Taxing Time RPG

by Mrs Wizzard

Terry Pratchett Message Board RPG, probably our most interesting one yet! The tax office is open once again in Ankh-Morpork, and none are too happy about it, all new characters with compelling side plots!

1. Chapter 1

Once again, we're back with probably our most interesting RPG yet. Written by the very talented boardies at the Terry Pratchett Message Boards on (the format of the board has changed drastically since this was written, thus all the threads from the old board were deleted, so unfortunately this is the only place you can view the RPG, 'cause I was quick enough to save it all to my computer) This was another RPG that was left unfinished, simply because some of the players had too much going on in real life to keep up with it, but it's still enjoyable, albeit darker than usual, enjoy!

The players are as follows:

Nathan – Jake

Talbot – Toothy

Verurteilen (Ver-ur-tye-len, it's German, look it up ;) ) – MrsWizzard (Me)

Illyah – Thumpy

Candice – Adie

Sasha – Jeannie

Kayla – Jock

Mirabell – Mina

Nathan sat on a chair and squinted into the bright light. He wasn't sitting there because he was tired or even because he particularly enjoyed being there, but rather because he was tied to it. At this precise moment he was trying to figure out where exactly the day had gone wrong, and was beginning to think it had been a mistake getting out of bed.

"You know, there are some people that might call this police brutality."

There was a pause that was just a little too long to be ominous and spoke rather of someone thinking very hard.

"Are any of those people in this room?"

Nathan thought about his answer and decided that yes or no were both bad ideas.

"I don't know, I can't see anything but the light your shining at me."

There was a whispered conversation which Nathan didn't even strain to listen in on, he Just sat and waited. Finally the light flicked off and as the purple and blue lights flashed in front of his eyes a voice spoke. This voice belonged to a formless mass that dodged between the purple and blue lights, it was a far shrewder voice.

"I am sergeant Roberts of the Ankh-Morpork city watch."

There was a pause as though he expected Nathan to clap at this information or perhaps quail in fear. Nathan was too busy wondering why this sergeant had just stated that he was part of the watch. How could Nathan not realise that, he was in a watch house, or more accurately, below one. The sergeant cleared his throat and continued.

"You have been accused of two counts of interfering with a professional in the execution of his duties and possibly murder. What do you have to say for yourself?"

First came relief, they had finally told him why they had dragged him out of his house and brought him down here, some of the questions the other voice had been asking him suddenly began to make sense. As what the sergeant said finally sank in though Nathan's relief swiftly went from incredulity to anxiety and hovered between the two.

"Hey. Wait. What? Possibly murder?"

Nathan remarked, very eloquently he thought, considering the circumstances.

"It says here that the Guild of Assassins has made a complaint about you. They claim that two contracts on two separate occasions were taken out on you. Each assassin that was sent after you has not been seen since, I believe they are quite put out."

Nathan blinked trying to take in what he'd just been told. It was true that Nathan's job occasionally brought him in contact with unsavoury characters, but who would want to kill him? A rival? A disgruntled customer? Actually thinking harder about it Nathan realised that there were in fact quite a few people that would like to see him lying face down on top of the Ankh.

"They were put out? Well I'm sorry they weren't able to kill me."

The sergeant, who Nathan was beginning to realise might sound shrewd but had no concept of sarcasm nodded curtly.

"Well it's too late for apologies now, they want to know what you've done with their students."

Again Nathan blinked and wondered if he was having a nightmare and if he was, he'd really like to wake up about now. Of course he did know about the assassins but he had come to the conclusion that saying it other than in the privacy of his own head would be a very big mistake.

"I don't know."

Roberts' eyes narrowed, it was clear he did not trust Nathan which was good as it was something that Nathan didn't always do himself.

"Really, well I think we'll extend you an invitation in the yard all the same, until we manage to clear things up."

A number of different responses piled through Nathan's mind "You can't do that", "That's unfair" which frankly seemed childish and "I'm innocent". Were a few of them, however what eventually came out was.

"What?"

A lumbering troll came forwards, hoisted him up and half dragged him away. He really didn't like police and to have them looking at his house and into his job could have the potential for making things very awkward. As the cell door closed behind him Nathan realised this was really not his day at all.

Down in The Shades, Talbot Grume stared into an alarming set of snarling teeth, bared menacingly by their owner. The aging werewolf had a very, very short temper and an equally limited capacity for mercy. Even the more robust residents of The Shades would hope never to find themselves eyeball to teeth with Old Maurice. He had a 'colourful' history.

Talbot turned away slowly and picked up a small long handled mirror and a probe.

"Now, Mr Maurice, open wide and let's see if there's been any damage. You had a nasty bump on the mouth, you say?"

"Gnrrrrrrnrrrnrnrr".

"Oh, really? A tree branch. Well, you know, if anyone can repair it, I can."

Humming gently to himself, the young dentist stepped forward and began methodically to check his patient's teeth, one by one. He seemed oblivious to the nature of the species sitting tensely in the chair in front of him and even to the impressive array of elongated incisors on display as Old Maurice dutifully opened his mouth just that little bit wider than the average Shades resident. Talbot didn't seem to notice. In fact, he seemed generally unaware of the world bustling around him. As long as he had a patient in the chair and the tools of his trade to hand, he was content to inhabit the solitary and dreamy world of his inner mind.

The moon had been well hidden behind heavy clouds for the past half hour and Old Maurice was feeling quite placid. He trusted Talbot and needed to keep his own original tools of the trade in good condition. Dentures just didn't 'cut it'. A sudden tap on the offending molar elicited a warning snarl.

"Ggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!"

"Aha! That must be the one, Mr Maurice. Now, where did I put that syringe."

Talbot turned away once more to search for the anaesthetic. He didn't like to be distracted in his work by sounds of pain. It was off-putting. Now where was that syringe?

The moon slowly began to emerge, a thin shaft of light illuminating the instruments on the aged oak table nearby. Slowly, the narrow beam moved inexorably towards the reclining chair, highlighting the hair on Old Maurice's arm. Almost imperceptibly, the tips of his teeth began to sharpen…

Waverly stood in the pitch black alley's mouth, fiddling nervously with his hat. It wasn't that he was in the middle of the shades, or even that it was the middle of the night, but it was more about who he was here to see that set him a bit on edge. He knew the rules, wait until you are called, stand quietly, no questions asked, and most importantly, never speak unless you are spoken to, and now he was growing more and more nervous with each passing second that he wasn't beckoned,

"Vell, don't just stand zere," came a raspy voice from the deep shadows of the alleyway, "Come in or go avay, I do not tolerate those who vaste my precious time" Wavely looked around quickly to make sure that no one was watching, before reluctantly stepping into the alleyway. He approached a shadow that seemed to be darker than the others and stopped

"Do not be so edgy, Mr. Vaverly," said the voice. Moonlight glinted off fangs as they grinned at the man cowering before them.

"The Assassin's guild will be on you and I if they see us here, my lady," he quavered. The toothy smile broadened, much to Waverly's discomfort.

"Do not vorry yourself about ze Assassin's guild, Mr. Vaverly," the fangs said, "Now, let us discuss vhat you are here for. Tell me again about zis 'contract' you vish me to take out against your vife."

"I will pay the sum of three thousand dollars," Waverly said, "I assure you, my lady, not a penny less." There was a few moments of silence before the fangs grinned a bit wider and took a few steps forward, causing Waverly to propell himself back a few steps

"Zis is an intruiging offer, Mr. Vavelry," said the approaching voice, now revealing a pair of silver eyes, "and I know you to be a man of your vord, but" the eyes and fangs suddenly lashed out and Waverly gave a short scream, which echoed off the walls of the alley, as he felt something sharp stab him beneath his ribs, and collapsed, his last sight being that of the silver eyes and fangs, both smiling.

"but, I'm afraid, zat Mrs. Vaverly has made me a much better offer, goodbye, Mr. Vaverly." and with that, Verurteilen pulled the brim of her hat down to cover her eyes, and jumped up, disappearing into the night

Illya sat on the roof of his boarding house like he did most nights, staring up at the twinkling lights above. He'd brought a small dinner of sorts and a blanket to make himself comfortable and simply watched.

Above him, the lights danced and winked on and off, moving slowly across the back-drop of night. He'd come out at night like this for as long as he could remember; as a child his mother gone frantic one night thinking he'd run off or been kidnapped. In the morning they'd found him out in the field, alseep in his blanket. He tried to tell them that he'd only wanted to see the lights, but mother had been a bit unreasonable about the whole thing.

Today there was nobody to worry about him, he could stay out as long as he liked.

Well, as long as he liked providing that he was able to wake up and get to work in the morning.

Work. Great.

Illyah, or Sergeant Kuryakin as he known to most, was the Supply Sergeant of the City Watch. He'd been with the Watch for some twenty years, eighteen of them behind a desk and he knew everything there was to know about the Watch - as long as it involved uniforms, armor, boots or pencils.

There has to be something more, he thought to himself as he pondered the future. I can't just sit and count arrow tips all day.

He had though. Marie had said once that all he would do for the rest of his life is sit in that office, read off lines of numbers and count arrow tips. "It's not like you even use them anyway! What good are arrow tips to the Watch? For the love of the gods - go do something with your life!"

But he hadn't - and she left shortly after. Now, years later, he was finally getting it. There must be something else out there for him.

Spreading out the blanket on the roof top, he made himself comfortable as he gazed once more into the heavens.

There has to be something else.

Candice slept. It had been a while since she'd last had a proper nights sleep, and would probably be a while longer yet. The kind of sleep she normally got never helped - despite how often she did it, sleeping during daylight hours was always a hard task. But the life style called for it. Even now it was a horrible restless sleep, as she kept waking up everytime she shifted. Something didnt feel right.

Her bed was amazingly comfortable and unamzingly expesive. Her fatheer had gone to a lot of effort to get it, so feathers in everything and silk sheets were the norm. Such a warm, comfortable bed... Candice was actually feeling rather cold, and through the throbbing headache she had realised that she'd kicked the doona off in her sleep. Hand searching for it, she found insttead a ratty old blanket. Her eyes opened fast, and she took in her surroundings.

oh crap it wasnt a dream

Through the blurry vision caused by the hangover Candice took in her surroundings. Three plain brick walls and one barred one greeted her, much to her dismay. Yep, she'd definatly been arrestetd last night.

The memories of what had happened came flooding back. One of the newer pubs in the City had paid her a lot of money to show up and party there for a few hours, as they'd realised that any place she visited immediatly became one of THE most popular places for young rich socialites to visit. Candice had shown up, drunk too much, posed for a few iconographers who took iconographs for the Really Well Known People weekly book and then...

And then. That was the bit she was unsure of. A vague recollection of taking her coach from her driveer while he wasnt looking and attempting to drive it herself came to mind, and then the absolute mayhem caused by said coach somehow ending up on its roof follwed that memory shortly after. Candice didnt know why she'd gotten arrested for that though, afterall, she'd done it a few times before.

Finally, she noticed the pile of clothing and the newspaper that had been placed at the door. Both were quite welcome. Attempting to reach the paper from the bench she was lying on, she overbalanced and fell to the ground. At least it was within reach now. She pulled it close, and glanced at teh front page. A piture of her accident was the main feature. Daddy was not going to be impressed.

Sasha was running, dodging past the carts and people that littered the streets of the city. The occasional curse followed her from the odd citizen that she hadn't been so successful in dodging but there was no time for her to stop and apologise, although even if she was out on a lazy octday stroll the likelihood of Sasha apologising for anything was as remote as Dibbler actually selling anything that could be classed as edible

A few feet back the reason for Sasha's getaway was keeping up with her remarkably well, weaving through the throng of obstacles and not taking his eyes of her for a second. The sunlight glinted off his shiny badge, his helmet had been discarded as too much of a hindrance, largely due to the watch policy of 'One size fits none'.

Must be a rookie, too damn keen to be a regular officer

even her thoughts seemed to pant with the exertion as she skidded around yet another corner, her heart feeling like it was going to burst out of her chest. Finally she saw her salvation a few feet away, she had just enough time to duck into the tiny stinking alley, trying not to wheeze too hard as she pressed her back up against the wall trying to ignore the slime covering the bricks, she was sure at one point it moved under her hands.
Sure enough the tall figure of the pursuing watchman raced straight past the alley, Sasha stayed still until his running footsteps had faded away up the narrow street. She rested her head against the wall and grinned to herself, her chest rising and falling as she sought to get her breath back. Her hair had fallen loose of the plait she had tied it in this morning and now long tendrils hung erratically around her face, she brushed them impatiently out of her eyes and walked quietly back onto the street looking cautiously at the direction the rookie had run in. She turned and began to sprint in the opposite direction, she manged to run about two feet before she ran into a wall.

The force knocked her back onto her backside and she looked up at the immovable object she had collided with. Not in fact a wall, but probably just as solid. The figure of Captain Carrot loomed over her, Sasha groaned. The effect Carrot had on her reminded her of the old woman who had lived two doors down from Sasha's family when she had been a small girl. Feeling for a brief moment as if she was five years old again and had dissapointed people with her bad behaviour, Sasha stood up, shook off the feeling, set her mouth in a determined expression and tried to sidestep around the Captain. A gentle yet immovable hand took hold of the top of her right arm. She tried to pull away, realised it was futile and sighed dramatically.

"Miss Sasha, I'm afraid you need to accompany me to the watch house."

Sasha feined wide eyed innocence

"What? Why? I haven't done anything, just minding my own business then one of your men started chasing me." She sniffed to add a bit of emotion to her drama "What's the city coming too when a young woman can't walk down the street with being stalked by a young man"

Admittedly Lance-constable Murphy had been following Sasha because she had been careless during her 'business' in the morning city crowds, pick-pocketing was illegal if you were non-guild and so as soon as Lance-constable Murphy had asked to see her guild card Sasha had, quite sensibly seeing as she didn't have one, bolted.

Captain Carrot was not stupid however, and soon Sasha found herself being dragged kicking and screaming into the watch house and down to the cells...okay, what actually happened was that she had been escorted quite civilly to the watch house, and Carrot had even offered her a cup of tea whilst she waited at the desk. Any chance of a grand entrance, with her spitting and cursing the stinking coppers who had dragged her to jail was also scuppered as he jovially walked her to an empty cell, held the door open for her and locked it up whilst telling her what was on the menu for lunch that day. Unbelievable, a copper being so civil. It was enough to shake her belief in human nature.

Scowling at nothing in particular, just annoyed she had got caught, Sasha sat down on the chair in her cell and took a good look through the bars at the occupants in the other cells

Verurteilen stalked the shadows, quite gracefully, completely out of sight of the idle watcher. She coutened her money as she stalked along. Mrs Waverly had only been too keen to pay her for her trouble.

Admittedly, she probaly should have hid the body rather than just leaving it in the alleyway, but she felt that would have lacked elegance and drama, something which the assassin's guild thought they were teaching, but even thinking about getting a liscence to go around and be an assassin just wasn't..proper! That was the trouble was with the assassin's guild, they just weren't proper assassins! It was all lessons this and exams that, these days, and true assassination was not an art that could be taught, it was a natural skill, you either had it or you didn't, and Verurteilen had it, neither the assassin's guild nor the city watch frightened her.

The sound of running feet and the form of a woman sped by Verurteilen, the sound of watch officers followed closely behind

"Still," Verurteilen said to herself, "It vould not be a vad idea to avoid them"

With one graceful leap, Verurteilen was off the ground, and landed elegantly on the top of a boarding house

Kayla was lost. She knew she should have stuck to the wide boulevards and recognisable buildings, but after the thief had taken her purse one thing had led to another, and now she was pretty sure she was in the Shades. She had a keen eye and had spotted the thief's getaway and followed keenly behind, thinking maybe to retrieve the 10 AM$ she had scrounged from her parents before taking off the previous day. After tailing her for an hour, Kayla had had thoughts only for the thief, which was probably why she hadn't seen the second thief, not as gentle as the first, who had quickly relieved her of her emergency dollar, leaving a dazed girl lying in a gutter. Now she was hungry, having not eaten for a day, and darkness had fallen bringing the rise of the full moon alongside the Tower of Art. She stumbled through the dark streets, holding the fear back from her face thought her fingers trembled, but couldn't hide the relief in her features when she spotted a small alley. Kicking every sack and box to check she wouldn't be accompanied by any unwanted sleepers, she settled into a dry corner, making herself as small as possible, and drifted into a disturbed sleep.

Nathan looked up from the newspaper he had managed to scrounge off of a guard and saw the genial captain Carrot escorting a young lady. They had brought another woman in during the night, but Nathan hadn't moved to take a better look at her as the wreak of alcohol that washed over him as she was carried past had told him all he needed to know. Leaving the paper on the narrow bench, Nathan walked to the bars to take a better look at the newest addition to the little group.

"It's very kind of you to visit me."

He remarked to the figure of Sasha sitting in the chair.

Nathan was a tall man with features that were handsome but not distinguishing. If you tried to describe him to someone they would just get a vague image of a tall good looking man. His eyes were a dark grey but in the torch light were a burnt orange. His clothes were of good quality, if a little scuffed and battered from their recent adventures. He gave Sasha a quick smile that spoke of genuine trustworthiness. Nathan was proud of his smiles, he needed to be trusted in his line of business or if not trusted then at least able to put people he spoke to at ease and the people he spoke to weren't generally easily 'eased'.

"I know what your thinking, but I've not done anything wrong, I'm helping police with their enquiries, look."

He raised his hands, the wrists of which were both tied a reasonable length of rope hanging between them so he could move them a little.

"They loosened the ropes."

Lowering them again Nathan slipped into the charismatic rote he maintained.

"I'm Nathan, Nathan Spree, Unfortunately I wasn't consulted on what name I would prefer."

He flashed another quick smile, this one was a slightly different smile though it was a private smile that gave you the impression you were intruding just by seeing it. It disappeared faster than the last though and the three of them were left in silence again.

Sasha looked over at the man who was speaking to her, she brushed back the strands of hair that insisted on falling in her face every two minutes and looked at him carefully. He had a very trustworthy smile, so Sasha immediatly dis-trusted him. Although to be fair, Sasha didn't trust anyone, not even herself. After all she'd gone and got herself locked up, so that just showed she couldn't be trusted

She grinned at his bindings "They must be expecting you to be very helpful"

Her hair fell down again and she scowled it it before brushing it back. It was a deep blonde colour and she wore it long, with the idea that is was easy to tie up out of her way, although her hair didn't seem to understand this and plagued her at every opportunity. Her eyes were blue, but not the usual 'blue as cobalt/a summers sky/a limpid pool', just a blue so dark they could almost be called smoky. There was nothing truly remarkable about her appearance, she wasn't exceptionally beautiful or hideously ugly which suited her down the the ground, a gorgeous pickpocket would never be overlooked enough to actually get on with her work. She was simply attractive enough to feel comfortable with herself but not enough that she attracted unwanted attention in a crowd. Her clothes were the practical kind, easy to run and climb in, she wore well fitted clothes but again this was practicality, the last thing a illegal thief wanted was clothes baggy enough to snag or catch on anything during a job or getaway. Not brightly coloured enough to jog anyones memory during a typical days work.

She smiled at Nathan and introduced herself

"I'm Sasha, Sasha Vine. I'm here because of a misundertanding"

Like misunderstanding there was a watchofficer behind me when I filched that purse

Illyah had dozed off at some point; he often did that during his quiet moments on the roof. Something had woken him - he was the kind that could sleep through anything once he was settled - but what that something was he couldn't tell.

The rooftop was completely dark as the little light from the street lamps didn't extend too far. He considered getting up and making his way to his bed, but couldn't motivate himself to stand up.

Just a little bit longer.

Losing himself once more, Illyah began to drift off again.

Verurteilen stood up to her full height and looked around in the darkness. She could hear the sound of the officer's feet as they ran away, probaly not having even noticed her. She smiled in the darkness. Those watch officers were so oblivious these days

Suddenly, she became aware of another heart beating besides her own on the roof. She looked over her shoulder and saw the sleeping form of a man on the roof with her, just barely visible in the moonlight. She walked over to him and looked down at him. Suddenly, a thought struck her. It had been a while since she had last eaten, and her fangs began to tingle at the sight of his unbitten neck. It was always easier for her when they were asleep, it saved for the trouble of all of that worthless screaming. Her toothy grin broadened for a moment, before she was interrupted by the presence of another beating heart approaching

Verurteilen looked over the edge of the roof and saw yet another watch officer walking along the street. Remembering something, Verurteilen reached into her cloak and pulled out an iconograph, she looked from the picture to the officer walking away and laughed to herself. She could still feel his heart beating, but she would be sure to remedy that. She leapt off of the roof and landed silenly behind the retreating corporal

"Corporal Mawler Sardent?" she whispered, he stopped and turned at the sound of his name, but it was too late. A moment later his corpse was laying in the street with a knife wound in his stomach, and to bite marks on his neck. Verurteilen walked away, wiping her mouth

Candice hadnt realised there were other people in the cells near her, and glanced up when she heard them talking. Across and to the left was an attractive but forgettable male tied to a chair - Nathan, she'd heard him say. She got up off the floor and walked to the bars to see who he was talking to. A blonde woman...Sasha... was in next to her.

Candice was attractive, and wasnt forgettable. People remembered what she looked like and who she was, even before her face had been printed constantly in Really Well Known People. Her hairpins had been confiscated before she was put into the cell (they were dangerous, apparantly...) so her mid length, straight, dark brown hair was framing her face. Candice never wore makeup - she'd discovered a while ago she looked better without it. Her eyes were amazingly green, and she was proud of them - in her oppinion, they were her best feature. Candice knew how attractive it was, and it didnt matter what she wore... She glanced down at what she WAS wearing. Her dress was expensive, and to her dismay, ruined.

