Author's Notes: Hey guys, here is another AkaFuri story!
It's my seubmission for the akfrcontest,
if you have a tumblr go check the other works out there! They are beautiful!
"Mother."
"Yes Sei-chan?"
"Why do you like this painting so much?"
"It was a present of your father, love."
"Isn't it just our garden, mother?"
"Yes, it is."
"Why can't you go outside?"
"…"
xoxoxoxooxoxoxox
Months later a little red haired boy was staring at this exact painting. His hands were curled around the frame and hiccups were drowning his breaths. He sniffled as he thought about his mother and how she would look at this painting for hours straight on, her hand stroking over his head and her breaths flat but calming. He had known months before that her death was near. It had been visible in his otherwise stoic father's eyes, in the pain that always overtook the servants' voices when they spoke about his mother. He had known for months yet his mother never uttered those words around him, never answered his question about why she wouldn't go outside.
It had been selfish of him to ask her but he had wanted to hear it from her. To know for sure that she also knew about her unchangeable destiny. Another sob erupted from his small body as he stared at the painting. He tried to figure out what had been so capturing about this painting, that solely contained a perfect duplicate of their garden. The spot his mother always used to sit with the roses she grew as a hobby. He had often been with her, watched her working at her rose bushes or playing basketball but then her illness had captured her inside the house -never letting go of her.
He wiped with his sleeve over his eyes and snotty nose -an antic his father would loath. After releasing a last shuddering breath, he let go with one hand of the frame and stroked over the painting -the rose bushes his mother loved to watch- felt the little bumps of the oil painting, rough yet smooth surface. It was like it tried to escape its canvas and be freed like its real self. A sniffle escaped his nose.
He had to stop crying, his father wasn't crying either and Akashi knew that he had to stop too. An Akashi had to be strong, face the reality with a straight spine and accept what life had prepared for them, be always at the top and learn everything and anything. Yet in the end another sob escaped his quivering lips as he once again clung to the painting. He wanted it to be his, he wanted to keep what was left from his mother, what she loved the most between the many furniture they owned. He had to ask his father hadn't he? He had to ask him before taking anything from the room he had shared with his mother. He coughed as to get rid of the cries and hiccups, he couldn't -wouldn't dare- to face his father this way.
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"Father."
"Yes, Seijuurou?"
"May I keep the painting mother loved?"
"…"
"I will take good care of it."
"…"
"I give my word, father. I promise no harm will happen to this painting."
"You may Seijuurou. Ask Akira to assist you."
"Thank you, father."
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The painting was hung at the opposite of his bed, so that Akashi could watch it while lying in his bed. With its rich red and green colours it looked like the painting itself lived, like the garden was transported to the four walls in Akashi's room. A wavy breath escaped his lips when their servant Akira finally left his room. The small boy looked up to the painting.
Up to that moment he had never studied the painting more than necessary. His pained heart had been in his way and to feel his mother's warmth on her final days had been more important to him. The painting was hung too high for him too reach, so he couldn't stroke the surface, wasn't able to see clearly the bumps that were created when the oil paint had more than one layer. He took some steps back and regarded the picture, tried to focus on each aspect. Mostly it really was just their garden. Soft green grass surrounded by rose bushes, in the middle was the white table and chairs they used when drinking tea. There wasn't any difference but then…
Akashi squinted his eyes when he saw that someone was sitting on one of the chairs. The person's back was turned to the viewer and he was small, really small, from what Akashi could guess a boy just his age. This little boy had short hazel hair and rather plain clothes. He had to look out of place in that painting but it was quite the opposite. The boy seemed to melt into the painting. Him being there didn't disturb the garden itself nor did it look out of place, if anything, he gave this painting more live than it already had.
Akashi stepped closer but soon enough realised it wouldn't help. The only thing happening was that he had a worse view on the painting. So he took some steps back. Maybe, maybe he had to wait to see that boy one day. Now he was too small to see every detail of the high hung up painting, but soon enough, when he grew he would be able to see it. He just had to have patience.
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"Here, take my hand." A boy said, a hand was reached out to Akashi as he lay in his bed. He looked up into soft hazel eyes. "I will show you around."
The little boy blinked and tried to make sense out of the situation. What was the other doing in his room? How did he get inside? Even though those questions plagued his mind, the only thing Akashi did was taking the boy's hand. He was pulled forward and could feel a little hop in his heart -fear- but he didn't let go. There was a strange sensation around him before he felt wind graze his skin, he slowly opened his eyes and looked around. He was in his garden, the rich green of the grass and rose bushes surrounded him. His naked feet could feel the soft but itchy grass beneath him, he had never been barefoot outside of his house, he never walked around barefoot. It just wasn't something that was allowed to do. Yet in that moment he didn't question it. He didn't let go of the hand that pulled him forward until he was standing in front of a chair.
"Come sit with me." It was a nice voice and the smile that was presented to him let Akashi's little heart waver. Never had any other child smiled so nicely and warm towards him -never.
