Disclaimer: I don't own KH, Code Geass, Doctor Who, an Entie, Heroes, Malcolm in the Middle, Treasure Planet, Fairy Tail, Host Club, Crystal Chronicles, Final Fantasy I – XIII, Front Mission, Invader Zim, Relient K, Switchfoot, Superchic[K], Star Wars, The Heart of Darkness, Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?, Narnia, Jarros, ABC Family, Young Justice, Phillip K. Dick, Rob Paulsen, Milo Ventimiglia, Thunder Cats, or Phineas and Ferb. Whew, glad I got that off my chest. Hopefully you won't hear from me again.
Chapter I: The Beginning of DOOM
Quick AN: Ha, you're hearing from me again, but this is important. I guess. Anyways, I can't afford any fancy pronunciation marks, so Namine will be spelled as so, the same goes for Saix. I'm sure there's some clever trick to getting on of those, but since I don't know what it is we will have to make do. And here's something interesting, when Axel, Xion, and Roxas are all at the top of the tower, replace dark and/or darkness with the word ice cream and see what happens. And yes, I did steal that from pwillard. Well, on with the story…
Saix was almost asleep when Xemnas sent for him. Upon seeing the tender pink insignia that formed an 'X' flash outside his bedroom window, he immediately ceased his futile efforts to fall asleep and rushed to the Superior's door, marked with an I. After a knock he heard a familiar, exasperated voice tell him it was alright to enter.
"I see you got the X-face call." he remarked when the Nobody walked inside. His room was mostly like the others, except for the walk-in kitchen and plasma screen, which he claimed were necessary for a cult leader to possess.
"It's not funny." he scowled as he crossed his arms.
"It wasn't my idea. Xigbar was bored and that's what happened," he rolled his eyes, "As we all know the things he does when he's bored aren't exactly for our merit."
"What did you want me for?" Saix inquired crossly, almost missing the view of the wall in his bedroom.
"This." he pointed to the TV, "I was in the middle of watching Eclipse when this – this disturbance erupted in its place. I don't even know what it is." he stared angrily at the screen that was illuminated with figures of children whose heads were too large in proportion to the rest of their body.
"It's Invader Zim." he answered, slightly annoyed.
"What?"
"It's a show Axel has been watching too much. Ya know, there's a rumor going around the castle that one of the extras, that's in every crowd, is a Larxel. A mythical creature with the hair style of Larxene and the hair color of Axel. Also, in one episode Gaz is wearing a black cloak similar to ours, near a building that looks like our tower that sits in the center of the World that Never Was." He plopped down on the couch in front of the TV and stared at a kid with a shock of black hair coming off the top of his head like a lighting bolt who was talking to a black man with white-fogged glasses.
"And why am I getting this instead of my program?"
"Because we have Comcast. I don't think it's possible to watch a show and record a show at the same time."
"So, Axel's recording this – this monstrosity?"
"Every night at twelve." He added, putting his hand in the bowl of popcorn that rested on the end table.
"Is it… any good?"
"I don't know, but don't you have to leave tonight?" he interrogated with a mouth-full of popcorn.
"At 6:00, but as you can probably guess, I have some free-time."
"You tried sleeping with all that spare time?" he asked with bitter sarcasm.
"Yes. It didn't work out too well."
"Figures." he scoffed, popping a few more pieces into his mouth.
"Might as well watch." he muttered underneath his breath as he sat down next to Saix.
"Wow, you've gotten taller. We were going to give you Vort, home of the slaughtering rat people, but instead you will be given Vlorg, home of the universe's most comfortable couch." Kevin McDonald's voice bleated through the speakers as Tallest Purple spoke.
"Invader Scooge, you seem shorter than I remembered. You're target will be Vort, home of the slaughtering rat people." A weird music played as tears filled the invader's eyes for a brief moment.
"I don't understand, why would they do that?"
"They operate that way. Irkens, I believe their race is called. Whoever is the tallest is the leader, and whoever can be taller than someone gets more benefits than them." Saix explained, chewing over some kernels from the bottom of the bowl.