One of the guards on duty in lockup had noticed she was awake, and came running over with a cup of coffee.

"Here you go Miss Meehan" he said, handing it over "I thought you might need it. So sorry to see you in here, my wife thinks you're fantastic."

"thankyou" she replied, and took a sip. It was just what she needed. The guard walked off. Candice moved away from the bars, placed the cup on the bench, and, ignoring anyone who could possibly see her, started to get changed.

"Just a sharp scratch, Mr Maurice!

Talbot was puzzled. The syringe was ready but where had the patient gone? The chair was empty. Oh dear. Another one frightened off by the needle! He sighed and was just about to replace the syringe on the table when he heard an unpleasant snarling coming from somewhere in the room.

"Hello? Is that you, Mr Maurice? You really mustn't make such a fuss about a little injection. It's very quick and much much better than a painful tooth."

A long shadow in the corner of the room seemed suddenly to grow larger and Talbot moved towards it looking puzzled. He felt a strange tension in the air and the snarling grew louder. Two bright yellow orbs were glistening in the darkness and there was a sudden bounding movement… just as the surgery door was flung open to reveal the shape of Igor in the entrance. At that moment a "Grrrrr…Ooooofff" was heard from behind the heavy door followed by the sound of a body sliding down the wall.

"Good evening, Mithter Grume. Thorry if I thurprithed you. I've got quite a few errandth to run tho had to thtart out early thith evening. What'th that noithe?"

Igor closed the door to reveal the crumpled heap of Old Maurice lying there, a dazed expression on his hairy face.

"Thorry, thur. I can't help making a dramatice entranthe. It'th tradithion. Are you alright?"

Between them, Igor and Talbot lifted the werewolf into the chair. The clouds had chosen this moment to drift in front of the moon once more and Maurice had reverted to his more 'normal' state, albeit a little more battered and bruised than a few moments ago and most definitely out for the count. Talbot surveyed the damage.

"I think he'll be alright, Igor, but you may have secured an extra tooth for your supplies this time. Just a moment."

With the werewolf oblivious to pain, Talbot took the opportunity to remove not one but now two damaged teeth and handed them to Igor, together with a small drawstring bag from an upper shelf. Old Maurice remained unconscious and peaceful.

"Here you go, Igor. And would you mind helping Mr Maurice home? I don't think he's in a fit state to go unaided?"

"Of courthe, Mithter Grume. I've got to path hith houthe on the way to my nektht athignment."

Igor lifted the werewolf onto his shoulders as if it weighed no more than a feather and, touching what would have been a forelock, had he had one, departed.

Talbot cleaned his dental instruments, arranged them neatly on the table and took his coat from a hook on the wall by the door. Time to head on home. It had been a long evening's surgery. Satisfying himself that everything was ready for the following day's work, he set out into the night, locking the surgery behind him.

Daydreaming (or rather night-dreaming) as usual, he would have had an uneventful stroll home if it hadn't been for the body he stumbled over shortly after he'd passed a small alleyway a few streets later…

Verurteilen idly tossed the iconograph picture of the coporal over her shoulder as she walked on, it was turning out to be a very profitable night. Deciding that she had served her duty for the night, Verurteilen decided to return to the makeshift alleyway that she called home. She stalked along the midnight dark streets until she came to the mouth of the alleyway. She suddenly stood frozen in her place as she spotted the dark form of someone stumbling over the body of what had once been Mr. Jacob Waverly

Moving quickly, but silently, Verurteilen suddenly materialized behind the man and held one of her various hidden knives up to his throat

"I have taken two live zis night," she hissed into his ear, "It vill make no difference for me to take vone more, unless you tell me vhat you are doing here, and who you are, zen I might just spare your life for zis night"

Mirabell Wren was sitting nervously in Lord Downey's office. She was in Trouble with a capital T. Lord Downey looked up and started speaking as her main tutor looked on.

"You are fully aware, are you not, that due to the recent circomstance, all students are forbidden from accepting contracts?"

"Yes sir."

"You were in full possession of these facts, yet yout still decided to accept a comission on the lawyer Mr Greenslade?"

Mirabell swallowed nervously, "Yes sir."

"With the intent of decieving the Guild and keeping payment which rightfully belonged to the guild?"

Here was a chance to explain! "No sir."

"No?" Downey looked at her questioningly.

"No sir, I would have paid it in the form of an anonyous donation, besides none of the money was for-"

"No matter," he interrupted "you attempted to pull the wool over our eyes. You acted illegally. Worse, you displayed enthusiasm."

Mirabell really did not like the way this was going.

"Enthusiastic assassins are no better than mass murderers. You should know that." Downey glanced at Mirabell's tutor, who nodded. "Assassins do not actively seek jobs, they are Approached. Since you did not have the Guild's approval, technically you have acted as an unlicenced assassin, and you know our outlook on those." Downey looked grave.

Ok, now I'm really in deep trouble! Mirabell started shaking, she had heard Stories of what happened to unlicenced assassins.

There was a long silence before Mirabell's tutor finally took pity and continued
"We will be leniant this time for two reasons: firstly because you did not succeed, and secondly because you are a student here. Do not expect this to save you a second time."

Mirabell let out a sigh of relief and nodded gratefully.

"But from now on you are banned from the black syllabus. You are to be suspended until further notice."

She began to panic again, this was terrible.

Downey spoke again "Before we make this final, do you have any explanation for your actions?"

She took a deep breath and started to speak quickly:
"I-I-I.. I had to! My family have no more money, they spent it on my Education here. They thought it would be an investment, after all, assassins are never short of money.. But they ran out too soon. I wanted to help them, and now you've taken away any ability I would have had to help them" she then added "That's why I took the job. Honest! I just wanted to help them." Mirabell didn't cry, because assassins didn't, but that didn't mean to say she didn't feel like it.

Lord Downey and the tutor looked at each other.

"You should have thought of that before. However.. there may be another solution" said Lord Downey slowly.

"Yes?"

"The Patrician needs new ..clerks, if you see what I mean, Things happened to the old ones. And one thing that assassins are good at is surviving Things. No one took him up on the offer, but I will inform him that you have volunteered."

"I have?" asked Mirabell, puzzled.

"Good! And who knows, when all that's all over, we may have changed our minds about your suspension eh?" Downey's eyes twinkled, and Mirabell couldn't help thinking that he seemed relieved. Still, she had no other option, so she nodded reluctantly.

"Go back to your room and pack. Someone will tell you what to do shortly."

Thankful, Mirabell, who preferred to be called Meera, scuttled off before Downey changed his mind.

"Well that's another problem solved" said Downey as he closed the door behind her.

Another quick smile flashed across Nathan's face once more.

"Yeah, those misunderstandings are a pain."

He would have continued but as he opened his mouth to speak again a guard entered followed closely by a figure clad completely in black. Despite himself Nathan took a tentative step back, becoming all too aware that he was in a cage and had no means of escape. The watch officer looked unhappy, it was obviously not usually allowed for civilians to come down here, but who was brave enough to say no to an assassin. The two locked gazes and for a long while the only sound was the spluttering torches and the nervous jingle of the watch officers keys.

"Where are our members?"

Nathan had thought it a bad idea to tell the watch, to tell The Guild of Assassins was guaranteed suicide.

"I don't know." He replied, his stare unwavering "Who took out the contracts on me."

The assassin snorted and turned away in apparent disgust.

"Professional etiquette prevents me from telling you that."

He looked back to Nathan.

"However, I am sure another will be taken out. I might even consider giving them a discounted rate. Think about it and then see if you can remember where our members are."

Wit that the assassin dropped a card through the bars, turned and left without waiting for the guard to follow. Nathan stood still looking at the card, he was clearly angry, but he did not smack anything, merely stared at the car wit ha gaze that should, by rights, have had it bursting into flames. Finally though his head came up and when it did he was perfectly calm again.

"As I said, misunderstandings, a real pain."

Illyah sat at his desk, having arrived to work early after a decent enough sleep on the roof. He hadn't planned to be up there all night but it had been so clear and the weather wonderful. A cup of coffee, his only weakness, sat on his desk next to what was left of his paperwork.

He'd completed the Lost Property forms, the Investigation Into Lost Property reports, the Issuance of Replacement Property documentation and was just signing the Purchase Order to Replace Replaced Property Inventory request.

"Strap, chin, helmet, size medium, one each." Satisfied that all was in order, he retrieved a new chin strap from the locker and placed it, with a copy of all the forms, reports, requisitions and requests into the envelope with the name of the careless officer on the front. Placing the envelope in the out tray next to the door, he sat down again to enjoy a quick sip.

Everything in its place and in its time, no less, had been his mantra all of his adult life. It kept the books clean, the supplies accounted for...and his socks organized. He felt people didn't pay nearly enough attention to their socks these days.

People didn't pay attention to much of anything these days in fact. They didn't see the cracks in the roads, the walls in need of repair, the broken street lamps; 'character' they called it! A right mess is what he called it and something should be done. He had half a mind to send a letter to Vetinari outlining the need to repair some of the basic structure of the city. Okay, so maybe they didn't need water pumped into their homes everyday , but they should at least expect to be able to walk down the street without falling into a great big chasm!

Something should be done about things like that. It's not right that the citizens of this fine city should have to live in such conditions.

If I ever see that Vetinari, I'll give im a piece of my mind! It's just not right!

It wasn't; just last week ol' Mr Johnston fell off the bridge onto the river! If he hadn't landed on a soft spot there could have been a real injury there. Nobody had bothered to report the loose whatsit because it wouldn't have been fixed anyway.

Oh well, it wasn't as if Illyah would ever actually have the opportunity to speak with the Patrician; supply sergeants never got assigned to palace details or invited to posh dinners.

He was just about to dig into the latest delivery of 'hammer, manually operated, right hand use, ten each,' when there was a knock at his door.

"Oy Sarge! Commander wants you take the new budget proposal up to the palace, says you have to personally hand it to Vetinari."

Before Illyah could protest, a package was pressed into his hand.

"You'll have a coach from the post office outside in two minutes."

"But I haven't finished my coffee yet."

"Yeah, a pain in the...ah, looks like it's my turn"

A young blonde woman in watch uniform had come down the steps and approached her cell. Sasha simply sat and watched as the door was unlocked and the woman stood in the opening with her arms folded. Sasha stood up

"Well, it's about time. You're here to tell me this is all a mix up and I'm free to go right?"

The woman with sergeant stripes simply gave a half smile

"Considering how many people want to press charges against you that's the funniest thing I've heard all morning." She produced a set of handcuffs and jingled them "You do get a complimentary set of bracelets though." Sasha could have protested but the woman's grip was so strong on her arms as she clasped the cuffs behind Sasha's back that she quickly dismissed the idea. Another smile from the officer as she stood back

"Huh, they suit you. Walk straight out of your cell and up the stairs please. It's time for a little chat about what exactly the Thieves Guild think of illegal theft"

Damn it!

She was escorted past the other cells towards the stairs that led back up the rest of the watch house. As she walked she looked at the woman lying on the ragged bed in one of the tiny barred rooms. Looked like she'd had a good night out , but before she could make any further observation Sasha was taken by the arm and firmly escorted upstairs then into a tiny office. The furniture was simple, a desk with a chair on either side and a pile of papers was the only thing occupying the wooden surface of the desk. Sasha was seated in one of the chairs and craned her neck to see what was on the papers whilst the officer took the seat opposite.

The woman had an unarguable air of authority about her, and lent back casually in her seat as she picked up the papers, re-read them infuriatingly slowly then looked over at Sasha over the top of them

"Let's get the formalities out of the way. I'm Sergeant Jeannie and you Sasha Vine are in deep trouble." she tossed the papers back onto the desk where they spread out slightly, Sasha resisted the urge to read them and instead kept her gaze firmly on the Sergeant whilst the woman read out the list of charges against her.

After a while Sasha's backside started to go numb and she had begun to wear a glazed look, when she realised the woman had stopped talking. She blinked and refocused

"So basically a lot of people think I robbed them, and the Thieves Guild want you to hand me over"

"In a nut shell, yes. I don't think you understand the severity of this situation. In the few months you have been in this city you have chalked up so many illegal thefts that I'm not even going to bother reciting the numbers. Despite the witnesses we have you have managed to evade arrest no less than six times and even the Thieves Guild couldn't figure out how to find you, you're lucky we caught up with you first"

Sasha shuddered, she knew the penalty dealt by the Thieves Guild on unlicensed thieves only too well. Yet she had carried on stealing anyway. She tutted at herself, some people just had to learn the hard way. Leaning forward she spoke in a stage whisper

"I tell you what, you accidentally release these cuffs and go get a cup of coffee. I'll slip out the door and be on the first coach out of here. You won't have to worry about all the tedious paperwork you'll have to fill in about me and the Thieves Guild wont have to waste their time looking for me and, most importantly I feel, I'll not end up decorating the Guild weather vane"

The sergeant gave her a raised eyebrow that Vetinari would have been proud of. Sasha sat back

"No? Okay, how about I turn Kings Evidence and tell you everything I know about the evil gang leader who corrupted me, who forced me into a life of crime to help fund his dastardly plan to take over the world..."

The same steely glare answered her question

"Not buying that one either huh? Okay, how about..."

"How about you shut up and listen. You are under arrest Miss Vine, every single name on this list belongs to someone who wants to press charges against you. You will be tried and then earn yourself a nice long stay at the luxury accommodation known as the Tanty."

"Did you just tell me to shut up? I'm sure you can't say that, that's probably a form of police brutality..."

The officer sighed, rubbed her face with her hands then stood up...

...A few moment later Sasha was once again in her cell, scowling at the back of the blonde haired officer as she returned upstairs with the rest of her fellow officers. She looked over at Nathan and shrugged

"There's just no talking to some people"

Talbot froze. The Shades was not a place to be waylaid, especially at night but, for reasons he had yet to fathom, Talbot's clients mainly seemed to ask for late appointments and he was familiar with the hazards of the journey home. With a sharp blade at his throat, he was acutely aware that compliance was a life-extending strategy as was responding to the questions he had just been asked... by a woman? Gulping slightly, he spoke.

"My name is Talbot Grume and I'm the local dentist. I was just on my way home from surgery. Er, can I help you?"

Almost imperceptibly, Talbot turned his head to the left and caught a glimpse of a sharp incisor glinting menacingly in the moonlight. While he was known for being somewhat 'vague' in everyday affairs, when it came to teeth, Talbot was an expert – the best – and that tooth in particular looked very familiar…

Verurteilen sighed inwardly with relief. At least he's not a vatch officer, she thought to herself, I could make a fair case if I had a contract on his head, if he vere an officer, but even zen I'd still be in some deep trouble

Verurteilen took her knife away from the man's throat, and spun him around to face her

"Listen, Mr. Grume," she hissed, replacing the blade in her cloak, "I am not a particularly evil vampire, and killing vithout payment is beyond my boundaries. You vere lucky zis night. I vish I could say ze same for him" she gestured toward Jacob Waverly's body still lying stone dead on the ground, "You seem like sensible man, Mr. Grume," she continued, "It vould do you good to forget zat you saw zat corpse, or I might just have to set aside my limits, or perhaps take on a still living meal" in the twinkling moonlight, she bared her fangs, that were still stained with the blood of corporal Sardent

Candice had just finished changing into a clean dress when she spotted the assassin with the guard, so she retreated back to the bench, hoping he wasnt there for , the assassin seemed more interested in Nathan. Although he acted cocky and unfazed, she'd seen his little step back. He was worried. But then, Candice reasoned, she'd be worried too if the assassins were interested in her. Daddy couldnt fix ALL her issues...

The assassin dissapeared, and soon after, a watchwoman appeared and started to speak to the blonde. Escorting her out of the cell, Candice managed to get a better glance of her neighbour. Then she lay back down and closed her eyes, as the coffee hadnt helped as much as she'd hoped.

Candice woke up when Sasha was brought back to the cells. She heard her comment, and grinned.

"You two are screwed" she laughed, then heard the entrance to the cells open again. A small amount of light spilled in, but was immediatly blocked out by a human wall.

The human wall was Steven Meehan. Most peoples first impression of Steven Meehan was that a troll had found human skin. The man was huge. he was also as scary as a troll, and the people who had to deal with him feared him as much as they did Chyropase*. He was a debt collecter, and a successful one at that. he didnt even need to use violence anymore, or even work himself. Just the threat of violence, usually passed on by one of his employees was enough to get his target to hand over what was owed. he charged a lot for this service, a lot more than his compeditors, but his work was 100% garunteed.

So the fact that it was Steven Meehan that was walking, unarrested, into the cell block and NOT one of his employees would worry most people. Candice wasnt though. He stopped outside her cell, and sighed. Candice grinned at the sight of him.

"Hi Daddy!"

*apologies for spelling...

The clerk sat at his desk and straightened his papers, not because they needed straightening but just because he imagined that is what a busy clerk is supposed to do. At the moment he wasn't a busy clerk, he was a harassed clerk. Lord Vetinari was in his office and the clerk knew that in his schedule he was to meet a candidate to take on the roll of "Ankh-Morpork Tax Co-ordinator". The post had been advertised for as long as the clerk could remember and this was the first candidate that had applied for the job. The applicant was either very brave or very stupid, perhaps it was both. It certainly would take a 'special' person to want to take the job and the clerk couldn't help but be curious. His curiosity however was waning as time ticked by and no one arrived.

A few minutes later, once the clerk had developed a quick game involving a sheet of paper a file and two dollar coins, the door opened and in walked…a watch officer? He was carrying a package.

"At last" the clerk said tartly "where have you been? You're late"

With an air of someone who has better things to do with his time he walked quickly around the table, placed a firm hand on the back of the man who'd just entered and pushed him towards the oblong office. The man with the package was saying something, but the clerk was not listening, instead he knocked on the oblong office door opened it and thrust the man through, closing it behind him. The clerk wondered if he should take part in the sweepstake on how long the tax co-ordinator would survive.

Lord Vetinari looked out of the window at the bustling city below, all those people spending and making money. Vetinari knew that there many that thought the city worked oddly, but he would always point out that strange perhaps, but it worked. He heard the door open and shut and 'felt' the presence of someone else in the room, but still he did not turn. He placed his pen down and turned around.

"Good morning, I hear that you are interested in becoming tax co-ordinator for the city."

He sat down, not offering the man before him a seat.

"Tell me a few of your ideas."

Vetinari finally said, steepling his fingers.

Sasha watched the huge man walk across to the womans cell and was about reply with a childish "Hah! Now who's screwed?" when the woman greeted him as her father.

Bugger

Instead she resumed her sitting position and passed about five minutes by releasing her rebellious hair and re-tying it. It took all of about four seconds for the first stray tendril to tickle her nose, she blew it out of the way and it floated for a moment then drifted back down. She blew it again, and again...finally she got bored of the battle with the rogue tendril and she rested her elbows on her knees and leant forward cupping her chin with her hands. She looked down at the card on the floor of Nathans cell then looked up at him. Trouble with the Assassins Guild? Interesting. But even her natural curiosity knew better than to ask, besides a good mystery was fun, mainly to do with it being...well, mysterious really. Sasha shifted in her seat, beginning to feel bored now. She looked over at Nathan

"You finished with that newspaper?"

Sergeant Kuryakin had arrived at the palace by mail coach and was under the impression that he could have made better time walking the whole way.

To be told he was late on arrival was neither here nor there as there hadn't been a specified time set to deliver the budget. He'd tried to explain this to the clerk, but the man had hussled him into the office so quickly he barely had time to register where he was.

As soon as the door closed behind him, it became clear. The room was elegant, but not overly so; it had style, but also looked functional - practical might be the word. In fact everything he'd seen of the palace gave him the impression that it was designed by someone who thought government offices should be able to withstand an attack from several seige machines over the course of many months.

The Patrician had turned to look at him and Illyah got the distinct impression that he was the mouse - to Vetinari's cat.

"Tax coordinator? Oh no, sir, I'm just here to drop off the budget recommendations for the Watch, I...

Hold on a second.

Hadn't he just been thinking not a few minutes ago that if he ever had the chance to give Vetinari a piece of his mind - he would?

But no, that wouldn't be right somehow. I'm just a supply sergeant...

"I'm just a supply sergeant, er the supply sergeant for the Watch your lordship, I'm not a...that is to say I...

Well now, go on - you started this!

"Well, now that you mention it, I guess I do have some ideas." Noticing that Vetinari had seated himself behind the desk - and not seeing a chair in front of the desk for himself, Illyah looked around until he spotted one against the far wall. Grasping the heavy chair and dragging it across the floor with all his strength, Illyah positioned himself directly in front of the Patrician.

"You see, your lordship, the way I figure it, people shouldn't be able to fall off'n the Brass Bridge because the whatsit was broken - that shoulda been fixed as soon as it fell off. And...and I don't think little ol' ladies should have to be afraid of goin' to market because of the horses and coaches takin' up the streets with no regard for people walkin' along mindin' their own business."

He was starting to warm up to this without even having to try.

"People need to be able to see when they walk at night; how are they supposed to tell when they're being robbed by an honest-to-goodness, card-carrying guild memeber? And there should be proper alleys and corners for assassins to hide in, not the kind we got through most of the city. Isn't right somehow! I think the citizens of this fine city should know that people like you, sir, your lordship...er, you know - are going to provide some basic services to them simply because they are citizens. Heck, they could go live anywheres else, but they don't. They stay here 'cause this city is the best on the Disc and everyone knows it."

Then he went and stuck his foot in his mouth.

"So what if they have to pay a few dollars extra in taxes every month...I mean, year. They are paying to help you, sir, your lordship, you know - help them. I just think it's a shame that those wizards over in their fancy university don't help pay any taxes! That's just not right. Not right at all. The guilds can stand to pay a bit extra as well and all."