Without hesitating he climbed that chair up and seated himself at the table. His feet were dangling down, weren't able to reach the ground beneath him.
That was all that happened. He sat there with the boy smiling at him and bouncing up and down in his seat. It was nice, it was calming to sit in the garden and let the wind tousle his hair, graze his naked feet and arms. That someone else was sitting with him was all the more wanted. A small fond look tugged at the rims of his eyes as he watched the other -studied him.
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The next day the little boy woke up in his bed. He could clearly see that he had moved around while sleeping and wondered how that could have happened. He always had been a calm sleeper, but he just shrugged and slid down his bed. He had to be ready before Akira would take him to his classes.
There was just a small tug at the back of his mind about a dream, a dream that had felt more than just real.
His gaze shifted shortly to the painting and he could swear that there was a difference about how the boy sat in the painting, but to be sure he needed to see it from closer. He damned his small body as he pulled his last clothes on and then made his bed while waiting for his servant to arrive.
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That night the boy watched the painting for a long time before he switched the light on his bedside off. He could understand why his mother had done exactly that. The painting calmed his crowded mind down, let the ghosts of his lessons -his overly strict tutor- disappear. He let out a small breath as he leaned back in his pillow and tugged the blanket up to his nose. He closed his eyes and tried to think of nothing. There was just too much he thought about while awake, he just wanted his brain to stop when he slept.
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"Take my hand." This time Akashi didn't wait for the boy to speak further. He just reached out and curled his small fingers around the other's small hand. He wanted to be taken outside, wanted to see and feel the grass under his feet.
Once again he was pulled forward suddenly but this time Akashi didn't close his eyes, he kept them open, saw the golden little star-like lights that surrounded both of their bodies until they disappeared as soon as they arrived at the garden. The wind around him was fresh and Akashi inhaled deeply, but didn't let go of the boy's hand. The other boy once again directed them towards the table and chairs.
"Come sit with me." He smiled and there was such a nice light in those hazel eyes.
Akashi did as he was told climbed up and sat down once again looking over the table to the other, thousands of questions marking his brain. How did he make this? How did they end up in the garden? Who was this boy? But somehow none of those questions left his mouth, he didn't utter them. After all it was not necessary to know these things when that boy was smiling so nicely towards him.
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The day after Akashi once again woke up in a messy bed. He jumped out of his bed and made his bed before he walked towards the painting. He was seeing the garden in his dreams and a boy -yet what they did was a mystery. Was it this boy? He wanted to know, his childish mind hoped that this boy existed somewhere, that he was just as real as his garden. He squinted his eyes as he looked up, he was sure that the boy was different than before. But he shrugged it off again, his father would proclaim him a lunatic if he knew the thoughts of his son. He heard a knock at his door.
"Akashi-san? Are you ready to leave?"
The little boy's eyes widened, he had never before forgotten to dress after waking up.
"Just a moment." He nearly shouted -just nearly- and began to dress hastily.
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After returning home a long sigh left the exhausted little boy's lips. It was hard -really hard- even though the death of his mother lay a time back. Weeks, months had passed and Akashi began to feel in his bones and mind that his father was as sad as him yet he seemed to cope with it differently . His otherwise emotionless face was now just a frown nearly a grimace when Akashi looked at him. His father was less patient with his servants and was always prone to fire them by the littles mistake. He also had ordered for more lessons for Akashi, made him go to classes learn more and more. Straighten his posture, learn antics, languages, playing musical instruments and how to behave like a real Akashi heir.
It was enough the little boy couldn't feel a bone in his body anymore as he sat on his bed. There was this spreading numbness that wouldn't let go of his limbs and mind. It felt cold to just live and do as he was told, it was like he wasn't a person but a puppet on strings. Be best. Do better. Stay on the top.Thoughts which never let go of the little boy's mind. He released a huff. At least he had no time to think about the death of his mother anymore, had no time to grief more than necessary. He let his body slump to the side on his bed and closed his eyes. He was so tired…
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"Take my hand." Akashi opened his eyes and slowly straightened up to a sitting position. He was still in his every day clothing, had his good trousers and shirt on. Even his backpack was still on his back. He looked confused through his room. Had he fallen asleep? He looked then back to the boy, who was standing in front of him, as always plain clothes and a smile embed in that face adorned with hazel eyes.
"Will you come with me?" The red haired boy hesitated just a split second before he curled once again his hand around the other's and then he was pulled forward into those little stars. Away and away from those four walls, which kept his mind chained to a reality he didn't want to witness. They were once again at the garden, the boy was pulling him to the chairs but then Akashi stopped. Felt how the other tugged once at his hand before he turned around to look at Akashi. Confusion was in those hazel eyes as he turned around fully.
"Are you feeling okay?" Was what left the boy's mouth and Akashi stared at him, fighting with himself before a little sob escaped his throat.
"Hey. Hey." he felt how his hand was released. Akashi put his own face in his palms -cried into his hands. It was embarrassing to cry in front of this boy, yet he couldn't stop the tears from flowing.
