I've written the first four chapters already! I'm hoping by forcing myself to post this, it'll inspire me to write more very soon!

Let me know what you think! Please be kind!

Chapter 1: I've waited a hundred years, I'd wait a million more for you.

September 2012

You didn't want to be here, you wanted to be literally anywhere else.

You wanted to be in LA making music in a swanky recording studio, attending the best parties with the best people, and leaving your mark on the industry. You wanted to fulfil your dreams and hear your own songs blasting through radio speakers as you drove through palm trees and traffic jams. You wanted to be back home with your mom and your sister in Florida, sitting on the beach with your laptop and headphones, not giving a fuck about anything.

You wanted to be back in Seattle.

But none of that could happen, you had to wait, because you were in college now.

It wasn't just any old college, it was your dad's college. The dad you hadn't spoken to in over four years, not since he decided to leave the family homeless and run off with another woman. The same dad that barged into your life mere months ago, forcing you to go to Barden. You scoffed at his reasons – it would be 'free' and you could 'bond' and 'spend time together'. He had four years to do that, you thought.

But, no, Dr Warren Mitchell had almost demanded you take the ten-hour drive from Miami to Atlanta to start the next chapter of your life, regardless of your own wants and dreams.

You were almost nineteen years old and yet you still couldn't escape the tormenting grasp this man had over you. You'd spent the last few years trying to forget everything he'd done; trying to forget the pain he'd caused your family; trying to forget he existed. And yet here he was, only a five-minute walk away at all times. You were overwhelmed to say the least. It hurt to think about. The giant ball of anger and resentment building in your chest only grew the more you thought of him.

Still, you had to suck it up. You knew your mom also liked the idea of you getting a college education, too. Not necessarily all the way in Georgia with your dad and the bitch he left her for. But, with no student debt piling up and an adult close by in case of any emergencies, she couldn't complain too much. You knew she tried not to think about it.

You'd spent weeks arguing with your father since he'd come waltzing back into your life.

No, you won't tell him what you've been up to. No, you won't come and visit the stepmonster and her perfect son in their perfect home. And no, you certainly won't move to a college right on his doorstep when you could be making money in LA doing what you loved, without the need for a degree. And if that wasn't an option, you wanted to at least go to a college near your mom, so you could visit her and your sister often. They were basically the only friends you had, which was the saddest fucking thing ever.

And yet, plans didn't work out that way.

Your dad was so anti-LA that it made you hate him even more than you thought possible. The rage in your chest had almost become a whole new entity, entirely separate from your own body. You had almost named it. Why would a father not want their child to pursue their dreams and be happy? Then again, why would a father choose another woman over his own daughters? You'd never know. You didn't even want to know anymore. No amount of therapy would get you over the bitterness you held for that man, and you decided you didn't even want to try with him. You'd just be civil and pretend he was a stranger.

It was only when Warren agreed to reconsider helping you move to LA after a year of college, that you reluctantly agreed. It took a whole lot of bribing on your parents' part to get you there though. Maybe the promise of a new car to drive to Atlanta, and to be in a dorm close to your classes so you didn't have to wake up at ungodly hours just to pass. They drew the line when you asked for a single room with no roommate – they wanted you to 'make friends' and have a 'college experience'. You knew your dad was probably only half serious about the LA deal, but it was something.

When you really thought about it, college couldn't be that bad, could it? Sure, you didn't see the point of spending four years to earn a piece of paper that won't even help you do what you want to achieve in life. But parties and alcohol and music and more alcohol and no one to tell you what to do? You could be doing much, much worse.

That's how you found yourself walking through the campus of Barden University, aimlessly wandering further and further away from the distressed father you'd left back in your room. You were confused as to why he thought he could barge in on you all the time now. Just because you agreed to come here, didn't mean he could poke his nose into your business as if he hadn't left you with countless abandonment and trust issues; as if the past four years hadn't happened. You had scars to prove that they did happen.

