Chapter 1: Naruto Uzumaki
A/N: This is my first Naruto fanfic so criticism is welcome. I was reading a fanfic called Dear Bleach Fanfiction Authors by Sariniste and that inspired me to try this fanfiction.
The letters/drabbles are NOT written based on my personal opinion on certain topics/pairings. I'm writing based on what I think the Naruto characters would say.
Please try not to take this fanfiction too seriously. This is me harmlessly making fun of the cliches that I love reading/writing about.
Disclaimer: All Naruto related franchise belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.
xXxXxXxXxXx
Dear Naruto Fanfiction Authors,
I hear alot of talk around Konoha about your website so I decided to take a look at it. I really wish I hadn't though. Why are a majority of your stories cheesy romances instead of action? Last I heard, this was a shinobi based manga. That means a lot of fighting and shit!
I can understand you pairing me up with Sakura. I've had a HUGE crush on her since we were in the academy but *sigh* she won't give me the time of day. She only loves Sasuke and that probably won't change. I seriously doubt our children would have pink hair, or pink hair with blonde streaks. What the hell?!
As for Hinata, she has a special place in my heart as a close friend. She has been by my side whenever I was in trouble and she is a sweetheart. In romantic way, well, I don't know if it would work out due to her noble status.
Oh yeah, why the hell do you pair me up with women MUCH older than me?! Like Anko or Tsunade? Anko is a psycho snake-lady! Only a crazy person would want to date her. And Tsunade? She's over fifty years old!(Don't tell her I told you that.) I look at her as a sort-of mother figure! Yuck!
But...I noticed most popular romances involve me and...Sasuke? What the hell is that?! First of all, I'm not gay! Even if I was, I wouldn't be with Sasuke! He's my friend, despite what he's done.
Also, why are there stories of a female version of me paired up with various people. You authors are taking my Sexy Jutsu way too far! I just use it as a joke. I swear, you crazy fan-girls are sick in the head!
This is the worst of all: me and Madara! I mean, Madara? Hello, he's one of the reasons we're in the middle of a war right now! Not to mention he's dead! Do I look like a necrophiliac to you?!
No. Just no
Yours Sincerely,
Naruto Uzumaki
xXxXxXxXxXx
Crazy Yaoi Fan-Girls: But Madara's hot! Plus he hasn't really killed anyone.
Me: -_- He attacked the Kages and cut Tsunade in half.
Crazy Yaoi Fan-Girls: Oh I forgot about her...but she's still alive.
Me: How the hell do you forget that?! And what's so hot about Madara? He looks like a porcupine!
Crazy Yaoi Fan-Girls: How dare you speak ill of Madara! You shall perish!
Me: Right...Good luck with that. Stupid fan-girls
A/N: Please R&R! Suggestions and criticisms are welcome.