Had he been rambling? He wasn't sure.

"Anyway, if you ask me, I think we need better city services and a better way of making sure we have enough money in the city budget to pay for things like that."

He hadn't taken his eyes off of Vetinari the entire time he spoke, his hands gripped the arms of the chair until his knuckles turned white and only now did allow himself a chance to breathe.

The look from Vetinari hadn't changed at all. Had the man even blinked? Illyah couldn't tell.

"Sorry your lordship, it's just that I've been thinking about this a lot lately and it kind of gets my hair up."

Setting the Watch proposal on the desk, Illyah finally sat back in the chair and contemplated his future as an ex-Watch officer once Vimes heard about this.

Talbot looked into the mouth of his assailant. Very little surprised him these days, only…

My word those are spectacular teeth!

"Fine. Fine. Er. Thank you… I think. Er… I hope you won't consider me impertinent but I'm something of a dental connoisseur and I feel compelled to say that you have the most impressive incisors I have ever seen! Beautiful, in fact!"

He had been about to step forward for a closer look but a distant relative of instinct knocked very firmly somewhere inside his brain to alert him to the fact that that might just be a foolish, if not terminal movement. He recovered his balance and stood still.

"Yes. Er… beautiful. Thank you. I'd make sure you keep up a good dental routine, if I were you. Oh, and my practice has some very eminent clients. The Magpyrs always fly in whenever they're in town. I'd be honoured if you ever chose to grace my surgery. Yes. Hmmm."

They really were works of art, those teeth.

Just at that moment, Talbot became aware of Igor standing beside him.

When did he arrive?

"Thorry to intrude, Thur, Madam, but doeth anyone want that body? There'th thome utheful thpare partth on it and it would be a thame to wathte them."

Talbot shook his head, shrugged and, with a brief smile at Verurteilen, resumed his journey home. Before turning the corner at the end of the street, he looked around briefly to see Igor still busy, investigating the potential of the corpse.

Verurteilen almost jumped back when Talbot began talking. This wasn't how it usually went. It usually resulted in the offending person bolting off in terror, but here this madman stood there talking about her teeth!

"Er, thank you," she said, uncertainly, "I think. Er, yes, maybe I vill stop by sometime."

She stood there for a few moments, as she watched Talbot walk away, and began trying to figure out what on earth had just happened, until she noticed the Igor examining the corpse that was still on the ground

"You might as vell take him," she said, absently, "It vould actually ve doing me a favor, no use for good advertising, having my clientele lingering around ze place..Er, enjoy, I guess."

Rubbing her head in some mild confusion, Verurteilen edged her way into the alleyway, leaving the Igor to his work, or whatever it was he was planning to do with the body. She stepped into her three walled home and tossed her hat absently to one corner. She looked into the piece of a broken mirror that she had hanging on one of the back walls, and she saw reflected back at her in the glistening moonlight, what could have actually been cleaner and shinier fangs

Madman or not, she thought to herself, he seemed to know what he was talking about..perhaps tomorrow she sighed and made herself comfortable in the far back corner, behind some trash cans, and, undoing her hair tie, let her dark brunette hair cascade down in a waterfall around her shoulders. She sat in the darkness, using her hat as a makeshift pillow

Candice's father had been let into the cell to sit with her.

"what do you mean they're not letting me out?" Candice was shocked. She'd honestly thought that all the punishment she was going to get was the night she'd spent in the cells. As far as she was concerned, she hadnt done anything that was really wrong. little known to her, the accident she'd caused had disrputed most of the traffic flow of the city, and flow on effects had affected it all day.

Her father sighed. "this is the third time you've done this. They've stopped believing that you'll learn this time. I'm sorry Candy, but you wont get off with just a warning this time."

She was devastated.

"Then what?"

"i'm working on getting you community service or a good behaviour bond."

"oh." She was about ready to cry. He pulled her close to comfort her.

"I'll see if i can get you out in the meantime. It hurts me to see you in here. But if i do, they're not going to want you heading out partying. you'll have to keep a low profile."

He stood up to leave. "Hang in there. I'll make sure you're looked after."

He left, and the door was locked behind him.

Sasha grinned at the woman in the other cell as her father left. She crossed her arms and carried on grinning, trying to suppress...no here it came...

"Hah! Now who's screwed?"

She nodded to herself in satisfaction, and brushed her hair out of her eyes.

Kayla woke to a cold morning, the night's chill not quite gone from the winter air. As she slowly came to, her stomach once again reminded her of the food she hadn't eaten and her numb fingers and toes of her clever forgetting of any form of blanket. Rising to her feet, she spotted a figure sharing her alley, and carefuly stepped around it before making off into the city.

Verurteilen shifted in her sleep, causing her hat to fall out from behind her head, and her head to collide with the wall. She sat bolt upright, rubbing her sore head, and focused her eyes in time to see a girl walking out of the alley. She simply shrugged as the girl left, and leaned back against the wall

Like she said, Verurteilen was not a particularly evil vampire. She didn't like many people, her job as a nonguild assassin usually keeping her on the run, and the people hiring her simply came to her for the business, not the company. Still, she supposed, it couldn't be all that bad, her job kept her well fed, though, admittedly, she preffered a living meal to the cold lifeless necks of her victims

Deciding that now that her mind was active, and that she'd never get back to sleep because of it, Verurteilen sat up and looked up to the sky

A vit cloudy today, she thought, Vut, I should probaly take my hat vith me, anyvay

With a yawn, Veurteilen stood up and stretched, before tying her hair back with her black ribbon,* putting her wide brimmed hat on, and walking out of the alley into the new morning

*a real ribbon, Verurteilen would curse herself the day she actually joined a vampire support group

Candice was about to reply with an equally childish comment, but instead bit her tongue*, and sat down, suddenly looking very scared and lost. Her head bowed slightly, hair falling in her face, she seemed to project this aura of innocence.

within moments of her doing so, a bright light filled the cell block. The light dissapeared as quickly as it had arrived. THen the sound of running feet, follewed by an 'Oof', the universal noise of someone who's lost all their air because a fat man landed on them.

The cause off all the fuss was soon revealed as he was frogmarched past her cell. Candice wasnt surprised, really, she always seemed to know when a iconograph was being pointed at her. But she hadnt expected one to break into police lockup to get a picture...the sight of who it was being taken past her cell explained it, though. IT was the same man who'd snuck into her house and taken a picture of her in the bath.

*literally, it brought tears to her eyes

Vetinari's expression never changed, he watched the man actually find a chair and drag it to the desk, something he had never seen anyone else do before and yet it was certainly a logical thing to do. Still Vetinari raised an eyebrow at the Sergeant's back but he resumed his intent silence as the man took his seat and began speaking. As each idea was presented before the Patrician he weighed it and looked at it from a number of angles, but he made no comment or elaboration. Finally when the Sergeant had finished he still did not speak, instead the sound of the ticking clock filled the silence.

"So, you are suggesting that we demolish and rebuild buildings in order to accommodate easier legal assassinations?"

Vetinari finally asked, his voice seeming genuinely curious. He waved the man to silence when a response was evident.

"Getting the citizenry to part with any amount is difficult to increase that amount? Well….."

He left the remainder of the thought unvoiced. Standing he moved to the window and stared out at the city that worked.

"It will certainly be interesting to see how you get money from the guilds and the wizards" he allowed himself a private smile "very interesting indeed."

Turning around he moved back to his chair, but remained standing.

"You will start tomorrow, there is a government wage of course and I have arranged for some help in the form of a staff, not the best I'm afraid but certainly a vibrant cross section of The City."

Drumknot appeared silently and came in with a number of files, one of which she silently handed to Vetinari. Opening it he looked inside and leafed through a few pages before handing it to Kuryakin.

"The rest of what you need to know is explained there, I will of course expect progress reports. The file also includes brief profiles of your staff in order to help you memorise names etc. Now, I'm sure that you are very busy, please don't let me detain you."

Once the Sergeant had left Drumknot cleared his throat.

"I am afraid to say sir, that was not the correct candidate, there appears to have been a mix up."

The private secretary said this as though it were being dragged from him, the very idea that something had gone awry seemed to cause the man physical pain. The Patrician remained seated, his pen hovering over a page.

"I am quite confident that there was no mix up Drumknot."

"Yes sir." Replied the secretary.

Nathan handed Sasha the paper and watched as the large man entered and spoke to the girl in the other cell. He felt his eyes roll before he could stop himself. He was in a click, rich father has spoilt child, spoilt child has lesson taught to her by father, Nathan wondered if this girl would go through the transformation and become a level headed girl who was actually pleasant to be around, not that it really mattered Nathan wasn't the one that was going to have to spend time with her. He looked up at the door, it had opened again.

"Wow, this place is a hive of activity and there was me thinking that we were going to be bored."

It was captain Carrot again, he came down the stairs and with a pleasant greeting and an inquiry after how they were all doing, handed them a letter. Opening his he realised it had the Patrician's seal on. Nathan realised this was probably a letter he was going to have to sit down for.

Dear Mr Spree,

I have been made aware of your situation and wish to help you remedy this predicament.

Already Nathan felt uneasy, this was just a letter, he had would hate to find out what it was like to meet the Patrician in person. Nathan looked up and realised that Carrot was still standing there waiting patiently for something.

It happens that there is a vacancy within the government that requires a number of your unique talents. There is a wage and many opportunities for a dynamic and enthusiastic person like yourself. It also will offer you the chance to perform an 'honest' days work.

Again Nathan had to pause in his reading to blink and wonder if he really was awake.

I refer to employment within the small, but budding tax office for Ankh-Morpork.

Nathan exploded into laughter, which was quickly cut off as his surroundings became evident to him once more.

"Sorry, but he can't be serious." He said lamely to the room in general.

I assure you that I am perfectly serious

Now that was weird.

It would of course mean that the investigation into the disappearance of the two assassins not to mention the complaints against you made by the thieves guild would be suspended.

Ah, now that was an attractive idea, of course he had nothing to do with those disappearances, at least that is what he would continue to insist.

Of course I am sure that you were not involved in any way with these incidents

Seriously, The Patrician appeared to be able to have a conversation with you through a letter, it was creepy.

However I realise that a citizen's own time is precious and a great deal of time remanded in custody might have a detrimental effect on their business. It could be a very considerable amount of time that you are kept as a guest of the watch. I urge you to consider carefully and give your answer to captain Carrot. I would also like to stress that this offer has a limited life and will expire once the captain leaves the room.

The patrician's signature followed and Nathan's eyes were fixed upon it, his mind spinning wildly. Looking up to make sure Carrot was still in the room he watched the expression on the others faces, to see if their letters were from the same person and having the same effect on them. Nathan did his best to control his expression, but he had the distinct impression he looked like he'd just been smacked very hard in the face.

Sasha had gratefully taken the newspaper from Nathan, had sat herself on the floor and was leaning against the iron bars working her way through the daily crossword. Due to the watch confiscating her belongings and most inconsideratly not leaving any handy sharp objects, like a pencil, in her cell she was mentally inserting the answers. She frowned at the fourth clue "Wine left behind at sea? Oh come on, how easy is that!" She folded the paper and tossed it besides her, disgusted at the lack of effort whoever wrote these puzzles had put in. She was sure this exact same crossword had been in one of last weeks issues too. Perhaps if she managed to get out of here she could get a job with the newspaper, Sasha loved a good puzzle and was sure she could do a much better job at the crossword than their current creator but...working for a paycheck? Where was the fun in that?Besides she had been a thief ever since she was tall enough to reach into pockets, if you were good at somthing you should stick with it.

She heard footsteps coming down to the cells and smiled at Nathan

"Well, aren't we the popular bunch?"

Her smile turned into an expression of wary confusion as she took the letter that was thrust through the bars. Captain Carrot stood silently as each of them read their letter.

Dear Miss Vine

Her eyes dropped to the bottom and she saw who the letter was from...Argh! The Patrician knew about her! This couldn't be good. Her eyes went back up to the top and raced along the next line of the letter.

I have been made aware of your situation and wish to help you remedy this predicament.

Okay, sounded good so far but a bad feeling started to churn in her gut. People never offered help if they didn't want something in return. Why the Patrcican of all people?

It happens that there is a vacancy within the government that requires a number of your unique talents. There is a wage and many opportunities for a resourceful and enthusiastic person like yourself. It also will offer you the chance to perform an 'honest' days work.

oh gods, there it was, an honest days work? Today was getting worse by the second. Sasha groaned aloud, realised she had done it and looked up.

"Sorry, but this has got to be a joke right?"

She continued to read

I can assure you this is no jest

Argh!

I refer to employment within the small, but budding tax office for Ankh-Morpork

Sasha relaxed but only slightly, Tax Office? That was basically stealing peoples money wasn't it? Okay maybe this wouldn't be so bad.

The rest of the letter read pretty much the same as Nathans, with the promise of all her troubles with the Thieves Guild being suspended and the reminder that she could otherwise be spending a very long amount of time behind bars.
When she had finished she looked back up at Captain Carrot, glanced down to the letter and across at Nathan. From the look on his face his letter had been along similar lines

"Let me guess, that letter isn't to invite you for drinks and canapes?" She didn't wait for an answer, she just stared stunned at the parchment in her hand "No, mine neither"

Candice was about to brag that she'd received a letter from the Patrician when she realised that the other two had as well, so she kept her mouth shut and read the letter.

Dear Miss Meehan

I have been made aware of your situation and wish to help you remedy this predicament.

Candice hoped that this meant that the letter was an official apology, but the next line said otherwise.

It happens that there is a vacancy within the government that requires a number of your unique talents. There is a wage and many opportunities for a confident and enthusiastic person like yourself. It also will offer you the chance to perform an 'honest' days work

A job? Candice had never worked a day in her life. Her father had made sure she didnt need to. He'd told her as much. Well, she'd let him know about this. Daddy didnt want her working, it suggested he couldnt look after her. He was gonig to be SO mad.

I have spoken to your father regarding this, and he feels that it will be of some benefit to you.

no... How could he?

I refer to employment within the small, but budding tax office for Ankh-Morpork.

"Whats tax?" Candice asked out loud, but didnt really pay attention to the answer, if any was even given.

The rest of the letter basically stated that she would spend a long time in the Tanty if she didnt accept, as the situation really was worse than what she had thought, and that working for a wage really was preferable to the tanty. She was about to demand to speak to her father, but didnt when she realised captain Carrot was about to leave.

"Ok! She called after him. "i'm in. I'll work!"

Sergeant Kuryakin walked back to the Watch House after waving the coach away. He'd spent most of that time in a daze, tyring to figure out where things had gone sideways on him.

Tax coordinator? Me? That can't be right, I only wanted to talk to him...

This wouldn't go over well with Vimes at all and Illyah knew there would be a great fuss; Sam Vimes didn't mind so much if his officers retired, transfered or died - but to have one plucked out from under him by the Patrician was going to cause a mess.

Finally getting back to his office, Illyah sat behind his desk and opened the file. Inside were pages of information about his new 'staff' - none of whom he'd heard of before.

Hey, now that's going to be different - I have staff! What he was going to do with them yet he had no idea; having been the manager, core staff and secretary of his own department for so long, he was sure he could find something for them to do.

"Probably lots of forms and such to fill out. Lots of filing, that sort of thing."

Sitting back in his chair and putting his feet up on the desk, Illyah began to think of all the good he'd be able to do for Ankh Morpork; he could see to it that there was enough money for new roads, fresh water, maybe even some more golems for the fire brigade. Did they have a brigade? The last he saw it was three golems sitting in an old stable playing cards.

As more ideas popped into his head, he tried to figure out all the different ways in which a city such as this could bring in tax money. He realized that he knew next to nothing about it.

People just pay...taxes...They just pay, don't they?

Speaking of people, how exactly was he going to get the wizards to pay?

As Candice asked her question on tax Nathan laughed again.

"That seems like the sort of question most of the people in Ankh-Morpork will ask."

So they had all got the same letter, what was going on? Candice's call to Carrot made Nathan realise the guard was leaving, deciding he was jumping from the frying pan and into a very hot and cunning fire, but also realising that the fire was ahead of him and he was in the frying pan now he grabbed the bars to his cell.

"Count me in to captain."

He looked at Sasha and shrugged

"Anything's gotta beat sitting here right?"

Carrot turned to Sasha, obviously waiting for her response.

Well as reckless as Sasha was sometimes, she was far from stupid. She basically had three choices, death from the Thieves Guild, years in prison courtesy of the watch or to take up Vetinaris offer. It was a simple matter that took her a mere few seconds to consider, she looked over at the other two, nodded at Nathan and shrugged as if to gesture 'Ah what the hell'.

"Make that three Captain, I'm in"

Reaching the door of his home, Talbot rummaged in his coat pocket for the door key. Ah, there it was. As he pulled it out of his pocket, something was dragged out with it and fell to his feet. Bending down to pick it up, Talbot saw that it looked like a business card with the words 'The Fresh Start Club' emblazoned across it and an address.

I wonder where that came from? Perhaps it belonged to one of his clients. He'd had a rather… er…varied selection lately. Maybe he'd been given it along with payment for treatment and not noticed. That would be typical of him!

Shrugging his shoulders, Talbot replaced the card in his pocket. He wasn't sure what use it was to him at the moment. After all, he was very much alive… at least for the time being… and he was too useful to his clients to be in danger so far. Ah well.

Entering the house, Talbot collected the post from the doormat. They were mostly letters from dental equipment suppliers. Among them, however, was a small package. Ah! That'll be from Igor. Sure enough, the parcel contained a wad of Ankh Morpork Dollars. You could always rely on Igor for a quick turnaround on body parts and he was a good payer. All being well, he'd soon have enough to move to Lancre and leave his past behind him. Talbot put the money in a tin on the mantelpiece and poured himself a glass of wine.

It had been a long night and he was looking forward to some well-earned sleep. He'd already eaten earlier during a break in appointments so, taking a lighted candle and topping up the wine, he headed off up the stairs for what remained of the night. All being well, he would sleep late into the morning.

Verurteilen decided to have breakfast at he favorite cafe, a small one run by some dwarves, just off of Market Street, where she sat at one of the slightly undersized chairs, with her feet resting up on an equally slightly undersized table, and with a copy of the Times in her hands

A few moments later, Nijel Ironhammer, the owner of the cafe, came up to Verurteilen's table, holding a glass in one of his hands

"Here's your usual, Miss Verurteilen," he said, placing the glass on the table, "a pint of cow's blood"

"Thank you, Nijel," she said, looking up from the paper. She put the glass's straw to her mouth when she noticed something small and black wrapped around it. Taking it off carefully, she noticed that it was a small black ribbon

"Are you trying to tell me something, Nijel?" she said, coldly, "because you know zat I do not tolerate being buggered vith"

"It was merely a suggestion, my dear, I assure you," he said, backing away a little bit, "you know, it might just be a good idea to wear a black ribbon, even just a fake one, it will certainly keep suspicions down" He stood in awkward silence as Verurteilen gave him a long glance, before she smilled and gave a little laugh

"You are right, of course, my dear friend," she said, Nijel relaxed, as he always did when Verurteilen called him a friend, because a friend of Verurteilen's was ensured to have a good long life ahead of him "I suppose zat it could not hurt" with that, Verurteilen placed the false black ribbon on the outside of her midnight black cloak

"Nijel," she went on, after taking a sip of her glass of cow's blood, "do you know of anyvone by ze name of Talbot Grume?" the dwarf scratched his head in vague recolection

"I think so," he said, "I believe that he is a dentist who has his practice out in the Shades" Verurteilen nodded

"I almost had to kill him last night," she said, "he had happened upon one of my clients"

"And you didn't kill him?" Nijel inquired. Verurteilen shrugged

"No vone vas paying me to kill him," she said

"Ah," said Nijel, "This man you killed, Jacob Waverly, was it?" Verurteilen almost choked on her cow's blood

"Yes," she gagged, "how did you know?"

"He's come here for breakfast for the past ten years, has not even missed a single day, his poor wife must be broken up about it" Verurteilen thought back to the sum of eight thousand dollars that was currently residing in her pockets

"You vould be surprised," she finished, lamely, resuming her reading of the latest edition of the Times

"Looks like there's something in here about the old Taxing office," came Nijel's voice from over her shoulder

"Yes," Verurteilen said absently. She had seen that article, as well, "Zere's been rumors floating around zaying zat zey are going to appoint a new Tax coordinator"

"As well as Tax collectors," said Nijel, "I wonder what kind of people they're going to rope into that kind of job" Verurteilen went on examining the Times article

"Yes," she said absently, not realizing that she had in fact said it several seconds after Nijel had walked away

Carrot grinned, it was a genuine grin that reached his eyes and one only Carrot could manage without looking like was about to butcher you.

"I am pleased, Lord Vetinari said you'd be helping the City, a fine thing to do."

Of course Nathan had heard of Carrot, but to meet him he realised that none of the stories could possibly be true. He went through the world and people didn't want to disappoint him. Nathan realised that a small part of him was glad to have impressed the captain, which of course meant that the larger part was disgusted with the smaller part.

"I believe that the new Tax co-ordinator is in fact up stairs, so you can meet him now."

He came over to the cells and unlocked them all. Nathan stepped out and was gripped by an almost overpowering urge to disappear up the stairs. However, perhaps he should wait for a little, if they were going upstairs anyway after all.

"This way please."

Sasha stepped out for her cell and for a second the impulse to run almost won out. But Carrot looked so happy at what they were doing, and besides she'd heard the rumours that there was at least one werewolf in the watch. She wouldn't get far even if she did mange to out manoeuvre Carrot and race through the watchouse without getting caught by the dozens of officers stationed here, so she dismissed the thoughts of escape...for now.