"My, that's an interesting concept. A civilization like that must be amusing to observe."
"I think that was what the writers were going for."
"Hmm, as you know I'm leaving for a week and I probably will need to leave someone in charge to act as a voice of reason among these raging lunatics," he eyed Saix for the lunatics part, "I might just do this."
"Do what?"
"Just let whoever the tallest is lead."
"Why?"
"Because when I come back it will be an interesting sight – that or Lexaeus will do a great job." Just then, Xemnas's phone went off in his pocket.
"Hello." he answered. There was some incoherent mumbling rattling from the other line.
"He did what?" more inarticulate words were bounced and he responded,
"Fine. I'll be there as soon as I can." He hung up and got out of the chair, gathering his things. Which were literally Nothing. He owns Nothing.
"Wait, you never said where."
"Princess L wants me to handle our son."
"You have a son?" he questioned as if asking a toddler if the sun was really yellow.
"Yeah," he smiled mildly, "Trapping Ansem in the Realm of Darkness and taking his name was the best thing I ever did. I didn't just get his name and his housing contract, I got his wife and the rest of the nine yards."
"So, she really wants you now? What about six?"
"Well," he began, opening the door a jar once all of his Nothing was gathered in his satchel, "if I didn't leave now, Xirg would have to write our dialect for the next six hours, and she's anorexic today so her stomach couldn't handle writing us for much longer." he eyed him up and down and added with disdain, "You disgust her."
"Hey, you can't break the 4th law! You told me never to do that!"
"Yes, because it's only tasteful when Phineas and Ferb do it, they, after all, are the reason we even have Disney Channel on that infernal contraption." he gestured to the screen.
"True." Saix agreed, letting his feet take the place where Xemnas once sat, "But don't run Luke too hard, he's a good kid."
"But I'm his father." he looked at him sternly, "It's my job."
"Well, does he even know you're his father? Has he even seen you without that black, breathing hazard?"
"I'll tell him soon enough."
"Just do it soon before they get to him and–"
"That's enough." he stopped cold and closed the door behind him. He then proceeded to open the door again and scream in a high-pitched, girl's voice, "And stop reading my diary!"
After the door slammed, Saix muttered, slightly annoyed,
"Then stop leaving it in my room."
A~*~X~*~E~*~L~*~I~*~S~*~A~*~W~*~E~*~S~*~O~*~M~*~E
When Xion awoke that morning, she was sincerely surprised to find Roxas on her bedroom floor. Awake.
"What are you doing here?" she screeched, thinking the worse thoughts about her friend for a moment.
"I got kicked out of my room."
"Why?"
"Ugh," he groaned, rolling his ceruleans, "Apparently there's a new order to the castle with Xemnas gone, and Larxene said she wanted my room."
"What do you mean?"
"It's like the Irken system."
"Ahh," the interjection let Roxas know she understood, "That sucks."
"Yeah. I've noticed."
"We're the shortest, so…"
"So say hello to everyone's missions," he moaned, "We better get down to breakfast before it's all gone."
"What time is it?"
"Like, nine, I think."
"'Kay." She got out of bed and followed Roxas down the corridors to the dining hall.
"Oh, boy." Roxas uttered when he saw (for once) more than Vexen, Saix, Zexion, and Lexaeus up at "Like, nine."
He grabbed a Monster and waited in line for a blueberry muffin, while Xion waited with him, they talked.
"I don't get this," he began, "If Sora was four feet when he went to sleep and five foot six when he woke up, with a completely different face, and we're, what? – half way into Days right now? – how tall should I be? Or did I come into existence as mature Sora?"
"I'm not sure. I don't think Nomura likes the stages of puberty; he erased Sora's mems so he didn't have to go through that, and the fangirls could have a teenager to obsess over instead of nine-year-old."
"But, you do know he was fourteen in I."
"Well, he looked like a nine-year-old and–" Xigbar, who was in line in front of them, turned around and cut her off,
"Dude, what did Xemnas say in that faculty meeting last week? Don't break the 4th law. Xemnas already did it this morning, and you know what they say, fool me once, shame on me, fool me twice, shame on you."
