A wanderer stopped by today. She had with her a few... ideals... that gave the young ones some hope that we could leave the sewers. Didn't hate us. Said others won't. Said she could find a town that would be good to us. Humans can be full of surprises...
We ghouls, we don't belong out in the human cities. I was a Corvega mechanic before the bombs... but I haven't touched a socket in near 80 years. My hands are destroyed. Numb. Digging through ash will do that.
Found a city, was okay with me. Zombies 'were smarter than us.' I worked in water purification. One day, a piece of glass lodged itself into my left hand. I couldn't feel it. Went to work and did my best to fix the top of a rain collection system. Just guttering and buckets but it got us by. Noticed a gash in my hand while I was up there. Didn't think nothing of it.
The kids got sick first. Hair fell out. Puked their guts out. Lady was pregnant. Her hair fell out. She panicked and two weeks later, little tyke was born. Never breathed. Dehydration was getting the kids. The few that ran calling the place cursed were called dumb, turns out they were the smartest ones there. They left while supplies were still available.
We had all seen radiation sickness but scrounging Radaway was damn near impossible. Famine took the older humans.
Fights broke out and after a few days everyone was dead or gone.
Got up one day to fetch some water and shine a light down in one of the barrels. Saw the glass. Saw some of my skin too. Fucked with my head.
Thats another thing. We survived the war. We killed to eat, killed to survive. Every one of us wants an escape. Chems don't work on us all that well so we either get some super concentrated shit, or shoot up with five hits. I liked Med-X. Killed some junkie with a pipe for his stash. Go back, relax, and use up a months worth, thirty damn needles in one sitting.
I'm not worth it. Some of these kids could make it work, but there will always be trouble. Shit that we start. We don't belong. We have no place in Civilization.