The snowstorm starts earlier than the weather channel predicted, and Kenny ends up having to rush to Red's house at 4 o'clock instead of 5 so that the snow isn't too high for him to walk there in his worn boots. He doesn't own many nice clothes, but he digs out the dress shirt and dark jeans he wore to prom over a year ago as well as his ratty, orange parka. It's not as warm as it used to be in its prime, but Kenny doesn't mind. His heart is pounding, and there's a warmth in the pit of his stomach that he can't ignore. Maybe it's because Red's dad invited him to stay for dinner tonight, promising a seasoned roast and scalloped potatoes. Kenny grins when he thinks about it.
He makes it to Red's house just in time to keep his fingers from freezing and falling off, and she rolls her eyes when she sees him shivering on her doorstep. It's a special occasion, Kenny has been told. Red's cousin from Germany is coming to stay with them, and Red asked Kenny to help her try to make him feel welcome in America. Kenny wasn't sure he wanted to assume the task of babysitting a foreigner, but nothing ever happens in South Park anymore, and he figures he can afford to make a new friend.
Red and Kenny were never particularly close in high school, but after graduation last year, most everyone left South Park to make something of themselves. Now only Bebe, Clyde, Red, Tweek, and Kenny remain in South Park. Kenny tells himself that he'll go to community college in two years after Karen has graduated and gotten out of South Park, but he grows less and less excited about the idea of going back to school with every mundane season that passes with him working at the same mechanic shop that he's worked at since he was 14.
"So what's his name?" Kenny asks Red as he pops the tab on one of Skeeter's beers, Red having assured him that Skeeter won't be back with her cousin for another hour or so.
"His name is Craig." Red answers, and she snorts when Kenny is puzzled by the fact that he doesn't have some weird, German name. "Yeah, yeah. His mom supposedly studied abroad in America when she was in college, and she named him after one of her professors." Red explains, flicking through the channels on the television as she and Kenny lounge on the sofa.
"What's he look like?" Kenny asks after Red chooses an old sitcom for them to watch, and he feels guilty when he pictures a stalky, blonde guy.
"Dunno. I haven't seen him since he was 7. Back then, he was kind of an eyesore. Too skinny to be healthy, crooked teeth, light hair, white skin, tall. He had these eyes that I remember always made me uncomfortable. They were so light that they looked almost silver." Red explains, and Kenny watches her frown slightly before shrugging. "I just hope he doesn't stick out like a sore thumb here."
"A tall, gangly, silver-eyed freak of a German? He'll fit right in." Kenny snickers, and Red cracks a small grin. "Was he at least a nice kid?" Red shrugs.
"He was quiet. Didn't really speak unless spoken to, didn't want to play, didn't want to eat dinner with everyone else. The whole week he was here he just watched this dumb cartoon and insulted me in German whenever I tried to change the channel." Red murmurs, rolling her eyes as she speaks. Kenny can't contain a grin as he tosses his empty beer can into the wastebasket, stretching his arms and leaning back against the couch.
"You're really good at selling your cousin, y'know." Kenny tells her sarcastically, and she just shrugs carelessly again.
It isn't long before Kenny hears Skeeter's truck pull into the driveway, and he is quick to straighten his clothes and stand to wait to greet Craig. Red is a lot less enthusiastic, muting the television and moving her socked feet off the coffee table, and it makes Kenny feel stupid for getting so excited. The door opens a moment later, and Skeeter steps in, looking mildly uncomfortable as he gives Kenny and Red an odd smile. Kenny notices that Skeeter isn't carrying any luggage, and he almost lets himself wonder if Craig wasn't at the airport.
"We're back," Skeeter calls even though Kenny and Red are barely 30 feet away from him. He opens the door wider and steps out of the way, and Kenny watches as a skinny guy with jet black hair steps into the room. The warmth in Kenny's stomach feels like a fire now, and he isn't sure if he's excited or nauseous. The guy is carrying a plain, messenger bag, and he doesn't appear to have brought anything else with him from Germany. Stupidly, Kenny wonders if this guy is even Craig considering he looks a lot less hideous than Red described.
"What the fuck happened to your hair?" Red apparently decides to break the ice by firing a question at the guy, and Craig responds with something in German as he closes the door behind him. Kenny has no clue what Craig said, but he knows it wasn't nice because Red looks like she's ready to scratch his eyes out.
"What did he say?" Kenny asks quietly when Craig seems to be preoccupied with taking his boots off by the door.
"He said, It's called hair dye. You should invest in some." Red answers, and Kenny is laughing before Red finishes her sentence, stifling himself with the back of his hand. He decides that Craig has the potential to be a cool guy, and he makes his way over to Craig when Skeeter quickly slips out of the room and into the kitchen, probably to check on the roast. Red stands by the staircase with her arms folded over her chest, looking wary and irritated.