"Everything's fine." Those were the words that were uttered before Akashi felt arms around him, little arms that pulled him into warm embrace, Akashi didn't fight it off, didn't say anything as he cried and the boy held him.
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His eyes fluttered open and then he straightened up in his bed. When he looked down on his blanket he could see wet spots and when he wiped over his face he noticed that there were tears on his cheeks and eyes. He wondered for a short moment, why those dreams were filled with this garden and boy but yet he could never remember what happened in those dreams. As he looked down at himself he saw that he had slept in his good clothing. A sigh left his mouth before he changed into his bed wear and disappeared under his blanket. He was still so tired and tomorrow would be at least as tiresome. He needed his rest for the upcoming day.
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Waking up after a dreamless night felt foreign to the boy and also an empty feeling was spreading in his chest yet he didn't question it as he changed for his day. Soon he would graduate Elementary school. He had to speak with his father about his future when getting home again.
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"I have assigned you to Teiko, Seijuurou."
"Yes father."
"I expect success in your new school as well. Do never forget, Seijuurou. An Akashi's way is absolute, there is no room for losses and regret."
"Yes father."
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Many months later the boy was at his first day in his middle school. The building was tall and everything was new yet Akashi didn't lose track of anything, was on point everywhere. The first day when looking through the many clubs at his school the basketball club fell to his eyes. Little memories of his days with his mother flashed up in his mind, reminding him of his happier days when he would play with his mother. A smile hushed over his face. It had been far easier with her around. He knew that he would join the basketball club.
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"Father, I decided to join the basketball club in Teiko."
"Did you think about this well?"
"Yes father, I will not neglect my studies."
"Very well. Do as you please. As long as you do not forget the importance of your studies."
"Yes father."
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That day Akashi had a smile on his face, a genuine one -not just polite- a smile that was reserved for moments he felt good. He set down his back before readying himself for bed. His day had ended once again, the private lessons taken, studies for his school done and also the application for the basketball club filled. He could return to bed and get some rest.
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"Take my hand." The boy was standing in front of him, just as every night. His hand stretched out towards Akashi and a smile on his lips.
For months, since that painting was hanging on the wall. Akashi saw this boy in his dreams and if he wasn't mistaken then he grew just as him. His prior babyish face was taking shape and Akashi could clearly see that they stayed the same age. The boy was growing alongside him, every night a little more. It was by now normal for him to reach out and take that hand, be lead to the garden and stay there in silence. Listening to the wind and the silent whispers of the rustling rose bushes.
"Come sit with me."
Akashi hadn't have to climb the chair up anymore. He could sit without concern, his feet could touch the ground and as he looked to the other boy he was sure he could capture those hands in his grasp if he reached over. Up until now the boy was the one to speak and Akashi stayed silent. He asked him to take his hand and to sit with him. After that they had never exchanged any words. But this time it was different Akashi looked directly into the boy's eyes as he spoke up.
"I am in middle school now." He said not knowing why this was important enough to break the comfortable silence they shared for months now.
"Really? Me too!" The boy was beaming as he uttered those words. "Which school are you going to?"
"Teiko." Akashi replied and smiled towards the boy.
But then he noticed something, a waver in the other boy's smiling face. He looked down onto his hands.
"Oh, ok." Was what left the boy's lips before he looked up. There was a smile present but this time it looked cracked, nearly sad.
Akashi couldn't quite decipher why that would happen, why the boy would be sad but as he was about to ask-
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The new day broke and Akashi wondered what that ache in his chest area was. But as always he shrugged it off and began to dress.
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It didn't surprise Akashi that he was called out for the first string in his team. He didn't see it as something special. It had just been him training. If he wanted to get better, to train and being confident was the key. That was what he had learned from his father for years and had seen himself as each of his studies succeeded when he gave his best and more.
He had been training for many months at the first string gym but one day another boy caught his eye. He had sky blue hair and looked rather weak compared to the other people in the third string. Yet what Akashi saw in him was potential. He had potential yet his ability was somehow different from what he knew of the other players. The way he passed was near brilliant and if the boy concentrated on that more he could easily get into the first string.
So Akashi decided to speak to that boy -that he did short after, helped the boy out so that he was accepted to the first string.
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"Take my hand." As always Akashi complied and ended up in his garden.
However this time he didn't feel the other tug him to the table. He surprisingly let go of Akashi's hand. There was an awkward silence between them and for the first time since this boy -by now teen- visited in his dreams Akashi felt some kind of uneasiness. He watched the other's back for a while before he decided to take the lead this time.
"Shall we sit at the table, or would you like to do something else." This was the first time Akashi asked the other, it was the first time that he offered anything. And he saw a shift in the teen's body as he turned around swiftly and smiled towards Akashi. His eyes were sparkling in happiness as he nodded.
"Nodding doesn't answer my question." Akashi said smiling and he saw a sweet blush on the teen's face as he looked to the side shortly and then again to Akashi.
