Shinobi and Wealth
AN: This is a slight AU, in that (take a deep breath) Sarutobi never died but just resigned, Sasuke never went evil, Akatsuki disbanded after the nine-tailed fox, Team 7 never met Sai, Orochimaru died of a cardiac arrest caused by stress (his big ass snake crept up behind him), Itachi made up with Sasuke, the Kazekage (Gaara's dad, cos' he's a dickhead) got assassinated by some random Mist nin, and loads of people therefore didn't die: Jiraiya, Asuma, Hayate, Kimimaru, Chiyo, etc etc.
Also, in the Ouran section, Mori and Honey are one year younger so they do not leave school at the end of the series. Haruhi and Tamaki never got together and Tamaki still sees her as his daughter.
This story is set at the end of the Ouran series and when Naruto and the gang are 16 (but they still act like 8 year olds, like in Naruto).
Warnings: Slash, het, threesome, slight twincest, slight language, slight violence, lols, slight AU.
Pairings: Tamaki/Naruto, Kyoya/Kakashi, Sasuke/Haruhi, Sakura/Hitachiin twins.
LOLs. If we don't get enough reviews, we won't continue.
Disclaimer: We don't own Ouran or Naruto, we just like to write mildly amusing stories about them, and like to imagine what happens if the characters meet. We then like to giggle in fangirl-ish glee about several different pairings before finally choosing four to write about. But we still don't own either of them=[.
Chapter 1 - Kyoya Makes Haruhi's Life Difficult
Through the doors of one particular music room, 3, and its showering of rose petals from seemingly nowhere, stood an annoyed Kyoya Ootori, also referred to as Shadow King, or (strangely) mother.
Hunched over his laptop, one name was constantly presenting itself on various pieces of data within the attached notes of 'Why Tamaki Suoh has special needs'; a name belonging to the cross-dressing female sitting opposite him, Miss Haruhi Fujioka. There was something important that he had to remember about Haruhi, but what was it?
In order to remind himself, he flipped through his notebook to future dates before he finally found the correct one and he chuckled to himself as he read the reminder.
"Tamaki!" Kyoya called, "Tamaki, come here!"
Tamaki arrived with the exact same elegance that he had been previously preaching to Haruhi and posed next to the chair beside Kyoya, hand outstretched like Hamlet. With a tilt of his head he answered, "Yes, mother?"
"Tamaki," Kyoya began in a soft voice so as not to be overheard, "In two months time it is the summer holidays."
Tamaki stared blankly at him. "You mean you disturbed me from my lesson with Haruhi just to tell me that?"
Kyoya shook his head, "No, Tamaki, you requested that someone or a group of people should watch over Haruhi in the month before the summer in case she should take a summer job again." He paused and glanced at Haruhi, "And by the way, Haruhi wasn't listening to your 'lesson', she was listening to Honey-senpai."
"What?" Tamaki yelled in disbelief, turning his head in Haruhi's direction to confirm that she was, in fact, listening to a rather captivating story that Honey-senpai was telling her while he ate some cake she had brought. "And the dream got even weirder! Suddenly the little cupcakes started to dance around the giant blue Usa-chan."
However, Tamaki was quickly over his anger as he thought about the upcoming summer holidays. "There's no way I'm letting my Haruhi work in a bed and breakfast ever again! She will not be reduced to such low and drastic commoners' actions! She will act like a true gentleman and take a proper summer job among rich, clean and high pedigree people!"
The entire club, with the exception of Kyoya, who was concentrating on his laptop, and Honey, who was eating cake, were staring at him. He continued his rant none the less.
"I will not put myself and the other club members through such a harsh punishment of entering a commoner's bed and breakfast, nor will I let them stay there again. That was far too painful last time! We will not go through the rigorous task of saving our damsel in distress from such a place again! She will not-" He was cut off by a rather unimpressed Haruhi.
"Um, Tamaki-senpai, you really don't have to say all that. If I want to take a-"
"No!" Tamaki roared, "I shall have some guards watch over you night and day; you will be safe from the harshness of a summer job!"
"Tamaki-senpai!" Haruhi yelled, "You can't just stop me from taking a summer job! And I don't want guards guarding me; that will mean I won't get any privacy at all!"