"So, um. Hey. My name's Kenny. I live, like, a mile down the road on the other side of the railroad tracks." Kenny introduces himself, smiling and wringing his hands slightly. Craig stands up after his boots are neatly placed along the wall, and Kenny feels his blood run cold when he sees Craig's face.
He has prominent cheekbones, and the hollows of his cheeks are sunken in a way that makes his face look angular and thin. His eyes are exactly the way Red described them, framed by thick, black lashes. There's something about them, though, that Kenny recognizes, and the fire from his stomach somehow finds its way to his face when Craig looks him over silently. Craig's gaze flicks over to Red, and he walks past Kenny, saying something else to her with his deep, melodic voice that Kenny knows he has heard before. Red responds to him in German before she looks at Kenny with a guilty smile.
"He wants to know who you are and why you're talking to him." she explains, and Kenny isn't sure what to make of it. He had assumed that Craig would speak English since he was coming to live in America, but Ruby did say that his decision to come to America was sudden and abrupt.
"Oh, um. Well." Kenny scratches the back of his head awkwardly and offers another smile when Craig turns to stare at him. "Do you speak any English? At all?" Kenny asks slowly, feeling as though he's speaking to a toddler as he does so.
"I am not stupid." Craig says flatly, and Kenny is surprised to be able to understand him, though Craig has quite a thick accent. He looks irritated, and Kenny is suddenly embarrassed, Red's laughter from behind him not helping with his humiliation. Before Kenny can attempt to defend himself, Craig is thrusting his hand towards Kenny, and it's only then that Kenny realizes that Craig must be at least a couple inches over 6 feet tall.
Kenny raises a brow but takes his hand nonetheless, giving it a firm shake and watching as Craig does the same thing to Red. She doesn't seem as perturbed by it, though, shaking his hand without hesitation. Kenny waits until Craig is in the kitchen to give Red a confused look, and she smiles at him as if this is some inside joke that Kenny is not a part of.
"In Germany, it's customary to shake hands with people. Even if they're close friends or family members. Germans are just weird like that." she laughs, and Kenny shakes his head, deciding to just go along with whatever this guy does.
So he does go along with whatever Craig does. He doesn't understand why Craig gives him a rather dirty look when he begins eating, but he shrugs it off and winks at him before continuing to eat. He also doesn't understand why Craig keeps a handkerchief on his lap or why he uses a knife and fork to eat his French fries, but he just tries not to stare. It's not too hard, honestly, when he's busy stuffing himself.
Kenny expects Craig to pipe up with some lively stories about Germany at some point like foreigners always do in the movies, but he stays quiet, picking at his food and looking to be filling up on water mostly. There's something about Craig that Kenny recognizes, but it isn't just one thing; it's a bunch of little things like the way his eyes are always half lidded and the way he licks his lips subtly after every bite, and Kenny feels crazy because there's no way he knows this guy. He's never been to Germany before, and he didn't associate with Red when they were 7.
"In my country, it's rude to stare." Craig says flatly after a while of Kenny studying him, and Kenny can feel his cheeks burning.
"Don't flatter yourself, asshole. I wasn't staring at you." Kenny retorts before he can stop himself, narrowing his eyes down at his plate and stabbing a piece of roast with his fork.
"I do not need to flatter myself. Other people do it for me." Craig counters smugly, and Kenny shoots him a nasty look for it. Craig does look similar to a ball jointed doll or a runway model, but Kenny doesn't know how he gets any compliments when he's such a dick to anyone that comes within 5 feet of him.
"So," Red interrupts before Kenny can say something particularly mean to the kid, and she's holding her phone between her manicured fingers. "Clyde says Bebe is having a party next Saturday."
"So?" Kenny questions, not liking what she's hinting at.
"So you should take Craig. Clyde says Bebe won't mind." Red answers blatantly, folding her arms over her chest and giving Kenny an expectant look.
"Why can't you take him?"
"Because Tweek is taking me out," Red says, smiling faintly, and Kenny scoffs. Red and Tweek found out they were soulmates back in Junior year, and Kenny feels like she's always rubbing it in his face. Clyde and Bebe are also soulmates, and Kenny is the only one in their little group who has no clue who his soulmate is.
"Fine, whatever. You and your soulmate can have a great time, and I'll be on babysitting duty." Kenny relents, rolling his eyes and wondering if Craig even has any clue what they're talking about.
"Well when do I get to meet this boy?" Skeeter finally pipes up, wiping barbecue sauce from his lips with a paper napkin. "If he's your soulmate, I should get to meet 'im."
The conversation digresses to Red and Skeeter discussing Tweek and what kind of boy he is. Kenny doesn't chime in to tell Skeeter that Tweek was on meth all throughout high school or that he has severe schizophrenia, but he sees Red give him dirty looks every once in a while to tell him to keep his mouth shut. Kenny almost forgets that Craig is even at the table until he speaks up again.