"I… Uhm… I would like to watch the rose bushes."
The hesitating way of speaking didn't suit the otherwise happy teen's behaviour. Normally he was the one to pull him around until they were seated at the table. Was it just Akashi or was the boy's behaviour changing?
"Very well." Akashi smiled and offered his hand. "We shall go to the roses."
And it was the most wonderful feeling as the other took his hand and let himself be lead to the roses. Akashi didn't let go of the teen even as they stood there and then crouched down as to look at those roses. It didn't occur to him that it could be wrong to just pick a rose from that bush his mother so lovingly grew. He chose the most beautiful one, he could find and picked it. After standing up he gave it to the teen. Who blushed at him as he accepted that gift.
"Thank you." He muttered and Akashi could see the pink blush at the tip of his ears and somehow Akashi knew that he was just the same.
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After waking up Akashi looked at the painting on his wall. He was taller compared to his time in elementary school and could see by now every detail on that painting. For an instance he also knew now that he was not going crazy. There was always a shift in the body of the sitting person in that painting. It was like he slowly turned around, bit by bit, every day a little more. Maybe some day Akashi would be able to see his face, but for now it was not possible. Yet this time Akashi noticed something else, there was a rose missing in the bushes and when he looked towards the table he saw a red petal right in front of the sitting teen.
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Somehow everything seemed to change in his basketball club Akashi noticed. His gaze was studying everyone. It wasn't long ago that he had been chosen as the captain or rather Nijimura handed the position over to him. But Akashi felt it, there would be more changes in near future. His gaze never left the court as he stood up and began the practice with everyone.
Soon enough he realized that he was not mistaken. It didn't take long for Kise to join. Akashi was troubled by Haizaki's behaviour, it didn't add up with the simple fact that he was no use, when Kise had far more potential than him. It hadn't been a hard decision for Akashi to tell Midorima that he would expel Haizaki from the first string. Not long after the message that Haizaki had left the club arrived to him. Akashi felt nothing as he heard the news and just told everyone to proceed with their practice.
Then their coach was hospitalised. He had always been a pillar who gave Akashi advices and spoke to him, he was at least able to give Akashi advices. Their new couch -previously vice couch- took over their team and let Akashi do as he pleased. He trusted Akashi's ways and decisions.
The boiling pot overcooked the day Murasakibara called Akashi weak. He wanted a match against Akashi for him to prove that he was suited as a captain. The match had looked lost for Akashi, their points were 4 to 1 and then something inside of him snapped. Akashi felt the difference. It was like hands were dragging his consciousness away from the front of his mind and replaced it by someone else. His brain was pulsing but he won the game. He had shown that daring teen his place. He deserved to sit on his knees. If they all wanted someone who didn't care they could get it.
He told his team that they could do whatever they wanted as long as their team won. The only one protesting had been Kuroko. But soon enough that also stopped after crushing his friend Ogiwara.
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"Take my hand." Time passed but Akashi didn't take the offered hand. He looked up to the teen and smiled. He at least never changed, did he?
"Shall we stay here tonight?" Was what Akashi asked.
"I can't." Was the teen's answer and it confused Akashi. Why couldn't he?
"Take my hand." The teen once again offered and Akashi took that hand, was dragged to his garden. Again wind was playing with his hair and the sweet scent of the roses were filling the air around him.
Akashi was once more lead to the table and there was something different. Tea was sitting on top of the table and some biscuits were placed in the middle. Without having the teen say that he should sit with him, Akashi sat on one of the chairs and waited for the other to join him.
"Many things changed." Akashi suddenly said as he took one sip of the tea and he could swear that this was the best tea he had ever drunk.
"Oh? What happened?" The other asked without looking away from Akashi's eyes.
"I may have made a mistake." Akashi continued before taking another sip.
"Everyone can make mistakes." Was what the teen uttered. "We are just human. You and I."
"Not as a huge one as I may have made." Akashi explained further. "Yet I have no power to change it."
There was something in the other's eyes as he laid down the tea in his hand and reached over to grab Akashi's left hand -which was lying on the table.
"Sometimes bad things happen. But everything will become fine."
Akashi really wanted to believe those words. Yet he knew the huge crime that would happen to the people around him. But they had deserved it. He had been nice but his own soul began to crumble under that pressure. He had solely taken a helping hand that was offered to him in the middle of said disaster.
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When Akashi woke up, he felt nothing nor did he look at the painting. Because that task was reserved for the one not quite in control right now. There was no smile on his face as he dressed and left for school.
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Again time passed. The change in Akashi's behaviour and soul never went unnoticed by the people around him. Kuroko being the most persistent one that pointed out to him that he had changed way too much. Yet Akashi would never allow him to show him his mistake as -deep down- he himself knew the great mistake he once did, but his self that was created throughout his years as a child and perfected in his days in Teiko was in charge. That self wasn't impolite nor was he too polite. His presence was the one of a lion, keeping everyone else on their knees when he entered a room and somehow Akashi -his real self- let all this happen. He watched from the safety of his mind as everything around him stayed the same but he changed. His father didn't seem to notice the change in his behaviour. His face still a stoic frown when directed to Akashi and asking him about his grades and achievements.