"What? That doesn't make any sense." Roxas shot him a confused glare.
"He's right, Roxas. It ruins the magic."
"What magic? I'm getting a blueberry muffin."
"Okay, it's one thing to admit this is a video game. It's another to confess this is fanfiction."
"Oh, does that ruin the David Blaine factor even more?" he sarcastically asked.
"Chris Angel." she corrected him, "David Blaine sucks."
"Do you have any idea what Axel does to people who break that law?" Xigbar cut in, "He killed Zexion for almost mentioning that he had to die because his name didn't go with the ratings."
"What are you talking about? Zexion's over there." Xion pointed to the Cloaked Schemer who was reading Seal Breeding for Dummies as he picked up a plate and waited in another line.
"Yeah, now that you mention it, wasn't it odd that Larxene wanted my room? She's dead."
"Hmm…" Xigbar rubbed his chin, "We could be in inception…but, wait, wouldn't we wake up once we found out? Or maybe someone gave us that potent sedative?"
"Xigbar, do you happen to find yourself bored at the moment?" Xion asked politely in a peculiar manner.
"Yeah, why you ask?"
"That's why they're here."
"Ahh, now that makes sense. I was getting a little worried this was fanfiction. I hate when that happens because I wake up with the taste of yaoi in my mouth."
"Hah, that's the beauty of being a girl. KH fans aren't big on yuri, so I'm safe."
"But sometimes people pair you up with Riku. And that's SoRiku in disguise."
"Oh, shut up." She elbowed him as he proceeded to pick up the muffin, but, to his great disappointment, Xigbar snatched it from him.
"What the heck, man?"
"Dude, you come up to my waist. I think I can have your muffin."
"Hey, I'm only 15, cut me some slack! Besides, you're like 40."
"Actually, I'm 28. I choose when I grey."
"Why'd you choose to grey?"
"So Demyx can tell me and Xaldin apart."
"Are you kidding me?" Xion laughed, "He's got to be more intelligent than that."
"Sometimes he gets you two mixed up."
"Really?"
"Yeah, but he's taller so I wouldn't malign him if were you." And with that he stalked off, Roxas's blueberry muffin in hand.
"Great." Roxas scoffed.
"Well, at least you have the Monster…?" Xion offered.
"Yeah, I guess you're right." He looked over at the tables and saw that every person was at their own table, a name written on it, some people had two tables with their name on it. Roxas sat down at the nearest table, but Marluxia told him to move.
"No." he replied.
"You will move. Or I will go to the nearest animal shelter and adopt a kitten. I will give you the kitten as a present and you will fall in love with it. That kitten will be your life. It will be all you ever think about or dream about, all your hopes and desires. Then, in the cold, heart of night I will break into your room, punch you in the face, and take the kitten back."
Roxas got up.
He had to drink the Monster sitting on the floor next to Xion and Zexion who, being the shortest member of the organization after Roxas and Xion, was kicked out of all the tables as well. He had traded in his Seal Breeding for Dummies book for a Punnet square that had some scrap math scribbled on the side as he continued to write down notes.
"What are you doing?" Xion inquired.
"Trying to figure out the genetic code to Billy Ray Cyrus's son."
"What are those symbols on the side?" Roxas interrogated, pointing to where he had worked out 1385720 x 75028492.
"It's a multiplication problem."
"Mul-tip-lic-a-tion…?" he questioned, the foreign word leaving a funny taste in his mouth.
"Yeah…Wait, do you know what addition is?"
"Add-it-ion…?" it was Xion's turn to test out the new word.
"Yeah, like 4 + 5 and stuff."
"What?"
"Oh, that's right. The two of you never went to school. So, you couldn't tell me what 2 + 2 was, parse?"
"Um…3?" Roxas guessed.
"Is it 5?"
"It's 4."
"I don't understand."
He turned the sheet of paper over and drew two circles, "If I have two circles and I add two more circles," he drew another pair of circles, "Then I have four circles."