You hoped that Kimmy Jin had freaked your dad out enough that he wouldn't come back for at least the rest of the semester.

You scowled as you looked across at the activities fair. You'd always seen them in movies and on TV and thought they looked at least a bit interesting. Yet, here you were, staring at grown adults harmonizing in the street, thinking you'd already had enough.

Before you lost all will to live, you located a table for the university's radio station and signed your name down for the internship before you could talk yourself out of it. You were very good at talking yourself out of things you enjoy. You knew it's wasn't LA, but it would do for now. If your songs were heard by even a few people through the campus radio, it was better than just your mom.

You sighed and turned around, and that's when you saw her.

August 2008

"Go on, Becs, we'll wait in the car while you say goodbye again." You heard your mom in the distance as you walked towards the house you had spent your whole life growing up in. It was nothing spectacular, your room barely had enough space to fit your clothes in, but it was cozy, and it was home. You'd learnt to walk there. You'd learnt your ABCs and how to play the piano. You'd made your first mix and had your first kiss, and your second kiss, and your third. There were so many moments from the past fifteen years that you didn't want to leave behind.

But you didn't have a choice.

You looked up at the redhead in front of you, your heart breaking in half as you took in her face. It hurt you to see Chloe this upset, this broken, in this much pain because of you. She was supposed to be the happy one, the one who went out of her way to cheer others up, and the only one who could stop you from falling apart.

You walked a few more tentative steps and fell into open arms.

You'd done a lot of falling this summer.

Your body was heavy with sadness and fear, but Chloe was there to catch you.

You couldn't even fathom everything that had happened in the past few weeks. Summer was supposed to be perfect – you were turning fifteen in less than a month and high school was just around the corner. You were supposed to join Chloe, who was already going into her junior year. You were supposed to be spending your time making music and writing songs and confessing your undying love. Yet here you were, saying goodbye, because your father had abandoned you and forced you to move out of the house he owned.

You were a little freaked out that you were essentially homeless now, and less than pleased that you had to go and live with your grandparents on the other side of the country. But you were more upset about Chloe.

You didn't understand why this had to happen to you. You were finally getting somewhere with her, you'd finally come to terms with your head and your feelings and how you weren't wrong or dirty. Your whole dynamic with her had changed in mere months and yet this was how it was ending.

You didn't want it to end before it had even started.

"Are you sure I can't come to the airport with you?" Chloe asked, her voice small and shaky, trying to hold back a sob.

You shook your head. If you opened your mouth at that moment in time, you'd start bawling and wouldn't be able to stop. You'd never felt heartbreak quite like this before. Your mom had tried to tell you that it would go away eventually and that it was just puppy love; that you would find someone else in no time, because you were literally only fourteen. But this wasn't supposed to be happening, it wasn't how it was supposed to go.

You didn't even own a god damn phone to keep in touch.

You and Chloe both knew it would be much harder dragging out the inevitable. You fell deeper into her embrace, hands clutching at each other's clothes, unwilling to let go. You had spent almost your entire childhood in tight embraces with Chloe. Six-year-old you had hated them at first; you still pretended to hate them.

You never could.

"Call me as soon as you get to Florida, okay?" Chloe's face was still buried in your shoulder. You gave a reassuring nod and brought your head up, forcing your eyes to lock.

Chloe stared so deeply at you, you wondered if she could read your thoughts. A slight blush appeared on your cheeks at the idea of Chloe seeing just how much she occupied your mind.

You'd spent the past couple of weeks in complete denial that your father had just walked out. You'd been so close. He'd taught you how to play the piano, and he'd bought you your first pair of expensive headphones. And yet, one day you'd woken up and he was gone, just a note left behind on the table saying he was sorry and that you all had to move out because he wanted to sell the house. The cheek. That's all you got, that's all you meant to him. You'd think being his eldest daughter would mean much more, and you didn't even want to think about your baby sister; she was only three and practically fatherless.

