TOP TEN REASONS . . .
To Be Harry Potter
KoKo Belle – Hi. Welcome to Top Ten Reasons. I'm your host KoKo Belle. We have several guests on the show today. Today's topic is Top Ten Reasons to be Harry Potter. Our first guest with number ten is none other than Draco Malfoy.
Audience – Mixture of cheers and boos.
KoKo Belle – Well Draco it seems that you're not that popular with some of our audience members.
Draco – Yeah. Yeah. So?
KoKo Belle – It was just an observation. Well let's get on with the countdown.
Draco – Right. The number ten reason is . . . (Pulls out piece of paper during dramatic pause.) You get a cool trademark. (Looks at paper again.) What is this? Who is writing this stuff? I mean a lightning bolt is his trademark. I don't get a trademark.
KoKo Belle – But Draco you have the trademark Slytherin sneer.
Draco – But every Slytherin has it. I want to be unique. (Draco runs off stage and grabs a lamp. He begins to hit himself over the head trying to get a trademark scar, but just passes out.)
KoKo Belle – Well I'm sure that he'll be fine. Anyway on to reason number nine and for that I'd like to introduce Ron Weasley.
Audience – Claps.
Ron – Hi KoKo Belle. Thanks for having me.
KoKo Belle – Anytime Ron.
Ron – Okay. The number nine reason to be Harry Potter is . . . everyone knows your name.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Ron and now . . .
Ron – I wish people would know my name and recognize me on the street. All I get is 'oh you're Bill's brother', or 'Charlie's brother', or 'Percy's brother', or 'Fred and George's brother.' They never tell any of them 'oh you're Ron's brother.' I also get 'hey you're Harry Potter's friend.' I want to be recognized!
KoKo Belle – Ron calm down please.
Ron – No, I want fame. I want fortune. (Draco wakes up. Grabs the lamp and hits Ron over the head, shutting him up. He then goes back to trying to give himself a trademark scar. Again he knocks himself out.)
Audience – Cheers loudly.
KoKo Belle – Thanks. (Two wizards lift up Ron and Draco and carry them off stage.) Well I guess we should move on to number eight. To present that I give you Hermione Granger.
Audience – Claps.
Hermione – Thank you and I'm terribly sorry for the way Ron acted.
KoKo Belle – It's all right.
Hermione – it is my honor to present to you reason number eight . . . you can change the world.
KoKo Belle – Thanks Hermione for being so professional about this and not going off on a rant.
Hermione – No thank you. This is a very important reason you see and I will not cloud it with a lot of talk. I mean Harry can change the world. If he were to just mention how poorly house-elves are treated and that we should do something to free them.
KoKo Belle – (Looks at the audience.) I guess I spoke too soon.
Hermione – (Still going on about S.P.E.W. and how they should be freed.) Why aren't you people listening to this. We need to change. (The two wizards come back and carry Hermione off.)
Audience – Claps wildly and cheers.
KoKo Belle – Thank you again. Who knew that this would happen? Anyway on with the show. Our next guest is Professor Severus Snape.
Audience – Dead silence.
Snape – Hi.
KoKo Belle – Man of few words, huh?
Snape – Yes.
KoKo Belle – Okay. Reason number seven is . . .
Snape – You can get away with anything.
KoKo Belle – Thank you. I trust you won't talk to much.
Snape – No.
KoKo Belle – Thank God.
Snape – Why am I wasting my time here? Are we done? Can I leave?
KoKo Belle – Yes.
Snape – Good. Bye. (Walks off while muttering.) I don't see why Potter gets his own top ten list. No one else could get away with this. The Headmaster will hear of this. But then again he favors Harry.
KoKo Belle – Okay. Well what number are we on? Oh yeah six. Well then our next guest is Dobby the House-elf.
Audience – Cheers.
Dobby – Thank you for having Dobby on here and for giving Dobby the honor of announcing reason number six. You truly are a great person.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Dobby.
Dobby – You are almost as great as Harry Potter who has shown Dobby mercy.
KoKo Belle – Ok Dobby what's the number six reason?
Dobby – Number six reason is that Harry Potter is kind to all creatures, like Dobby.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Dobby.