"Ohhh…"
"So, if I have four circles and I add four circles, how many circles would I have?"
"Uh…Can I use the paper?" Roxas asked, his cheeks grazing a temporary sunburn from embarrassment.
"Sure." He handed him the piece of parchment and the pencil. He drew four circles, then four more circles in a separate group. He began to count aloud.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. Eight."
"Very good. Now can you tell me what 8 + 8 equals?" He traced the circular figure with his pencil eight times in one half and eight in the other.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen. Sixteen."
"Excellent. What about you, Xion, can you tell me what sixteen plus sixteen is?" Roxas handed her the paper and pencil and she began to write.
"One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three, twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven, forty-two, twenty-eight, twenty-nine, thirty, thirty-one, thirty-two. Thirty-two."
"Good job. Now, without using the paper could you tell me what 3 + 3 is?"
"It's five!" Roxas answered jubilantly.
"Six." Xion replied nonchalantly.
"Xion's correct."
"Aww…"
"You were close, though." Zexion added.
"Hey, what's everybody doing on the floor?" Axel, with his flamboyant vocal cords, inquired, coming up to their corner.
"Marluxia kicked me and Xion out of our chairs and Zexion got kicked out by Luxord."
"On what grounds?" he asked, sliding in next to Xion and Roxas.
"Xemnas left some "all mighty" decree that the tallest person gets to be in charge, causing a stereotype against us. Therefore, I am blueberry muffin-less."
"What's that?" he pointed to the sheet with the math on it.
"I'm teaching them math." Zexion clarified.
"With circles?"
"Why don't they tell you why they need it?" he suggested with a laugh as he got up to head to the grey area.
"I learned 2 + 2!" he explained proudly.
Now this is where things went wrong. Axel, who had managed to steal Roxas's Monster while he wasn't looking, was taking a sip when he boasted about knowing the answer to the simplest addition problem in the book, so as he laughed, the drink snorted out all over the floor, just as Xaldin walked by and slipped on the liquid. Axel quickly put the Monster back in Roxas's hand and before anyone could blink he was gone. Xaldin, infuriated from the fall, went after him.
A~*~X~*~E~*~L~*~I~*~S~*~A~*~W~*~E~*~S~*~O~*~M~*~E
Roxas and Xion were on top of the Twilight Town clock tower, eating their sea salt ice cream, when Axel arrived.
"What the heck was that, man? Look at this," he raised the sleeve of his cloak to display the lance bites that decorated his whole body, "You're lucky he didn't make a Xigbar out of me."
"Sorry about that, I knew Xaldin was temperamental, but I didn't know how temperamental. Looks like he went insane. Curaga," he casted as a flood of green light pooled around him. Soon most of the cuts and gashes were gone, "So how did missions go today? Or did you learn what 2 + 3 was?"
"In fact I did. But as for the missions; horrible. I got paired up with Demyx. First, there was some girl with a blue t-shirt who kept pronouncing Demyx's name with a Z instead of a D. (I don't think that was horrible, just unusual.) Then, he left me alone with that freaky, Tim Burton-Heartless-coffin-tentaclaw-spore thing while he went and tried to flirt with that rag doll ginger."
"I got paired up with Vexen. He said some weird things…"
"What kind of weird things?"
"Plot revealing things, like–"
"Ah!" he screeched, covering his ears, "SPOILER!"
"Fine. I won't say anything."
"Good. I was getting edgy there for a second."
"Oh, and Vexen said–"
"SPOILER!"
"Vexen said–"
"SPOILER!"
"Said–"
"SPOILER!" she slapped him, then continued,
"He said that after he's done in his lab we have to clean it up."
"Really? Are you kidding me?"
"No. And quite frankly, I'm terrified of the place. It's dark and stuff."
"You scared of the dark?" Axel asked with a smirk.
"It's not the dark, it's what's lurking inside it."
"Déjà vu."
"Anyways…there's also an official pedobear sticker on all of his test tubes. And he plays Girl Next Door on full blast. I don't know how he concentrates with that racket."