You could physically feel the ball of anger in your chest.

Since that moment, you'd spent every waking minute with Chloe. You'd spent almost every sleeping minute next to her too. Chloe had come up with a genius plan to persuade both your mom and her parents to let you live with the Beales until further notice. Although the Beales would totally have let you, your mom felt too bad and insisted you move with them to Miami.

Chloe really had a hold on you, and you didn't want to let go.

"It's gonna be weird not being neighbors anymore." You felt her words on your face and that's when the first tears fell.

You lifted your hand to wipe them off Chloe's face gently, feeling her lean into your touch.

"I-" Chloe began before stopping and looking at the floor. You lifted her chin and tilted your head to the side.

"Me too."

You didn't need to say anymore, you both knew.

The tears were flowing from both of you, only this time they weren't wiped away. Instead, Chloe leaned forward, her hands cupping your face, and pressed her lips against yours.

You returned the kiss and hoped it said everything you needed.

It wasn't the first time you'd kissed, but you knew it was probably the last.

September 2012

You blinked a few times to check you weren't seeing things. Sure, you'd had a long, stressful day with your father and there were a lot of red headed girls with bright blue eyes and perfect smiles and scars on their foreheads and –

Yeah, she was still there.

Before you had time to think of a plan or run away, blue eyes were on yours. You thought maybe time had stood still or your lungs were totally giving up on their one job. You thought maybe you were about to throw up or pass out, or scream, or maybe even laugh at the man in the sky who thought that this was how you wanted things to go.

You needed to do something, anything. You couldn't just stand still.

Before you had the chance to make your move, you felt a stampede of frat boys rush into you, knocking you straight to the ground.

Yep, that'll do it, you thought before everything went black.

When you opened your eyes, everything was blurry. You tried to shake your head to bring everything back to you, only it focused your brain on the thumping headache that was quickly emerging.

"Fuck." You whispered as everything finally came into frame.

And there she was, literally inches away from your face, concern pouring out of her eyes. God, those eyes.

"Hey." Chloe whispered, her hand brushing your hair off your forehead, where you imagined there was now a giant bruise.

"Hey yourself." You couldn't help but smirk, even through the pain.

It had been a long time; a really, really, really long time. Four whole years to be exact, and for two people who had spent every moment of their lives together, that was fucking ages.

It took you a few moments to take in your surroundings. You knew you were on a bed, but it definitely wasn't in your own dorm.

"This is my room." Chloe explained, taking in your confused expression. Can she like, still read your mind or something? "I only live around the corner from the activities fair, so this seemed like the best option."

"You've got a concussion and a nasty bruise on your forehead, but you'll be okay if you rest." Chloe offered you a glass of water and some medicine. You didn't even want to think about how you got from the floor into Chloe's bed, the thought embarrassed you too much.

"Plus, I'm pre-med so I can totally look after you." Chloe winked, and you almost choked on your drink.

"I missed you." You blurted without realizing, before opening your eyes wide and coughing on literally just air. You couldn't believe that had fallen out of your mouth considering you were telling yourself to say literally anything BUT THAT ten seconds ago. Damn, Beca, way to go.

You felt your whole body blush as you looked at Chloe, her smile bigger than you'd ever remembered it.

"I missed you too, yanno." You calmed down a little at her confession. "And I totally put my number in your phone while you were out of it." She flicked her hair to the side and smirked.

God, you missed this. You'd forgotten just how perfect this girl was. You'd spent so many years trying to imagine what this exact moment would be like, and here she was – living it, breathing it, ruining it.

"How did you know my passcode?" Your eyes narrowed in suspicion.

"Oh please, your birthday Beca? Really?"

It was like no time has passed at all. You expected it to be awkward, maybe even hostile, but it was perfect. She was perfect. Four years hadn't changed Chloe at all. Sure, she was a little taller and a bit skinnier, but she was still just as beautiful as you remembered. Maybe even more now.