Carrot led them up the stairs and through the watch house, as they drew near a door the group slowed near a couple of officers who were chatting in the corridor. Carrot knocked on the door and waited for a reply, the group waited for a moment and Sasha decided to entertain herself. A few seconds later she held up a piece of paper in her hand, it was crumpled as though it had been stuffed hastily into a pocket. She laughed as she straightened it out and read what it said

"The Pink Pussycat club? A VIP pass? Oh man, are watch officer allowed to go to places like that?"

One of the officers looked at the paper, realisation dawned and his face was consumed in a blush. He quickly snatched at the paper but Sasha stepped back grinning

"What was it? A bribe? You want it back?" she teased as she waved it in front of him, his red face was a picture and he mumbled somthing about it being for his brother but his colleague was grinning and Sasha knew he was taking in every detail to tell his fellow officers in the canteen later. A subtle cough got her attention, she stopped and turned, Carrot stepped forward and took the paper out of her hand

"Miss Vine, may I kindly ask you to refrain from pickpocketing the officers? You are about to become a government worker" he added reproachfully. Sasha hoped she looked suitably remorseful as she nodded "Yes Captain...sorry. Force of habit"

Her grin re-surfaced as soon as Carrot turned his back and knocked once more on the door that apparently concealed their new boss

Kayla had been wandering the streets of Ankh-Morpork for over an hour, and by now even Dibbler's sausages inna bum were starting to look appetising as hunger continued to gnaw at her stomach. She had found her way out of the shades and was ambling along Short street when a wonderful smell assailed her nostrils.

Fresh Bacon

Kayla followed the scent to an unattended market stall at the end of Market Street. Glancing about her briefly, Kayla grabbed a sausage and ran…right into a wall. Somewhat dazed, she did not notice the raucous man wander4ing out of the pub opposite and making towards the stall. When he spotted Kayla he stopped, swaying slightly.

"What's all this then?"

And without waiting for an answer

"THIEF! THIEF!"

And he was staggering very determinedly towards Kayla. She had come to her senses somewhat, but not fast enough to dodge the massive paw-like hand that that grasped her arm surprisingly firmly for one so inebriated by drink. He turned her round and shook her.

"You mangy thieving beggar, you!"

His frient, only slightly more sober, whispered something in his ear.

"the WATCH? Why would I call the watch? We can sort this the old fashioned way. OFF WITH HER THIEVING LITTLE HAND!"

And with a yell he dragged her over to the stall where a previously unregarded carving knife lay. Passers by were starting to crowd around and watch in horrified fascination, but to Kayla's dismay there was no hint of a protest at what was possibly the best street theatre seen round this part of town for some time. The butcher banged her hand onto the table, wrenched the knife from the bloc and held it wavering above her head.

There was a thud and a scream. Kayla's blood ran into the gutter.

Nathan grinned when he heard Sasha read out the invitation and the grin broadened when he saw the look of embarrassment on the guards face.

"No need to blush officer, after all, who doesn't like to watch those girls wrap themselves around poles? I mean, the things they do."

It got the desired result, both guards blushed and he noticed Carrot's ears turning a very lovely crimson. Nathan had always found that sort of topic was never a problem for him, but he occasionally enjoyed watching others react to it. It had been a petty thing to do, but when you're hands are still tied up and you've been cooped up in a cell, then petty is all you have. Carrot cleared his throat and after a brief pause, entered the office, beckoning them to follow.

"Sergeant Kuryakin, these are members of your new staff."

Nathan's eyes wandered around the room, taking it all in. The office was large, not cramped, but not roomy either. There seemed to be a number of boxes in corners of the room all of them neatly labelled in a clear, and meticulous. On top of the boxes were papers, they were technically in piles, but made so precisely piled as to give the impression of a ruler and possibly some device for measuring angles. Finally his gaze came to rest on the man behind the desk. Sergeant Kuryakin appeared to sit there blinking at them and leafing through a file. Nathan decided to break the sound of rustling pages.

"Hi, I'm Nathan."

Kuryakin looked at him for a moment and then seemed to turn the pages even faster.

"Captain Carrot, now that everyone realises I'm an honest man, do you think you could please untie my hands?"

Carrot obliged and Nathan once again stood silently rubbing his wrists and waiting for the page turning to stop.

Candice was happy when she was let out of the cell. HOpefully it meant she could go home soon. She followed Carrot and the other two upstairs and through the watch house, before stopping outside an office.

She listened to the conversation aboutthe Pink Pussycat Club.

"I used to got there" she stated, absentmindedly. The girls there taught me how to dance."

The watch officer who Sasha had swiped the pass from stared at her in shock. She winked at him, and then followed the other two into the office.

As Carrot led them into the office Sasha looked at the still blushing guards, the younger of the two looked as if he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him especially after what Nathan had said. Sasha grinned and hung back from the group for a moment

"No need to be embarrassed boys it's all perfectly natural, appreciating the female form and all that, oh and say Hi to Candi for me next time you're there. If you tell her Sasha sent you, you might get a discount"

She saw their expressions and laughed, winked and followed after the others. She had once taken a job at the Pink Pussycat club, hoping it would mean some easy pickings from the distracted clientele but it hadn't lasted more than a night or two due to issues with the scant costumes, she didn't mind wearing them but seriously how was a girl supposed to stash any loot in a couple of scraps of lace? So she had returned to good old fashioned street thieving, much more her style.

She followed the others into the office and looked around, brushing back her hair, which was steadily escaping from it's clip, as she looked at the almost obsessively neat room. She took in all the details, all the clues to the man who was going to be their boss. Her gaze fell upon Sergeant Kuryakin as he sat behind his desk, leafing through his papers

"Hi, I'm Sasha"

She stood with Nathan and the rich girl and waited for a response to their introductions

She looked sidelong at Candice and laughed softly, "The look on their faces when you said you used to go there, that was priceless."

Candice realised sshe hadnt introduced herself. For the most part, she didnt need to, all the people she usually met knew her name already, but this man had given her a blank stare, before returning to flicking through pages.

"And i'm Candice." She smiled polietly.

While waiting for a response, she realised Sasha was talking to her.
Candice shrugged at the comment about the Pink Pussycat club, then smiled. "It was fun for a while. MY mother made me stop though. 'Public figures should try and behave more responsibly and not be a bad example'. "

Verurteilen was vaguely aware of the scream, but was not brought out of her hypnotized state as she stared at the newspaper until the sharp smell of human blood stung her nostrils

She looked up at the sight of fresh blood oozing into the gutters, and followed the trail with her eyes, up to a girl and the man holding the meat cleaver. Verurteilen growled. The whole behaviour of the whole human race made her sick to her stomach

She slammed some coins to pay for her meal onto the cafe table, before jumping up and swiftly darting through the crowd of watchers and tapped the man holding the cleaver on his shoulder

"What do you want?" he growled, turning around, and went pale at the sight of Verurteilen's fangs

"Do you even know who zis girl is?" she hissed, "For all you know, she could ve a member of ze Thieve's Guild!" Verurteilen grabbed the man's shirt and wrenched him forward so only he could hear her

"And ze Thieve's Guild has veen known to assosciate vith ze Assassin's Guild, if you know vhere I am going vith zis" The man instantly dropped the cleaver onto the stall and backed away, wideeyed. Verurteilen glared at him before moving onto the girl

"Miss?" she said, urgently shaking the girl, "Miss, are you alive?"

Kayla was shaken out of her faint only to be confronted by a woman who was obviously a vampire. The black quality about pretty much every item of her clothing was a clue, but the incisors that glinted so were definitely the clincher. She looked down at her hand as memory creeped up on her, and upon seeing the stump that was there instead pushed her over. She slumped ungraciously back onto the street with a sigh.

Verurteilen sighed and rolled her eyes at the sight of Kayla, on the ground, but she was impressed, the people she had dealt with usually had some trouble waking up, again

With another sigh, she hefted Kayla up to her feet, and turned to glare at the crowd, several of them looking towards their feet and leaving, before dragging the girl back to the cafe and setting her down in a chair

The flicking pages was beginning to fray Nathan's nerves. The sound seemed to be getting louder along with the sounds of the others breathing. He closed his eyes and swallowed down the urge to shout. Instead he stepped forward and squeezed the pages on Sergeant Kuryakin's file so that the flicking would stop.

"I'm sorry, would you mind terribly not doing that."

Again another quick smile appeared and went.

"Anything that's in that file about me I can tell you. Nathan Spree, tax officer for the city of Ankh-Morpork, or at least I will be tomorrow." He finished.

The sergeant cleared his throat.

"Yes well, good, yes we start tomorrow, I have a few ideas…"

He trailed off and cleared his throat again, he appeared to be getting into his stride.

"The tax office is near the palace, the old building around there. We have to see how we go. I've not had a chance to look at what's happened in there yet, but hopefully we will find out together."

Nathan nodded, he was so close to being out of here, he could taste freedom.

"In that case, I will see you tomorrow."

Captain Carrot cleared his throat and handed them another letter each.

"Another one? From the Patrician, he shouldn't have."

Carrot did not smile. Opening it Nathan began to read.

Dear Mr Spree,

I am most gratified that you have decided to join our organisation in service to the city. Your clear thinking in decision making does you credit and bodes well for you future within the tax office.

This sounded fairly pleasant, Nathan tense

However I feel it my duty to inform you that your previous career has led me to give your iconograph to the watch and distributed among the gate entrances.

Hah! He wasn't so clever he obviously didn't realise…

Please note that I can confirm to you that there is at least one werewolf in the watch and they have been given your scent, I'm sure I do not need to continue. Suffice it to say that if it is required to retrieve you back into the city, I would, most regrettably, have to release you from the service of the tax office and instate a number of charges. This is of course merely a warning as I am sure that it will not come to that.

Nathan felt nauseous the man was psychic, he had to be, how did he know all these things about him, how did he know

"Well, as I said….se you in the morning."

He said weakly.

Sasha had listened to the brief statement from the sergeant and had begun to, not very subtly, edge toward the part way open door, trying not to look too eager to leave.

"Yeah okay, see you in the morning boss..."

There were plenty of coaches leaving regularly from the Post Office, she could head straight there and be out of the city in a couple of hours. May be she would try Quirm next or maybe not, that was still fairly close and the Thieves Guild had a long memory and even longer daggers. Perhaps she would go a bit further afield. She could catch a boat, Klatch could be good. She could get a tan, lay low for a while...

Before she could slip through the gap and onward to the almost palpable taste of freedom another letter was held out by Captain Carrot. She gave him a suspicious look and took it from him with narrowed eyes

"You aren't making any friends with these you know"

Opening it she read it quickly, made a noise somewhere between a groan and a sigh and slumped against the wall with her arms folded, the unfolded letter hanging from her right hand.

After a brief pause for dramatic effect she stood up straight again, automatically sweeping her hair back

"Well, it's been a pleasure but I gotta go. I'll see you in the morning"

Half expecting Carrot to stop her she opened the door and left the room. On the way out of the watch house she saw the blonde haired officer who had dragged her to that office earlier. Okay so Sasha wasn't exactly dragged but she was taken there against her will and that was close enough.

The woman was stood near the exit talking to a couple of fellow officers, Sasha grinned and sauntered past her, hoping that the sergeant would think she was making a break for it, a very slow casual break but a break nonetheless. The woman watched her but made no move to stop Sasha from leaving. Disappointing but still, there was the street in front of her, Sasha inhaled the sweet smell of freedom as she stepped outside...and retched as the stink of the river Ankh filled her lungs

The scrabbling of a pigeon on the roof woke Talbot from what had been a restless sleep. Turning over with a groan, he squinted into the half light before rubbing his eyes and slowly sitting up in bed. His stomach rumbled. Hmmm. Time for breakfast! He got up and absent-mindedly selected an outfit from the narrow wardrobe in the corner of the room.

Outside, the day was in full swing; not that The Shades ever really slept. Talbot stepped out into the street and headed off towards Market Street where his favourite café provided excellent coffee and croissants. He was just in the mood for some.

There seemed to be some sort of commotion ahead of him as he turned into the street and he was in time to see someone being lifted from the road and taken to one of the chairs at the café. He wouldn't have recognised the woman who had been doing the lifting had it not been for a glimpse of her teeth as she looked round. It was those magnificent teeth again! He would know them anywhere. Initially feeling rather hesitant, Talbot gave a slight shrug and crossed the street to the café where he nodded at the woman before selecting a table near the door and picking up a menu.

Candice had gotten distracted and had zoned out, so had missed the conversation. However, it came to her attention that they were finally being let go. She sighed, and brought herself back to reality, as Carrot handed her another letter. She read it, and frowned. These things were getting more evil.

Sasha was leaving, so Candice turned and followed her out without even saying 'goodbye' or 'see you tomorrow' to the others.

Down in the courtyard, Candice saw one of her families coaches, and climbed in. HEr father was in there, waiting for her. "Daddy im so sorry" she cried, and her father looked worried. Candice never cried.

"Its ok sweetie, let me see what i can do."

"Theres nothing you can do!" She handed him the letter. It basically said that if Candice was to dissapear, or not show up for work in the morning, the Meehan family business would be 'looked into'. Purely to find out how they'd hidden her, of course. Steven Meehan looked angry as he read the thinly veiled threats throughout the letter, realising that the patrician knnew all about his dodgy business dealings.

Finally, he nodded, and tucked the letter into his pocket.

"Im sorry daddy" she repeated, as the coach sped her home.

Kayla came to once again, slowly and quietly. She was sitting not far from the stall as she could still smell the bacon that had lured her here. Looking down at her fame once again as she began to remember, she shuddered, but stayed cycle. Looking up she saw the vampire sitting across and looking harassed. Lookin once more at her mangled stump, still pumping blood, she burst into tears.

Verurteilen stood and massaged the life back into her arms after dumping the girl into the seat, and looked up to see the dentist walking by. Without really knowing why, she nodded back to him, and suddenly jumped back when the girl spontaneously woke up and burst into tears

She caught sight of Nijel, and beckoned for him to bring her a towel. When he returned she took the dirty dish towel and kneeled down to eye level with the girl

"Oh, vould you stop your bawling?" she shouted over the sound of the girl crying, "I've left people in much vorse condition than you've been put into, believe me. Here, zis should stop ze bleeding" Verurteilen wrapped the towel around the girl's stump and it immeadiately began to turn a dark red

"You vill feel a vit voozy for a vhile from all of ze bloodloss, vut you should ve just fine. Here, drink zis, it vill help" She shoved the glass of water that Nijel had brought over into Kayla's other hand, before letting herself fall into the next chair, where she sat and began to fan herself with her hat

"Honestly," she went on, "you humans vill not hesitate to pay to have someone killed, and yet you make such a fuss over vone lost limb"

Kayla quietened down at the sight of the angry vampire. Clutching the towel to her wrist she sniffed the tantalising smell of the bacon and drooled slightly. Still hiccoughing with tears. She cleared her throat and spoke.
"C..c..can I have s..s..something to eat?"

The city...it had seemed like such a good idea at the time. A far cry from the village where she had spent her childhood. It was a cliched idea but Sasha had come to the city because of the belief it would be full of opportunity and wealth, and it was. Plenty of wealthy people and lots of opportunity to relieve them of some of their riches. However she had been shocked at the poverty that was rife here, of course even back home there had been people who had been better off than others but as a small community they pulled together.
If a farmers crops failed the village saw to it that he and his family didn't starve during the cold winters, and he would do the same for someone else when he had plenty and his neighbour had nothing. But here no-one seemed interested in helping the poverty stricken families. Rich patrons of the Opera House would sweep off their coaches and into the richly decorated building without a second glance at the thin, ragged street urchins who would try their luck at begging for enough money to get a meal.

It was something that rankled Sasha who didn't usually take very much in life seriously. Why couldn't the spoiled upper classes share some of their wealth to help the people for whom daily life was a constant struggle. Surely the patrician or someone in the government could force the rich to give a small amount of their money which could then be given to those who need it, mothers who struggled to feed and clothe their children, men who could no longer work to feed their family...Sasha shook her head sadly, then realisation dawned. Someone in the government, someone like a Tax Officer. Her mouth set in a determined line and she nodded to herself, it was worth a mention surely?She made a mental note to approach Sergeant Kuryakin about it, once they had established just exactly what it was that they would be doing.

Sasha was deep in thought about her idea earlier, about tax money being used to help people. Walking quickly through the streets she was staring at the cobbles instead of watching where she was going, she was in hurry because she was already late for somthing, a promise she had made. Her hand reached up to brush her hair out of her eyes and she collided with someone hard enough to send her off balance,

"Oh man, that hurt! I'll have bruises on my bum for weeks now. You should be more careful, I could probably sue you for causing serious bodily harm."

Sprawled on her backside from her ungraceful landing she looked up to see who she had bumped into...

Verurteilen nodded to Kayla, and gave a look to Nijel who was still standing by the table. He bustled off and a few moments later he returned with a plate of bacon. Verurteilen pressed what had to be at least twice as much money as the bacon was worth, and as she did so, she did it with an air that implied that the payer knew very well that she was overpaying, but her pockets jingled as she sat back down, revealing that she had plenty more where that had come from.

She looked across to the girl and gave a small laugh inwardly to herself

Ha!, she thought, vhy do I even take pity on zese humans?

Because, zey're hatred for each other makes you rich, said another part of her inner mind. Verurteilen shrugged

Zat answer vill do, she thought

Kayla leaped at the bacon with relish, wedging her arm and towel between her knees as she ate,

Talbot wasn't sure any more what he really wanted for breakfast, although he was very hungry. He was used to eating well. His family were rich and had always ensured he wanted for nothing. They had indulged his fascination for things dental and funded his professional training at the exclusive Dentistry School in Uberwald. There was always a good clientele for the students to work on, although the quality of teeth was variable. Not everyone looked after them properly, especially when… distracted by the moment.

The lady with the beautiful teeth was talking heatedly with a young girl whose arm was bleeding heavily, and who seemed to have ordered something to eat. Soon the delicious smell of bacon wafted towards Talbot's table. Mmmmm. That's what I'll have.

Everyone seemed to be focused on the young girl, so Talbot got up to walk round towards the counter to place his order. As he rose from the table, he saw Igor across the street and beckoned to him to come over. He could be useful at a time like this when no one else was available to do the serving. Just as Igor reached the table, however, a woman came rushing out of nowhere towards him and they collided heavily… well, it's hard to just 'bump' into an Igor. They're built to last. The woman landed in heap on the ground and shouted something before looking up.

"Thorry, Mithth", said Igor, offering her a six-fingered hand. " I hope you're not hurt. I'm thure I can have you ath good ath new if there'th been any damage. It'th my thpethiality."

Sasha looked up indignantly at the person who she had collided with, reached to take his hand and realised he had six fingers with a neat scar around the wrist, his face wasn't much better. He looked like a guy who had lived in the village who had had a nasty lumberjacking accident, only that guy had never walked and talked due to being , well, dead, which wasn't really surprising considering they had had to lift a twenty foot tree off him.

"Argh!...I mean, ah it's okay I can get up by myself. Look."

She scrambled to her feet, then gave him a sideways look with narrowed eyes.

"You can fix me up as good as new...?" her eyes widened as she realised what he meant "...No no, it's okay. It's just a few bruises."

And those bruises were in a place that she wasn't letting this gentleman anywhere near. She was about to hurry on when she noticed the others seated at one of the tables. She blinked and looked again at the young girl, the towel around her hand was soaked in blood.

"What in hells names happened to her? If you want to fix anybody up I think you should start there"

Sasha just couldn't hurry on without first asking if the girl was okay, so she did

"S'cuse me miss, but are you okay?"

Probably a daft question but better than 'So tell me, how did you end up horribly mangled?'

She looked at the girls companion, a flash of teeth told her all she needed to know. So a girl bleeding profusly was sitting with a vampire? There was something wrong with this picture. Sasha adopted an expression of pure confusion which she vocalised most eloquently

"Huh?"

Verurteilen looked up as another girl hurried over to the table. She caught the look that she was being given after the new girl had seen Kayla's hand, or, moreover, she hadn't seen Kayla's hand

"Hey, do not look at me," she said, coldly, "I did not do it" Verurteilen brought herself up to her impressive full height and walked over to the new girl

"In fact, I vas trying to help zis girl" she went on, "You appear to be a thief as vell, girl, you should be careful, I only tell you zis so zat I do not end up having to come around and save you as vell"

Sasha met the vampires glare with one of her own, this looked quite comical seeing as Sasha was probably at least a foot shorter.

"A thief? That's slander that is. Besides I'm not a thief, I'm a government worker" Sasha folded her arms to underline the statement, then shrugged and held out the hanfuld of gold she had filched from the vampires pocket.

"See, if I was a thief I wouldn't be giving this back would I? There's a lesson for you here, get inside pockets. They're much harder to dip into"

She grinned, then looked back at the bleeding girl and her face became one of concern.

"So what happened to her?"

Verurteilen growled and snatched back the coins the girl had taken from her

"Not anything half as bad as vhat I vill do to you if you try zat again" She sighed and put the money back into her pockets, making a note to button them securely closed. To prove her point, Verurteilen briefly flashed a blade before shoving it back into the depths of her cloak

"You should be grateful zat I do not kill you for zat, I did not aquire zis money by giving people a second chance." She looked the girl up and down, "Vut, I must admit, you must be cut out for government service if you had ze guts to do zat"

Kayla hadn't noticed the exchange going on above her head, as she focused all her energies on satisfying the enormous hunger that had gripped her for days. Finishing he last rasher, she looked up at the two women squaring up against each other.
"Erm... I'm Kayla, and I would like to know who saved me..."

