I hope you enjoy the first chapter pls read and review but I want my readers to know that this story is based on my life (not all of it but the main story line is) and it is hard to look back over it. Pls keep that in mind when criticising it... thank you

Chapter 1

The relief as the blade hit my skin was overwhelming; the pain flowing out of me with every drop of the ruby liquid. I couldn't believe I had hit such a low, it just wasn't like me to feel week. I have always been seen as such a strong, determined, fearless person that if anyone knew how week I really was... well I wouldn't like to think how disappointed they would all be.

I know what you're thinking; why would anyone inflict harm upon themselves? Surely things cannot be that bad?

Well they are, it's just that no one but I could ever understand how or why.

My name is Rose, and up until a few years ago my life was almost perfect. I had found the love of my life, I had amazing friends that stuck with me through thick and thin and my family loved me unconditionally. Yet, as I'm sure you have guessed, something went wrong; very wrong. I met someone. I know what you are thinking, that I got caught up with a douche bag bad boy who lead me down the road to self destruction right?

Wrong.

He was beyond perfect. He was sweet and charming and well mannered and loved his family dearly and always helped others... it was me who messed up my life. It was me who put me through hell. I have no one to blame but myself. And that's what makes it so hard to explain but I want to try.

I know I haven't given you much insight into what went wrong but don't worry I'm getting there. As I said it started a few years ago, my friends and I had been away on our first holiday together and it had been so relaxing and serene, just the sort of break from reality we had all needed. I got to spend time with my darling boyfriend Adrian and my best friend Lisa and her long term boyfriend Christian. Christian and I had a bit of a love hate relationship but we put up with each other for Lisa's sake. We had just arrived back to our shared apartment and I just wanted to sleep after the long plane journey but Lisa was having none of it.

She made us all unpack and tidy and clean and... I was this close to murdering her – metaphorically of course. Christian had finally gotten her distracted so me and Adrian were able to relax and snuggle up together. He made me feel safe and secure whenever he wrapped his arms around me. He was the foundations holding me together and I could never imagine my life without him.

That night no one could be bothered cooking so we decided to order takeaway, and me being the suck up that I am offered to go and collect it. Who would have thought that doing the simple task of collecting a takeaway would have such drastic effects on the rest of my life? Certainly not me.

I left the house in a hurry, eager to film my bottomless pit of a stomach. I had only rounded the first corner when a tall, looming figure stepped out in front of me; the glow of the streetlamps casting an orange outline around his frame. He said nothing, just looked at me with such intensity that it made me feel as if he was looking into my very soul. At fist I thought it was probably some person's poor attempt at trying to scare me, but something about the situation was making me feel incredibly... alive. The man reached an arm out to me, his coat falling back from his wrist to reveal a tattoo spelling what I assume was his name; Dimitri. For some reason that I still do not understand I took his hand; it was soft and warm and not at all like I was expecting. He stepped into better light and his features just lit up. He had deep brown eyes that I could just melt into and gorgeous bone structure – I was surprised he wasn't a model. I knew I really shouldn't be thinking about how incredibly gorgeous this man was but I couldn't help myself, but the guilt was beginning to wash over me even though I hadn't done anything unfaithful. Yet.

Pls pls pls review. I really want to know your opinions and I hope u have enjoyed the first chapter

Gee xxx