"You are jealous." Craig tells Kenny, and Kenny scoffs as Craig takes another sip of his water.
"Everyone wants to find their soulmate. Are you trying to say you don't care about finding your soulmate?" Kenny questions incredulously, leaning back against his chair with his arms crossed over his chest.
"I need no one but myself. Whoever my soulmate was, I probably left them in Germany." Craig continues, and he sounds so satisfied by his response that Kenny has to bite his tongue to keep from snapping at him. He doesn't know how he's going to tolerate babysitting this guy all year, but Red is adamant that Kenny will eventually get to know him, and Kenny witholds a comment about how he feels like he's known Craig for forever.
Kenny ends up coming to Red's house everyday after work to watch a movie and have dinner with her and Craig, and Kenny learns a bit more about Craig. He learns that Craig's favorite foods are potato pancakes with onions and eggs and a weird, fruit paste that Kenny finds disgusting. Craig let him try it when they were all watching 21 Jump Street, and Craig snickered when Kenny began gagging. Kenny also learns that Craig has an awful sense of humor. Kenny catches him grinning slightly whenever a character makes a particularly juvenile joke, and Kenny bets he's the kind of guy who secretly laughs at the jokes on Popsicle sticks.
One night, Craig was in a particularly sour mood, and Kenny ended up slapping him. He didn't mean to do it; it all happened too fast for him to process it. One minute they were watching a movie, and the next minute Craig was angrily picking Kenny apart with sharp words that set off something in Kenny's head. He finally understood why Craig was so quiet; he was listening and waiting until he had enough information to use it against someone. Craig just went up to his room afterwards, and Red just stared at Kenny with wide eyes.
That was yesterday, and tonight is the night of Bebe's party. He dreads picking Craig up and enduring the drive to Bebe's house, and he almost thinks that they're not going to the party, but Red calls him at work to make sure he doesn't forget. He's still waiting for Red to chew him out for slapping the piss out of Craig, but she doesn't seem to plan on it any time soon.
"He got thrown out of J-Mart earlier." Red tells Kenny when Kenny is downstairs, waiting for Craig to come down so they can head out to the party. "We went there to get him some clothes. The cashier told him he looked like he fell straight from Heaven, and he told her that her face looked like someone tried to put out a forest fire with a screwdriver. She started crying, and the manager made him leave." Red continues, and Kenny grimaces.
"Ouch. Harsh."
"Yeah. He ended up waiting in the car while we bought him some stuff." Red says, and Kenny watches her apply her lipstick in front of the mirror by the front door. Tweek pulls up a moment later, and she smirks at Kenny. "Good luck. He's been in a shitty mood all day, but I'm sure you can handle him." she snorts, and Kenny glares at her as she leaves. He wonders what's taking Craig so long, and he feels guilty when he sees Craig come downstairs.
"Hey." Kenny greets, giving Craig a small wave. Craig is wearing dark jeans, a black sweater, and a beanie hat. His hair is fairly long for a guy, and even though he has his hair styled in a way that covers most of the left side of his face, Kenny can see the bruise on his cheek. "You look nice." Kenny tells him, and he doesn't know why he says it. His chest is tight, and Craig just looks incredibly tired.
"Let's go." Craig mutters simply, not bothering to look at Kenny as he walks past him and out the door. Kenny sighs at this and brushes his bangs out of his face. This is going to be a long night.
The ride to Bebe's house is longer than it would normally be, and it's because Craig looks like he's going to have a panic attack or throw up. He keeps grabbing Kenny's arm and snapping at him to slow down, and Kenny almost feels bad for purposely running over a pot hole on the road because Craig hisses and clutches at the dash. Admittedly, Kenny's truck does seem like a death trap. It's loud, the steering is loose, and the doors rattle when he drives, but he can't help but grin at how utterly terrified Craig looks.
"Dude, relax."
"Fuck you." Craig spits breathlessly, and Kenny snickers, shaking his head and pulling up on the curb in front of Bebe's house. Craig nearly trips over himself getting out of the truck, and he hugs his elbows and turns away when Kenny tries to place a comforting hand on his shoulder.
He attempts to stick by Craig's side during the party, but Bebe decides to play Mommy and assumes the position of his caretaker so Kenny mixes himself a rum and coke and goes to join the scene. When he parties, he tries to take it easy because nothing ever goes right when he gets drunk. It's a lesson he's learned time and time again, and it's pathetic considering he's seen what alcohol has done to his family.
The first time Kenny ever really got drunk was freshman year. He looked older than his age at the time, and an upperclassman invited him to a party. He hadn't planned on going, but his parents started fighting that night, and he just needed to get away from it all. He ended up getting so drunk that he let an older guy mess with him. They were in the den of a stranger's house, and no one bothered to stop it from happening.
