A/N - New try at an OC/Self insert into Naruto. Might take a while to write and all but you know, shit happens. Anyways, let me know what anyone thinks. Without further adieu, Pikachu I choose you. Or, uh, first chapter.
Some vulgar language, more so at the start, and as expected in a story about ninja's, lots of violence.
"You jel?"
"I think the word you're looking for is jealous, and I'm definitely not. She's a slut anyways."
My friend frowned as I took another drag of my cigarette.
"That's not the point though Max is it?" he continued. "I banged it, you didn't. So again, you jel?"
I shook my head. My name is Max. I'm sixteen years of age, with black hair and muddy brown eyes; and I'm currently being pestered about my sex life; or lack thereof.
"No time for that," I spoke with a smirk, "Between Halo and masturbation I have next to no time for girls!" Sometimes I disgust even myself.
It was a cold winter evening, and I'd just finished college, so I was stood at the gates with an absolute arsehole I call James. The sun was hiding behind a mass of fluffy white clouds, and the wind was biting my slightly oversized nose, leaving it as red as Rudolph's.
"You should stop smoking though." I spun around to spot he who was speaking. Cindy, an old friend. "That kills you, you know."
A grunt escaped my lips. "I'll be dead by twenty anyways. Drug overdose or a teacher for not completing coursework; whichever gets me first."
"Hopefully a teacher, I'd find it fucking hilarious if Mrs Myers just decided to chase you down and kill you." James was truly an absolute arsehole.
"Myers right?" I laughed. "Wouldn't put it past her. The surname fits."
I stubbed out the cigarette out on the floor.
I turned off my xbox with a sigh. It was nigh on nine o'clock on a Friday night, and I was sat in on Halo. No friends, no life… All that was really there for me was nicotine. I opened my pack to find just two lonely cigarettes.
"Looks like I have to go shopping!" I chimed cheerfully; although I was anything but.
I threw the cigarettes into my bag and picked a few pound up off my desk, pulling on a light jacket and stumbling as I shoved my feet into an old pair of sneakers.
'I suck at multitasking,' I thought to myself. 'I wish I was female sometimes…' I quickly withdrew that wish before stamping my feet as I ran down the stairs.
"Stop with the noise!" A gruff voice shouted.
"Sorry dad! Going shop, back soon!" With that I slammed the door, followed by an unintelligible shout coming from inside. I pulled my hood around my head and zipped my jacket. Hands in front pockets, I treaded upon the crunchy leaves on my street, turning the corner and cutting through an alleyway. It was dark. They had put streetlamps in the alleyway; an attempt to prevent crime I supposed, but all but one was broke, and even that one only flickered occasionally. It was flickering at the minute, and it always seemed to creep my out.
'Been this way a million times, stop being a pussy Max…' I steeled my resolve and began walking, hesitating when I noticed a group of three boys loitering. Tensely, slowly but surely, I kept walking.
"Oi!" A voice shouted as I walked past them. I ignored it and kept walking. "Oi!" The voice repeated. I felt a hand pull my shoulder and I was facing three youths around the same height as me.
"Where you going? The voice said again. It came from the lad who had grabbed me.
"Oh you know, wherever the wind takes me."
They smirked. "Smart bastard." One of them said. The next thing I knew, the first youth (Youth A, I referred to him as in my mind) threw a right hook, hitting me sweetly in my chin and knocking me back as Youth B and C laughed.
I saw red and stepped forward, headbutting Youth A and splattering his blood all over the tarmac floor, before punching him a couple times as he fell. I moved to the nearest target, Youth C, and tackled him to the floor, and tried hammering his face into the floor. I only got a couple hits before I was dragged off by Youth B, holding me from behind as Youth A regained his footing. I was struck repeatedly for around thirty seconds but it felt like thirty minutes.
'That'll bruise…" I muttered, spitting out blood. I struggled but I was nowhere near strong enough. I would need to be though, as I saw a glint of something sharp and metallic being pulled out of Youth A's pocket.
