The Big Fight
Announcer: Tonight's fighters will be: um…wait a sec…gotta get my script…Hehe you guys just wait a second, please? Where is my script? Ah, yes! Here we go! Tonight's fighters will be Martha Stewart and um, how do you say his name again? Oh yeah! The fight is as follows: Martha Stewart vs. Mario!
And the Crowd goes wild!
Crowd: Not Martha Stewart! (Overlapping voices) Why her? I'm leaving! Mario is the only thing that saved this show!
See what did I tell ya?
Before the fight, we are going to interview both contestants. Let's see how Mario is doing…
Mario: Momma mia! Why a me?
BigHeadBoy: How do you feel?
Mario: Me a missin my brother, Luigi! Momma mia!
Lots of "Momma mia's" There! Let's see how Martha is doing…
Martha: @%#$!!! I left my cardboard potatoes in the oven too long!
BigHeadBoy: How do you feel, Martha?
Martha: Be quiet or I'll shove my plastic carrot soup down your throat!
TORTURE!
Let the fight begin!
Now the fighters are armed with one weapon each! Martha has her steak knife for cutting her frozen solid brick cookies. (?) Mario has his prize glow-in-the-dark plunger. He is a plumber, after all.
Announcer: Um, start fighting! (Rings bell)
Martha takes her steak knife and swings at Mario's legs. But since he's just computer graphics, it goes right through him and doesn't harm him!
Then Martha has an idea: chuck some Jell-O at him that really and truly is alive! Even though he is computer graphics, the Jell-O hurts him anyway.
So Mario takes his plunger and starts jabbing Martha in the stomach. Hey! Hold on a second! Martha has rubber pancakes sewn into her shirt so if you punch her, it won't hurt!
Martha: Sheesh. I think I should go back to playing the role of Jar-Jar Binks.
Crowd: Yeah! You're really annoying, just like him!
Martha: GRRRRRR…
Meanwhile, Mario is swinging his plunger around like Darth Maul swings his lightsaber. But Mario's not very experienced so he hit himself in the head!
Now our fighters will have a break!
Martha sharpens her knife and sips at her cow dung tea.
Crowd: Ewwww!
Martha: Shut up! You would make food bad to if Yoko Oh-No taught you!
Let's take a look at Mario! It seems he's thoroughly washing the suction part of his plunger!
Mario: Never! Never again! Momma mia!
Quit saying "Momma mia" or whatever you say!
Crowd: Yeah!
Announcer: Okay, fight! (Rings bell)
Sorry. The following is very violent. We were thinking of just censoring it and making this show boring, but we said "Ah, what the heck?"
Crowd: Ouch! Oh! Painful! Just what you need for fun!
Right now Martha is drooling like a dog.
Crowd: It's been a hard day's night, and now I'm drooling like a dog!
Mario has a computer graphic bloody nose!
Martha: Not fair! Since Mario's in a game he gets a lot of lives and I only get one!
Crowd: Will be glad the day you have no lives!
Martha: GRRRRR…
Mario: Momma mia!
SHUT UP GOSH DARN IT!
Mario: (sniffle, sniffle)
Right now, Mario's just so fed up with Martha that he shoves his plunger down her throat and wins! Why couldn't he just have done that in the beginning?
Crowd: Yay!
Announcer: Ah, man! I wanted Martha to win!
Crowd attacks announcer.
OUCH!
The End