He got lucky that night. Kyle came bursting into the basement like the ball of fire he always was, and he punched the guy square in the nose. Kenny doesn't remember how Kyle got him out of the party that night, but when he woke up at the hospital after having his stomach pumped, Kyle said that he and Stan stole Randy's car and went looking for him because they saw police cars at Kenny's house. Kenny was lucky to have friends like Stan and Kyle always looking out for him, but now it's just him here in South Park, taking care of himself and counting off the days until he doesn't have to try anymore.
There's a girl sitting on his lap now, and she vaguely resembles Annie Knitts. Kenny thinks she's cute, and when he tells her this, she blushes and giggles. Kenny pretends she's Kyle when he kisses her. It's difficult since they look nothing alike, but if he closes his eyes, he can pretend that her curls are the ones he always fantasized about tangling his hands in when Kyle would try to explain their trig homework on Kenny's ratty mattress.
You want a soulmate because you want someone to take care of you and give you something to live for. You want too much, and that is why you will never be satisfied with anything or anyone. Craig's words flood Kenny's mind, and even the perky tits of this woman can't distract him from them. He's angry suddenly, and he knows he's kissing her hard enough to bruise her lips, but she doesn't seem to care.
"Hey, McCormick." Clyde's nasal voice is a lot less pleasant to hear than the moans of whoever this woman is, but Kenny pulls away from her anyway, giving Clyde an aggravated look. "Hey, don't look at me like that. I just came to tell you that the German kid has been in the bathroom for a long time. You might want to go check on him." Clyde says with a frown, leaning against the arm of the couch.
"Sorry." Kenny tells the girl when she pouts, and he gives her a peck on the cheek before they part ways. He's never particularly interested in his fucks, but he does try to be as respectful as possible given the circumstances. It's just in his nature. "Shit, what time is it?" Kenny murmurs, rubbing his eyes as he stands. He's stiff, and he feels like he became a part of the couch at some point.
"A little after one." Clyde answers, patting Kenny on the back and ushering him in the direction of the bathroom. Kenny's only been at the party for a few hours, but his buzz has already worn off, and he's ready to go home and sleep. He just doesn't feel like having sex tonight, and the realization is alarming.
"Craig?" Kenny calls when he knocks on the bathroom door, and he's surprised to find that the door is unlocked. Craig is on his knees, buckled over the toilet with one hand clutching the toilet bowl as the other holds his stomach. It's a familiar sight for Kenny, though it's usually with his dates. He sighs and finds a rag, wetting it under the tap and dabbing it against Craig's face and forehead. He expects Craig to snap at him, but he doesn't; he just stares at his sick with half lidded eyes.
"I do not understand." Craig murmurs softly after a while, when he has stopped retching and is shivering on the toilet lid. Kenny is thankful that he didn't get vomit all over himself when he puked, but Craig still looks wrecked and confused. "Juice never makes me sick." he says, and Kenny doesn't pretend to have any idea what he's talking about.
"What?"
"Juice," Craig repeats, and the confused look he gives Kenny makes Kenny feel like he's taking care of a sick child. "That girl tries to give me beer, but I say no. So she gives me juice." he explains, and he's apparently too tired to worry about his English.
"Juice? You mean- Like, punch?" Kenny asks warily, leaning against the bathroom door and staring down into Craig's red rimmed eyes.
"What is punch?" Craig asks, and Kenny drags a hand down his face. The bathroom is silent for a few moments, but Kenny just loses it and begins laughing, not even bothering to stifle himself. "What the fuck?" Craig hisses, and he looks genuinely offended by Kenny's laughter.
"No, you- She made punch. It's like juice, but not. Bebe puts a ton of vodka in hers. Shit, dude, how much did you drink?" Kenny asks him, and Craig looks so scandalized that Kenny starts laughing again. "Look, no- Haven't you ever been drunk before? How did you not notice that you were getting drunk?"
"I had only 2 cups. I do not get drunk before." Craig mutters groggily, rubbing at his eyes with the balls of his hands. "Take me away. I hate it here. I hate America."
"I hate to break it to you, but I'm poor as shit. The farthest I could take you is Denver." Kenny answers blatantly, and Craig keeps his head in his hands.
"I do not want to go to Red. Take me where you go." Craig's accent seems to get thicker when he's drunk, but Kenny somehow manages to understand him.
"Where I go?" Kenny asks curiously, and Craig nods.
"Where you go."
"Okay."
Kenny ends up giving Craig a piggyback ride to his house because he doesn't want Craig to vomit in his truck, and Craig doesn't complain about not having to ride in Kenny's truck. Craig is a lot lighter than Kenny anticipated, and he doesn't mind having to walk through the streets with Craig hugging onto him. Kenny doesn't know why he does it, but he tells Craig of all of the adventures he and his friends used to have on these streets, pointing out their old houses along the walk. Craig grunts occasionally to let Kenny know that he's listening, and Kenny shivers when he feels Craig's cold nose nuzzle against his neck.
