Ok, so my friend and I were on the phone and I held up a stuffed bunny that I named Dean and told her that Bunny!Dean says hi and this story was born. Please review!
Title: The Bunny Hop
Summary: Dean really needs to learn to stay away from evil-looking blondes in bars, especially ones that are magically gifted and love dishing out poetic justice! "I thought it was fitting. He just seemed so keen on reproducing."
Rating: K+
Disclaimer: Not mine. The show belongs to Kripke, who is an evil genius!
The Bunny Hop
Sam Winchester had known his brother to do a lot of stupid things- mainly blondes- but the girl from the bar took the cake. Her shimmering yellow hair reached halfway down her back, and there was an evil glint in her brown eyes that Sam could clearly see from across the smoky room. Alas, love is blind, and Dean was drunk, so he left with her.
It really wasn't much of a shock for Sam when he woke up the next morning to find his brother's bed empty. He figured the sadistic-looking chick from the bar probably had the elder Winchester tied to a bed somewhere. As long as Dean was happy…
Swinging his legs over the side of his lumpy bed, Sammy stretched and yawned, getting ready for another day of wonderfully fascinating research on demons and the deadly deals they made with stupid hunters who had abandonment issues. Not that Dean was stupid… all the time. Sometimes he just made little slips in judgment, like with that hooker from Palm Springs.
Sam shuddered at the memory of walking in on that mistake. Slowly, he made his way to the bathroom, wondering if Dean had remembered to grab the other room key before he'd left. Seeing as how the spare key was still sitting on the dresser, Sam guessed that he hadn't.
He'd just opened the door to the small bathroom when the thumping began. It was coming from the front door, and Sam figured it was his brother, so he ignored it and walked into the cramped bathroom. It was business as usual until he noticed the pile of something that looked alive on the floor next to the shower. He made a mental note to poke it later, when Dean was there with a gun to back him up if the thing tried to eat him.
He finished his business, kind of half-kicked at the breathing pile of sludge on the floor, and went to answer the door. He pulled it open and looked around, but was unable to find Dean. He glanced down at the sidewalk, figuring his brother was probably sprawled out there in some kind of hung-over haze. The sidewalk was empty.
"Ok," Sam muttered, closing the door and stepping back into the room, "that was kinda creepy." He walked over to the table he'd set his laptop on to do some more research. He'd barely logged onto the internet when the thumping started again, this time from inside the motel room.
Muscles tensing in anticipation of an attack, Sam turned around and gazed at the room. It seemed empty, but the thumping persisted. Finally, he looked back towards the door. What he saw was not exactly what he'd expected and he relaxed.
"Hey, there, little guy," he cooed, standing up and walking over to the tan-colored wild rabbit that was kicking at the door with its hind legs, "what are you doing in here?"
The bunny stopped its kicking and glared daggers at him, an expression that would have been far more menacing if not for the adorable twitching of its little pink nose.
"You shouldn't be in here," Sammy said softly, kneeling down by the rabbit, which, oddly enough, didn't try to run. Sam held out his hands to try and pick it up. "Let me put you back outside.
The rabbit kicked at the door again as Sam picked it up. The furry little creature struggled in his hands, trying to get out of his grip, but failed to dislodge itself. In its attempt to get free, though, Sam noticed something.
"What's this?" he asked, shifting the rabbit to one hand as he used the other to inspect something that was tangled around its small body. To his surprise, the bunny stopped struggling and let him take a look.
One of the rabbit's front legs was tangled in a long leather cord that had wrapped around its middle and was attached to a bronze amulet that looked awfully familiar. At first glance, Sam thought it might have been a cow, but upon closer inspection found that he was wrong. It was a person. He knew where he'd seen it before, too. He'd been surfing the web and stumbled across it on a website. It was on sale for $14.95.
Oh, and Dean had one just like it.
"Holy crap! Dean?" He held the rabbit up to his face so that it was inches from him and stared into its beady little black eyes. "Is that you?"
As if in response to what was probably a very stupid question as far as the bunny was concerned, the little creature leaned forward and took a bite out of the hunter's nose. Sam promptly dropped it and covered up his injury with a large hand.
He pulled his hand away and saw a few drops of blood. "Look what you did," he said to the rabbit, which was busy trying to regain it's fluffy little feet. "I'm bleeding."