"Be quiet Haruhi, and listen to your daddy," Tamaki began in a fatherly tone, "Kyoya, I want at least twenty of your police force guarding her house day and night. Actually, make that forty..."
Tamaki continued to explain to Kyoya exactly what he wanted when Kyoya said, "I'm sorry Tamaki, but it is in the interest of my parents that they keep one of the most prominent banks in Japan safe from any types of robberies in case their connections with the bank should be severed. With the size of the company and the amount of branches, it seems that all the Ootori police force is in use until further notice. I'm sorry, but sparing even ten would be too much. I can't help you here I'm afraid."
"He seems almost cheerful," Haruhi muttered, "but not that I'm complaining." She smiled happily to herself.
Tamaki stared at Kyoya with goggled eyes. He was silent for a few moments and the club began to wonder what might next happen.
"Honey! Mori! One of you! You must have some sort of guards your can spare me!" He seemed almost desperate now and was pleading them with tears in his eyes. In these sorts of situations those irresistible puppy eyes were called for.
Both Honey and Mori looked at each other with knowing glance.
"Well... We may happen to know a few people" Mori began.
Shizune flipped through the stack of pages on her desk, sighing. Sorting mission requests was a job usually done by the Hokage, but as Tsunade was once again out of her mind on sake…she would just have to do it…again.
There were eight piles on her desk, each for a different section, ANBU, SS class, S class, A, B, C, D and Team 7. Teams 7 were special. They were so ridiculously strong. They could handle SS class assassinations and S class hostage situations just fine, but send them off on a simple B class diplomatic mission and, well; it was never spoken of again.
Shizune glanced down at the request in her hand, perhaps a C, maybe B; it was just civilians after all. She was just about to place it in the B class, for safety in an almost unknown country, when a wicked grin spread across her face; Team 7, excellent…
Several of the shinobi on duty shuddered at the mad cackling echoing through the Hokage tower.
Tsunade groaned, stupid Team 7 making her wait so long. And Shizune had confiscated her sake. She couldn't be sober now, goddammit! Nobody could handle Team 7 without at least a little drink! And they were late again!
"Yo." Kakashi was crouched on the window frame, holding that damn porno book written by the super perv himself and eye-smiling at her. Eye-smiling! After he had nearly given her a heart attack! Really, it was a wonder how Sarutobi handled him for so long.
"Oh, I'm so sorry master! I tried to get them to hurry but Naruto was being stupid, as usual." Ahhh, her little apprentice, older, but still with the same mannerisms as before. In a serious situation, of course, she was the picture of a perfect shinobi, but when it was not a matter of life and death she still worshipped Sasuke and insulted Naruto. All of them acted exactly like they had when they were first starting off as a team. Shizune thought they did it just for fun, Tsunade just thought they were idiots.
"It wasn't my fault! Sasuke-teme was being a stuck up..." And there went the orange-head himself.
"Shut it, baka! Sasuke isn't stuck up. Are you Sasuke?"
"Hn"
"See! Can't even be bothered to answer us! Just you wait Sasuke, when I become Hokage; you won't be able to be stuck up to me. Believe it!"
"Beleeb it!"
"Shut it, teme!"
"Dobe"
"Teme!"
"Dobe"
"TEME!"
"SHUT UP ALL OF YOU!" Tsunade massaged her temples. Children, all of them! And Kakashi certainly wasn't helping, sitting there grinning like a lunatic, she couldn't see it, but she knew it was there! She took a deep breath and started pleasantly:
"Now, I have a mission for you..."
"Well, we knew that Granny Tsunade, why else would you drag us up here?" Annoying little orange brat...
"Oh, I don't know, Naruto, maybe because of the Vaseline all over the ANBU training weapons?" Ahhh, Uchihas, such talent in extracting useful information.
"Naruto", her voice was a dangerous purr, "Do you know how much paperwork that little incident caused?"
"Well, I'm impressed he managed to get in there in the first place… Actually, you know, I'm really not. I trained him, after all."
Tsunade turned her face to look at Kakashi, smiling dangerously. But the jounin wasn't looking; his one visible eye was trained upon his book. Grrrr, that book…
"Mission, master?"