By the time they reach Kenny's house, Craig is able to stand on his own, and Kenny drapes his jacket around Craig's shoulders when he starts shivering. He wants to ask Craig about what he said to him the other day, but he decides against it. Drunk Craig isn't as mean as sober Craig, but he's still candid, and Kenny's too tired for an argument.
Luckily, Kenny's parents seem to have gone out, and when Kenny checks his phone, he sees a text from Karen that informs him that she's at a friend's house. He leads Craig up to his bedroom, and Craig is silent the whole way. Kenny expects Craig to make a snide comment about how shitty his house is, but Craig doesn't. He sits on Kenny's mattress and pulls the sheet over himself. Kenny silently curses his father for forgetting to pay the electric bill in the middle of January.
"I'm sorry I slapped you the other day." Kenny chooses to apologize for this while Craig is drunk and not as likely to snap at him for it.
"Don't care." Craig responds, and Kenny isn't sure what he means by that, but Craig doesn't seem upset so Kenny takes it as an apology accepted. In all honesty, he isn't that sorry, but he feels better in knowing that Craig has probably forgiven him.
"Why did you say that stuff?" Kenny asks, deciding that now is as good a time as any to confront Craig about it. They're both too tired to comes to draws over anything, and Craig looks like he's barely aware of the fact that he exists right now.
"I was angry. I wanted to hurt someone. You were there so I hurt you." Craig admits, and he doesn't seem to notice when Kenny brushes a loose strand of his dark hair behind his ear. He does, however, seem to notice when Kenny attempts to steal some of the sheet from him. Kenny watches Craig pull the sheet from around himself and drape it loosely over Kenny.
"Did hurting me make you feel better?" Kenny asks with a frown. He can't imagine feeling good for causing someone else pain, and it's probably the reason he didn't hit Craig until the other day. Lord knows Craig deserved a good smack more than just that instance.
"Yes." Craig answers flatly, and Kenny rolls his eyes because he doesn't know why he even asked. He wonders if Craig is a sadist considering he finds relief in hurting people. "I do not like liars." he continues, and Kenny scoffs. He almost tells Craig that he's being a hypocrite, but then he realizes that he hasn't caught Craig in a single lie. Craig doesn't seem to admit much, but curt answers aren't technically lies.
"You think I lied to you?" Kenny questions him, sitting up on his elbows and raising an eyebrow at Craig, who is now sitting cross-legged in a position where he's facing Kenny. This makes Craig smirk bitterly for some reason. It's faint, but Kenny notices the change from his apathetic demeanor easily, and he narrows his eyes when Craig snorts at him.
"No. To yourself."
"I'm totally honest with myself. Brutally so. What makes you think you know anything about me?" Kenny snaps, and he considers taking back what he said about being too tired to fight. Craig is igniting a fire in his veins, and he bets Craig is happy about it.
"If you think I am wrong, why do you care what I think?" And Kenny can't answer that question. He doesn't know why he feels like he needs to prove himself to this asshole, but the feeling is still there. Vaguely, he realizes that he's always cared a little too much about what other people think about him, though he would never admit it. Thankfully, Craig drops the subject. "Why do you think people like you?"
"This is a trick, isn't it?" Kenny mutters sourly, and he sighs when Craig frowns at him.
"No." For some reason, Kenny believes him.
"I think people like me because I'm hardworking and loyal. I've worked for everything I've got, and I try my best to help people when they need it. I might not be too responsible, and sometimes I'm more obnoxious than cocky, but I'd say I'm a pretty good guy." Kenny confesses, and then he pauses to snort. "Well, that, and then there are people who like me because I have a handsome face."
"Why do you think people like me?" Craig doesn't look at Kenny when he asks this, and Kenny has to bite his tongue to keep from saying, People like you? As if reading Kenny's thoughts, Craig says, "People are nice to me here. People at the party seemed excited to please me."
"Well, you don't have any redeeming qualities in your personality that I can see." Kenny answers, and he tells himself that it's best if he doesn't sugarcoat it because Craig probably values honesty. Craig doesn't look offended so Kenny continues. "They were probably nice to you because you're pretty."
"Pretty?" Craig repeats, brows furrowed slightly in what Kenny takes to be confusion.
"Yeah, pretty. You're a little too skinny to be my type, but you have a nice face. You look like a doll, and a lot of people like that, I guess, so they were nice to you." Kenny elaborates, and he doesn't know if he's being entirely honest.
"Why are you nice to me?" Kenny is taken aback by this question, mostly because he doesn't know why Craig thinks he has been nice to him. He hasn't been mean to Craig, but he certainly hasn't been nice. Though, maybe his actions say otherwise. He did just clean Craig up and carry him home, and he comes over a lot to watch movies with him. Maybe Craig is the kind of guy who values actions over words.