"You spelled racket wrong." Axel put in.
"What do you mean?"
"I'm just say racket's spelled racquet."
"I don't follow."
"Oh, and bright and early we have to fold the laundry of the entire castle. Demyx's orders." Axel scribbled Demyx's name underneath Xaldin's and Vexen's.
"Why do you have to listen to him? What would he do if didn't do it?"
"What he'd do? What he'd do?" Roxas began, not unlike a certain Spartan general, "Not what he'd do, what THAT would do! You can say goodbye to the plot, it moves no where. There some things you just don't understand." Roxas shook his head.
"What I don't understand? What's 4 + 10?"
"Hey! Zexion said that was advanced math, no fair!" Axel rolled his eyes.
"Besides," added Xion, "You don't even no why the sunsets red. Red does not travel that farthest! Xirg got that wrong on a science review because of you."
"Well at least I don't sparkle!"
"What?"
"I'm sorry, that spoiler went too far. I'm not even sure if it was sparkles or ice. Could have been Darkness – no, wait, never mind that's what I do. Wait – what were we talking about again?"
"How Marluxia kidnapped James and he is now in our basement."
"Oh, yeah. Someone should definitely do something about that."
"Nah."
"Okay."
"Have you ever wondered how anybody in Twilight Town gets any sleep if it's always sunset?"
"Yeah, that's weird. And I feel like in the future I'm going to wake up in one of those apartments and pretend that it once nighttime and that I've lived there my whole life with no parents in sight, and no explicable reason why I'm there besides the fact a group of my three friends live in a whole in the wall with a dart board without any darts, where I should've noticed that I didn't belong there because Nomura only makes friends in threesomes, two guys, one of them older than the main protagonist, almost always being a shade of grey or the antagonist, with another girl being the love interest to the main character, while the older one either has to be single, written into yaoi, or date someone who doesn't exist. And maybe when a mysterious guy in a black cloak pick-pockets me, then maybe I'll realize because that has never happened to anyone ever."
"Roxas," Axel gasped with surprise, "That's ridiculous."
A~*~X~*~E~*~L~*~I~*~S~*~A~*~W~*~E~*~S~*~O~*~M~*~E
Roxas lightly wrapped on Xion's door. Not because he was trying to be polite, but because the door was locked. Otherwise he'd be inside shaking her awake. There was a moan and Xion yelled,
"I'm sick."
"No you're not."
"Yeah, yeah, I am, it's called – ugh, Silveritis." She claimed, seeing the closet thing to her at the moment. Read on, it makes sense.
"The inflammation of Silver?"
"Ugh – yes?"
"Xion, you better open this door before I knock it down."
"Why do you want to come in so badly? It's not like I'm hosting the Grammy Award after party in here."
The door came down pretty quickly. But not quickly enough.
"Run!" Xion shouted out her window. Once she heard the thud of the ivory door crashing to the ground, she shut the window and pulled the sallow curtain over it.
"What the–"
"Ow! I landed on a steeple!"
"Who was that?"
"No one. It was noth–"
"Oh, Jiminy Cricket, what – oh, ugh, my back, oh gosh, Bob Sagot! Ugh, ahh, oh, no, gosh, ahh, Free Willy! Oh, Kingdom Hearts have mercy, oh, ugggggggggggggggh!" Roxas and Xion just stared at each other blankly as the moaning continued, "Oh my word, ughhhhhh, ahhhhhhh, ugggghhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhhh, goodness, gracious, great balls of fire, , AHHHHHHHHH, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, in the name of Bumi – owwww! Oh, gosh, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, is that my spinal fluid? Ohhhh, ahhhhhhhh, okay, I'm going now…"
"Seriously?" Roxas tilted his head.
"I have a life outside of you."
"Great, now what was Riku doing here?"
"What? – Pfft! That wasn't Riku, I mean he couldn't have been any less Riku, nope, there was no Riku here, because that was – um, well it wasn't Riku that's for sure."
