"I get impatient, with every word.
The more you ask me, the more I've heard.
This is a thirst that I've never had,
I've never bled for another man."

Lose It, Austra

"Harely, wake the fuck up!" The Joker's voice pulled her up through the depths of the ocean she was sinking to the bottom of. It was warm and quiet there. She began slowly drifting back to the bottom where she could lie on the velvety sand in peace. Suddenly her left cheek hurt. She opened her eyes to the bright sunlight of her bedroom and saw Mr. J standing over her, his face angry. For a moment she felt panic but as soon as she realized nothing incredibly important seemed to be happening she felt her limbs get heavy again and started to close her eyes. She was still alert enough to realize that when her right cheek began to hurt it was because Mr. J had slapped her. Again apparently.

"What is wrong with you? You're supposed to be going with me, you were the one who insisted she just had to go. Get up now or you are staying here." She pulled her eyes back open.

"I'm sorry, Puddin', I'm just so tired. I feel like I can barely keep my eyes open and like my brain isn't working. I don't think it's a good idea for me to go along." His look of anger turned to worry. They were definitely going to have the opportunity to make some real bastards bleed today, Harley's second favorite activity after anything to do with touching him. She was kind of worried for herself. She'd been dealing with bursts of fatigue for the last couple of days and it just seemed to be getting worse.

"Is something wrong with your shoulder? I know I'm not, uh, super proactive about healthcare but if it's still bothering you we can have Dr. Tony come back." She could tell he was trying to be nice about it but the truth was he was still pissed off at her for getting shot in the first place.

"I think my shoulder's ok, I don't know. I'm just tired. Let me sleep, please?"

She didn't bother to wait for his answer but just turned over to go back to sleep. She knew he wouldn't want her along on a job in this state. She felt him standing there staring at her for another minute and then he left the room without another word though he did slam the door behind him just to make sure she knew he wasn't happy. He hadn't been happy with her in nearly a month. Ever since she took a bullet in the shoulder that was meant for his head. Well what the hell did he expect her to do, just watch him get his head blown off?

They had been in Chicago for almost a year, most of that time was spent learning the way this city worked and who had the power here. After some jobs for profit and a few just for fun the Joker had finally chosen a target to focus his forces of chaos on. Aleksander Kowalski was the lucky mobster's name. He had his hand in all sort of criminal activity but most of his money was earned from a constant flow of Eastern European women brought into this country illegally to serve as strippers, prostitutes, porn actresses and "wives" for men who preferred to think of women as chattel to be owned and treated in any way they saw fit. Harley wasn't sure if the fact that Kowalski was the king scumbag in Chicago's organized crime garbage heap affected the Joker's desire to target him or if it was the fact that the man had absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. Mr. J had a hard time resisting the urge to torment people he perceived as humorless. That was certainly part of his interest in Batman. Not that Kowalski had anything else in common with Gotham's vigilante.

So a couple of months ago they started giving Kowalski's organization trouble. Interrupting the flow of business in any way they could. It had been a lot of fun. Then last month Spider and Mr. J had rigged one of Kowalski's strip clubs with explosives and the whole city block had gone up in flames. It was late at night and the club was full of people. That didn't matter to the Joker but apparently someone working at the club had been important to Kowalski, someone he cared about. So he'd arranged a meet with Mr. J to talk things out. They knew going into it that there was a good chance it was a trap but as usual the Joker had arranged a nice little explosion all ready to go if they needed a quick exit strategy. Plus he'd brought Harley and plenty of his own guys in case they needed to shoot their way out. The meeting was mostly just a bunch of tough talk on both sides and Harley had gotten bored. She didn't understand why they had to talk to these assholes, why not just shoot 'em in the face? She started looking around the room for anything interesting and that's when she's seen the rifle scope flash from across the street. She didn't wait to find out for sure who it was aimed at she just leapt into the air and tackled the Joker. The shooter must have pulled the trigger just as she'd spotted the gun because the bullet hit her shoulder just as she had landed on Mr. J. After that guns were pulled out all around and the Joker's gang fled to their hideout so Harley could get some medical attention.

Gunshot wounds had to be reported to the police if you went to a hospital so instead the Joker had called out Dr. Tony. He was an actual doctor but he didn't have moral issues with working for criminals so long as he was paid accordingly. He was a nice guy too, though kind of a sleezeball. Let's just say he wouldn't be doing any gynecological work for Harley anytime soon. Her naked shoulder was the most he was going to get a look at. While he was removing the bullet the Joker spent the entire time pacing around and looking ready to murder someone. When Dr. Tony was done and Harley was all bandaged up she thought Mr. J would look relieved and be nice to her, maybe even thank her for saving his life but instead he told her off. It was the angriest she'd ever seen him. Apparently he didn't appreciate having her saving him and risking herself.

She felt sort of sorry and touched that he cared so much until he'd shouted at Spider asking whose turn it had been to keep Harley under control. She saw red and picked up her bat. The Joker put a bullet in Otto's head, apparently he had been her keeper for the day. He turned to yell at her again and found himself face to face with an angry Harley Quinn. After some shouting and some dancing around each other Harley had gotten a whack or two in with her bat before he grabbed her by the hair and dragged her to their bedroom to fight away from the prying eyes of the henchmen. It was their first real fight, apparently the honeymoon was over. Maybe not completely over, their shoving and screaming had eventually turned into some incredibly hot angry sex. That was the first time she pulled her stitches out with this injury though not the last. It was however the last time the Joker touched her for a couple of weeks. After the sex he seemed to get mad at her again and she still wasn't sure he was entirely over it. Things were mostly back to normal and her shoulder was pretty well healed but just when Mr. J seemed to be warming up to her again this weird fatigue had found her. Maybe she had the flu or something, whatever it was she just wanted to sleep all the time. Thinking about all this drama had worn her out emotionally as well as physically and she finally surrendered to the warm ocean of sleep again.