"I don't know," Kenny admits, and maybe that's a lie. He feels good when he's around Craig, and he doesn't know how to explain it. Even when Craig is making him angry, he feels like flowers are budding in his chest, and he's not even sure if that's a good thing. "My mom used to tell me to treat people the way you want to be treated. Maybe that's why."
"Can you do that while treating people the way they treat you?" Craig murmurs, and Kenny wonders if Craig also got high at the party because it seems like every word that slips past his lips is cryptic. Kenny doesn't answer him because he doesn't know how, and he's shocked when Craig lies down with his head on Kenny's chest.
"You tired?" Kenny asks, mothering instincts kicking into gear as he tugs the sheet over Craig, taking one of Craig's hands into his own and attempting to warm his fingers. He would always do this with Karen when she was younger, but now she's barely ever home.
"I am bad at sleeping. That is why I was mad 2 days ago." Craig says, and Kenny has to strain to understand him because he doesn't seem to be trying too hard to enunciate his syllables anymore.
"Why can't you sleep?"
"In Germany, I went to sleep with my Guinea Pig. I listened to him chatter until I fell asleep. He died in the fire. I am bad at sleeping without him."
"What fire?" Kenny wonders, and he hopes Craig didn't somehow set the little guy on fire at Red's house. Surely Red would've told him if there'd been a fire there.
"It is why I come to America. My family died in a fire, and I come here a week later." Craig explains, and Kenny feels the color drain from his face. Red hasn't mentioned anything about Craig's parents dying or about a fire to him, and he finds that his throat is dry when he goes to speak.
"That's- Fuck, I'm sorry. That's awful."
"Everyone dies. Everyone will forget because life does not end when people do. It does not matter." Craig tells Kenny quietly, and Kenny doesn't know why this makes him feel melancholic. No one ever remembers when he dies, and it has always upset him, but maybe it's selfish to wish that people would mourn his every death. "What do you think your soulmate is like?" Craig asks airily, and Kenny is taken off guard by the question. He frowns and stares up at the ceiling, listening to Craig's heavy breathing in the eerily quiet room.
"I don't think a soulmate is meant to be your opposite to 'complete you'. I think a soulmate is supposed to be different from you in a way that encourages you to be the best that you can be. So I think my soulmate will make me want to," Kenny pauses, letting out a soft breath and resting his eyes. "I think my soul mate will make me want to be better than I am right now."
"How quaint." Craig says, and Kenny opens his eyes to study Craig's face. Originally, he thought Craig's face was too flawless to look human, and perhaps this is why he thought it was impossible for Craig to be genuine. Like this, though, he sees the endearing flaws; the distinct freckle below Craig's left eye, the line through one of his eyebrows where hair doesn't grow, his crooked, bottom teeth. It was easier to demonize Craig in his mind when Craig wasn't lying on his chest, intoxicated and probably saying things he'll regret when morning comes and this dream-like bubble is pierced by sunlight and the sounds of birds screeching.
"Did you really mean what you said? That you don't want a soulmate?" Kenny asks Craig softly, and he feels a familiar ache in his chest when Craig presses his face to Kenny's neck and intertwines their legs. Kenny shivers when Craig's icy toes brush against his ankle.
"I would rather be lonely by myself than with someone lying right beside me."
"Craig," Kenny whispers hoarsely, and he doesn't even know what he wants to say. He drapes his arm around the thinner boy and allows himself to bury his face in Craig's hair. By the time he thinks of something to say, Craig is snoring softly, and he has gone limp in Kenny's arms. "G'night, asshole."
Morning comes as Kenny knew it would, and Craig is sitting at the foot of the bed with his knees hugged to his chest when Kenny opens his eyes. It takes Kenny a moment to realize what's going on initially. He was in the middle of a dream- or nightmare, rather- where he was hiding in a closet, choking on his own air and hugging a guinea pig to his chest as a man shouted in what sounded like gibberish as he threw things around. Kenny could've sworn it seemed like the man was looking for him. Kenny figures his subconscious put together some horror show out of random bits of information and scoffs, rubbing a hand down his face.
"Morning." he greets Craig in a yawn, sitting up and rolling his shoulders to pop them. He hasn't slept for so long at one time in ages, but somehow, he still doesn't feel rested.
"Fuck off." Craig hisses, and for a few moments, Kenny isn't sure he heard him correctly.
"What? What did I do?" Kenny questions, and he doesn't mean to sound so irritable, but Craig is being a dick so he doesn't bother trying to pretend he isn't annoyed by Craig's attitude. He moves forward to sit next to Craig on the foot of the bed, but Craig turns his head away from him and stands up, swaying and using Kenny's doorway for balance. Hangover, Kenny thinks, nodding to himself. It's probably why Craig is acting like such a bitch after they were finally getting along last night.
"Call Red. I want to leave." Craig demands, keeping his back to Kenny and hanging onto the doorway. Kenny rolls his eyes and fishes around in his pockets for his phone, shooting Red a text to tell her to come get her Ice Prince.
