Shindou Eiri
By Fedski
No one saw it coming, and I guess, seeing how relationship is, it would come as a shock.
Shindou Eiri.
I know that I am seen as the dominant character in our relationship but bear with me.
I mean I could hardly have asked my little pop star to change his name to something as dull as Uesugi, and to tell you the truth I have felt less and less a Yuki every day I spent with the brat.
Truthfully, I had very little connection to either surname, there were too many horrible memories attached to both. Uesugi Eiri was a neglected, selfish young kid whom his father never understood. His mother's death at the age of six ensured he grew up to be a naive kid who trusted easily.
Too easily.
It was that blind trust that made him into Yuki Eiri, the cold hearted bastard of a romance novelist who hated life. I blame Kitazawa Yuki's death on Yuki Eiri not Uesugi. The change was quick but it happened. The moment I pulled that trigger I became Yuki Eiri, a man who sealed away his emotions and let his bitterness towards himself consume every inch of his life.
Yes, life wasn't pleasant for me with either identity. Where I hated Yuki Eiri for being a selfish bastard, I hated Uesugi Eiri more for reminding me of my pathetic naivety from my youth. It was the one thing I couldn't stand and it was the one thing he knew best.
I guess it might have been because of that that he managed to sneak his way into my ice heart and grow there festering like mould until I gave in and crumbled. It was hard to admit to the sunshine boy that I had killed someone and yet harder still to say I loved him. What amazed me most was when I realised that I couldn't live without him. It shocked me to the core that I had become so dependent one someone when I swore to never again. So I did the only thing logical.
I'd been planning it for months, the way that I would ask him to be mine forever. You would think being a novelist, a romance one at that, it would have been easy for me, but it proved to be just as stressful for me as for one of my characters. I was so relieved when I just said it.
The brat was so excitedly happy I was worried he would rupture his appendix or something and when he said yes I think he made me the happiest I had been in my entire life. In a moment of weakness I told him so and I've regretted it ever since... I don't think he'll ever forget and secretly I hope that he won't.
But you can see, how someone so full of joy and energy would be stifled under such name as mine.
Tohma was confused. Using his supposed psychological methods he wondered aloud why it would turn out like this. He thought for sure I wouldn't be able to resist - being the possessive bastard I am – to brand Shuichi with my own name. When he said that I just laughed at the irony, because in my own way it's exactly what I am doing for Shu.
I already have his heart; I know I own everything of and about him. I have made it painstakingly obvious to the media and therefore the world that Shuichi is MY lover. Every book I now publish has some sort of a thank you to the brat and my readers eat up the fact that I've openly admitted he is mine.
Shindou Eiri is the one way I can tell him that I am just as much his as he is mine.
And besides, I love how it sounds.
Author's Note:
Well hi there again. I recently discovered the Anime of this series 'Gravitation' hidden away in my local library and took it home to check it out. I have to say that I really like how the characters were presented in it, they're all so deep that I had to write something about them!
My little sister absolutely hates it and so if you're reading it Nui, I'm sorry but I couldn't resist writing it.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Gravitation
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Thank you!