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"Father, I decided to attend Rakuzan High."
"Very well, Seijuurou. I wouldn't have been able to choose a better school for you."
"…"
"You may study now. I will not accept any failure in your grades."
"Yes father."
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After his first days in Rakuzan Akashi found himself in his bed not able to sleep when he closed his eyes. He had had this problem as a child quite often but since his dreams began his body and mind had more than just welcomed those dreams. With a sigh he straightened up and lit his nightstand. He hadn't looked at the painting for a long while. It had become unimportant to him to see it after everything that changed about him. But that night a small glance revealed worlds to Akashi. He stood up and stumbled -yes stumbled- to the painting. The boy -no, now obviously teen- was sitting nearly -really nearly- turned around. His face was solely hidden behind his elbow that was seated on the backside of the garden chair. Akashi stared in awe and wondered how this could be true.
The clothing of the teen had changed too. Still plain everyday clothes but this time instead of cloth pants he was wearing jeans ones. His red t-shirt was replaced by a khaki shirt. It was illogical. This painting shouldn't -couldn't- be real, yet he had watched this painting since he was a little kid, since he had taken it from his mother's room.
A shuddering breath escaped his mouth as he reached over and stroked over the oil painting. He hadn't done this since the first time he had held it in his hands as a little child, not able to reach it when it was hung. As a middle schooler his life had changed in many shades so he had forgotten to feel the painting for some times. His finger glided over the surface feeling the bumps of the more layered places. Then he placed his hand for the first time on the teen -who was sitting there- and it was soft, it was like touching human skin.
Akashi's hand recoiled, he looked at the painting in disbelieve before he once again lay his hand on the painted teen's elbow, felt the soft skin and just how real it felt. On the table in front of the teen was still that red petal but now also biscuits and tea. It was insane yet Akashi was looking right at it, questioning his own sanity by now.
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"Take my hand." The teen now grown and his face set in place, he looked at Akashi who was lying in his bed. "Let's go."
And Akashi reached over felt the soft brush of skin on skin and knew that the surface of the painting had just been like this. An electric feeling shot through his arm right into his heart and his fingers clenched around the other's hand as he was pulled forward into his garden, where they were standing on the soft grass before that teen once more began to tug at his hand, trying to show him the seats and table.
"Wait." Akashi then said, stopping in his tracks and his gaze sharp as he looked into the ones of the other teen.
"What happened?" Hazel eyes were searching for answers in red ones but there were none.
"I… We… I want you to come with me." He then said, his gaze never wavering as he looked at the other.
"O-Okay." Was the response he received and a smile washed over Akashi's face.
"Take my hand." Akashi offered for the first time since all this began and felt the shy brush of fingers on his palm before the teen was holding his hand.
It felt different, he would say breath taking but it wasn't that. It was more like the air passing through his airways was suffocating him, yet in the end he could think clearer and so he began to drag the teen after himself. Away from his garden and those bushes, away from that table and chairs. He wanted to show him a place at his home, he adored to stay when being outside as a kid. But soon enough he realized, the more he walked the more grass appeared but nothing else. His garden was far away by now yet there was nothing else. He slowed down.
"I'm sorry." Was faintly muttered behind him.
Akashi turned around and saw pained hazel eyes looking at him. The teen was on the verge of crying as if he could do something against this.
"I'm sorry. We can just stay here." Was what left the teen's mouth next.
And Akashi understood. They were caged in this painting. It would never become a reality to them.
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The next day Akashi felt a clenching in his heart, not sure why it happened. But surly he knew that it has to have something to do with those dreams. He cursed himself for remembering the garden and the boy but never what happened in those dreams.
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His basketball Team in Rakuzan was splendid, filled with remarkable and respectable players. He of course was the captain of his team. Always relying on their team play but also that they were over the average when standing alone against opponents. He liked his team, respected them and they respected him. It was important that this didn't change between them.
He soon had to have a talk with his former Teiko teammates. They needed to know that it was their duty to go all out against each other after attending different schools. This after all had also been Akashi's idea. Like this all of them would grow individually but also begin to understand that Akashi was truly absolute.
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"Take my hand." And Akashi obliged, was pulled into the surreal reality of his dream and garden. They were once again sitting and were silent for a long while.
"I joined the basketball team in my school." Then the teen said. Akashi looked at him confused as to why those words would be uttered.
"How come?" Akashi asked and took a sip of that marvellous tea.
"There's this girl…" There was this sweet blush again in the tip of the teen's ears. But all Akashi could think about were those words, those punishing-punishing words. There's this girl… His gaze turned down to his tea. He didn't dare to look up, the fear that in his dreams the hurt in his heart was more visible in his face was keeping him from doing so.