Verurteilen broke her glare with the pickpocketer, when she heard the sound of the other girl's voice

"I am sorry," she said, smiling, "I am afraid zat I have failed to introduce myself" She bowed low to Kayla, "I am Verurteilen von Ubervald"

"and as you appear to be in no place to alert ze guild," she continued straightening up, "I do not mind telling you zat I am a master assassin"

Talbot started. "Did you say Verurteilen von Uberwald? I thought your teeth looked familiar! I was your family dentist when I first qualified. You all had the most perfect teeth I've ever had the pleasure to examine." Talbot was overwhelmed. He had many happy memories of his time in Uberwald, although there was a brief spell where his memory failed him. He wasn't sure why…

Verurteilen nearly fell over at the sudden sound of Talbot's voice. In fact, she did fall over, but a chair impeded her way and gave her a chance to catch herself, so it didn't really count

Pulling herself together, she moved closer to the dentist and looked him up and down, as if trying to drag up something in the form of recollection

"You vill have to excuse me, I am not zat good vith remembering faces, I don't usually see ze same vones more zan vonce," she said, finally she stood back, "Yes, you look vaguely familiar, vut I left many memories behind vhen I left Ubervald, so it is not a strong recollection

Kayla was listening to the conversation in silence. After the initial shock, her wrist had started to throb unbearably. Not wanting to anger her companion she bit her lip, fearing that all that would come out of her mouth when she opened it would be a yell of anguish. A lone tear trickled down her cheek, as she bit her lip harder to try and distract the pain.

Candice made it home, and stumbled up the stairs to her room. The need for real sleep was overwhelming, and she colapsed on her bed without even bothering to get changed into her nightgown.

All thoughts about tax and her new job had dissapeared, and her last moments of being awake she was thinking about where to party that night. Then she fell into such a deep sleep that she didnt hear her door being locked from the outside.

"That's alright", murmured Talbot. "I'm not too good with faces myself, but I can place a set of teeth easily, in every sense." He chuckled and then stopped quickly. He was totally mesmerised. Was it Verurteilen herself or her teeth. This all felt vaguely familiar but it seemed to be linked somehow to the gap in his memory. Hmmmm… he wondered. He raised his hand to his neck and rubbed gently at the small scar below his left ear. It was quality work. Igor had done a good job but he just couldn't remember what it was for. All he knew was that his parents had brought him home and he'd insisted on setting up a new practice here, in Ankh Morpork. He'd certainly been kept busy lately.

"Yes." He said. "Well, I think I'd better go and finish my breakfast. My surgery opens early this afternoon and there are a few errands I need to run first. I, er, hope everything is alright." He nodded towards Kayla. "Yes. Er, goodbye." He wandered back to his table, feeling puzzled. He was sure that the vampire was linked to his past somehow but the memory was firmly locked away.

He shook his head and turned to his table companion. "Ah, Igor. I was going to ask you to give me a ha… er, to help me sort out some breakfast but, looking at the time, I need you instead to sort out some urgent supplies for the surgery. There's a client coming this afternoon and the special teeth I've ordered for him need collecting as soon as possible. You'll have some supplies to take away afterwards, of course."

" Of courthe, Thur." Igor took the piece of paper containing instructions proferred by Talbot, rose and left just as the waiter approached the table.

Shrugging at the vampires threat as if it was of no consequence to her Sasha had been about to carry on her way to where she had been hurrying to before the disfigured man had bumped her over.

She paused briefly to listen to the conversation between a man and the vampire, just to be nosy. A movement caught her eye and she looked down at the girl sat at the table, who was being extremely quiet. A tear rolled down the girls cheek and Sasha looked again at the bloody towel that was wrapped around the girls hand.

Approaching the table Sasha knelt down so she could look at the girl

"Hey, I bet that's hurting huh? What happened?"

Sasha was filled in on the events with the drunkard and her usual sunny countenance vanished. Her eyes narrowed and she stood back up. She turned around, and glared up at the vampire

"She needs medical attention before she bleeds to death! I'm going to fetch a doctor..."

After filling in the long haired lady on the mornings events, Kayla stood up with her. She was not letting the first person to talk to her on her own terms, not out of necessity, out of her sight. Remembering her manners, she inclined her head towards the vampire lady, before sticking herself to Sasha.

Sasha smiled down at the poor girl

"Okay then let's get you fixed up. There's a doctor, a good doctor I mean, not too far from here. "

She glanced at her watch, damn it she was late. But she couldn't just walk away from this girl without making sure she was okay. Even Sasha's lack of conscience didn't extend to children. So she took the girls good hand and led her to the doctors house which fortunatly was only just around the corner from the cafe, it was no different from any of the other houses that lined this particular street apart from a tiny brass plate just under the knocker that read Doctor I. Chopitov

As they stood at the door Sasha spoke quietly to the girl

"Just go along with anything I say in there got it?"

Sasha knocked hard on the door, after a few moments it opened a crack, when the person behind it saw Sasha he sighed and opened it further.

"What can I do for you Sasha?"

She gestured to the door, the man opened it wide enough to allow them to slip inside. In the hallway the smell of disenfectant seemed to seep through the wall themselves. Once the door was closed the doctor turned to the thief, she raised her hand in greeting

"Hey Doc, you remember that favour you owe me?"

The doctors face said that there was no way on the disc that he could possibly have forgotten, he rubbed his face wearily and nodded

Sasha continued, jerking a thumb in the girls direction

"Well, I'm calling it in. this girl needs attention now."

The doctors face barely concealed the surprise and relief that the re-payment of the favour would be somthing as simple and legal as this, he almost smiled as he nodded

"Okay, bring her into my surgery"

A few moment later the girls injuries were being tended to, the doctor had given her a generous dose of anesthetic so it was no longer painful and he was sewing up the damage as best he could. As he worked he shot a glance over at Sasha who was frowning at somthing floating in a jar

"May I ask how this happened?"

Sasha nodded still staring at the mystery thing "Yeah, you can ask"

The doctor waited, after a few minutes he rolled his eyes

"Okay, how did this happen?"

Sasha held up the jar to the light

"Is that a finger? or something else? Ew, it's got an eye!...sorry doc, what did you say?"

The doctor repeated his question, Sasha put the jar down and turned to face him,

"Its a terrible story doc, this poor girl was taken in by a seemingly kind old lady who forced her into a life of servitude, then sold her to a vicious crime lord..."

The doctor sighed "The truth please Sasha"

"Are you sure? my story was so much more interesting...okay okay. Some drunk guy thought she was trying to steal from him and he chopped off her hand...although he could have been a vicious crime lord, you just never know"

"Have you told the watch?"

Sasha gave the doctor a withering look "I though you medical types are supposed to be bright"

Another sigh from the doctor, "Okay, well I've done all I can for her. She'll be fine except for the loss of her hand, but what's left should heal well as long as she keeps it clean and covered." He finished bandaging the girls arm and stood up, a gesture to let them know that his debt was repaid and it was time to leave

Sasha slapped him on the back as she left "Thanks Doc, I'll make sure to reccomend you to anyone who needs a good doctor". The mans face paled as he thought about the sort of people Sasha probably associated with, they left the surgery and Sasha walked the girl back to the cafe where they had met.

"You should be fine now. It was a pleasure to meet you but I'm running real late for a promise I made so I gotta go." Checking that the vampire was still around Sasha bid the girl goodbye and shoved a few coins into the girls hand. She hadn't given the vampire all of her gold back

She hurried off, glancing at her watch. Oh man, now she was really late, she broke into a run...

Verurteilen was watching as Sasha tended to the girl, but her eyes kept drifting back to the dentist's face. There was something about him..he did seem familiar, a slightly younger version of his face was somehow in Verurteilen's mind, but she just couldn't wrap the correct memory around it

Suddenly, the dentist's hand went to the before unoticed scar on his neck, and it took every ounce of strength in Verurteilen's body to keep herself from gasping, choosing to stupidly bite her tongue, instead, which just made it more difficult, as the memory struck her like a renegade coach. It had been a dark night in Uberwald, and she hadn't known that he was still-

Verurteilen grabbed her head to try to drive the memory away before it could project itself across her eyes any further

No vonder I no longer take live victims, she thought, still clenching her head. Finally, she sighed, noticing that the dentist had long since walked away, and looked up just in time to see Sasha returning with Kayla

Vhere have zey been? she wondered, and then she saw the gold exchange hands, and her own flew to her pocket, before turning and growling at Sasha's retreating back

Damn, zat little pickpocketing thief!

Nathan had been at a loss, oh he had things to do but at the moment it was a bit difficult. He knew he was being followed and his clients were the nervous types, often frowning on uninvited company. This particular client however was one that Nathan really didn't want to keep waiting, the money was just too good. Still if the watch busted this deal, any further business he would hope to do…alive, would certainly be permanently suspended. In light of this he had followed Sasha, his mind trying to figure out a solution to his very large problem. When she had reached the café Nathan had watched, the smell of blood was strong and he quickly located the source, the horribly maimed girl. His eyes flicking to the tall figure in black, whose obviousness was masked only by the fact she was standing next to a girl with a bloody stump, she had to be a vampire. The hairs on Nathan's neck stood to attention and a cold shiver went down his back, he really hated vampires. From this angle he couldn't see any black ribbon but the situation didn't appear to require intervention. He watched as Sasha bent down and led the kid away; the thief was beginning to feature pivotally in his idea and his chest tightened as she disappeared. When they both re-appeared he let out a sigh of relief and watched Sasha take off in yet another direction. Glancing around to check there was no one watching, he clambered up the side of the building, he moved smoothly, quickly finding hand holds and moving up and along. He spotted Sasha's retreating form and scrambled to the corner of the entrance to the street she had just entered. Turning the corner he saw her in the distance and started running after her.

He matched his pace to hers and drew alongside her as she ran.

"Hey." He said and gave her a quick smile.

"So, since we're going to be work colleagues, I wonder if you could do me a favour?"

He seemed to be completely oblivious to the fact that this might not be the best time or that they were running at all. His tone of voice suggested that they might be sitting back at the café and having a drink together.

Sasha heard running footsteps behind her and instincively began to run faster, but instead of a cry of 'Stop thief' or 'Hey you!' there came instead the extremely casual tones of Nathan as he drew up alongside her.

She shrugged whilst running, which isn't the easiest gesture to do gracefully. Deciding she could do with a breather anyway she slowed down and stopped, breathing heavily. She looked up and down the street which appeared to be empty, then grinned and gave a non-commital answer

"Depends, what's the nature of this favour and what's in it for me?"

Nathan did not appear to be out of breath he slowed and again flashed a quick smile, this one reached his eyes though. He put on a pained expression and winced theatrically.

"Well, I thought since we were both stuck in the same mess we could help one another out and that doing me this favour would give you a warm glow mushy glow inside."

Seeing that she wasn't moved in the slightest he sighed and leant closer.

"Okay, I need to get a package to someone, I'm being followed though so it's a little difficult. I need you to take the package I will give you to the address written on the card you have just taken from my pocket."

He said the last part quite matter of factly and without checking his pockets.

"Not really a big deal, but I will give you ten dollars to do it."

It was worth every penny if the package got delivered.

"Knock on the door, tell them…Springer sent you."

Nathan's expression never changed as he said the name and he appeared to be daring Sasha to laugh.

A smirk danced across her face but she hid it well. She kept her expression carefully unresponsive to hide the fact that she was trying not to let a snort of laughter excape. Once she was sure she had it under control she spoke

"Springer?" she shrugged "I've heard stranger names"

Sasha considered his offer, ten dollars to deliver a package. Sounded good, but she had learnt that things that sounded simple could have an annoying tendency to turn out to alot more complicated than first thought. Like the time when she was seven years old and playing 'Dares' with her best friend, a simple dare resulted in one traumatised cat clinging to a branch up a very tall oak tree, Sasha covered from head to toe in paint and sitting in a pond and her father needing stiches. A long story that taught her a valuable lesson, Never Try to Paint a Cat.

Although this favour did sound fairly simple. She held up the card, gave a shrug as an explanation for having taken it from his pocket and looked at the address.

"Yeah, I know that street." she looked Nathan up and down, wondering just how much he would pay for this simple task that he couldn't carry out himself "Make it fifteen dollars and you've got a deal"

Nathan did not assume the face of someone who's just been dealt a terrible blow, he was not that kind of negotiator. Nathan played cripple Mr Onion, and a lesson he had learned very quickly was, you never play your cards, you always play your opponents cards. His relaxed attitude never wavered, not even for a moment.

"It's not worth fifteen dollars."

He said with not the hint of a lie, it was technically true, the job wasn't worth fifteen dollars, it was worth a great deal more. The best way to bluff is not to do it, people heard what they wanted to and as crazy as it seemed, their brains filled in the rest.

"eleven dollars and I'll give half of it to you now and half when the job is done."

Sasha shook her head, perhaps some people would have relented, barterd and found a price midway but Sasha stuck to her guns.

"uh-uh, fifteen or no deal. You chased me to ask me to do this, meaning it's important." she leant her back against the wall of a nearby house and casually examined her fingernails

"Now normally my price would be alot higher but as you said we're going to be work mates so I'm giving you a generous discount. Fifteen dollars, which I suspect is actually quite a reasonable price considering that you can't in fact deliver this package yourself"

She folded her arms and looked him in the eye

"Half now, half afterwards. Fifteen or I walk"

Nathan looked at her, he could stand here and argue, but she had him over a barrel, god he hated that, but he made not show of it though. He nodded.

"I've truly been done, government really seems to get in the way of an honest man's work."

He took out half the money and handed it to her, once that was done he took out a neatly wrapped package, it wasn't large, but it was surprisingly heavy and even through the layers of paper seemed to be cool, almost cold.

"Thank you, you're more expensive than I'd like, but if you get the job done at least you'll have earned it. Just one more thing, don't try and steal from these guys, I'm sure you're good, but the people who want that package...they don't like people taking their things, just hand the package and leave and I'll have the rest of the money waiting for you, I promise."

Sasha took the money wiht a grin then frowned as she handled the package, it felt odd. Somehow she knew that curiosity was probably not a good option here so she simply placed it in a pocket then nodded at Nathan

"Okay, straight there, Springer sent me, no stealing...Got it"

Another glance at her watch, yes she was running late but this errand could prove useful. She looked again at the card just to be sure she knew exactlywhere she was going and made ready to leave.

"Theses people, they sound a bit like the the sort of people who don't take kindly to people. If there's any trouble I'm charging you extra and you can buy me a pint, actually make that two pints. Like you said, I'm expensive"

A flash of a grin, then Sasha walked away sweeping her errant hair out of her eyes as she turned the corner. She kept a brisk pace, walking past street traders and citizens, for once she resisted the urge to dip into the occasional tantalisingly easy pocket. She knew when to take things seriously and calling attention to herself whilst carrying this mysterious package would not be amongst the top ten list of 'Smart Things to Do'. Sasha sighed and looked longingly at a purse left carelessly at the top of a handbag, at a merchant who had a bag of coins almost falling out of his pocket...they were doing this on purpose, she was sure of it.

Soon she came to the street written on the address card, it was a quiet street barely more than a coaches width across. The building seemed to lean in towards each other giving the feeling of being closed in. She slowed and listened, keeping to the shadows under the buildings overhangs. Satisfied that the street was deserted she walked casually along the street until she came to the address Nathan had given her. She knocked on the door, after a moment heavy footsteps could be heard approaching from the other side and a small hatch slid back. A pair of eyes squinted through the hole, a gruff voice grunted

"Think you've got the wrong place Missy"

Sasha simply stood there as casually as if she was chatting to the local grocer

"I don't think so, this is definitly the right place." She didn't wait for further small talk, best just to get this over with "Springer sent me"

Candice woke up a few hours later, completely sober, refreshed and slightly disorientated, which was proven when she thought she was laying closer to the middle of her bed than she actually was, so fell out when she rolled over. She stood up, and wandered into her private bathroom to clean herself up, as Candice knew she still stunk of stale alcohol and cigars.

After a lot of effort Candice was clean and had fixed her hair. Then she realised she could hear a faint noise coming from her huge walk in wardrobe. SHe opened the doors, and out barrelled a small white ball of fluff.

"Bruiser!" She squealed, as he ran back to her, yapping happily. "How'd you end up in there?" SHe gave him a quick hug, then put him back on the ground. Now it was time to choose todays outfit. Finally, she was ready to leave the house, and went and opened the bedroom door. WEll...she tried to, anyway. It was locked from the outside.

"Hey!" she yelled, thumping on the door.

"Yes, miss Meehan?" came a voice from the other side. It was her fathers assistant. She'd never bothered to remember his name, but she knewe she couldnt stand him.

"Unlock the door!"

"I cant do that, Miss Meehan. Your father has asked me to make sure you get to your..." here he snickered, "..job tomorrow. I figure the best way to do that would be to not let you out til then."

Candice was fuming, and stormed away from the door, Bruiser close on her heels.

"Come on Bruiser" she muttered, picking him up again. "We're heading out". With that, she packed him into a bag, then climbed out of her window. It had always been easy to sneak out of her room, not that her father or his staff had ever worked out how. She climbed down three stories of the building, before finally landing in the alley at the side of the house.

There was no acknowledgement from the flap, the pair of eyes drew back and it shut. A few seconds and a whispered conversation later, the door opened and a large, meaty arm came out of the gloom, 'guiding' her inside. The door banged shut with the finally of a tomb plunging the room beyond into swirls of dust and gloomy place had a smell of damp fur and leath, it must be a similar smell to a barbarians changing room. There was a sense of being surrounded by bodies, but the gloom was so thick it was impossible to tell how many were actually there.

"So, Springer sent you."

Came a voice somewhere in the gloom in front of her. Finally a lantern was lit and placed on a low table just before her.

"At last the man that claims to find things, has found what we asked for. Although I would have expected him to come himself, I did not know he had an associate. Do you have the package?"

The man before her was covered in scars, he might have been handsome, but it was very ahrd to tell. Standing to one side of him was a woman, her features thrown into shadow by the light of the lantern, she was unblemished and eagerness tensed her muscles, but she disguised it well in an air of haughty aloofness.

Sasha shrugged at the scar faced man

"He's busy, and yeah I got the package"

She produced the small yet curiously heavy package and though about tossing it on the table, then another thought reminded her she didn't know what was in the package and these people didn't look like the sort to forgive and forget if she broke one of their toys.
The scar faced man held out his hand, Sasha gave him the package and stood back making a point of not studying his face or the face of the woman next to him. Intrigued as she was Sasha still had a survival instinct and it was telling her loud and clear that it was best to show as little interest as possible and get back outside, where the air smelt a little fresher and she didn't get the feeling she was being watched from the shadows.

"Okay, you got your package, I'll be off now"

She turned to find the way out

The way out was blocked by a shadow, the man spoke again.

"Tell Springer that his payment will be waiting at his lodgings, tell him also that if this is a fake we know exactly what we need to kill him."

There was a tiny gesture from the scarred man and the shadow moved to one side, poening the door and throwing the entire room into darkness, since the light of the street was so bright compared with the gloom. She was unceremonously shoved out and the door closed behind her.

Nathan wasn't sure how he'd managed to do it, but it appeared that he was back at the Cafe where the girl had been injured. Since street cleaning was something that happened only in stories around Ankh-Morpork, the smell of blood hung in the air, dried and horrible, but still there, the vampire and the girl were also both still there. He had to pass the vampire to get int othe cafe, he did this with as little contact as possible, he was casual, there was no fear as he passed, but he spent as little time as possible in the direct area. Once he had got his drink he found a table as far aways a was decently possible and sat down to wait for Sasha to come back.

Sasha was shoved out onto the narrow street, as the door slammed shut behind her she debated about shouting something rude, decided against it and settled for making a hand gesture at the doorway instead.

Exactly what they need to kill him? What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Well, she had completed her part of the deal so she went to find Nathan to collect the rest of her payment and to deliver the message. She went back the way she had come and eventually spotted him at the cafe where she has met the girl and vampire earlier. She waved a hand in a greeting to them but walked straight past and went over to Nathans table. She sat down opposite him, with her arms folded. Leaning back in the chair you would have thought by her casual demeanour that they were simply aquantices meeting up a for coffee

"Well, you sure know some weird people. They've got their package, said the payment would be at your lodgings. They also said that if it was a fake they know exactly what they need to kill you" She shrugged, but her face didn't hide her curiosity at what exactly that meant. Working with this guy was certainly going to be interesting, but her priorities right now were of the monetary kind

"Anyway, I've fulfilled my part of the deal..."

She waited expectantly for what she was owed

Kayla winced as she momentarialy forgot about her hand and tried to wave back at the nice lady. She had been concerned when she had gone, but she was off too quickly to follow, and she sighed with relief when she returned. Something about the woman reminded Kayla of Kip, her old best friend, and the decision to stick with a face that looked even vaguely like a smile when pointed her way was overwhelming. the vampire just looked worried when she peered at Kayla, and the dentist frightened her slightly, along with the Igor he brought with him.

Kayla looked over to the table where the two had sat down, but the conversation looked serious. She would dash in at the opportune moment and try, sucessfuly this time, to find herself a keeper. Kayla's experience so far in ankh-Morpork had weakened her resolve to dare it on her own!