Within a second, I had been stabbed in the stomach and thrown to the ground. Youth A pulled my phone and money from my pocket, placing it in his own. The pain was intense – worse than anything I had endured up to then in my short life. I groaned and rolled over. A foot hit my face, my head hit the floor, and I blacked out.
A bright light stung my blurry eyes as I awoke in a bed with crisp, white sheets.
'A hospital,' I thought, 'At least I'm not dead.'
I rolled over onto my side, ignoring the dull ache of a stab wound and closed my eyes. Not long passed before I heard the door creak open, and my head shot up to face the man who had entered.
A string of confused expletives filled my thoughts as a man who could only be likened to a medic-nin from Naruto walked in.
"Hey there kid, so you're awake? Didn't expect you to be conscious so soon."
I frowned. He had a gentle voice but I had no clue what was going on. A dream perhaps? Or maybe this was what Heaven really was? One massive crazy dream.
He noticed my frown.
I decided to ask a few questions. I almost screamed in shock as I began.
"Wh-where am I? Who are you? What's going on?" As I spoke, I noticed my voice to be a few hundred million octaves higher than was usual. Looking down, I noticed my body was that of a small child, perhaps around six years old. Not the best thing to wake up to by any means.
'Where the fuck is the rest of me?'
The medic answered instantly. "You're in Konohagakure. You were found outside of the village two days ago with a stab wound, and me? I'm just a humble chuunin who works at the hospital. But I suppose you can call me Katsumi."
My brain went into overload and I promptly fainted.
I woke up a matter of minutes later, and Katsumi was still there, observing me with a small smile on his face. He had red hair and stood tall – although I suppose at the moment I'd consider all adults tall. His eyes were green and he had a kindly face. I decided to make the most out of the dream.
Katsumi spoke first. "How do you feel?"
I frowned – I was doing a lot of that recently – and rubbed the dull ache in my forehead.
"I've been better I suppose."
"What's your name?"
I opened my mouth as if I was going to speak, then closed it again. I repeated this action once more then decided to give my name. "Max. I'm Max."
Katsumi nodded. "And where do you live Max?"
I shook my head. "Nowhere. I don't know."
Concern flashed upon the red haired nin's face briefly, but was replaced with a friendly smile.
"Where are your parents?"
"Don't have any." It was true. If I was here, in Konoha, and my parents were in the real world whilst I was having an elaborate dream, I technically didn't have parents in this realm of existence.
"You live on your own? Aren't you a bit young?" I once again shook my head.
"I don't know. I think I live alone, I don't remember anything."
Katsumi – taking a leaf from my book – frowned.
"How old are you Max?" I decided to lie. He wouldn't believe I was sixteen, so I told him I was six.
He asked me if I was in the Ninja Academy; I once again said that I didn't know.
He asked me what had happened to me; I once again said that I didn't know.
He asked me what I was going to do; I once again said that I didn't know.
"The only thing I can think of Max, is that we put you in the orphanage. It's nice and there will be lots of kids to play with; you'll be taken care of."
I nodded, it was the only logical option. Before Katsumi could speak again, I asked a question that had been burning me for the past minute. As long as I was here I would make the best of this experience… Dream… Whatever.
"Do you think I could join the Ninja Academy?"
Katsumi smiled and nodded back to me. "If you'd like, I was just about to go off duty. I wouldn't mind bringing you by the Academy to register; the newest class should be starting next month. Then I can bring you by the orphanage too. How's that?" I quickly agreed. As I went to get out of bed, the nin told me the obvious – my clothes had been destroyed in whatever had happened to me so the hospital had given me some. I noticed a black jacket, a white tshirt, black pants, and socks and ninja sandals piled on a chair.
"Thanks for that." I spoke gratefully. As I got out of bed and began changing, I noticed the pain from my wounds, still extremely sore. After I had taken off the itchy white hospital gown, I asked Katsumi if he knew anything that could dull the pain. I realised as he quickly cast a painkilling jutsu on me… The pain was real. This was real.
That's the first chapter, let me know what you think! All sorts of reviews welcome and appreciated. I'm just getting started here and I hope I have the motivation to keep this one going. If you read this far, I thank you.
Till next time.