"Whatever. You want something for your hangover?" Kenny asks, standing up stretching. He looks himself over in his mirror and cringes. He hasn't showered in a few days, and it definitely shows. Though, Craig doesn't look too much better. His pants are falling off of him, and his socks are twisted in a way that makes Kenny think of Kyle and how he liked everything to be in order.
"Eat shit."
Kenny's brows draw together at that, and he watches Craig snatch his shoes from by the door and storm downstairs. He feels his cheeks growing hot, and when he goes to follow Craig downstairs, he slams his bedroom door behind him so Craig knows two can play the Pissy Bitch Game. Craig is struggling with putting his shoes on as he sits on the arm of Kenny's couch, and Kenny starts to chide him when he walks up to him, but the way Craig's hands are shaking as he tries to lace his boot makes Kenny frown.
"Fucking- Just let me help you. The sooner you have your shoes on, the sooner you can wait outside for Red instead of pissing me off." Kenny sighs, kneeling in front of Craig and lacing up his boot up for him. Craig doesn't say anything, but he also doesn't kick Kenny in the face so Kenny takes this as a sign to help him with the other one. He stops, though, when he hears Craig breathing heavily and feels Craig's foot quivering inside of his boot. "Craig?"
Kenny looks up to see Craig staring down at him with glassy, red rimmed eyes. He isn't crying, but he looks like a cross between terrified and angry. His chest heaves up and down with each shaky breath, and Kenny's brows furrow as he stares up at him. He can't tell if Craig wants to run or break his face. Probably both.
"Dude, are you okay?" Kenny asks warily, standing up and making no move to touch Craig. "Are you going to cry?" he asks after a moment, and he watches Craig dig his nails into his palms.
"Do not flatter yourself, trailer trash." Craig spits, and he looks so disgusted when he looks up at Kenny that Kenny actually recoils. Craig laces his boot with renewed vigor and stands abruptly, almost knocking Kenny to the floor when he storms past him and bumps his shoulder into Kenny's on his way out the door.
"Hey, wait a fucking minute, you piece of shit!" Kenny shouts, furious as he rushes after Craig, only to stop when he sees Craig getting into Red's car. She grins knowingly and waves before she looks at Craig and then at Kenny, her smile falling into a frown. Kenny just shakes his head and goes back inside, shutting the front door and running and hand through his greasy bangs.
Maybe a shower will make him feel better. Kyle always said that showers purge the mind and body of impurities. Kenny almost smiles when he remembers this.
It has been 2 weeks since Bebe's party and 3 weeks since Craig arrived in America, and Kenny is certain this has been the worst month of his life. He got hit by a car two days ago and just resurrected today, and the only message on his phone was from Red, and it said: Hey. He has been over at Red's every day after work to watch movies and have dinner, aside from the two days he spent in Hell, and Craig hasn't spoken a word to him. Craig doesn't come downstairs when Kenny arrives, and Kenny knows he's there because he always hears some depressing, German music coming from upstairs.
Kenny actually went upstairs to confront him about it, but when he knocked on Craig's bedroom door, Craig turned the music up to an obnoxious volume, and Kenny scowled as he stomped back downstairs. He doesn't know what Craig's problem is, but it seems to be becoming yet another thing for Kenny to stress over. The only communication he has with Craig is when Craig occasionally comes downstairs to get something to eat and flips Kenny off when he catches him staring.
"It's not just when you're here, you know. He's always up in his room now. The only time I talk to him is when he wants to know what we're having for dinner." Red assured Kenny earlier today when he came by after work, but it didn't make him feel any less frustrated about Craig ignoring his existence.
Kenny hears a crash from downstairs, and it's much too heavy to be the lamp on the coffee table. The TV, Kenny recognizes the sound of the crash and goes to close his bedroom door. The door handle is missing so there's just a hole where it should be, but having the door closed makes Kenny feel a little safer. He can hear his parents' drunken shouts from downstairs, and he goes to lie under the sheet on his bed, balling his hands into fists and pressing them to his eyes.
The screaming used to not bother him when he was a kid, but ever since he watched Stuart break Carol's neck over the stove top, he can't handle screaming. They stopped hitting each other after that- probably because Stuart was forced to take anger management classes- but the fighting still continues every once in a while.
"I can't keep doing this, Carol!" Kenny pulls his knees to his chest and covers his ears, feeling his eyes beginning to sting. He's not a crier. Crying gets him nowhere. He knows that, but he doesn't know what else to do when he feels like someone has parked their car on his chest.
"Then don't!"
Kenny doesn't know why he calls Kyle at college, but he does. It's well past 2 a.m., and Kyle is probably sleeping in his warm bed with Stan right now but Kenny doesn't know who else to call when he's this upset. Everyone either judges him for crying or gets uncomfortable, but not Kyle. Never Kyle.
