Harry was walking. You are wondering now, how is he capable of walking since he is a complete idiot. Well in fairy tales everything is possible.
All of a sudden, a turd appears in front of him(in this fairy tale turds can appear randomly). He didn't manage to avoid it and stepped on it.
"Shit! What the hell was that?!", he exclaimed staring on the pavement where he stood.
"It was shit.", the pavement replied evenly.
"Wow how did you know? Are you magical?", Harry said again.
"No, I'm just pavement.", it said.
"Hah obviously!", Harry commented.
When Harry returned home, a terrible smell vandalised his nose(Dudley had farted, again).
"Oof! It stinks in here!" Harry said.
"But do not worry!", Duddley exclaimed enthusiasticaly. "Mom has attached a fresh scent spray on my butt! Just a click, and ta-da! every smell disappears!".
Harry climbed the stairs to his room. Today was his bday. He was almost 4000 years old. Like on every other bday, he received presents from his best friends: Moron and Gypsy…um…Ron and Hermi(*short for Hermione. She's nobody special.).