A Musical Crossing Jordan Parody

By Silver Snape Silk

Rating: PG I think

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, or the songs, I'm just borrowing them for my little purposes, then returning them when I am done.

Author's Note: I got the idea for this from a challenge for Stargate, and well, you guessed it. I also dare anyone to do this, it's a great deal of fun. Extra points if you can work in 'A Whole New World'.

Songs I have put up lyrics to are, in order, 'Santa Monica' by Savage Garden, 'Days Like These' by Aneiki, 'Tourniquet' by Evanescence, a modified 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen, 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer' Aussie bits added. Also for the Eddings fans, there's a slight Eddings reference I'm sure you'll get. Try to find it. :D

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"Hey everyone" Devan announced. "Woody and I are going to Santa Monica! So, bye!"

As she turned to leave, everyone began singing;

"In Santa Monica

In the winter time

The lazy streets are so undemanding

I walk into the crowd

In Santa Monica

You get your coffee from

The coolest places on the promenade

Where people dress just so"

Devan left and everyone went their separate ways.

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Jordan was, as usual, late and came in singing. "These bags are getting heavy and I'm tired of dragging them around. It's days like these that I start thinking am I so lost I might not be found." Everyone stared at her as she sang.

"And they warned me that there would be

Days like these

And I try so hard

But I fail so

Forgive me please. What? Haven't you seen a girl sing before?"

Everyone went back to what they were doing.

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A while later Jordan walked to Garrett's office. On her way she passed one group of people singing 'The Animal Song' another singing 'Joy to The World, The Teacher's Dead' and another singing 'Walk Like an Egyptian'. She shook her head. Whoever was writing this fic was twisted. She stuck her head into Garrett's office and found him singing 'A Whole New World'. Okay, this author was really twisted. She spoke to Garrett for a little while, then left to find Nigel. He was singing 'I'm a Little Teapot' as he autopsied a body. Again, she shook her head. This author needed mental help. "Sorry to interrupt, but what's happening tonight?"

"Tonight? Well, as far as I know, we're going out for drinks together. The Pogue okay??"

"Sure. Sounds great." She gestured at the body lying on the examination table. "What does it look like to you?"

"Suicide."

Suddenly, the corpse sat up and began singing.

"I tried, to kill the pain

But only brought more (so much more)

I lay dying

And I'm pouring

Crimson regret

And betrayal

I'm dying

Praying

Bleeding

And screaming

Am I too lost

To be saved

Am I too lost?"

And with that the body sank back.

"So what makes you think it could be suicide?" Jordan asked.

Nigel pointed to slash marks on the victims wrist. They ran up the arm. "No signs of struggle, and the corpse had the knife in her hand. Was found in a pool of her own blood."

"Open and shut then."

"Indeed. Now if you'll excuse me…" He went back to autopsying. Jordan walked off singing softly 'Give Me a Reason'. She went to her office, where she found a mountain of paperwork on her desk, along with a note. "Your door is now locked, and I have the key. You will not leave until all your paperwork is done. Garrett."

Jordan sank down into her chair. "Why me?" She demanded of nobody in particular. Well, maybe the universe. As usual, the universe didn't answer. Jordan sighed and began to start on the mountain before her.

She was almost finished when she heard singing outside her door. It sounded like Nigel and Garrett.

"Let her go!"

"No, I will not let her go!"

"Let her go!"

"No, I will not let her go!

"Let her go!"

"No, I will not let her go!

"Let her go!"

"No no no no no no no!"

"Finished!" Jordan announced triumphantly. There was the sound of a key being turned in a lock, and Garrett stuck his head in. "Good. You can come out now." Jordan obediently came out. Nigel was standing near her door. "You ready?" he asked.

"You betcha!" She went back into her office and grabbed her jacket. "Well, we're off. Bye Garrett."

"Bye Dr. M!" Nigel called as he followed.

"Wait! Wait!" an unnamed extra called out. "It's nearly Christmas! We have to sing a carol!"

Everyone broke out in song;

"Rudolph the rednosed reindeer

Had a very shiny nose (like a lightbulb)

And if you ever saw it (Saw it)

You would even say it glows (It glows)

All of the other reindeer (Reindeer)

Used to laugh and call him names (Like tomato face)

They never let poor Rudolph (Rudolph)

Join in any reindeer games (Like monopoly)

Then one foggy Christmas Eve, Santa came to say (G'Day!)

'Rudolph with your nose so bright

Won't you guide my sleigh tonight?'

Then how the reindeer loved him (Loved him)

And they shouted out with glee (Yippee!)

Rudolph the red nosed reindeer

You'll go down in history (Like Bob Hawke)"

Everyone drifted off to where ever they were going, and Nigel and Jordan left the building, loudly singing Elvis.

The End