Dobby – (Begins to cry.) Harry Potter saved and freed Dobby. My old masters were . . . (Dobby shudders and runs to the lamp Draco dropped. He begins to hit himself in the head.)
KoKo Belle – Dobby stop that. We already have two unconscious guests we don't need a third. (Fights with Dobby for the lamp.) Give me that!
Dobby – (Let's go of the lamp.) Sorry Dobby is still getting used to the fact that Dobby is free.
KoKo Belle – It's okay. Why don't you just go backstage and . . .
Dobby – (Begins to cry.) You treat Dobby as an equal. You truly are great. (He runs offstage.)
KoKo Belle – That was interesting. Now reason number five and Neville Longbottom.
Audience – Claps.
Neville – Thank you for having me here.
KoKo Belle – No problem.
Neville – The number five reason to be Harry Potter is . . . (Looks through pockets and under the chairs.)
KoKo Belle – Yes?
Neville – Uh I forgot what it was and I lost the piece of paper that it was on. I'm so sorry.
KoKo Belle – It's all right we'll just move on to the next guest and reason then.
Neville – I'm sorry. (Walks offstage still looking for the slip of paper.)
KoKo Belle – On to number four. Our next guest is Ginny Weasley.
Audience – Cheers and Screams.
Ginny – Hello.
KoKo Belle – Seems like the audience really likes you.
Ginny – HeHe. Well reason number four is . . . he's not afraid of anything, not even You-Know-Who.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Ginny.
Ginny – Well there was that one time with the Dementors, but that could happen to anyone.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Ginny. That's enough.
Ginny – Bye and thanks for having me. (She joins the others offstage.)
KoKo Belle – Only three reasons left. Our next guest is Hedwig, Harry's pet owl.
Audience – Claps.
Hedwig – Hoot. (Sticks his leg out to KoKo Belle. She unties the slip of paper.)
KoKo Belle – The number three reason is . . .
Hedwig – Hoot. Hoot. Hoot.
KoKo Belle – He is very loyal.
Hedwig – Hoot. (Nibbles on KoKo Belle's ear then flies off.)
KoKo Belle – The number two reason is presented by Headmaster Professor Albus Dumbledore.
Audience – Standing ovation.
KoKo Belle – Thank you so much for helping us out.
Dumbledore – Anytime. Now the number two reason is, I think Mr. Ollivander put it the best way, we can expect great things from him.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Professor.
Dumbledore – Harry is a very powerful wizard and we must have faith in him.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Professor.
Dumbledore – Voldemort is gaining power we must not let him. Stand with me and fight.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Professor!
Dumbledore – Oh right. (He gets up and apparates somewhere.)
KoKo Belle – And the number one reason will be presented by Harry Potter himself.
Audience – Whoops, hollers, claps, cheers, and standing ovation.
KoKo Belle – Welcome Harry.
Harry – Thank you. I never dreamed that all of this could happen.
KoKo Belle – Can you tell us the number one reason to be you?
Harry – Right the number one reason is . . . I'm Harry Potter.
Audience – Claps and cheers.
KoKo Belle – Thank you all for coming here today and listening to some rants. I don't own Harry Potter.
Harry – No one owns me, I own myself.
KoKo Belle – What about J.K. Rowling?
Harry – Oh yeah. I have to go visit her and give her some inspiration so that I can go into my sixth year or else I'll be in school forever. (Harry leaves.)
KoKo Belle – Well that's it. Please tell me what you think and review. Bye for now.
Audience – Leaves.
Stage – Darkens.
KoKo Belle – Now where did I leave my keys. (Draco comes wandering in.)
Draco – Where am I? What happened? Is the show over?
KoKo Belle – It's over Draco. Everyone left.
Draco – How dare they leave me alone like this. (KoKo Belle picks up another lamp and knocks Draco out.)
KoKo Belle – We gotta buy more lamps. What's this? (KoKo Belle picks up a piece of paper that were under the lamp.) The number five reason to be Harry Potter is he's really brave and has courage. (KoKo Belle laughs.) Oh and I found my keys. (She locks the studio leaving Draco lying on the floor.)