The bunny shook its head, ears flapping around it's adorable little face, and put a paw up on Sam's knee. The hunter sniffled and looked down at it. "It's really you, isn't it?" The rabbit nodded. "Great."
Sam stood up and crossed the room, heading to the bathroom to clean up his bleeding nose. The rabbit followed him. "How'd this happen?" Sam asked as he stood in front of the mirror and assessed the damage that had been done to his perfect face.
He glanced down at his brother to find the rabbit staring up at him with another death-glare on his furry little face. Again, it probably would had stricken fear into Sam's heart had it not been for the little twitching nose.
"Right. Can't talk. Sorry." He turned back to the mirror and ran some cool water over a piece of toilet paper to wash the blood off his face. "It was the chick from the bar, though, wasn't it?" He looked back down in time to see a nod. "What do you think? Witch?" Another nod. "You know where she lives?" It was really weird to see a rabbit nodding. "Perfect. We'll head out and have her change you back."
Dean nodded again and hopped out of the bathroom.
"After breakfast, of course," Sam grinned as he watched his brother's fluffy white tail bob out of the room.
o0o0o0o0o
Sam couldn't help but laugh as he ate his breakfast. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Dean, whom he'd set on the table, glaring at him with his new bunny death-stare. It was highly amusing, because bunnies can't really have death-stares. They're just too cute.
Sam supposed that his choice of cereal couldn't have helped matters much, but it was all they'd had left… or so he'd told Dean. It had been pretty funny, actually, watching his brother's reaction as he had pulled out the cereal box.
"Silly rabbit," he said through a mouthful of Trix, "you should never bang witches." Dean just scowled that new little bunny-scowl of his and thumped one hind leg against the table.
"Easy, Thumper," Sammy grinned, "we'll go looking for Bambi as soon as I'm done."
Dean snorted and went back to watching him eat.
o0o0o0o0o
Sam carefully shifted his brother's weight in his hands and knocked on the door to the pristine white house that they had just arrived at. It hadn't exactly been easy finding the right house, what with Dean's inability to talk and anger at Sam driving the Impala, but they'd eventually made it to the site of his latest one-night stand.
The front door opened to reveal the evil blonde from the bar. She looked quite satisfied with herself. "Oh, hello." She looked at Dean and smiled. "Didn't expect to see you again, Dean. People don't normally come back."
Dean shot her a twitchy-nosed look that clearly meant 'gee, I wonder why?'
"What did you do to my brother?" Sam demanded, straightening up to his full height in an attempt to intimidate her.
"What I do to all womanizing male pigs. I taught him a lesson."
"Why a rabbit?"
The witch grinned, twisting a few strands of silky blonde hair around her index finger. "I thought it was fitting. He just seemed so keen on reproducing."
Sam had to bite back a smile. She had a valid point. "Look, just change him back and he'll never do it again."
"I don't believe you."
"Fine," Sam conceded, "he'll do it again, but only for the next year. Then he won't bother anyone. Ever. Again."
The witch blinked, a little confused by his cryptic tone of voice. "What are you gonna do, kill him?"
"No, I think someone else will release the hounds."
"Whatever," she replied, thoroughly confused now, "just be glad I didn't turn him into something worse. My specialty just so happens to be inanimate objects. I'm very fond of pickles." She looked down at Dean and smiled. "Consider yourself lucky."
"Well," Sam nodded, "he does have four rabbit's feet." Dean landed a kick in his ribs that knocked the wind out of him. "Wanna make it two?" he wheezed.
The witch smiled. "At least he's got someone who will take care of him," she mused, "good luck."
"Wait, what?" Sam asked, throwing a foot into her door to prevent her from closing it, "you're not gonna change him back?"
"Why would I?"
Sam glanced down at the rabbit in his hands, who was starting to show signs of panic. He could feel Dean's little heart racing, saw the way his ears drooped as he hunkered down in his younger sibling's hands. "He doesn't deserve it," Sam argued, "I mean, maybe what he does for fun is kind of twisted, but he's only human."
"Not anymore."
"You're serious?"
She nodded grimly, kicking his foot away from her doorframe. "Go back to wherever you came from and leave me alone before I decide to picklize you, ok?"
Sam's shoulder's drooped as he turned away from the house, Dean still held loosely in his hands. "Guess we're headed to PetCo," he muttered, "gotta get you something to eat."