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Akashi was panting as he woke up, his heart was pounding and aching. He felt like vomiting. What was happening to his body? What was going on with his heart? Was he becoming ill from all those obligations? Was he pushing himself too hard? But then a sad smile cracked his lips, one lone tear was sliding down his face as he held his shirt right over his pounding heart.
No it wasn't that… It wasn't pushing himself too hard… It was something else… His eyes fell to the painting…
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The day of Akashi's reminder for his former teammates came closer and with this also the winter cup. He was going to meet them before the games would begin and remind them of their obligations. His mind was split into two, one half being the one in control and the other -the true Akashi- hidden under layers of undeserved self-hatred for not being able to withstand the pressure and feeling of being left behind on his own. He was also watching everything that happened. He knew what was going on but wouldn't interfere with his self that was created throughout his years of life.
Though this time something perked his interest. A hazel haired teen was to see just beside Kuroko. That colour reminded him of the painting and a long hanging pain in his heart. He listened to himself speaking and wanting the other to leave yet he was -his hidden self was- not sure if he wanted the other to leave. The fear in the hazel haired teen's eyes was all the more painful and Akashi felt a jab in his brain. A pulsing ache that slowly covered his whole mind.
It was wrong, it was wrong, how he reacted to the other intruder -the red-haired one. Yet again it was understandable. He was absolute, no body should oppose him, nobody should dare to do so. So Akashi let it happen, he watched and tried to control the pulsing and pain deep down his own senses.
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"I was scared today." Akashi looked up from his bed to the teen standing over him. His look was the one of a stray kitten which was kicked way too often by humans passing by. His looks wore shame and hurt.
But Akashi could not utter a word for comfort, it was like his lips were sealed so that he wasn't able to speak.
"Please. forget what I said." There was an uncertain pause before the teen spoke on. "Take my hand." There was that smile again. The hurt in his eyes was still present but he offered his hand and Akashi took it. Then again they ended up in the garden, doing nothing but sitting in a comfortable silence.
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When Akashi woke up he walked to the painting. Again some time had passed since the last time he inspected it. The boy was turned towards him fully this time, but his hands covered his face. It looked like he was scared and Akashi felt a painful clench in his chest area when having that thought.
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To Akashi's own surprise that day after school, his strides lead him to his father. Curiosity was what spurred him on. He knew for once that both sides of his were curios, that both of the people that lived inside of him wanted to know more about this painting.
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"Father, I have a question."
"Yes, Seijuurou?"
"Mother's painting, who painted it?"
"Well, this is an unexpected question."
"I need to know, father."
"Ayano Furihata is her name after marriage. She had been a classmate of mine in highschool. Even to that time her paintings were near perfect. I asked her to paint our garden for your mother, when she wasn't able to leave her bed any longer…"
"I see… Thank you father. My apologies for disturbing you at work."
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"Take my hand." Akashi reached over and once more they were in his garden. He looked around and everything was as green as ever, that nothing had changed here, that nothing ever changed here.
"Tell me do you like this garden?" It was Akashi who spoke and he watched the teen over the table -studied his face.
"I like it a lot. My mother used to tell me about a garden similar to this one. A garden she painted when I was little." There was a fond smile on his face as he uttered those words. "Though she added that it was a sad occasion she got the chance to see a garden this beautiful." his next look was thoughtful as he stirred through his tea before taking a sip.
"I see." Akashi looked down at his tea and then up the teen. There was nothing else he could add to that story.
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Many weeks passed and Rakuzan reached the finals, just as Akashi had predicted -he had been sure they would. Victory was the only way of their team and while his match against Seirin -against Kuroko- one teen fell to his eyes, no, not fell, he was shoved into his face, in the second quarter of their match to be exact.
The teen wasn't special, if anything he was an insult for daring to guard Akashi in this match. His way around this player was an easy one, his guard, as weak as it was, couldn't keep Akashi down. Yet his persistence was remarkable and again there was this nagging in the back of Akashi's mind each time the hazel hair and eyes of the teen flashed up in his gaze. But in the end he ignored it.
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Soon enough the teen was marked by Mayuzumi, who made a fatal mistake in underestimating a desperate opponent which lead to an average played two pointer. Akashi was enraged to say the least, about Mayuzumi's mistakes. Which weren't decreasing but increasing throughout the game.
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They were losing, his teammates were no help anymore and Akashi pushed himself even more, his -the controlling one's- rage increased bit by bit. Letting go of his team and standing alone against the other -Seirin. Yet soon enough he fell to the ground, understood that this was no helping it. His rage was causing more damage than good and Akashi -the true one- deep inside of his mind understood finally.
He decided to accept his sins and shoulder the real world. Akashi's eyes were closed just a small moment and when he opened them, the world around him was clearer, the basketball gym, squeaking shoes and cheering spectators. He inhaled deep as he spoke to his teammates. Because they were, they are his teammates and he would try his best to erase the faults of his past.