Veurteilen watched as people milled about and generally went about their own business. As a man passed her, she glared coldly at him, as if daring him to make a remark, as the scene was actually quite comical from a bystanders point of view: a woman who is clearly a vampire standing by a girl with half of an arm missing, and blood slowly drying on the street, it was anyone's guess what had happened, when in truth it was something that most people probaly wouldn't go for, first try. Verurteilen put it all down to the fake black ribbon on her cloack that Nijel had given her, it was almost like magic

She almost lunged at Sasha when she returned, but she quickly remembered that she was in public, and standing out a bit more than she was comfortable with, so she simply stood there and glared as Sasha went and sat down with the man

Veurteilen sat back down and saw Kayla watching the two over at the other table, admittedly quite surprised that the girl was still upright after what had happened

"Ha!" she said, "you have got to be vone of ze strongest girls of your age to make it out of zat and still be on your feet" she smiled a grin that was a bit too toothy for some people, "It vould be good for you to remember zat," she continued, "sometimes a person's greatest disability can be zere greatest strength"

Mirabell had packed all her effects, and sat in the room that was not her anymore, waiting for further development.
Pretty soon a young student that Meera vaguely recognised arrived
'Lord Downey told me to deliver this to you' he said, panting slightly.
'Thank-you' Meera smiled
'What you did must've been very bad', said the boy with a grin, 'Downey looked crosser than ever!'
'Mmmm...' replied Meera. Somehow this boy was getting on her nerves. Sensing that he probably wasn't welcome anymore, the boy ran off.

Meera glared at him as he left the room, then turned her attention to the letter in her hands. Tearing open the envelope she read:

Miss Wren,

I have been informed by Lord Downey about your Circomstances, and your decision to apply for the position of clerk under my employment.
I am happy to inform you that this application has been accepted.

In addition, Lord Downey has advised me that he might consider taking you back into the guild sometime in the future. For this reason, he has asked that you be monitered throughout the period that you spend under my employment.

You will be pleased to know that you are to work in the sector of tax collection. As an assassin, I am sure that you will be suited to this job.

Your job starts tomorrow morning at the tax office.

Sincerely,
Vetinari.

Meera leaned back, slightly confused by the letter. On the whole it didn't seem too bad though, a nice comfortable job, that in addition would earn her some money.

Meera grabbed her belongings. Now to find somewhere to stay while she worked.
It didn't seem that bad really, after all how difficult could it be, collecting tax money?

After a tasty breakfast, Talbot left the café and set out for his surgery. It was going to be a busy afternoon as his patient list was full, but he was looking forward to his second client of the afternoon. That was always an interesting challenge.

It was midday by the time Talbot had fully opened the surgery and his first client was a straightforward check up. Nothing untoward there. As the patient left the room, he felt a presence and, looking round, saw Igor, a box in his hand.

"Here you are, Thur. Ath requethted."

Talbot took the box and opened it lovingly. Inside was an exquisite diamond.

"Thank you, Igor," he said. "Just in time. The teeth I promised you will be ready this evening, at around ten."

"Very good, Thur. I'll return later."

Talbot turned to add a further comment, but Igor had gone. There was something endearing and reassuring about the subtlety of Igor's entrances and exits (well, apart from the occasional dramatic entrance for effect – it added variety). The family Igor had been an excellent servant and accompanied the young student dentist to Uberwald. While he was still attached to the Grume family (not literally, thank goodness), they had encouraged him to run a sideline business in body part supplies and some of his time was allocated to this. When needed, however, Igor was available to serve the family and remained very loyal.

Talbot looked towards the surgery door. His new patient must be due any time n… "Ah, Mr Chrysopase. Do come in, Sir. I have your new tooth ready."

Kayla was pulled out of her concentration by the vampires words.

she's right. I've lost am awful lot of blood, I should be flat on the floor by now.

She did feel a little light headed, and her hand still throbbed painfully, though the bleeding had slowed, but she still felt relatively good. But the last words caught most of her attention.

what's she saying. That only having one hand is an advantage? How exactly? Having to re-learn everything, eating, dressing, writing...

That was a point, it was her right hand, the hand she wrote with. How could she ever write home, to say why she had gone, and how could she be of use to anyone when that was her main skill? She didn't think that a knowledge of herbs and plants would really come in useful, here in the middle of the city, save for garnishing foods. that was a shame, for that was what she really loved. The plan to work for an Apothecary never happened, there were none here, just doctors who worked in the physical side of medicine.

Kayla drew in a deep breath, fighting back tears once again, not wishing to look weak after being praised on how well she had coped, and set her mind once again to the table where Sasha was, pushing all thoughts of those horrible consequences to the back of her mind.

Nathan nodded and winced when Sasha gave him the message.

"It's just as well the hting isn't a fake then, thanks" You've just made me quite a lot of money "As promised the other half of your money. I am an honest man and I always make sure I fulfil my contracts, keeps people happy and willing to do business in the future. I suppose there won't be a huge amount of business from now on though, since I am a government worker."

He had discovered who had been following him as well, it had been a member of the atch, they had bene quick, but he had retraced his steps and he was a very...observant person.

"They are not company that I keep often, but, unlike many people they keep their word. I hope they didn't give you too much trouble."

To drinks arrived one placed before Sasha, the other in front of Nathan.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

He gave her another quick little smile as the waitress walked away. It hadn't been that hard figuring out what Sasha enjoyed drinking.

Sasha became aware of the feeling of someone staring at her, she turned her head and saw the vampire she had met earlier glaring at her. Sasha grinned and waved, more to annoy the creature than anything else. When the glare remained fixed in her direction Sasha chuckled softly and turned back around catching sight of the girl from earlier, she gave her a smile then settled back in her seat facing Nathan once again. Sasha gave a tiny shake of her head at Nathans enquiry

"No, they didn't give me any trouble. People like that aren't usually the friendly kind so I wasn't surprised at my welcome...or lack of it"

A drink was put infront of her, Sasha stared in surprise at the strong milky coffee on the table. She looked up at Nathan , then back down to her drink. She took a tentative sip, two sugars, just as she liked it. How on earth had this guy known what to order?

Sasha took another sip, set the cup back down and smiled

"Um, thankyou. I have to say you're not doing too badly. We've only just become colleagues and already you know how I take my coffee"

Her eyebrows raised in a question, daring him to explain.

"Well, tomorrow should be interesting. An honest days work." she grimaced at the thought. "Aren't we the lucky ones."

Still feeling the eyes fixed on her neck, Sasha spoke in a low voice "Is that vampire still glaring at me? Man, some people like to hold grudges. I mean it's not like I didn't give her most of her gold back"

Despite the distance between the two tables, Verurteilen's acute hearing still picked up Sasha's words, and she growled under her breath, to the world in general

Yes, she hissed in her mind, because most "most" is the key vord here, is it? Vatch you back, pickpocketer, or I might just "mostly" kill you and leave you on ze street to die slowly in your own blood

Verurteilen sighed, cursing herself, because she knew that she would never kill without a payment, she was very solid on that matter. She was a reformed vampire, in a manner of speaking. She had promised herself instant death the day she killed for the pleasure of it..not again

Never again, she spat in her mind, I left zat poor child vithout his only family, and for such a stupid reason!

She wasn't an evil vampire, not anymore, she always took the care to do background checks before she took on contracts, she had rejected many angered and heartless clients in her time in Ankh-Morpork, declaring them dispicible for how much damage they were willing to cause, just for the loss of one life

Humans make me sick, she spat, to herself, not an uncommon phrase in her vocabulary

Nathan watched Sasha take a sip of the coffee and enjoyed the glimmer of surprise that flitted across her face. He gave her another quick smile at the quesitonning expression.

""I'm a pretty...observant guy, in my line of work you tend to have to be, if you're not you either get caught or...uhh...forced out of the makret shall we say?"

He took a sip of his own drink and made a point of not looking at the vampire standing and glaring at Sasha.

"Yes, an honest days work." Nathan repeated distractedly "As I said before, I'm used to it, I work long hours for very little gain, pretty honest really."

Perfectly aware of the vampires accute hearing Nathan leaned towards Sasha and in a stage whisper that was meant to be heard by Verurteilen he said.

"Yes, she is still watching you, vampires live for a very long time, they tend to hold grddges as they often have nothing better to do. The best use of a vampire I've seen so far, is in ashes form, as an egg timer hour glass."

He leaned back in his chair and looked directly at Verurteilen, flashing her his most genuinely charming and relaxed grins.

Sasha chuckled softly at Nathans vampire jibe. Absentmindedly she swept back the fronds of hair that were falling across her face then sat back in her seat, they immediatly fell back so she reached up and released it from it's clip. It fell around her shoulders in a deep golden wave. The sunlight was warm on her face and she closed her eyes for a moment savouring it. This morning she had been wondering if her future glimpses of sunlight would be through a set of iron bars. Opening her eyes again, she reached up and began to wrestle her tresses back into it's restraints and looked over at Nathan, trying to speak with her hair clip between her teeth as both her hands did battle with her plait.

" 'o, wha id oo goo eefore..." she removed the clip and claimed victory over her hair as she imprisoned it once again

"Sorry, I was asking what was your job before our lucky break with the patrician...or is that the sort of question that will get either carefully avoided or a deeply cryptic answer?" she asked, her eyes glinted with the twinkle of experience of somone who is used to dealing with people who don't like to talk about what they do. But after his mention of his line of work she couldn't resist asking.

People came and went up and down the street, one caught Sasha's eye. It was that blonde watch officer from this morning, she looked straight at Sasha who returned the look by raising her coffee cup on a mock salute and winking in a petty 'ner ner, look at me. I'm free and enjoying coffee in the sunshine' gesture. The woman cast a glance at Nathan then back at Sasha, her expression was unreadable and she didn't stop her brisk pace to whever she was headed.

Sasha put her cup back down and watched as the woman dissapeared down the street and round a corner "You know, I really don't like her. She's a good copper" Sasha's tone made it obvious that she did not see that as a good thing, not in the slightest. Good coppers were bad news, they wouldn't take a bribe and took the whole' upholding the law' thing much too far in Sasha's opinion.

Illyah walked into his new office and stood just inside the door surveying the room; there were a number of desks arranged on the floor around a central desk that was raised just a few inches above the others, large windows opened out onto the city below and lights hung from above.

Each desk was a beauty, he'd never had anything like this in the Watch; each one looked like it had been carved from a single slab of oak and each also had amazing inlays of what appeared to be gold and silver. The front of each desk had the city seal, again in gold, and the edges and tops of the desks were done in floral patterns set into the dark wood. He ran a hand across the top of one - very smooth.

'S not real gold though, probably just gold colored foil or paint.

The lamps on each desk were gold colored as well and the tiles had bits of gold and silver colored flakes in them.

Kind of like a Guild diplaying its crest or something. You walk in here and know that money comes into this office. Lets you know where the power is...

The light fixtures hanging from the ceiling were simple in design, but again had that silver color to them. Whoever had decorated this office seemed to have a fixation on the valuable metals motif.

Three of the walls in the spacious office had large towering book cases filled with ledgers and law books...some dated back a few hundred years.

Illyah walked to the center desk and guessed it was his own - normally he wouldn't be so presumptious, but his name was inscribed onto the name plate on front...so...

Looking around, he saw that each of the other desks had the names of the 'staff' he'd read about in the folder given to him by Vetinari.

He took a few seconds to place some personal items on the desk and check inside the drawers. Making a mental note of things that he might need in the near future, he turned and went to the nearest bookshelf and pulled off the last ledger on the bottom row.

"Hmm. This is the most current record of taxes collected by the city. I wonder how accurate it is."

Realizing he was talking to himself, Illyah took the book under an arm and proceeded to his desk. He let it drop with a 'thump' and a small mushroom cloud formed over his head. A fine layer of dust had accumulated over everything.

Hold on. This office hasn't been used in ..well...sometime. But, why would everyone be gone? I can understand needing a new tax collector, but a whole new staff as well?

Opening the book to the first page, he began to read...

Kayla say that the conversation at Sasha's table was less intense, so she wandered over, cradling her arm. The bandage was blood soaked, but the bleeding had stopped, and Kayla was starting to feel less light headed. As she approached the table she hung back, overcome suddenly with shyness. She stood behind Sasha's chair and waited.

Candice started hunting for somewhere to eat, as she was starving. Finally, she found a place that looked pretty busy. A couple of faces looked familiar, but she took no notice of them, after all, she knew a lot of people.

Within seconds, the manager of the place had come over to greet her and subtly check if an iconographer had followed. To his dissapointment, one hadnt, so he made a mental note to send out for one as soon as Candice had placed her order.

"I'll have...a large plate of bacon and eggs, and a strong black coffee". Candice smiled at the manager, knowing exactly what he had planned. IT never even occured to her to leave.

Nathan took another sip of his drink and mulled over how best to put it.

"I don't really have a job description per se, my clients generally find out about me through word of mouth. I think the best way of describing it is...I find stuff for my clients, objects, people you know and then they tell me what they want me to do with them. For example, appropriate a particular object. That sort of thing, the hours are long."

He opened his mouth to ask her another question but as he was about to, the girl wit hthe maimed limb came towards them and he stopped, the smell of blood made him nearly fall backwards off his chair. Abruptly he stood.

"Anyway, I will speak to you tomorow I suppose, bright and early."

Without another word or a greeting to Kayle, he disappeared.

Some people may have found Nathans sudden exit offensive, Sasha however was more concerned with what had scared him off. She stiffened and slowly turned to look behind her, subtly positioning her feet to give a swift lauch from the seat if it turned out to be trouble. Instead she saw the girl from earlier, her expression and posture relaxed

"Hello again, you're looking better now"

Suddenly something occured to her, she was late! Damn it, she had been so distracted by running that little errand for Nathan that she had completely forgotten where she was supposed to be right now. It had been worth it though, that extra gold would come in handy when she got where she needed to be. She jumped up to her feet

"Sorry to be rude kid but I gotta..."

something in the girls expression made her stop, Sasha paused and looked at the pleading hopefulness in the face of the girl, realisation dawned and Sasha took a step back

"Oh no! No way. You can't come with me. I'm in no position to be taking care of a kid"

She took another few steps back still seeing that pleading expression putting up her hands as is fending off the guilt trip emanating from the girls eyes

"Look I'm sorry, but I don't normally do the whole 'charitable stranger' thing okay? Yes, I helped you earlier but I wasn't about to walk away and let a kid bleed to death. I've done my part...I'm sorry, really I am"

Kayla sighed. Her one hope of a friendly face in this horrible town was gone. She looked forlornly back to the vampire before turning back to Sasha and forcing a smile.
"well, I'll erm... see you round..." her voice petered out and she turned back to Verutelien's table before her trembling lip could betray her. come on, you're stronger that this Kayla. Since when have you been so dependant on help
She just couldn't take any more today, the pain in her arm was constant and... nobody wanted a cripple.

Verurteilen watched as Kayla returned, and the vampire glared at Sasha once again, if her gaze could have been any colder, Sasha would have been forming frost and icecicles, then she stood up and walked around the table and over to Kayla

"Don't feel so bad," she said, as sympathetically as she could manage, "I've seen people have zere whole limbs cut off and still make a living, hell, I've seen dead people valking around vith a smile on zere face, some don't even have faces anymore" Verurteilen stopped herself, realizing that this was probaly not the best image to project in a young girl's mind, and continued, patting Kayla on the back, and smiled, "Do not vorry," she said, "you vill be fine"

Candice was about to complain that her food was taking too long to be served when it was placed in front of her. The first bit of bacon she removed from the plate was snuck down to Bruiser, who was snuggled up in the bottom of her bag. Then she started to eat the meal herself. While she was eating, the iconographer showed up, and started taking pictures of her and the store.

Candice ignored the iconographer and continued eating. Another piece of bacon was snuck to Bruiser. Eventually the iconographer disapeared, and Candice stood to leave. She had no intention of paying for her meal, but that was fine, as the manager had no intention of asking. He knew his business was going to get a whole lot more customers, very soon.

As Candice was about to leave, she spotted a vampire with a girl whose hand seemed to have been freshly removed.

odd...

She dismissed the though, however, when someone grabbed her arm. She expected it to be the manager asking for her to pay teh bill, and was about to give him a serve, but when she turned to yell at him she was surprised to see it was her fathers second in command.

"Mick, isn't it" she said, smiling, acting as if he were a lover and not an enemy. "Let go of my arm."

"Your father asked me to make sure you get to work tomorrow. Im taking that very seriouly. How dare you sneak out!" HE was mad, but kept his voice at normal talking level.

Candice giggled, noticing that they were being ignored, and hoping to keep it that way. "Relax, i'll get there. Stress less"

He went to pull her out of the cafe, but Candice stood her ground, then leaned in close to him. Mouth right near his ear, she whispered to him. "If you dont let go, i'll scream. The people here will come to my aid, and you know it." Mick let go of her arm, and Candice walked off. But she stopped at the entrance, blew a kiss in Micks direction, then ran off.

Sasha stood for a moment, she had done the right thing she was sure of it. She watched the girl return to her table where the vampire was still glaring at the thief, Sasha returned it with a scowl.

You wouldn't understand anyway

She hestitated, wondering wether or not to say somthing to the girl but decided to leave things well enough alone. The poor kid had had a rough day and Sasha just wasn't cut out for taking care of a kid. Every plant she had ever tended to had ended up a sorry sight of brown twigs sticking out of a pot of dirt, and every pet she had ever had had run away, except for Twinkle the goldfish who had committed suicide. Sasha had decided long ago that she just couldn't do the whole 'nurturing' thing.

She sighed and brushed her hair back from her face. Glancing at her watch she swore, probably louder than was nessecary, and began to run.

A few minutes of a dead out sprint brought her to a rundown street, the houses were basic but well cared for. evidence of years of repair could be seen all over the tiny buildings. Slowing down, her face flushed red form the extertion Sasha headed for one house in particular

Illyah had been staring at the ledger for so long his eyes burned and his neck ached. Everything looked alright, but he couldn't help the feeling that something was off...just by a bit.

All the entries were carefully written, not one mistake was penned. It was as if someone had practiced the entry before it was put into the book for all to see.

Someone was very meticulous. Very careful.

Slowly standing up from the desk and allowing a small stretch, Illyah replaced the ledger, gathered up his coat and left the room in search of something to eat.

For nearly 18 years he'd had lunch in the canteen at the Watch House, for the first time he had to actually go out and find it. The food at the Watch House wasn't so bad; he knew the younger officers didn't think too highly of it, but, well - it grew on you after a while...The coffee looked like muddy water and tasted like paint remover, but it did the job!

I could do with a sandwich and a bowl of hot soup.

Stepping out onto the street, he felt a little odd not being in uniform.

The troll's replacement diamond tooth was a comparatively straightforward operation and Talbot had been well paid for his 'trouble'. The old tooth had been badly damaged. Intriguing... He wondered how on the Disc that could have happened but decided it would be prudent not to ask so had held his tongue... for once. He had a habit of putting his foot in it. Concentration was easy when carrying out dental surgery. It deserted him completely during everyday activities, even when it mattered. One of these days it would get him into trouble… again. It had certainly been his parents' downfall!

Polishing the last of the instruments he would need later on, Talbot poured himself a drink and stared out of the window. His next appointment was already late. He sipped the thick red liquid absent-mindedly, not even noticing its metallic taste, and fell into a daydream. A few moments later he was shaken out of his reverie by a knock at the door.

Nathan looked up at the sky, night was drawing in, soon it would be time to head back and tomorrow would be the start of his governmental employment. Now however, he had one more order of business to attend to. Arriving at the dentist's surgery in the shades he had taken in the various details of the street it was on, committing all small details of information to memory for later retrieval. It would appear that the watch officer who had been following him had lost his nerve, either that or they had decided that the blonde watchman he had seen in the square while sitting with Sasha, would be a better 'man' to put on the job. Nathan had found out what she was, oh yes, you didn't survive in this business without learning where the real barbs were. Moving across the street he knocked the on the door and waited. It wasn't long before the door swung inwards to reveal, well Nathan would describe Igor as a man but every time he tried the word ran around his head and hid in a dark corner, so he settled for, Igor.

"Sorry for the lateness of the hour, I'm afraid I don't have an appointment, but I have business I need to discuss with a Mr Talbot. Would you mind letting him know I am here please."

Within a few minutes the Igor was back again and ushering him in. The place was not large, but then what space in the shades was? It was however clean and much better lit than many other dwellings around here. His eyes were drawn to the floor and he squatted down picking up a clump of fur. As he looked up he saw the man that had been described to him enter. Standing, still holding the clump of fur he flashed the dentist a quick smile, holding up the fur.

"Do you have a pet?"

Sasha approached the tiny house which was set in the middle of a row of identical dwellings. She looked casually around before knocking on the door. The hinges squeaked as the door was cracked open a notch to reveal a suspicious eye peering through at her, it widened in recognition and a squeal of delight could be heard from the other side

"You're here!"

The door was flung open and Sasha was admitted to the house, by the time she left it was beginning to grow dark and there was something that could be read as relief on her face as she bid goodbye to the occupants. Stepping back out onto the quiet twilight street she shivered slightly as the air, no longer warmed by the heat of the sun, began to cool and rubbed her hands over the goose bumps that appeared on her arms. Her stomach rumbled, not surprising really considering she hadn't even had chance to have breakfast before she was so inconveniently detained and thrown into the cells.

Sasha decided to see if the cafe was still open, if it was she could grab a quick meal then head back to her lodgings. A yawn escaped as she walked, it had been a very long, very unusual day, and she had a feeling tomorrow wouldn't turn out to be much different in way of length or unusualness.

A government worker? Sasha Vine, Thief, Pickpocket and bane of the Thieves Guild working for a wage?

She shook her head as she walked, if she hadn't been there when it happened she might never have believed herself.

Drawing near the cafe Sasha could see that it was indeed still open and the cooking smells that wafted down the streets made her mouth water. Clinking the coins in her pocket she went into the cafe, looking around to see if the girl from earlier was still there with her bloodsucking friend.