To Be Harry Potter
KoKo Belle – Hi. Welcome to Top Ten Reasons. I'm your host KoKo Belle. We have several guests on the show today. Today's topic is Top Ten Reasons to be Harry Potter. Our first guest with number ten is none other than Draco Malfoy.
Audience – Mixture of cheers and boos.
KoKo Belle – Well Draco it seems that you're not that popular with some of our audience members.
Draco – Yeah. Yeah. So?
KoKo Belle – It was just an observation. Well let's get on with the countdown.
Draco – Right. The number ten reason is . . . (Pulls out piece of paper during dramatic pause.) You get a cool trademark. (Looks at paper again.) What is this? Who is writing this stuff? I mean a lightning bolt is his trademark. I don't get a trademark.
KoKo Belle – But Draco you have the trademark Slytherin sneer.
Draco – But every Slytherin has it. I want to be unique. (Draco runs off stage and grabs a lamp. He begins to hit himself over the head trying to get a trademark scar, but just passes out.)
KoKo Belle – Well I'm sure that he'll be fine. Anyway on to reason number nine and for that I'd like to introduce Ron Weasley.
Audience – Claps.
Ron – Hi KoKo Belle. Thanks for having me.
KoKo Belle – Anytime Ron.
Ron – Okay. The number nine reason to be Harry Potter is . . . everyone knows your name.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Ron and now . . .
Ron – I wish people would know my name and recognize me on the street. All I get is 'oh you're Bill's brother', or 'Charlie's brother', or 'Percy's brother', or 'Fred and George's brother.' They never tell any of them 'oh you're Ron's brother.' I also get 'hey you're Harry Potter's friend.' I want to be recognized!
KoKo Belle – Ron calm down please.
Ron – No, I want fame. I want fortune. (Draco wakes up. Grabs the lamp and hits Ron over the head, shutting him up. He then goes back to trying to give himself a trademark scar. Again he knocks himself out.)
Audience – Cheers loudly.
KoKo Belle – Thanks. (Two wizards lift up Ron and Draco and carry them off stage.) Well I guess we should move on to number eight. To present that I give you Hermione Granger.
Audience – Claps.
Hermione – Thank you and I'm terribly sorry for the way Ron acted.
KoKo Belle – It's all right.
Hermione – it is my honor to present to you reason number eight . . . you can change the world.
KoKo Belle – Thanks Hermione for being so professional about this and not going off on a rant.
Hermione – No thank you. This is a very important reason you see and I will not cloud it with a lot of talk. I mean Harry can change the world. If he were to just mention how poorly house-elves are treated and that we should do something to free them.
KoKo Belle – (Looks at the audience.) I guess I spoke too soon.
Hermione – (Still going on about S.P.E.W. and how they should be freed.) Why aren't you people listening to this. We need to change. (The two wizards come back and carry Hermione off.)
Audience – Claps wildly and cheers.
KoKo Belle – Thank you again. Who knew that this would happen? Anyway on with the show. Our next guest is Professor Severus Snape.
Audience – Dead silence.
Snape – Hi.
KoKo Belle – Man of few words, huh?
Snape – Yes.
KoKo Belle – Okay. Reason number seven is . . .
Snape – You can get away with anything.
KoKo Belle – Thank you. I trust you won't talk to much.
Snape – No.
KoKo Belle – Thank God.
Snape – Why am I wasting my time here? Are we done? Can I leave?
KoKo Belle – Yes.
Snape – Good. Bye. (Walks off while muttering.) I don't see why Potter gets his own top ten list. No one else could get away with this. The Headmaster will hear of this. But then again he favors Harry.
KoKo Belle – Okay. Well what number are we on? Oh yeah six. Well then our next guest is Dobby the House-elf.
Audience – Cheers.
Dobby – Thank you for having Dobby on here and for giving Dobby the honor of announcing reason number six. You truly are a great person.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Dobby.
Dobby – You are almost as great as Harry Potter who has shown Dobby mercy.
KoKo Belle – Ok Dobby what's the number six reason?
Dobby – Number six reason is that Harry Potter is kind to all creatures, like Dobby.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Dobby.