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The game was finished, the battle lost. Akashi had a smile on his face when they stood in front of Seirin to exchange causalities and congratulate them on their victory. But next year he promised, it would look quite different, then Rakuzan would definitely win against Seirin. Akashi blinked shortly when once again that hazel colour caught in the rim of his eyes and he looked to his right. Saw a teen, smiling and laughing with his teammates and it made Akashi wonder from where he knew that teen. That colour… Akashi's eyes widened.
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When Akashi got home he didn't greet anyone. He ran -stumbled- towards his room and when he stood before his door panting, he coughed shortly before pushing the door open. When stepping inside, the first thing he felt was wind grazing his skin. The room's windows were wide open and the cold winter air was passing through his room, yet when he inhaled he could smell the wonderful scent of roses. He closed his eyes and inhaled deep.
When he stepped deeper inside and walked towards the painting, just to halt right in front of it, his breath caught in his throat. The teen was standing straight, face towards the viewer, those hands which had been in front of his eyes before were balled to fists on the teen's sides. There was a beautiful smile on the teen's face, his eyes looking determined to win. That hair, those eyes, that smile…
Akashi fell to his knees. The boy visiting him for years now… His childish wish was true… The boy existed, the boy who accompanied him throughout his years and gave him something to hold onto, something to look forward to each night, was real…
A shuddering breath escaped his throat and he felt tears slide down his cheeks. How hadn't he noticed that it had been him the first time he had met this teen? How hadn't he noticed? Why hadn't he stopped his other self? Questioning himself wouldn't help him he knew. Yet those questions wouldn't let go of his mind as he pressed the palms of his hands over his eyes -cried.
At least now he knew that he wasn't going insane, the teen was there, he was alive and more than just real…
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"Take my hand." Akashi complied, his grip around that hand was firm as he was once again lead to the garden. They had been doing this for years now and Akashi had grown, the teen had grown, their hands weren't small anymore, their grip wasn't weak. When they arrived at that beautiful garden Akashi stopped before following the teen any further. He let go of that hand, he had accustomed to hold and smiled.
"What is your name?" Akashi asked softly, his eyes were directed to the teen.
"Uh… Uhm… Furihata Kouki." Akashi's smile grew. What had his father said days prior? Ayano Furihata.
"Congratulation, Kouki." He said as he looked the other straight into the eyes. "You won the Winter Cup."
The last thing he saw was the shocked look in the teen's face. Then everything went dark around him.
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The next day was like a fresh start for Akashi. His smile was genuine as he stood up to ready himself for school. His eyes traveled to the painting on his wall and his smile dropped. He walked towards it and after he was standing right in front of it he laid his hand on the surface. The painting was smooth, the soft and rich green a major contrast to the bright white of the table and the chairs, the red roses a soft kiss of love, but the familiar hazel brown was missing. The boy -teen- who had been on his side each night since his mother's death was not to be seen anymore. The remaining was just a wonderful painting of the garden of his mother. Lively and yet when that minor -for him major- detail was missing it felt so wrong. Akashi gritted his teeth as he turned away from that painting.
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The following night was a dreamless one for Akashi and something major was missing, was taken by force from him. He rubbed over his face, he was feeling so tired all of a sudden, and that after he was sure that he had won against one of his dark monsters, just when he thought that he would excel without losing himself anymore. He stood up to ready himself for school, he also had to speak to Kuroko, had to ask about someone named Furihata. The first name of the teen was unknown to him -his dreams never revealed more of what happened, than just the knowledge of a garden and a boy- but somehow Akashi knew that this hazel haired teen was related to Ayano Furihata.
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"Good evening, Tetsuya."
"Good evening, Akashi-kun."
"I have a question according to a teammate of yours."
"Oh?"
"His last name is Furihata. I need his contact details."
"I'm sorry but without asking him I can't pass his details on to you. I will send you a text as soon as I can Akashi-kun."
"Thank you, Tetsuya."
"May I ask a question in return?"
"Yes."
"What is it, that you want from Furihata-kun."
"It… There is an important matter I have to speak with him about…"
"I see. Have a nice evening, Akashi-kun."
"Have a nice evening, Tetsuya."
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Another dreamless night. Akashi brushed over his eyes as he fought his body out of his bed. This couldn't go on like this. He wished his dreams back, wanted to live with the oblivion of his childish self and just dream again of this boy -this teen. Who hadn't just vanished from his dreams, but also from that painting.
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From: Kuroko Tetsuya
To: Akashi Seijuurou
These are Furihata-kun's contact details, Akashi-kun.
Furihata Kouki
0xx-xxx-xxxx
From: Akashi Seijuurou
To: Kuroko Tetsuya
I am in your debt, Tetsuya.
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It was finally summer and Akashi was checking his watch for the hundredth time that day. He was too early, he knew. The train had to arrive in a bit. He still wasn't sure how he had been able convince the other teen to meet him. His eyes travelled to the rails before he shifted on his feet. This couldn't possibly be, he was feeling uncertain, nervous.