"Wait."
He spun around, causing Dean's heart rate to rise again as he almost fell out of his brother's cupped hands. The witch was standing in the doorway, staring after them with pity in her deep brown eyes. "Yeah?"
"Don't waste your money," she advised, "it's only temporary. He'll be back to normal by tomorrow morning." She reached back into her house and pulled out a pile of clothes. "These are his."
Shocked, Sammy shifted his brother into one hand and reached out with the other to grab Dean's clothes. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it," she said, smiling slightly and closing the door as the brothers walked away.
o0o0o0o0o
"Well," Sam sighed as he sat on his lumpy bed that night with his brother by his side, "we're both lucky we're late sleepers during the summer. Seriously, that's the only way the day could've passed so quickly. I can't believe it's already dark out. It's like we hopped from breakfast to bedtime in less than a paragraph."
He glanced down at Dean, who was glaring up at him, apparently offended by his nonsensical rant. "What? I could have said we bunny-hopped from breakfast to bedtime. Would that have been better?"
Dean made a noise that sounded like a cross between a growl and a squeak, which sent Sam into a weird giggle fit.
"Hey," Sam pointed out as soon as he'd stopped laughing, "at least something good came out of today." Dean looked up at him expectantly, his little nose twitching spastically. "Yeah. I found out that I can pat the bunny." He reached down and started stroking his brother's soft fur. "Pat. Pat. Pat. Can you pat the bunny, Dean?"
Dean gave him an adorable bunny look that clearly meant 'I'm going to kill you in your sleep. I'm going to bite through your windpipe and kill you with my freakishly sharp little bunny teeth.'
"Oh, aren't you a cute little bunny?" Sammy gushed, choosing to ignore his brother's bunny death-stare. Dean hopped up and clamped his teeth down on Sam's little finger.
Sam shouted and shook him off, wincing as the rabbit tumbled from the bed to the floor. "Sorry," he muttered, reaching down and scooping his brother back up into his oversized hands, "but this isn't my fault, ok, Bunnicula? I'm not the one who bunny-humped a witch last night."
Dean blinked.
"Look, let's just get some sleep, ok? Tomorrow things will be back to normal." He stood up, still cradling the rabbit in his hands, and placed Dean on his own bed. "There."
Dean looked up at him with what was either a grateful expression or contempt and promptly began to burrow into the covers. Sam smiled and headed back to his own bed, sitting down to pull off his shoes and socks. "Dean," he moaned, looking back over at his brother, who had stuck his head out of his little rabbit hole in the covers and was watching him with a great amount of interest. "I can't believe you did that."
He stood up and looked back at his bed before reaching around to feel the back of his pants. Sure enough, they were wet and spotted with squashed rabbit dung, as was his comforter. "You are so cleaning that up tomorrow," Sam hissed as Dean disappeared back into his burrow.
o0o0o0o0o
Sam Winchester awoke to find his fully-human brother sitting at the kitchen table, munching on a bowl of Trix. "She was right," Sam marveled as he grabbed the box of cereal from the table and sat down across from his brother, "awesome."
"Yeah," Dean muttered, staring down into his bowl as he ate.
"You all right?" Sam asked.
Dean sighed and looked up, disgust apparent on his face. It didn't take long for Sam to figure out why.
"I can't believe it," Sam laughed, "your nose-"
"My bunny sense is tingling," Dean grinned wryly as his nose twitched back and forth rapidly, "think it'll wear off?"
"Who knows," Sam shrugged, "it's cute, though."
"Yeah, well, you know how much chicks dig Turret's." He held a hand up to his nose in a weak attempt to stop its constant motion.
"Maybe next time you'll think twice before hitting on an evil entity at a bar, huh?"
"You don't know me at all, do you?' Dean asked, smirking, as he turned back to his breakfast.
Sam smiled and pushed the box of cereal back toward his brother. He stood up and headed to the room's small refrigerator, which the brothers had packed with a few odds and ends that needed to stay cold. "Hey, Dean," he began as he rifled through the fridge.
"Yeah?"
"Where'd you hide the eggs?"
o0o0o0o0o0o0o
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This story is dedicated to my friend Carissa, who helped me come up with the idea despite her ADD and ooh, look, a bunny!
The end. So, any opinions?