Dobby – (Begins to cry.) Harry Potter saved and freed Dobby. My old masters were . . . (Dobby shudders and runs to the lamp Draco dropped. He begins to hit himself in the head.)
KoKo Belle – Dobby stop that. We already have two unconscious guests we don't need a third. (Fights with Dobby for the lamp.) Give me that!
Dobby – (Let's go of the lamp.) Sorry Dobby is still getting used to the fact that Dobby is free.
KoKo Belle – It's okay. Why don't you just go backstage and . . .
Dobby – (Begins to cry.) You treat Dobby as an equal. You truly are great. (He runs offstage.)
KoKo Belle – That was interesting. Now reason number five and Neville Longbottom.
Audience – Claps.
Neville – Thank you for having me here.
KoKo Belle – No problem.
Neville – The number five reason to be Harry Potter is . . . (Looks through pockets and under the chairs.)
KoKo Belle – Yes?
Neville – Uh I forgot what it was and I lost the piece of paper that it was on. I'm so sorry.
KoKo Belle – It's all right we'll just move on to the next guest and reason then.
Neville – I'm sorry. (Walks offstage still looking for the slip of paper.)
KoKo Belle – On to number four. Our next guest is Ginny Weasley.
Audience – Cheers and Screams.
Ginny – Hello.
KoKo Belle – Seems like the audience really likes you.
Ginny – HeHe. Well reason number four is . . . he's not afraid of anything, not even You-Know-Who.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Ginny.
Ginny – Well there was that one time with the Dementors, but that could happen to anyone.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Ginny. That's enough.
Ginny – Bye and thanks for having me. (She joins the others offstage.)
KoKo Belle – Only three reasons left. Our next guest is Hedwig, Harry's pet owl.
Audience – Claps.
Hedwig – Hoot. (Sticks his leg out to KoKo Belle. She unties the slip of paper.)
KoKo Belle – The number three reason is . . .
Hedwig – Hoot. Hoot. Hoot.
KoKo Belle – He is very loyal.
Hedwig – Hoot. (Nibbles on KoKo Belle's ear then flies off.)
KoKo Belle – The number two reason is presented by Headmaster Professor Albus Dumbledore.
Audience – Standing ovation.
KoKo Belle – Thank you so much for helping us out.
Dumbledore – Anytime. Now the number two reason is, I think Mr. Ollivander put it the best way, we can expect great things from him.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Professor.
Dumbledore – Harry is a very powerful wizard and we must have faith in him.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Professor.
Dumbledore – Voldemort is gaining power we must not let him. Stand with me and fight.
KoKo Belle – Thank you Professor!
Dumbledore – Oh right. (He gets up and apparates somewhere.)
KoKo Belle – And the number one reason will be presented by Harry Potter himself.
Audience – Whoops, hollers, claps, cheers, and standing ovation.
KoKo Belle – Welcome Harry.
Harry – Thank you. I never dreamed that all of this could happen.
KoKo Belle – Can you tell us the number one reason to be you?
Harry – Right the number one reason is . . . I'm Harry Potter.
Audience – Claps and cheers.
KoKo Belle – Thank you all for coming here today and listening to some rants. I don't own Harry Potter.
Harry – No one owns me, I own myself.
KoKo Belle – What about J.K. Rowling?
Harry – Oh yeah. I have to go visit her and give her some inspiration so that I can go into my sixth year or else I'll be in school forever. (Harry leaves.)
KoKo Belle – Well that's it. Please tell me what you think and review. Bye for now.
Audience – Leaves.
Stage – Darkens.
KoKo Belle – Now where did I leave my keys. (Draco comes wandering in.)
Draco – Where am I? What happened? Is the show over?
KoKo Belle – It's over Draco. Everyone left.
Draco – How dare they leave me alone like this. (KoKo Belle picks up another lamp and knocks Draco out.)
KoKo Belle – We gotta buy more lamps. What's this? (KoKo Belle picks up a piece of paper that were under the lamp.) The number five reason to be Harry Potter is he's really brave and has courage. (KoKo Belle laughs.) Oh and I found my keys. (She locks the studio leaving Draco lying on the floor.)