"Moments"
Niall began dating his friend Sarah for the past year. Sarah has had problems with depression, and Niall hopes to make her happy. This is the story behind One Direction's song, 'Moments'.
*I don't wish this to happen to Niall, or ANY of the boys! Just feeling upset lately*
To Niall, everything seemed fine. He'd taken Sarah out today, and she seemed happy enough. There hadn't been any new cuts on her arms, and she was laughing and joking with him. The only wierd thing was when she said goodbye, she had tears in her eyes. "Goodbye Niall," she said. "I love you." He found it scary, and tried to text her when he got home. She never responded.
He got the call from Sarah's mother at exactly 8:06 p.m.
"Niall? Niall?" her frantic voice said.
"Yeah?" he asked, dreading her response.
"It's- it's about Sarah!"
Oh no.
"Um, what about S-sarah?" Niall asked, hoping, praying...
"She's commited suicide!" Sarah's mother broke down crying then.
Niall drops the phone and rushes outside, ignoring his mother's questions. He bolts in the one direction to Sarah's house, half crying, half hoping it was just an attempt...
When he arrives, he throws open the door and runs up the stairs to Sarah's room.
"Niall, I don't think you want to see this," Sarah's dad says.
"Let me see her! Maybe she's still alive!" Niall yells, trying to move past the big man.
"She's not, I'm sorry." Sarah's dad says, his eyes tearing up.
He finally pushes past him and sees Sarah. She's laying on her bed, an empty bottle of painkillers on the floor near her dangling arm.. Her mother is at the base of the bed, clutching a piece of paper. Niall runs to Sarah's bed and falls to his knees, fresh tears springing into his eyes.
"Sarah?" he asks, shaking her shoulder softly. He's alarmed to find that she's already cold. He buries his face into her bed, sobbing. Why? Why did she do this?
"There was a note for you too." Niall hears Sarah's mother say. He lifts his head up and sees her holding a folded up piece of paper to him. He takes it from her trembling hand.
Dear Niall,
I'm so very sorry for this. There was no purpose for me anymore in this life. I want you to know you made me feel special, but not enough. I love you so much,and I hope I haven't caused you a lot of pain. I'm sorry.
Love,
Sarah
The note makes him cry even harder. He tries to hide his pain from Sarah's parents, but he can't. Soon, they leave him to grieve for her alone.
Shut the door
Turn the light off
I wanna be with you
I wanna feel your love
I wanna lay beside you
I cannot hide this
Even though I try
Niall sits next to her lifeless body, sobbing. The sadness comes in waves, drowning him.
Heart beats harder
Time escapes me
Trembling hands touch skin
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face
"She's so cold," Niall thought as he touched her hand. He still wonders why she did this. "Was I not good enough? What did I do wrong?"
If we could only have this life
For one more day
If we could only turn back time
You know I'll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
He knows it's pointless, but Niall talks to her. Telling her he always loved her, she meant everything to him, how he doesn't know if he can make it without her.
Close the door
Throw the key
Don't wanna be reminded
Don't wanna be seen
Don't wanna be without you
My judgment's clouded
Like tonight's sky
Niall takes the bottle of painkillers from the empty. He reads the label, and they're extra strength. Out of nowhere, Niall feels extremely angry. He throws the bottle across the room as hard as he can, making it thud loudly against the wall.
Hands are silent
Voice is numb
Try to scream out my lungs
It makes this harder
And the tears stream down my face
He begins to scream, to yell, to try to get his anger and sadness out. Half crying, half screaming, Niall pulls at his blond hair, causing him pain. His physical pain doesn't even compare to his emotional pain.
If we could only have this life
For one more day
If we could only turn back time
You know I'll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Niall goes back to uncontrollable sobbing, curling up to Sarah's unmoving form, rocking back and forth.
Flashing lights in my mind
Going back to the time
Playing games in the street
Kicking balls with my feet
There's a numb in my toes
Standing close to the edge
There's a pile of my clothes
At the end of your bed
As I feel myself fall
Make a joke of it all
He remembers all the good times with Sarah,and all the firsts they shared. It's like a movie going on fast forward in his head.
You know I'll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
Niall gets off her bed, and sifts through Sarah's bedside table. He finds her knife. "I can't so this anymore,I can't, I love her so much." he thinks. The pain is too much. He slashes his left arm with the knife repeatedly. He feels the burning pain searing up his arm, and cries even harder.
You know I'll be
Your life
Your voice
Your reason to be
My love
My heart
Is breathing for this
Moment
In time
I'll find the words to say
Before you leave me today
He makes twelve cuts, one for each month they were dating. The tears still fall, and he lays down next to Sarah again, watching the blood run down his arm and stain the sheet. "I love you Sarah." Niall whispers, and closes his eyes.