Prologue: Bill

Hi, I'm Bill! You might remember me from my exploits with the adorable (and evil) Lil' Gideon and a certain pair of siblings, Dipper and Mabel. That was fun, but did you ever think about where I went home to after I was rudely banished from their world?

I spend a lot of time looking through windows. Each window shows me a tiny shred of reality, an infinite number of video feeds that are always live. I live in a pile of windows like a kid in a pillow fort, hiding away under a canopy of movement, light and music from across time and space. The windows reach far into the distance, everything else is darkness and silence.

I try to be sociable. It's only me on my end, but on the other side of the windows I have plenty of company. Sometimes it's easy to start a conversation, but more often I have to throw myself like a dying moth against the membrane between us to make an impression. My desperation doesn't always go unnoticed. I've gained a reputation as the cause of that tingling people feel on the back of their necks when they think they're being watched, the monster under the bed, the heavy silence in the middle of a party. It's hard not to be creepy when you're a lonely being in an inter-dimensional void and most of the multi-verse can't perceive you.

But enough about me. Recently I started meeting up with this guy from post-Mushroom War Earth. His name is Simon but he calls himself the Ice King, likes to write fan-fic. I've been listening to him read aloud for a while now, and I think it's about time for me to start bringing in my own material. Not that time has any real meaning for me, but whatever.

Chapter 1: Ice King

Bill chose a moment from Ooo's timestream where the Ice King was dozing off in his chair surrounded by penguins, holding a sleepy and contented-looking Gunther in his lap. Bill stood in his window to Ice King's room and knocked politely on the membrane separating Ooo from the void.

"Wha… who's there? I know… my bffs Finn and Jake must be over for board game night! Hold on guys, I'll go get us some little waters and snacks!"

"Quack!"

"Sorry I dropped you Gunther, you can have snacks too, if you behave."

Repositioning his crown, Ice King heaved himself up from the chair and began to walk out of the room, passing through Bill as though he were a ghost.

"Ahh! Are you one of the spirits from the basement? Have you come up here to torment me?"

"Of course not! It's Bill, remember?"

"Aren't you the bro who showed up last time I was trying to bring my fanfiction to life?"

"Yeah! How's that been working out for you?"

"Not so well."

"You know, I could help you out with that if you were willing to give me your powers…"

"No. Way. I can't meet Fiona and Cake without my powers! Besides, how am I going to keep attracting princesses if I'm not a provider? And by that I mean providing a fierce penguin army, cold drinks and snow cones."

"Have it your way. I'm just saying I've been keeping up with your work for a while now, and it deserves to be brought to life."

Ice King's eyes lit up with happiness, "You really think so?"

"I know so."

"Hmm… Some other time. I need my handsome sleep before I meet my heroes."

"Would you like a bedtime story?"

Ice King leapt into bed, squashing a few penguins in the process. "I love it when strangers tell me bedtime stories!"

"I hope you like it, your fanfiction has been an inspiration to me Ice King."

"Turn that TV off Gunthilda, I'm listening to a story from a two-dimensional stranger."

"Quack!"