"Okay, so this not Riku guy, who can't be any less Riku, why was he in your room? Please tell me he didn't spend the night."
"Roxas! That's disgusting! What kind of a person do you think I am? Wait – have you been joining those Xion-hate-clubs?"
"No! Truth be told, I've been joining the Xehanort x Kairi's Grandma ones, but that's not important right now. I already cleaned up the lab this morning for you, but right now you need to help me fold the laundry."
"Really, you – you did that for me?"
"Oh, don't go all googily-eyed on me; you were just in there with you-know-who."
"You jealous?" she brushed past him.
"Wha – no. Because I, I like Namine."
"Why?"
"Um, she's – ugh, oh, gosh," he scratched the back of his neck, "I'm not jealous." He blushed.
"Sure." she rolled her eyes, then started down the hall. He fell over himself trying to follow suit, his thoughts slowing him down.
"Ooh, I got a reason, she's an amazing artist."
"Are you kidding me? What's her specialty, crayons on canvas? Be honest, she draws like a two-year-old."
"Okay, granted, but she's just got that something about her. Like we were made for each other. Or like I've only seen her twice, but since she's the part of Sora's love interest in his heart, I have to be with her. Like I said, made." he answered through gritted teeth.
"Haha, Nomura sure screwed up with you."
"What?"
"Nothing. Don't we have laundry to fold?"
A~*~X~*~E~*~L~*~I~*~S~*~A~*~W~*~E~*~S~*~O~*~M~*~E
They met up on the clock tower after work that day again.
"Did you hear Vexen accidentally toppled over all of the boxes of test tubes in his lab and broke his leg?"
"Really?" Axel asked, but it sounded more like an answer.
"Yeah…" Roxas continued suspiciously, "And Xaldin broke his arm…"
"How?" Xion inquired
"Well, someone told me baking cookies but I doubt that."
"I don't." Axel bluntly spoke his mind.
"Why?"
"Sometimes you get your hand stuck in and it burns." he replied monotonously.
"Okay…and now that you mention it, Demyx accidentally caught his room on fire. Any opinion you have on how, Axel?"
"Well, he is Demyx…" They both stared at him accusingly, Xion folded her arms. He looked at them in an innocently surprised kind of way,
"I didn't start the fire! It's always been burnin' since the world's been turnin', I didn't start the fire! I just let it keep burning and burning and burning."
"Who do you think you are? Collecting your jar of hearts, tearing love apart. You're gonna catch a cold from the ice inside your soul. Don't come back for me, don't come back at all."
"Explore the cave that is my chest, a torch reveals there's nothing left. Your whispers echo off the wall and you can hear my distant call, the voice of who I used to be shouting out, 'Someone, someone please. Please shine a light into the black, wade through the depths and take me back.'"
"I wake up in the morning, with a big smile on my face, and it never seems out of place."
"I feel like a teacher from Charlie Brown, all you hear is that wah, wah, wah sound, maybe I'm a Pokemon, Pikachu, 'cause that's what comes out when I'm talking to you, you're a crusader, you've made me your fight, your superhero name is Mr. Right, instead of trying to understand tell all your friends how wrong I am."
"Is this the New Year, or just another night? Is this the nightmare, or just another fright? Is this the movement, or just another desperation? Is this what you call freedom? Is this what they call pain? We push until we're shoving, we bend until we break. Is there anyone left who wasn't kissed the enemy? It'll be a day like this one when the world caves in, when the world caves in, when the world caves in."
"So, I took my two houseplants and I put them to the test. Set in both in front of speakers and let the music do the rest. I powered up my pioneers and let the music roar, but twenty minutes later someone's knocking on my door."
"Look up old friend, watch the ruin of the beast, on the top of the hill being slayed by the prodigal son, for the making of his will, being bound by his hands, being shifted and lifted and molded from sand."