His heart fluttered in his chest when he saw the train in the distance. As the train halted his gaze searched between the people who exited it and soon enough he noticed that familiar hazel hair. He pushed his way through the masses that still streamed out of the train. The back of the teen was turned towards him before he cleared his throat to announce his arriving.
"Ah." The teen's hazel eyes widened in alarm before they softened after spotting him. "Akashi-san." He then said and took some steps back as to get some distance between them.
There was a sting in Akashi's chest area but he ignored it, that could wait for later to analyse.
"Shall we go? My driver is waiting outside the station." Furihata's eyes widened and Akashi presented him a smile. Then the teen nodded and they walked side by side to the waiting vehicle.
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The teen was following Akashi as he was lead through the mansion towards the gardens in the back. Akashi could feel that the other was uneasy as he followed him and felt more than just out of place, yet he needed the teen to follow him. Then they finally arrived at the destination Akashi had chosen and planned for months. His gaze shifted to Furihata, who was looking with wide eyes forward. Soft and rich green, white table and chairs, rose bushes.
"Take my hand." The offer had just spilled out of his mouth as Akashi offered his hand and smiled at Furihata.
The feathery light brush of the uncertain fingers on Akashi's palm were making his heart falter, the impulse to crush the teen in a hug, to pull him forward into Akashi's arms was immense. This was what Akashi had felt since his mother's death each night. The words had certainly spilled out of his mouth when he recognized the familiar environment and with the right person it was like Akashi finally knew what his dreams had been made of.
With sure steps Akashi lead Furihata to the table and chairs, tea and biscuits were waiting for them.
"Come sit with me." Akashi offered and helped Furihata to sit down. Again an offer which left his mouth so easily, without any concern that it might be strange.
Akashi's smile never wavered as he seated himself in front of Furihata. This felt familiar, this had to be what he had done in each of his dreams. He gazed right into Furihata's eyes. The other did just the same. The air was filled with the sweet scent of roses, the mild rustle of the bushes in the background and a breeze which helped to calm Akashi's pounding heart. There was a stretched silence between them but it didn't feel out of place, it was comfortable and calming.
Akashi closed his eyes, this was how he woke up each morning, this calm and comforted. When he opened his eyes, he saw a fond smile in Furihata's face before the teen averted his eyes and a blush covered his ear tips. Akashi's heart jumped and ached this had to be what he had seen the first night when he felt his heart falter in his chest after waking up.
"Give me a moment." Akashi said and stood up. He made his way to one of the rose bushes, looked through the roses and picked the most beautiful one among them. The one with the most vibrant colours -the one that looked familiar- and returned to the table. He offered the rose to Furihata. The teen looked up to him while he shyly accepted that gift.
"Akashi-san… I… I'm sorry…" There was a crack in the teen's voice.
Akashi looked puzzled towards the teen, crouched down in front of him.
"What is it, that is bothering you, Kouki?"
"I'm sorry to have never told you."
"Do not apologize Kouki."
"No I mean it, I'm sorry, I knew that you were him. From the very beginning, the moment I first saw you. But… But… You, no, he was so scary. I just couldn't bring myself to…"
"There is nothing to apologise for, Kouki. If someone is obliged apologise then that person is me."
There was a long stretched silence between them, which dragged on the seconds and then Akashi found himself hugging Furihata. This had been what the other had offered him when Akashi had been crying in his dreams, when he had felt all alone.
"Do not cry, do not apologize. I am just glad that the boy -the teen- who saved my sanity truly exists." Akashi cooped Furihata's face in his hands. "Look at me Kouki." The teen's gaze slowly shifted upwards. "Thank you for being there. Thank you for giving me a place to grief. Thank you for taking my hand when I needed it. Thank you for showing me true happiness after my mother died. Thank you…"
Then his arms once again found their way around Furihata and as the teen hugged him back, Akashi finally knew what it felt like to be happy again. He didn't know when he also had started to cry, but his silent tears were sliding down his cheeks and landing on Furihata's shoulder.
His dreamless nights would find an end Akashi hoped, because this felt like a reunion, like he would never have to be alone in his life anymore. The boy, the teen, was so painfully real and in his arms, crying, just as him. Relief, grief, pain, uncertainty. Yet it all seemed like a complete new beginning as Akashi finally understood what it meant to love.
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On a painting, in a big fancy room, two boys were sitting side by side, hands intervened and a smile present on both faces. The garden around them covered in a rich green, the rose bushes filled with red roses. On the white table biscuits and tea.
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Afterword
For some reason art is a way for people to put their hearts on display, to show the remaining world what their emotions create in the deepest corner of their minds. As people see those displayed pieces of an artist's heart, they cannot help but also feel a wave of new thoughts and emotions the artist had while creating his or her piece.
Just the way Furihata's mother Ayano created a piece when seeing the grief in Akashi Masaomi's eyes. She wanted a piece filled with comfort and happiness for whoever looked at it and that perhaps had been what lead to the wonderful events in this story filled with a child's grief.
A/N: I hope you liked this!
Reviews are always welcomed!