"What were you doing at the activities fair anyway? Shouldn't you be getting back there?"

"Oh, we're recruiting people for the Bellas, you should totally join!" Chloe gripped your body in excitement. "Oh my god, Beca, it would be perfect, and we really need people right now."

"The what?"

"The Bellas, our acapella group! We compete in national championships and win trophies."

"On purpose?" You couldn't help but tease.

"Come ooooon, it'll be fun, and we can catch up and spend more time together."

"Sorry Chlo, I don't even sing." Chloe glared at you. "Anymore."

"How come?" Chloe asked you cautiously.

It hurt you to know that you didn't know everything about each other anymore. You'd spent your whole lives learning every little detail about each other, every secret and personal memory. Like how Chloe used to put the milk in the bowl before the cereal and how you spent every morning moaning at how disgraceful she was being until she changed her ways and became human. Like how Chloe and your sister, Violet, had a secret language that you didn't get to be in on, until Chloe whispered all the words to you one night. Like how your mom and Chloe would secretly hang out to plan your birthday parties even though you hated your birthday, but you'd secretly love everything they ever did.

It frustrated you to no end that you were practically strangers now. Sure, you'd always have all those memories, but you'd missed out on the most important years. You felt Chloe's eyes on yours, trying to read your expression.

Even that was hard now – it used to be instant, as if she was looking into your soul and seeing an extension of her own self. Now, you could tell Chloe was struggling. Physically, you were the same as you were four years ago, only now with more angst, more eyeliner and more piercings. You hoped Chloe wasn't put off by these new additions.

"It's been a rough couple of years." You offered.

"Not just for you."

You didn't say much for a while. The silence was almost deafening, filled with unanswered questions and heartache.

"Why didn't you write back?" the redhead mumbled, her face breaking from your gaze to look at her own lap. God, you'd forgotten what sad Chloe looked like. You'd hoped you'd never have to see it again, and yet it was right before your eyes – and you had caused that. You'd always be the cause of that.

Why didn't you write back?

You couldn't really give her an answer because you didn't have a good enough excuse. Chloe had sent so many letters to you over the years, well over a hundred. All neatly handwritten with your name made of loops and hearts on the envelope. You even knew Chloe had gone out of her way to buy crazy stamps to send them to you, and that made you love her so much. And yet you didn't reply, not to a single one of them; you'd let them pile up in your room, collecting dust.

You'd read them all though.

They'd started off light – I miss you, we should hang out soon, I wish you hadn't moved.

They got more and more desperate and angry as the years went by – Why are you not replying? Have you already replaced me? Should I stop?

You didn't want her to stop, you wanted to get the courage to write back. Several times you'd sat at your desk, pen in hand, and tried to reply. But you'd just break down – almost passing out from anxiety and the inability to catch your breath. You just couldn't do it, it would only make everything harder because you had so much to say.

Chloe, I love you. Chloe, I need you here. Chloe, I literally can't function as a human being without you around me. Chloe, bad things are happening here. Chloe, I don't want to be alive anymore.

But you couldn't say any of it, it would make everything so much worse. You knew the other girl would be happier without your issues bringing her down and ruining her life as well.

So, you didn't reply, and eventually, after about two years, Chloe stopped writing. It broke your heart, but it was your own fault, you'd caused it to happen, you didn't deserve her even after all this time.

"I-" You stuttered. "I didn't know what to say, nothing felt enough."

Chloe nodded but you could tell she wanted you to say more; it made you anxious.

"Well, I have to finish handing out flyers." Chloe stood up and you frowned because you didn't want her to leave.

The hold was back. Had it ever really gone?

"You can sleep off your concussion here while I finish, if you want? And then we can go and get lunch and catch up properly?" Chloe's smile came back onto her face.

She was fucking beautiful.

You couldn't help but mirror her smile and nod, you had a lot of catching up to do.

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