When Harley woke up on her own, feeling as close to well rested as she could these days, it was dark out. She must have slept for, god, sixteen hours? Was that even possible? She pulled on a tank top and some yoga pants and went to see if Mr. J was back. When she left her bedroom the living area was full of henchmen playing video games. Their latest hideout was an old warehouse that they had partitioned off into a lot of bedrooms and some public areas. Not all the henchmen lived here but a lot of them did. Harley found herself fantasizing about someday living someplace without a dozen thugs uselessly taking up space everywhere she turned. Fortunately everyone here knew who she was and treated her with a mixture of deference and flat out fear. She could smell something cooking in the kitchen which aroused her curiosity. No one who lived here cooked. She didn't know what she expected to find in the kitchen but it certainly wasn't Spider standing over the stove with Mr. J looking over his shoulder critiquing his work.

"Don't cook it too much, Dr. Tony said rarer was better." He sounded annoyed. He always sounded annoyed lately.

"I know, Boss. Are you sure she'll eat this, I don't think I've ever seen.."

"She'll eat it even if I have to shove it down her throat. Just put it on a plate." The Joker interrupted.

"What's going on in here? Have you guys been watching Food Network or something?" Harley thought maybe announcing her presence with a joke would lighten the tense atmosphere in the kitchen. Spider and Mr. J both looked at her. Spider looked apologetic and Mr. J just looked pissed. This wasn't a good sign.

"Sit down, Harley." Mr. J ordered. "Get out of here, Spider."

Spider didn't have to be told twice but Harley walked very hesitantly over to the kitchen table. She got the impression that whatever they had been cooking she was going to be expected to eat. She didn't really trust Spider and Mr. J to cook something edible. The Joker sat the plate in front of one of chair and then sat in one next to it. She decided to sit on Mr. J's lap rather than deal with whatever was on that plate. She wrapped her arms around his neck and started kissing his face. She knew if she tried to kiss his lips he'd just ignore her. Things had been pretty tense between them the last few days.

"Harley, I'm not in the mood for this. I talked to Dr. Tony today, he thinks you might be anemic and said you need more iron in your diet. Eat that." She looked over and saw that the plate had a steak on it.

"But I don't like steak, Mr. J. Besides I feel ok now. Maybe I just had a flu or something?" She leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Eat the fucking steak, Harley."

"How about if you eat the steak and I find another source of protein? If my diet is lacking in anything lately I think it might be vitamin J." She smiled in delight as he let out a laugh at her joke. If she could make him laugh then there was still hope.

"Eat the steak and then I'm yours for the rest of the night." He finally looked at her without any anger in his face and kissed her. As soon as he pushed her lips open with his tongue Harley suddenly realized she was starved for his touch. She shifted her body to straddle his lap and kissed him back fiercely. Their tongues twisted and slid around in her mouth and she felt his hand push past the waist of her pants and slide down into her panties. She apparently wasn't the only one who was hungry. His fingers found her clit and she started sliding back and forth over them. She was gasping and panting into his mouth now as the pleasure of his touch overwhelmed her senses. He pushed her shirt up with his other hand and squeezed her breast while circling her nipple with his thumb. She pulled away from his kiss.

"Please fuck me now, Mr. J. I need you so bad." She begged. He moaned and pulled his hand out of her pants. He pushed her off his lap so she could stand and she immediately pulled off her clothes. Before she could get back on his lap he stood and lifted her onto the table. They started kissing again and she buried her hands in his tangle of long wavy curls. She was sitting naked on their kitchen table but she wasn't worried about any henchmen walking in on them. She was pretty sure Spider now included a section on how to deal with the Boss and Harley's sex life in his training for henches. She reached down and unfastened Mr. J's pants, he pushed her back and grabbed her hips. He slid them down so that her ass was just on the edge of the table and pushed his cock into her. If they went more than a couple of days without sex foreplay was generally not on the menu and that was just fine with her.

"Oh, god!" She cried out as he pulled her legs up against his chest so her ankles were on his shoulders, the change in position making for a much tighter fit. Too tight really, he was big and she felt almost painfully full. She let her legs fall open to the side a little to make things more comfortable but he apparently wasn't happy with that and moved her legs back and then leaned forward so he was going even deeper into her. It felt like he was filling every inch of her. Soon the pressure edged more and more towards pleasure and away from pain as her body stretched to accommodate him. She came with a deep keening cry of mixed pleasure and pain, her back arching and her nails digging into her palms. The Joker started thrusting faster and harder, she wasn't sure how much more of this she could take. Mr. J growled out her name and gripped her hips with his last few thrusts. She heard something fall with a crash but didn't bother wondering what, she was just pleased it wasn't the rickety table they were fucking on.

"I guess you won't have to eat the steak." The Joker pointed out with a laugh. She raised up a little and saw that the crashing sound had been the plate with the steak on it falling on the floor. She smiled up at him.

"Can we have cheeseburgers instead? It's still red meat." She gave him a pleading look.

"Spider!" Mr. J shouted. He was still standing there with his cock inside her and it didn't feel like he was getting any softer. She giggled at the sight of him ordering dinner from a goon with her ankles up on his shoulders.

"Yeah, Boss?" Spider shouted back. He wasn't being disrespectful, he was just smart about not walking into rooms that Harley and Mr. J were alone in.

"We need cheeseburgers!"

"Sure thing, Boss."

"And chocolate milkshakes" Harley called out before Spider left. "Gee, he'll be gone for at least twenty minutes, whatever will we do to amuse ourselves?"

"Still feeling low on vitamin J?" He asked while pulling his still hard cock out of her. She jumped off the table and got on her knees with a happy little squeak.