The atmosphere in the room suddenly became less strained, more of a mood in which you just might be killed rather than one in which swift disembowelment was a certainty instead of simply a possibility.
"Yes, Sakura, I have this mission and I thought that you guys would be simply perfect for it."
"Hell yeah! You knew that I can handle anything you give me, eh Granny?"
"WILL YOU SHUT UP YOU BRAT!" Tsunade seethed, one of these days… She glared at the sheepish shinobi in front of her then took a deep breath and started again.
"You have been hired for protection detail for a girl around your age."
"Who is she, some sort of princess or heiress?"
"What, like Hinata?"
"No, apparently her friends just want to make sure she doesn't get a holiday job."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Whaaaaaaat?" They all seemed shocked by this, what kind of person wouldn't want their friend to work for the good of the village?
"They sound like good friends…" All eyes turned to Kakashi who was gazing off into space, with a dreamy look on the visible parts of his face. They all stared for a bit, then turned back to Tsunade.
"Anyway, it's a civilian school…" Ah, that explained it, civilians were strange beasts, even Sakura agreed and she was from a civilian family "…and they can't know you're shinobi."
"Whaaaaaaat?" There went Naruto again, even Sasuke's mouth was slightly open; neither of them could comprehend this. They should be proud of their skills and others should know, too!
"They don't know about shinobi, they just think you are incredibly skilled martial artists, basically, you can only use Taijutsu."
"WHAT!"
"NO!"
"But Taijutsu is my worst area!"
"I will become like Gai…"
"NOT LIKE EYEBROWS, NOT HIM!"
"Hn."
"SHUT UP!" Tsunade yelled at them. Again. She sat back to have a better look at them. Sakura was understandably upset, Taijutsu was, even after extensive training, not her best. Like Tsunade she was super strong, but that and 'punching-the-perv' practice only went so far. Sasuke was glowering, now he could no longer fully utilise the Sharingan. Naruto and Kakashi… well, they were just mourning their new similarities to a certain two green clad, bowl-cut… people. No, seriously, people, whatever others may think.
"Okay, I have what they sent about the school here, ' The school is first about pedigree and second about money, only those with excellent socially classed families and those from filthy rich families are lucky enough to spend their time at the private school.' "
Sasuke was smirking, finally, people worth his time! They wouldn't be in the level of a Uchiha, but still, it was better that the dobe. Naruto, meanwhile, was weeping inwardly, not more temes!
"They have organised something called a host club, where did I put that leaflet…' Rich people have free time thus this host club was created by the schools handsomest boys to entertain young ladies who also have way too much time on their hands. It is a recreational and elegant playground for the super rich and beautiful.' "
Sakura had hearts in her eyes, imagining her Sasuke in a uniform, which she would get to see, not that pig Ino. The others just looked slightly scared.
"So, you're all going to infiltrate the school as students, yes even you Kakashi, they are quite tall over there, and watch over this girl, Haruhi Fujioka, who is a member of this host club…"
"But I thought it was for boys?"
"She cross-dresses."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Weeirrd…"
"I know. Anyway, you are going to be watching her for the month before the holidays to make sure she doesn't organise a holiday job. Do this any way you like, but I would suggest getting close to her, probably through the host club because a lot of her friends are from there. Including the ones who hired us. You are all going to be posing as the adopted children of the Senju clan, who are pretty well-known around the world, but you can keep your last names for convenience, just make them double barrelled when it is needed. This was so you don't all have to pose as being brought up super rich."
"That's good", Naruto grinned, eyeing Sasuke, "Not all of us act like we have a stick up our arses."
"BAKA!"
Tsunade sighed. Naruto and Sasuke were now engaged in a minor bitch fight in the middle of the room with Sakura smacking Naruto across the head when she could reach and Kakashi eye-smiling by the sidelines and egging them on.
Ten minutes later, when everyone had calmed down, Sakura asked the question everyone had forgotten.
"So…what is this school called?"
"It's called…"
Tsunade looked at the paper on her desk then glanced back up at them.
"Ouran Academy."
So how was that? Review and tell us! Sorry for no mention of the twins, they were busy being the homosexual background, but they'll be here soon, only if you review!