"Hello?" Comes Kyle's high pitched, hoarse reply from the other end of the line, and Kenny feels a sob bubbling up in his throat.
"Kyle, I-" Kenny stops when he hears Stan ask who's calling in the background, and he's suddenly too ashamed to admit what's wrong with Stan so close.
"Kenny?" Kyle asks again, and he sounds so genuinely concerned that Kenny barely keeps himself from losing it right there.
"Kyle," Kenny whispers shakily, and Kyle seems to understand what this means because he tells Stan that he needs to talk in private.
"Kenny, what's going on? Are you ok?" Kyle asks after a few moments of silence with Kenny stifling himself with the back of his hand. Kenny can hear cars in the background, and he feels guilty for making Kyle go outside when it's this late.
"I'm scared," Kenny says weakly, and then he starts crying. He's embarrassed, and he's sobbing like a loser to his best friend who's a thousand miles away, but he wants Kyle to say something comforting; something to make the screaming stop. "I'm scared, and I don't know why I'm so scared."
"Shhh, Kenny," Kyle soothes, and Kenny manages to lessen his sobbing to sniffling. "You're strong, Kenny. You've dealt with this your entire life. You'll be okay. The sun will rise in a few hours, and you'll still be okay." Kyle reassures Kenny, and he sounds so sincere that Kenny starts to believe him. He's still choking on his breath and shaking like a meth-head, but he's calmer.
"I want you to be here with me." Kenny tells Kyle in a pleading voice, and he doesn't know what he's asking of Kyle exactly. He just wants to be held, and he wants to be held by Kyle.
"You don't need me there, Kenny. You don't need me to be okay. I promise you that." Kyle says, but Kenny knows what he's really saying. I'm not your soulmate, Kenny. I'm Stan's soulmate, and if I'm there, you'll never find your own soulmate.
"How's Stan?" Kenny asks quietly when he realizes that he hasn't texted Stan at all this week, and he focuses on the sound of Kyle's voice instead of the sound of the front door slamming.
"Stan's- Yeah, we're both good. Classes are moving along slowly, but summer is coming up, and we're going to come back to South Park to visit," A pause. "Have you met anyone new?" Kyle has never been good at being candid, and sometimes it frustrates Kenny to no end. He feels like Kyle is pitying him when he sugarcoats his words, but he knows Kyle isn't like that.
"I haven't met my soulmate yet. I just. I've been having the dreams, though. I think. Maybe." Kenny pinches his eyes closed, letting out a shaky breath when he can hear his mother's soft sobbing from downstairs. The screaming has stopped, and he's okay. He's okay just like Kyle promised.
"If you've been having the dreams, you might meet them soon. I think they get more intense the closer you are to the person. I used to get crazy vivid dreams when I'd spend the night at Stan's. I'd dream of going fishing with Randy and fighting with Shelly. Stan says he's glad I only got his better memories, but- Oh, geez. I should stop talking. Um. What kind of dreams are you having?" Kenny can't contain his smile as he listens to Kyle ramble, wiping his face and relaxing against his pillow. His muscles feel sore, and he feels a hell of a lot older than 19.
"Not good ones. I'm always hiding from someone or being shouted at. Maybe I've had some good dreams, too, but I can't remember them as vividly as the bad ones. I don't think it's fair that I get nightmares every night, and you got fishing trips with Stan's dad." Kenny snorts, but he's too tired to actually be upset about this.
"Oh, please, like anyone wants to go anywhere with Randy. My poor Stanley, he's always talking about how crestfallen Randy is about 'that sick, little, Jewish kid' being his soulmate, and Stan's eyes always get so foggy when he calls- Fuck, sorry." Kenny grins. He wonders if he'll be unable to stop talking about his soulmate once he finds them. It used to annoy him, but now there's something endearing about the way Kyle is always talking about Stan. They really are perfect for each other. "Hey, um. Do you think, like. Maybe your soulmate dreams of you dying."
Kenny cringes. Maybe the nightmares aren't so bad when he considers the fact that his soulmate might always dream of dying because of his stupid curse. Kyle only knows about his deaths because Kenny had Kyle and Stan record it once, and he showed them when he came back. They didn't remember, but they believed him, and that was good enough.
"I hope not. It should be enough to have one person die all the time. Two people shouldn't have to experience that." Kenny sighs, and he can hear a door open on the other end as well as Stan's voice. "I miss you, Ky." Kenny murmurs softly.
"I love you, Ken. Call me if you need anything, okay?"
"Don't I always?" Kenny teases, and he hears Kyle snort before the line goes dead. The house is silent now, and he knows his father left. The only thing he can hear is the sound of his breath against the sheets, and he curls onto his side. He feels empty. He always feels empty after he calls Kyle, and it's an emptiness that is both painful and comforting.
I'm going to make Craig talk to me tomorrow if I have to break his door down to get to him.