Perhaps she shouldn't have been so harsh on the girl, but she had meant what she said. She was in no position to be looking after a kid, even if she was the charitable type. Many accusations had been flung at Sasha in the past but being charitable was certainly not among them. Being a thief meant her life was far from consistent, she changed lodgings frequently to help obscure any trail she may have left for the Guild or the Watch, she went out at all hours and had nearly got herself locked up for a very long time. Definitely not good guardian material...

Why in hells names am I trying to explain myself to myself!

Shrugging it off she ordered her meal and sat down, whilst she waited for her meal she noticed a newspaper on the table, probably left by a previous patron. Flicking straight to the crossword Sasha looked around for a pencil when she became very aware of someone standing at her table, with exaggerated slowness she looked up...

"Yes?", said Talbot with a start.

The door creaked open in a cacophony of rusty hinges that he didn't remember being there before. Igor stood framed in the entrance.

"Thorry, Thur," he apologised. "I didn't wuite get the effect quite right there. I'll do thome more work on it. Meanwhile, there'th a man outthide athking for you, Thur. Thall I thow him in?"

Well, there was no sign of the late patient (what an appropriate term that was), so he replied, "Yes, Igor. Yes, that would be fine. I am expecting another patient, but they can sit in the waiting room until I've finished with this gentleman. I assume it's just a simple check up."

Talbot turned to assemble a few additional instruments as Igor, nodding deferentially to his young master, left the room. A moment later, Igor returned with a tall man who had barely entered the room when he bent down to pick something up off the floor. Rising, he flashed a quick smile – Hmmm, those look to be in excellent condition – and held up what look like a clump of fur. Did Talbot have a pet? What a strange question!

"Er, no. Animals don't seem to settle here for some reason," replied Talbot quickly. "Anyway, if you'd care to take a seat just here, I can just fit you in for a check up, if that's what you need. Anything more than that and you'll have to arrange a further appointm… Hmmm. Yes."

There was something in the man's look that suggested he wasn't here for dental treatment of any kind. Rather than sitting in the chair, he simply stood there and looked inquiringly at Talbot, whose own smile wavered.

"I'm sorry. I don't think I caught your name, Mr…?"

Verurteilen looked up and suddenly noticed the darkening sky, and turned back to Kayla

"Vell, it seems zat I have vasted my whole day at zis cafe," she said, "I must go, as I do not vish to spend my whole night here, as vell"

Verurteilen turned and began walking away, but stopped after a few yards, and spoke again, to Kayla, without turning around

"If you really need a traveling companion, you may follow me, if you vish," she said, "If not, zen you are on your own vith finding someone else to take care of you" She began once more, to walk away, and continued on

Verurteilen walked on and continued into the Shades just as it got dark outside, and stalked along the street, until a familiar name caught her eye. It was merely a plaque on the front of a building, stating a name and the business. Talbot Dentistry, Verurteilen read it, idly sucking at her teeth, the taste of dried blood staining her tongue

It was a moment before she realized that she was in fact standing in front of the window, and yet another familiar face caught her eye..It was the man she had seen talking with Sasha earlier that day. Vhat could he be doing, here? Verurteilen thought as she watched the two

As Verutelien started to walk away, Kayla allowed herself one last look at Sasha's table, hoping to catch her eye. Seeing her absorbed in her paper, Kayla had a mind to go over to her and say... well anything. Forcing herself to stand tall, she marched over with all the indignation she could muster and stood over Sasha's paper.

if this doesn't work I'm in serious trouble. I have no idea where Verutelien is off to, and even if I did I wouldn't know how to get there...

As Sasha turned slowly to look up at her, Kayla's resolve weakened at the faintly mocking face that she was presented with, and her face fell.

she doesn't want me.

Looking about the street, Verutelien was out of sight.

and now I'v lost the one person who was willing to take me

Kayla turned back to Sasha and stared, lost for words.

Somehow Nathan wasn't surprised when he was told that animals couldn't settle. Dropping the fur he watched as the dentist realised he was not here for any dental work. When he was sure they were both on the same page he flashed another quick smile, a disarming smile.

"I am afraid I didn't give my name. It's Gerald Peers I have been contracted for a number of weeks now in order to locate and return an object to it's rightful owner. I have finally managed to track it down to this office."

For what seemed like the hundredth time today, the hairs on the back of Nathan's neck stood to attention. He knew that someone was looking in through the window, but to turn to look would alert the watcher to his knowledge of their presence. He couldn't stop them from hearing the conversation, not that it mattered that much, he was confident he'd be able to deal with most problems. Deciding to keep it in mind he continued.

"I believe that a few weeks ago you had a client, a dwarf I believe who left behind a small drawstring pouch. I would like to have that pouch if it is at all possible. I can assure you that keeping it for your client will be pointless, I'm not sure if you read the times recently."

He held up a piece of the Ankh-Morpork Times, making sure that it was obscured from the window. The picture was gruesome, but clear. It showed a very dead dwarf who had been lanced with a railing, it hadn't even made the front page, that's the sort of city that Ankh-Morpork is.

"This is the dwarf who came here I believe and left that pouch with you. The people I've been contracted to find this pouch for, are eager to have it back."

He decided that he would not mention the fact that they'd be willing to pay, Nathan was forever an optimist, he believed that people might just be nice and hand stuff back that didn't belong to them, not to mention the fact he was a good negotiator.

Sasha looked up at the girl, then looked over both shoulders on the off chance that there was someone stood behind her who the girl wanted to speak to. Seeing no-one Sasha looked back at the downcast face in front of her and sighed in resignation, putting the newspaper back down on the table. On the opposite page she saw a picture of a dwarf who was dead, it was an easy deduction to make due to the small matter of the metal railing that protruded through his chest. Sasha shrugged and closed the paper, this was Ankh Morpork. Another death was of no consequence to her as long as it wasn't her death

She gestured to the other chair at the small table

"Sit down kid. What's your name?"

After the brief introduction Sasha sat back casually in her chair.

"I don't know what made you pick me kid but I meant what I said. You don;t want to be hanging around with the likes of me. I'm what your mother would call a 'unsavoury type'. A bad influence, you would be doomed forever"

This apparently had little effect on Kayla. Sasha's food arrived and she began to eat. Between mouthfuls she looked up from the plate

"I'm guessing you have no home to go to?"

Once the plate was clear Sasha pushed her chair back and looked down at the girl. Everyone deserved a bit of a break right?

"Look, come with me. I've got an idea...but let me make myself clear, I'm not your babysitter and I'm not going to play guardian either okay? Just follow me and I'll show you how you can help yourself okay?"

And with that Sasha stood up ready to leave, carefully ignoring the bill that had been placed on the table with her plate

"One more thing kid, when we get to the door run like hell!"

as she got to the door there was a holler from behind the counter and Sasha broke into a run, grinning as she paced herself

"Well, maybe there is such a thing as a free lunch huh?"

Illyah, formerly Sergeant Kuryakin of the City Watch was just about to enter the small cafe when the door flew open with a bang and two shapes took off at a run. From inside he heard a shout and looking through the still open door, Illyah could see the owner trying to run out from behind the counter.

Uh-oh. This can't be a good thing.

The man inside caught Illyahs eye and shouted again, "Hey you! Stop them! They didn't pay!"

"Well, I'm not...that is...I mean the Watch is..."

Nowhere to be seen. It must be a rule of coppers throughout the universe; you are not allowed to be anywhere near where a crime is currently being committed. As far away as possible will do just nicely, thank you very much.

Illyah looked to see if anyone else was about to give chase and save him the trouble of having to do it himself. It wasn't that he was opposed to such things...just that he had never been too sure of what to do if or when he ever caught someone. That's probably why he'd taken to supply so readily.

Oh hell. Here we go.

He wasn't in uniform, wasn't wearing the right shoes for running and hadn't actually ran in years - so his running was all knees and elbows without a whole lot of coordination.

"Uh..I say there - stop!"

He doubted they heard him, the two shapes were so far ahead of him that he figured he'd never get close enough to see them clearly, but he ran on if only for the look of the thing.

He hoped to spot a Watch officer along the way and let them take over. All he'd wanted was a sandwich and a bowl of soup.

He slid around the corners on one foot as the slick soles of his dress shoes lost their grip. He tripped over various unseen items and caused more than a few shouts of indignation as he plowed into those poor citizens unlucky enough to be on the same street with him.

"I...say...you...up...there...st - stop!"

His breathing became more labored and with a final stumble across the cobblestones, former Sergeant Kuryakin of the City Watch gave up.

"I'm...terminating..pursuit...in the name...of..public safety."

Holding onto his chest and gasping for every breath, Illyah could only stand and watch as the two figures receeded further into the growing darkness.

See? That's what I'm talking about - we need more Watchmen.

"Stop talking to yourself."

Oh. Sorry.

Kayla wanted to laugh as she say the man who had been chasing them crash so dramatically, but her breath was short and Sasha obviously knew this part of the city well, as she manouvered about the alleys and streets with a practiced ease that left Kayla struggling to keep up. She was not normally so short of breath so soon, but loss of blood had made her tired, and her sounding heart was causing her arm to bleed again. As Sasha darted into another street, Kayla tried to catch her wind before following on.

Kayla wanted to laugh as she saw the man who had been chasing them crash so dramatically, but her breath was short and Sasha obviously knew this part of the city well, as she manouvered about the alleys and streets with a practiced ease that left Kayla struggling to keep up. She was not normally so short of breath so soon, but loss of blood had made her tired, and her pounding heart was causing her arm to bleed again. As Sasha darted into another street, Kayla tried to catch her wind before following on.

There was that brief smile again. The man had announced himself as Gerald Peers but the name didn't ring a bell at all for Talbot. He suddenly felt wary which only usually happened to him when… No. He couldn't be. Wrong sort of teeth. And yet Talbot had definitely felt that something wasn't quite right, almost as if he was being stalked.

The man calling himself Gerald Peers was still speaking. He mentioned something about the pouch that Craggy had left for safekeeping and had seemed rather anxious about. Talbot had no idea what was in it and had agreed to look after it as a favour to a client. He looked at the cutting from the newspaper that was presented to him and saw the gruesome picture of a very deceased dwarf. The face was partially obscured by something so that Talbot couldn't see the mouth properly.

"I can't tell who that is, I'm afraid. I'm not much good with faces or bodies. Igor might know. I'll call him. Oh…"

Igor was already standing in the doorway before Talbot had finished his sentence. It could be awkward when he did that but, this time, Talbot was relieved instead.

"Igor. Do you recognise the person in this photograph?"

He indicated the newspaper cutting and looked at 'Gerald Peers'. "If you wouldn't mind letting him see?"

Why did he feel a shiver down his spine? It was as if a thousand eyes were watching him.

Verurteilen continued to watch the two men conversing, her ears trying to pick up as much sound as was possible through the thick glass of the window. She was focusing now on the dentist, something seemed different in him since she had seen him earlier that day, put she couldn't place her finger on just what it was

Her concentration was broken only by the feel of something rush by her, and she looked around just in time to see Kayla and Sasha darting off into the darkness of the night. Verurteilen rolled her silvery eyes in a I'd-Rather-Not-Ask manner, when an answer had already presented itself in the shape of a man trying desperately to catch up to them

Shaking her head sadly, Verurteilen looked over to the gasping man, and smiled

"You vill never catch zem," she said, to the world in general, "ze older vone is quicker zan she looks, and ze younger vone is far too persistent to give up to a man in your state of physical fitness, you vould ve vetter off trying to catch smoke vith your bare hands"

Sasha looked behind her once or twice and saw that for a while Kayla was keeping up with her just fine, but seeing the girl beginning to struggle Sasha ran into one final ally and stopped about halfway up, bent double with her hands on her knees. She breathed heavily but grinned up at the girl. Her eyes shone with the exhilaration and she let out a chuckle

"See? Bad influence. I'm already dragging you into my dark and crime ridden world"

She winked and stood up straight breathing less heavily now. They weren't too far from where Sasha wanted to go now. A couple of streets away was Sasha's lodgings. Not in the Shades but close enough to them that the rent was nice and cheap.

"Get you breath back for a moment kid, we're nearly there"

Kayla was glad for the stop. Though the run had left her feeling flushed and exhilarated, her arm was once more dripping sluggishly from the sodden bandages. Still breathless, she ripped off her sleeve and pressed it against her arm.
I hate this stupid thing she thought, glaring at her wrist as though it had offended her.

Candice headed back to her home, and entered through the front door. No one was around, so she went up to her room, and released Bruiser. Then she started to go through her wardrobe, trying to find something suitable for the bar she was going to.

Finally, she found a suitable dress, then re-did her hair, and left the house again.

The queue at the bar was phenomenal, only last night the place had been overly quiet. But Candice didnt notice the queue, instead walking straight up to the bouncer, who let her straight in. The owner of the bar spotted with her, and was over by her side in moments, complimentary drink in hand.

"Nice to see you back" he gushed, and led her to a booth. Candice sat down, and started looking around, seeing if she knew people. She did, and grinned. It was going to be a good night.

As Nathan had told Sasha, he was very observant and it was clear to him that the dentist was uneasy. Nathan was still not sure why he'd taken this job, the money was not great and he'd spent ages tracking the pouch down. Of course that was it wasn't it? The excitement of tracking down his target, to home in on it and then, finally, to acquire it, the money was just a bonus. Nathan didn't want to make this man feel uncomfortable though, he'd always taken a pretty relaxed attitude to what he did, he hadn't got into this to scare people, well not unintentionally in any case.

When Igor walked in Nathan obligingly handed him the paper clipping.

"thith doeth appear to bare thimilariteth to a previouth client of yourth matter."

Nathan looked out the window while he was waiting and realised that it was quite dark outside now, not late, but certainly night. Turning back he decided not to push too hard.

"I know this sounds like it's coming completely out of the blue and I understand if you need some time to confirm that is the dwarf I am referring to. I could come back tomorrow if it is more convenient?"

Deciding to take his sandwich and soup to go, Illyah had gone back to his rooming house and found his old spot on the roof waiting for him.

More and more stars appeared as the sky darkened and once again he sat there wondering.

What was I thinking of? Running through the streets like that. I could have...well...somebody could have been hurt.

"You're just feeling for yourself because they got away. Not only that, everyone saw you."

No! 's not that at all. I'm a Wat- was a Watch officer. I should have been able to do something.

"Why? You never did anything before. You just sat behind a desk counting bits and pieces all day. Even when you did go out on patrol, your nerves would act up and you'd have to go find some place quiet."

I don't have nerves! Who said I've got nerves? I don't have a single nerve in my whole body! I'm fine, I just don't like things getting out of control is all.

"Face it, you were a poor Watch officer and tonight was no different than your last patrol eighteen years ago. You need help."

I don't need help!

"Then why are you sitting in the dark talking to yourself, watching for lights in the sky?"

Oh.

"Glaring at it ain't going to help kid, look we'll bandage you back up when we get there. Come on"

After giving Kayla suitable pause to get her breath back Sasha beckoned for the girl to follow her. They cut through a few more alleyways and were nearly there when a large shadow lurched out of the darkness. The growing moonlight glinted off the knife in it's hand and Sasha stopped, gesturing for Kayla to stay right where she was. The shadow spoke

"Gimmee all you' money or I'll cu' you up" The drunken mugger staggered to his right then tried to focus on Sasha

"Oh-ho! Think turning into three p'ple will help ya eh? Well I'll show you!" he lurched forward, apparently aiming for the Sasha on his right and missing the real Sasha by a good few feet, the momentum carried his inebriated body forward straight into a pile of rubbish which was strewn against the wall. He tried to get up, fell forward into the wall and went down again

"You didn't ha' to hit me so hard" were his last words before he collapsed into the debris. Sasha rolled her eyes, grabbed Kayla's good arm and pulled her past the now unconscious shadow of terror.

A few more twists and turns brought them to the house where Sasha was currently lodging. They entered and Sasha closed the door behind them.

"Mrs Berger?" when no answer was forthcoming Sasha cupped her hands around her mouth and yelled louder "Mrs Berger? MRS BERGER!...oh sorry, didn't realise you were there"

A lady approaching the end of middle age stood with folded arms scowling at Sasha from a doorway

"What have I told you about disturbing the other guests?"

"Oh come on! The only other guests you have is Harold who is so deaf he wouldn't hear it if someone farted in his ear, Emilie who doesnt care less because, well to be blunt, she's several eggs short of an omlette and Joe who works night shifts and isn't here anyway"

Mrs Bergers glare turned to pure frost which then alighted on the girl accompanying her unruly tenant and the glare defrosted to something which could be interpreted as concern.

"Where's her hand?"

"How am I supposed to know that? All I know is it isn't where it's supposed to be"

Mrs Berger turned a withering look on the thief

"I meant, what's happened to this poor child?"

"Long story short. Drunk guy thought she was a thief and chopped it off. I took her to a doctor. End of story."

Whilst Mrs Berger tried to find someway to turn this apparent show of compassion against Sasha, Sasha turned round to face Kayla

"Mrs Berger is looking for someone to help around the house, I'll let her fill you in on the details. I need to nip up to my room...I'll see you in a bit"

She headed towards the stairs, hearing the beginning of the conversation as she took the stairs two at a time and left the hallway. From the way the kid had been trying to latch onto her Sasha guessed she had no home or family that she wanted to go to, Sasha had pointed her in the right direction, now it was up to Kayla.

Mrs Berger stood looking at Kayla for a moment then nodded at something

"Okay, I need someone to do a few chores around the place. You get free room and meals. I don't care what hours you work as long as your jobs get done. What you do in your free time is up to you but no overnight guests please. If that sounds good I'll show you to your room and you start tomorrow"

There was silence in the hallway as the old lady waited for Kayla's reply

Well, Igor had recognised the deceased dwarf in the photograph and he was good at faces (or indeed any other anatomy parts that people needed help with for that matter). But the dwarf hadn't said anything about handing things over to anyone but himself and Talbot was keen to stay out of trouble at that moment. Besides, the man didn't look threatening.

"Well, if you don't mind. This is rather an awkward time. I'm in the middle of surgery and I think it would be prudent on my part if Igor visited his cousin Igor at the mortuary just to confirm first. Perhaps you could come back tomorrow night?"

As he awaited a response, Talbot felt a sudden frisson. What was that? He looked past the man who was gazing out of the window. You'd almost think that shadow outside was a person spying on them. He shook himself. How silly! It was probably an illusion caused by the moon which tonight looked very bright and… full. He suddenly didn't feel well. Surely he wasn't going to have one of his 'turns'?

The vampire turned and suddenly caught Talbot's eye, but before he could make out who she was, Verurteilen had jumped into the air, flashing a quick smile at the pair of men

Landing gracefully on the rooftop, Verurteilen looked out and across the city. She picked out a spot, and then she was off. She silently jumped from rooftop to rooftop, leaping over chimneys and alleyways, it was all going well until her foot got caught on a roof's ledge, and sending her, with a scream, tumbling over the roof, and into the trashcans in the below alleyway

Mirabell sat on what had, until very recently, been her bed. She sighed, stood up and grabbed her things. Sitting here feeling sorry for myself isn't going to help. Right now, the biggest problem is finding somewhere to stay, and unless I do something, that problem will not go away. Now Move!
Meera hastily made her way out of the room, she hesitated one last time, one leg out of the window before sliding slowly down the drain-pipe.
Old habits die hard..

She wandered aimlessly round the city with the vague idea of checking out this tax-office. Creeping steathily over the rooftops (Old habits really do die hard) she suddenly noticed someone else.
That's suspicious, -why would someone choose to creep around on the rooftops? Meera looked around ehmmm, well actually.. No. I have a reason! I'm here because the streets are too crowded, that's it.

Embarrassed, Mirabell looked up at the figure nearby again, only to see them trip up and fall with a crash into the empty alley below.

Ooops! she thought briefly before calling out
'Excuse me! Are you alright? Do you need any help?'
She shinned quickly and gingerly down the facade of the building she had been on before cursing herself.
Drat! What am I doing? This could be anyone! What am I doing? People wandering around rooftops don't want to be seen, it's none of my business.

Ah well.. now that she had started it would look suspicious to run away.
'Are you ok?'

Upside down in the trashcan, Verurteilen kicked her legs and shouted some muffled curses. One of her legs kicked the wall, and sent her tumbling over and onto the ground

"Dammit!" the word echoed in the now dented can. After a few embarrassing moments of struggling, Verurteilen managed to pull herself out of the can, and awkwardly onto her feet. Then she noticed the girl standing in front of her. She quickley steadied herself

"Vhat?" she said, "Oh, yes, er, yes, I'm fine" she picked up a banana peel off of her hat, and tossed it away

"Er, right, zey do not seem to make rooftops like zey used to, anymore"

Mirabell watched as the figure struggled to get out of the dustbin.
Hang on, aren't I meant to be helping here?

By now the woman was out of the bin, so Meera stood back helplessly.

'Erm.. no, no.. -I don't suppose they do.' she replied slightly embarasssedly 'In fact one tripped me up just the other day. Cost me quite a bit of bother that did.. Um. Yes.'

Mirabell had a thing about silences. Arghh! What did I go and say that for? Don't tell anyone about anything to do with inhumation. That's the rule! ..b-but It was silent! I had to say something to fill it up!

Meera coughed and looked nervously at the woman. 'Can I lend you a hand?'

