over Castiel's work. Then Chuck had arrived, effectively ruining any chance Cas might have had to properly ask Anna out. Anna's father had called her early demanding she come home, and after awkwardly sitting in on the argument he then had to listen to Anna rant about how controlling he was before she left with just a "See ya, Cas," and nothing more. Chuck had insisted on walking home with him, talking non-stop about a girl in philosophy class whom he thought he liked but was too chicken to ask out.
"Oh, the irony," Michael snorted. Cas nodded, remembering also how Chuck had insisted on reminding him about the War in Heaven. "So what did Lucifer say, exactly?"
Cas shrugged. "He just inquired if Anna said no."
His brother rolled his eyes. "He had to ask as soon as you walked through the door, didn't he? Well look, he won't say anything like that again. I'll make sure Gabe and Raphael don't either, okay?"
"Thank you Michael."
He patted him on the back. "I'm sorry things didn't go so well. Maybe next time, hey?"
"If there is a next time," Cas replied glumly.
"Hey, you have to try again," Michael insisted. "And I mean really try this time, Cas. No chickening out or letting people get in the way, alright?"
After that, Michael left him alone. Castiel spared a glance for his bag, thinking of the ruined notes inside of it. He shouldn't have taken them; perhaps then Anna wouldn't have seen it as a study session, and they may have been able to get Chuck to leave them alone. Perhaps then it wouldn't have mattered that she had to leave early, and maybe she would've confided in him rather than ranted at him about her troubles. With a sigh, he flopped back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling as another argument between his brothers started downstairs. He knew that Raphael stayed longer at college on Fridays, and Gabriel was probably at Balthazar's to avoid listening to the disputes. He couldn't hang out with Anna now, and he didn't want to see Chuck again, but the last thing he was going to do was land himself in the middle of a Michael-Lucifer fight.
Hearing a door slam close by, Castiel sighed, reaching down and pulling the angelology book from his bag (mercifully, the ice cream had missed it completely). Settling himself against his pillows, he delved into the world of myth and legend, hoping the angels would come to his aid and help him escape.
Lucifer scowled at his laptop, waiting impatiently for the home screen to load. Michael had pissed him off – again. He hadn't meant to upset Castiel like that, but the way his brother was going on and on about it anyone would think he'd sabotaged the date himself! And how could he apologise if the kid didn't want to talk to him? Saint Michael had made it clear he wasn't even allowed to do so anyway, so what the hell was he supposed to do? Send a telepathic message? He knew he'd get slated for doing it by email or text as well, but did Michael have a solution? No, of course not!
The smoke was still blowing from his ears when Alistair logged onto Skype. Sometimes Lucifer wondered why he bothered with Alistair – the guy was sadistic, unfriendly, and kind of ugly too. Not to mention he would do anything Lucifer wanted him to, which was sickening in itself. Although, he was a good way to vent out his current frustration, so he quickly messaged him about the unfairness of being treated like a delinquent at home as well as in school. Alistair offered to 'make Michael regret it', to which Lucifer furiously shot him down.
Lucifer
You lay a finger on my bro and I'll make you wish you'd never been born.
Alistair
But you just said you hated him!
Lucifer
Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna let you hurt him.
Alistair
Wth? How does that work?
Lucifer frowned, sighing heavily and cursing under his breath as he realised what the answer to that actually was. It wasn't just Michael, though. If anyone hurt any of his brothers, he'd gladly take them to Hell and back (figuratively speaking). Especially Castiel, he thought as he closed the conversation window. He might constantly tease and laugh at him, but his kid brother was something of a loner. Beyond that chick Anna and the nerdy guy with glasses, Cas didn't have any other friends. It was why Lucifer had taught him how to fight, why he and Meg had threatened that psycho Hester after the locker incident. Thinking about it, Lucifer pitied his younger brother for a second, and considered going next door to give him a proper apology.
And that's when the part of his brain that did everything it could to piss Michael off kicked in, warning him that an apology would be like handing his pride over on a golden plate. No way was he going to stand seeing that smug look of approval on his brother's face! He had an image to maintain, and despite Raphael's insistence that the name Lucifer meant 'morning star', he preferred the more common association of the Devil. After all, it gave him something to live up to, right?