"A flower for your vanity, a penny for your thoughts, about the worlds insanity and how we've gotten lost, strike up the band and play a song as we go waltzing by and fake a smile as we all say goodbye. Say a prayer for recognition, kiss the ones you love. Gather up the ammunition, sigh for all the lost. Strike up the band and play a song as we go waltzing by and fake a smile as we all say goodbye. Raise a glass for ignorance, drink a toast to fear, the beginning of the end has come that's why we all are here. Strike up the band and play a song and try hard not to cry. And fake a smile as we all say goodbye."
"You give me too many things lately, you're all I need–"
"Too far." Axel interrupted.
"What just happened?"
"I'm not sure, but I wish good luck unto Xemnas." Roxas admitted.
"Why?"
"Because Saix almost got caught by Xigbar for reading Xemnas's diary so he threw into my room and I started reading it."
"Xemnas had a diary?" Axel snickered.
"Hey! There is nothing wrong with having a diary!" Roxas protested defensively.
"Did Saix tell you that?" When he gave me mine, Roxas thought. Out loud.
"Really? You have a diary?" Xion giggled.
"No, but apparently his son is not on the dark side."
"What's wrong with not being on the ice cream side?"
"What?"
"Wait – you mean you guys didn't read the quick AN?"
"No…"
"I skimmed it."
"Never mind."
"Wait…"
"Who's talking?"
"I'm not sure."
"I see dead people."
"OMSG, what was that?"
"Crap."
"Stop stepping on my foot."
"Hey! That tickles!"
"I hate when this happens."
"Silence, traitor!"
"Was that Demyx?"
"Holy crap, it's a dragon."
"No, that's a pterodactyl."
"I thought that was Mrs. Barnes."
"I hope you know no one is going to get the reference."
"Not unless Brandon's computer starts working again."
"Hey! You said his name on the internet, this is public, you can't erase it!"
"It's not like I told them his address or go ahead and rape him, besides, a KH fan wouldn't rape a kid."
"You're wrong, that's exactly who would rape a kid. Stupid yaoi…"
"Okay, stop flaming on yaoi."
"Why not?"
"You may offend some people."
"Please, refer to me with a noun so the audience knows who is talking."
"Can't you just scream who you are?"
"I'm Roxas!"
"Shut up, Axel. I think you're the kind of person who would rape a kid."
"Ow! What was that for, I'm not the one who said that!"
"Sorry, I just get really PO'd when people call me a pedophile and stuff. I am 20!"
"So, we're 3 years apart?"
"You're 15, Roxas."
"And…?"
"And you can't subtract worth sh–Rebecca Black."
"Nice save."
"Or nice shave. …Because, ya know, you have those short eyebrows, so…"
"That wasn't even remotely funny, Shane Dawson, just like all of your other crap."
"Get that corn outta my face!"
"Brandon's address is 147 Providence Drive, go rape him!"
"I think we should end this chapter."
"Great idea, The Haitian, until next time, I'm Peter Petrelli, and Bruno Mars is an American singer. He lives on Earth."
AN:
Marluxia needs to stop watching Glee! WOW! Pop culture reference overload! Hope the ending wasn't too confusing, if you're a writer you'd probably got it. I got that last line from watching last week's SNL, with the fact correspondent, if you actually read all the words at the end, that's what it says, among other things… And as for the songs I just randomly put in there, these are the songs in order: We didn't start the fire, by whoever sings that song, Jar of Hearts, by that one person who screwed up the national anthem, I think, I Need You, by Relient K (best band ever), When Ya See My Face, by and American singer who lives on Earth, Na, Na (No, seriously, that's the name of the song) by Superchic[K] (almost second best band ever), The Blues, by REVIEW! Switchfoot (official second best band ever), The Houseplant Song by REVIEW! Audio Adrenaline and the one who sings this particular song sounds exactly like Demyx, I urge you to check it out, Ruin of the Beast, by Steven Delopoulos, Goodbye, Goodnight by REVIEW! Jars of Clay, and Simple and Clean by Utada, but I'm guessing you already knew that. And yes, it's not the ice cream, it's what's lurking inside it. Xirg, over and out.
PS: Please, do not rape Brandon. That's Emilee's job. LOL XD, I hope no one I know reads this.