"Yes, zey can be a bother," she said, then mumbling, "but, I vould not be able to find half of my clients vithout zem" in the awkward silence that followed, Verurteilen, out of force of habit, idly played with the hilt of a dagger in her pocket, then she heard Meera's question, and immediately thought back to Kayla's incident, and she bit her tongue until she could trust herself not to make a tasteless comment on that matter

"Vhat?" she said, "er, no, I think zat I am all right"

Nathan nodded and agreed that he would return tomorrow evening, there wasn't really a great deal of time to negotiate. Stepping outside he realised that the city had been plunged into night and that the only things lighting the streets were the moon and the stars. Nathan was suddenly aware how far from his place he really was. He needed a good nights sleep to be ready for tomorrow, but it looked as though he wasn't going to get it tonight. Finally deciding that the longer he stood here the longer it would take him to get back home he took off at a run. Running through dark streets is never a good idea, running at night through the shades is…well it's never conducive to good health, however tonight the gods must have been with him as he did not meet anyone nor did he crash into anything. As he emerged from the shades he looked around, he was still a good run from his home. As he stood there some unseen assailant clubbed him in the stomach, he collapsed, winded to the ground. Feeling his calm slipping he scanned the street, there was no one there, nor had anyone taken anything form him. Regaining his footing he started off at another run, slower than the last, but no less earnest.

So his dash went, occasionally crashing into unseen obstacles, getting up and starting again. He wasn't sure how long he'd been running, it felt like an eternity, when the familiar shadow of his small home came into view. Deciding the front door would be completely beyond him he pushed open the window and fell through it. He lay on the floor then, the room spinning and his lungs gulping air. Finally he stood and pushed the window shut, there was a click and Nathan dragged himself to his room. Tonight was going to be a long night.

Sasha pulled the wooden door shut behind her, helping a few more paint flakes dislodge from their resting place. She walked across the threadbare carpet to the chest of drawers that stood next to the window. A old yet polished mirror sat on top of the chest and Sasha tutted as she caught a glimpse of her reflection. The sprint from the cafe had left her with a mass of slightly curling tendrils framing her face. She rescued her hair clip which was clinging on to the last available mass of hair and put it by the mirror. She raked her fingers through her unruly tresses, then gave up. She would take a brush to it later.

Taking hold of the sides of the chest of drawers Sasha dragged it away from the wall, just far enough that she could pry up the loose floorboard that concealed her hidy hole. She took up the board and added what was left of the money Nathan had given her into a quite plump looking leather purse that sat nestled in the dark cavity. Before closing the hole back up she reached back into the purse and counted out enough money for next weeks rent and added a couple of extra dollars out of habit. Sasha had discovered long ago that a landlady would be very understanding of a tenants situation if that particular lodger always paid their rent on time and often paid a little more than was needed. Awkward visits from say, the watch or the Guild, were handled with a simple "Sasha Vine? Sorry sir, no-one here by that name." because no self respecting land lady in Ankh Morpork would want to lose such a reliable source of extra income no matter where the money came from. It was an arrangement that worked for everyone involved...except for the Watch of course.

Sasha closed up the hiding place and dragged the chest back to it's original position. A faint scream could be heard from somewhere in the night followed by a crashing sound. Sasha stuck her head out to investigate, saw nothing, heard nothing more so shrugged and ducked back inside closing the window against the chill of the night. She walked across her room and opened the door, faint noises and voices could be heard from the various rooms as Sasha went in search of Mrs Berger to unite her with the handful of dollars that would secure yet another week in this dump ,with the bonus of no trouble from unwanted visitors. The thought occurred to her that she probably didn't need to do this now she had been roped into the new job, but old habits die hard.

She stifled a yawn as she walked down the stairs, perhaps she should get some sleep soon. The temptations and opportunities of the night were great for a thief but she doubted if Vetinari would be very understanding if she overslept tomorrow. A small smile crossed her face, maybe just a quick outing tonight...

Illyah gave a stretch as he stood up from his spot on the roof and began to make his way back inside to his room. He heard a commotion outside, probably from just the next road over, but living in Ankh-Morpork his entire life had shown him that such things were common. Not hearing any associated screaming or shouts for help, he contniued into his apartment where he located the file that Vetinari had given him.

He still wasn't sure about this whole tax coordinator thing, but his time in the Watch had almost been at an end and he hadn't been ready for retirement, so...

Flipping through some of the pages, Illyah came across one marked as being the minutes of a meeting that had taken place a few years back when all that trouble with Leshp had arisen.

This more of a transcript really; Lord Downey was asking about the money needed to raise an army, Vetinari told him that Ankh-Morpork was in fact bankrupt and then gave a couple of good reasons why.

The Guild of Assassins had taken in just over AM$13 million that year but only paid 47 dollars 22p in tax to the city. The Accountants Guild had received over 7 million dollars and had not paid any taxes at all - but they applied for a $200,000 rebate and got it! Or at least most of it.

What was happening here? Even more curious was how this had been allowed to continue. Once the Patrician had known of this he had surely...hadn't he?

Surely what?

"You know -done something about it?"

He did. He got himself a new tax coordinator.

"What happened to the old one?"

Things.

"Oh."

Illyah got up and walked over the window, breathing the night air. It still wasn't fresh, but certainly better than what you got during the heat of the day.

"Why the renewed interest now then for yet another tax man? Things have been this way for years, why decide to change it now?"

Maybe they need an army.

He was never going to get any rest. His mind was working over these questions and he was trying to figure out what he was going to do when he met his staff tomorrow.

"I'm going for walk. Are you coming?"

No. I think I'll read a bit before turning in.

"Suit yourself."

Nathan staggered into the empty tax office, the place smelt of old leather and light was halted from coming through the windows by the years of dust that sat there. Grateful for the semi-darkness Nathan moved towards one of the silver and gold inlaid desks and lay down. His ribs were bruised and his muscles screamed in protest every time he moved, not a great start to his first day of work really.

Last night had turned out to be rougher than he had hoped, but to be fair no more than he had expected. He really needed something to eat and coffee, coffee was very important. Closing his eyes he wished for a cup of coffee, but when he opened them again he was still lying on a desktop surrounded by crumbling ledgers. A muscle in his cheek spasmed and he rubbed it to try and soothe it, as he did so he felt the deep scratch and paused, he couldn't remember any scratch, how had that happened? Obviously just one of those things he guessed. Finally deciding that being sprawled out on a desk might not give the best of impressions, Nathan stood up and gingerly sat down. Opening a ledger he looked at the figures for a moment before putting his head on it and dozing.

Candice stumbled out of the bar early in the morning clutching tightly to a piece of arm candy. Once again, she'd drunk was too much, but it didnt bother her. The sunlight did though.

"We need coffee" she told the man next to her, struggling to remember his name. "And bacon"

He agreed and the two of them set off to find breakfast, all the while being followed by iconographers. He seemed to be loving the attention.

Candice didnt even realised they'd made it to a place and that she'd ordered until she was halfway through her coffee. The man - Adam, she was pretty sure his name was - was chatting away about something, but Candice didnt know what. She watched him instead. He was handsome, no doubt about it, beer goggles hadnt affected her this time. But the more she tuned in to what he was saying, the more annoying he got.

shame. He could have been fun for a few weeks

A niggling thoguht in the back of her head suddenly made itsself known. You have to go to work.

"Oh crap! She announced. "I have to go. Was nice meeting you." She stood up, and left.

"When can i see you again!" he yelled after her, but she ignored him, and fled home.

Sasha yawned and blinked in the morning light as she stepped out of the house and made her way through the still fairly quiet streets. Last nights outing hadn't been as quick as she had planned but had yielded some very useful information from one or two acquaintances. Needless to say the leather purse hidden in her floorspace was ever so slightly heavier this morning, and she had manged to grab a few hours sleep. All was well with the world, except for the small matter of having to go to a legitimate job for the first time ever

She took her time reaching the tax office, grabbing a newspaper and a coffee on the way. She entered the office and took a good look around, the first thing she noticed apart from the amount of gold imitation and polished wood in this room was a sleeping figure slumped over a ledger. She looked at her coffee then back at the battered looking Nathan. She walked over and sat on the edge of the desk, plonking her coffee right in front of him she was about to shake him when she looked down and saw her name. Blinking she re-read it to make sure she wasn't seeing things. Nope, it wasn't her imagination, a little plaque set in wood sat on the desk with the words 'Ms Sasha Vine'. She grinned, that was kind of cool. She shook Nathan by the shoulder

"Hey, wake up. I'll have you know you're sleeping on my desk"

Verurteilen had easily found her alleyway half of an hour later, and settled down in her usual spot in the corner

The hours passed fairly quickly, it seemed to her, before she got up, and noticed that she had a visitor standing, and nervously fidgeting, at the mouth of the alleyway

"I am avake, now," she said, standing up, and tying her hair back, she continued on as the man stepped nervously inside, "you could have simply knocked on a trashcan, or something, I vould have heard it"

"I did not think that it would be wise to disturb you, miss," he said, intentionally keeping his head low

"Vhy are you acting suspicious?" Verurteilen said, carefully, and then it hit her, "you're an assassin, Jasper Marley, I believe" the man jolted back in utter shock

"How could you tell?" he wailed, "I was so careful, I dressed up in these plain clothes, and everything!" Verurteilen smiled

"Believe me," she said, "I can tell"

"It's just so much cheaper than the assassin's guild, you see," he bawled on, "oh, please do not let Lord Downey know that I was here" Verurteilen waved him into silence

"I vill not," she said, "if you vill not"

"Deal," said the man, nervously, and he handed Verurteilen an iconograph of a middle aged man

"Ah," said Verurteilen, "Isaiah Barter, of ze farmer's guild, if I am not mistaken, no family, and lacking in ze vay of friends, I vill take zis client, Mr Marley, for ze payment of three hundred dollars"

"Deal," he said, as he walked out of the alleyway, "bless you, miss Veurteilen" Verurteilen turned and smiled into the shard of the broken mirror that was hanging on the wall

"Blessings upon ze condemned," she said, "how ironic" and with that, she set off to do her morning's work

The visitor agreed to return the following evening but Talbot didn't have chance to say anything more as a wave of giddiness swept over him and everything in his view turned a deep red.

"Are you alright, Thur? Perhapth you thould thit down and have a retht. I told you you'd been overdoing it again. You know you thouldn't try conthentrating on anything but teeth. It only maketh you ill if you do."

Talbot felt a strong hand take hold of his shoulder and he was manoeuvred into a chair. It felt so hot suddenly. He heard the sound of the door closing quickly and firmly somewhere in what seemed like the far distance. There was a brief whimper and the sound of the door re-opening.

"Oopth. Thorry, didn't thee you there, Mr Maurithe. Didn't expect you back again tho thoon. I'm afraid Mr Grume ithn't ready for hith next client yet. Pleathe would you mind waiting outthide for a moment while he cometh to. He'll be ath right ath rain in a flath. Oh and here, try thith. You'll find witth hathel workth well on bruitheth."

Igor's footsteps echoed on the surgery floor and Talbot felt his head being tilted gently backwards and liquid poured slowly into his half open mouth. He'd been burning up and his mouth had become dry so the drink was welcome, if disgusting to taste. For some reason he craved blood and disjointed memories began to stir; a carriage travelling at night; a sudden flapping; his frightened parents; fangs; blood; the world spinning faster and faster; blackness and silence. Then, just as suddenly as it came, the illusion vanished and reality came back into focus. What had just happened? He'd had similar episodes before but the visions in his head were more vivid this time than the last. He wasn't sure what had triggered them this time. Was it the moving shadow outside? Or perhaps the brightness of the moon?

"If you're feeling better, Thur, I'll go and thee Igor as you requethted. And thall I bring Mr Maurithe in now?"

"Er, no, Igor. Thank you. No. I think I need to rest. Please ask Mr Maurice to return tomorrow evening instead. He may not take it well but I'm sure you can handle it. Just see him out and lock the door behind you when you leave for the mortuary, will you?"

Igor nodded and left. There was a low grumble from the next room as the servant spoke to the werewolf, followed by a disgruntled growl in response and the sound of the front door slamming as Maurice disappeared into the night.

On the nearby bench, Talbot saw the remainder of the potion Igor had given him and, taking the flask, downed the rest. It was a miracle what Igor could achieve in a well-equipped laboratory. Talbot felt much better now but not well enough to walk home unaided. Perhaps tomorrow would be a better day.

From a large cupboard behind him, Talbot pulled out a blanket and pillow. He placed the pillow on the head of a battered old leather armchair in the corner of the room, lowered himself carefully into the seat and, pulling the blanket over his knees and up to his chin, settled into a deep sleep.

Opening his eyes, Nathan raised his head and saw the coffee, realising his wish had been granted he took the cup and downed it's contents, a dangerous thing to do with Ankh-Morpork coffee, but such was his mindset. He winced, it was strong but terribly sweet. Only once he had drunk it, did he look and see the fortress of wild hair that watched him. Replaying what she had said in his mind, he looked at the small plaque and flashed her a brief smile.

"Sorry, I didn't realise we'd have assigned seating."

Standing he moved stiffly around the room until he found his desk. He picked up the plaque with his name on it and dumped it on the floor. It looked almost identical to Sasha's desk except it had blue leather instead of green. Turning to the thief he spoke.

"Yes, I'm sure you're very clever, as I stood up you stuck your right hand into my jacket and you took my knife. You're not supposed to grope your victim when you are going to steal from them. Can I have it back please?"

Nathan held out his hand in expectation of the return of the knife. He didn't mind losing things, but the knife, that was special, it had been a gift and wonderfully balanced, true there were probably more ornate things, but this one served its purpose. He shouldn't be so attached to it he supposed, it was just a knife after all.

Candice dragged herself up the stairs to her room, and collapsed on her bed while a maid ran a bath.

"You didnt come home last night"

Candice groaned, and buried her face deeper in the pillows. The last person she wanted to deal with had just walked in.

"You better not enter my bedroom unannounced again" she told Mick, looking up.

"You're my responsibility. And you're still drunk."

"NOpe. Im hungover."

"You'll be late."

Candice noticed the maid leave the bathroom.

"I'm not late yet. Now leave my room."

Mick turned and left, but stood right outside her door.

Candice climbed off her bed, and dissapeared into the bathroom for a quick bath. Then, drying herself, she set about trying to find something appropriate to wear to her new job, all the while sending longing looks at her bed.

None of her clothes were right. Most were now on the floor. Mick banged on the door.

"You ready yet?"
"Just getting dressed!"

Finally settling on something simple, she pinned her hair up, and left her room.

"Finally" mick muttered, and escorted her down the stairs to the waiting coach.

Candice napped on the trip to the tax office, but woke when Mick practically shoved her out of the coach.

"off you go. its that building, just there."

The coach sped off, and Candice entered the building. The other twofrom the cells were already there, and she was vaugely aware of soe tension in the air, but apart from muttering a 'hi' in their direction, she ignored them. noticing that one of the desks had her name on it, she sat down at it, then lay her head in her arms, on the dsesk, and fell asleep.

Illyah walked into the tax office sometime after sunrise - he hadn't slept that well and had decided to bring some coffee with him.

At the last second he thought of bringing some extra and upon entering the room, figured that had been a good idea.

"Ah, good morning," he said, walking over to his desk trying to juggle his papers and the cups of coffee.

"I'm Illyah Kuryakin. You can call me Mr Kuryakin, Illyah...or ah..." He'd never been good at introductions.

Setting everything down and looking at the trio he flipped through the file and selected some papers.

"You must be...Nathan. Nice to meet you." Looking down at the paper, he read again. "You miss, are Candice - here, have some coffee."

Consulting the file once more, Illyah looked at Sasha.

She looks familiar.

"You are..er, Sahsa." Not wanting to seem like a complete fool, Illyah decided against asking her if they'd met before and sat down.

"I have been assured by the Patrician that each of you is an expert in your respective fields, but unfortunately he did not mention what those were exactly. That shouldn't be problem really. We're here to collect the taxes for the City of Ankh-Morpork."

He was about to say that this should be a fairly easy task, but things very rarely were that easy.

"I am new to the tax coordinating business myself, having only just come over from the Watch, but...ah..

You have seen her before.

"No I haven't."

Yesterday? Last night?

"Surely not."

Illyah stood up and walked over to the window in order to give him something else to focus on for a minute.

"I'm thinking that we should probably work out some housekeeping issues first. Maybe decide how to divide up the city, determine priority assignments, that sort of thing."

Walking now to the shelves of books and ledgers along one wall, Illyah pulled down several and handed them to his new staff.

"These are the records for the last 5 years of taxes collected by the city. Everyone from the average citizen to the guild masters are listed here. Because of some information recently made known, I'm more concerned about the big targets - the average citizen doesn't have too much to worry about from us just yet."

Sitting down at his desk he sat back in the chair and ran his hand over the gold trim on the arm.

"I'd appreciate any ideas you may have. I know this may be a little different from what you are used to, but I've been in Ankh-Morpork all my life - there's a solution to any problem."

Sasha stayed perched on her desk and noticed the stiff way in which Nathan moved. Making no remark on her observation she simply shrugged when he requested his knife back and pulled it out of her pocket. Holding the handle she weighed it up in her hand

"Nice knife, very well made." She tossed it from one hand to another then made a couple of movements against an imaginary assailant. Her brief demonstration of her quick blade skills was interrupted by the entrance of Candice who then slumped across a desk. Another one who'd had a rough night from the looks of it. Sasha grinned and stood up, she approached Nathan and held the knife out for him to take and patted her other pocket.

"I prefer mine though"

Through her apparent 'no hard feelings' smile something was nagging at her. That was twice now this man had detected it when she had dipped his pockets. She prided herself on being an extremely good pickpocket, it was the first type of thievery she had ever learnt and one she had become very adept at. Add that to the way he knew exactly what drink to order for her in the cafe and the result was a few suspicions about one of her new colleagues. She didn't know exactly what these suspicions were but she was suspicious nonetheless

Before she could dwell on it any further the door opened once more and in came the man she had seen in the watch house yesterday. She listened as he consulted his papers

Why's he looking at me like that?

She was sure she had never robbed him so perhaps it was nothing. She stayed silent as she took a ledger from Illyah and flicked through it, Big targets huh? She read through some of the names of Guilds and noble families in the city. It became apparent that her new job wasn't going to be boring after all.

Taking money from people, well she already knew she was good at that but now she was allowed... no, expected to do it and she would get paid for the privilege. Things could be worse.

"So, Priority Assignments? I'm guessing by that you mean we start with the Guilds?"

Had she just said that? What on earth was she thinking?

"The main Guilds I mean. Thieves, Assassins, Seamstresses. Hit the big players first, set an example so we can move to the minor Guilds then nobility then the average citizens "

Shut up woman! You want to go see Flannelfoot and tell him he has to give you lots of money?

Nathan watched as the thief made her imaginary swipes through the air with his knife. She was certainly competent with it, but the blade had been weighted for him, so he wasn't surprised when she said that she preferred her own. As Candice entered Nathan took back the proffered from Sasha.

"You're good, it might come in useful on our rounds, I'm glad we're both on the same side."

Again he flashed a smile, now that he had the knife back he felt a great deal better. As the door opened for the second time he secreted back in his jacket. Looking to the entrance he saw Illyah entering and followed the figure of his new boss waiting for someone else to speak, however he nodded when Illyah introduced himself. Is the guy talking to himself and responding or just spouting random phrases? Taking the ledgers he placed most of them on the desk and picked up the top one, opening it up at a random page. The script was neat and cramped, typical clerk writing, but the figures seemed, well they didn't seem to make sense, more money was going out than was coming in.. As Sasha spoke Nathan's head came up quickly.

"I can take the seamstresses guild, not a problem."

He liked the idea of being able to get through a door behind which lived, in his mind, young nubile and mostly single women, after all he had all the time in the world to get the money out of them, he didn't have to do it right away and beside He had a feeling that going into the Assassin's guild would certainly be a mistake. Looking back down at the figures he frowned again.

"None of these numbers make any sense, it says that we are actually paying people money? How does that work?"

Candice raised her head off the desk when she realised she had been given coffee, and started drinking it without an indication of thanks. She then started to collapse back, but then heard that word she didnt know again.

Tax.

"What IS tax?" she asked, sleepily, as Nathan went on about paying people. "People keep ignoring me when i ask that."

Illyah thought about the question asked by Candice and tried to explain.

"Tax is the way by which a city or country can raise enough money to pay for things the citizens need or want. For example, Lord Vetinari won't come to you Candice, and say, I need six thousand dollars to help train and equip and new Watch officer, but if everyone in the city paid a dollar each every year in tax, then the city could hire dozens of new officers."

He then addressed Nathan, "But you are right, somewhere the money isn't making it to the city. It's either being collected and then...er, diverted, or isn't being collected in the first place. Either way, people are getting rich off of the city and it is hurting the citizens."

"The more money a particular person or organization makes, the more tax they pay. The more tax collected by the city, the more things the city can do for everyone concerned."

Illyah pointed to a map of Ankh-Morpork on the wall and suggested that the city be divided among the staff. He also noted the locations of the guilds; he wasn't too sure how to go about handling the Masters just yet, but they were definitely among the top priorities.

He laid out on the table a set of papers, each marked with the name of a particular guild, its estimated income for the last year and the amount of tax it had paid - compared to what it should have paid.

"We can ask for payment up front, maybe offer a time period over which the balance can be paid off, or if it comes down to it, we can begin to seize property and bank assets."

You would really do that?

"Er...I'd rather not have it come to that, so whatever can be done to get the funds with the minimum amount of fuss would be best."

He looked at Nathan Sasha and Candice in turn and said, "There is an allowance of sorts for each of you. I'm not saying anything in particular, but you are now...government officials for the city. It might be best if you dressed the part."

Oh great. Now they'll all run out and buy themnselves brand new coaches and-

"Hush, please."

Quickly looking down at his desk and the papers, Illyah added, "I'll will of course need receipts for anything you buy with the allowance."

Composing himself, he addressed them again, asking for input. "If anyone has any suggestions as to how we might be able to do this efficiently, I'd be grateful."

Efficiency wasn't a word used too often in Ankh-Morpork. Things just happened, efficiency didn't figure into it