Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of the characters.
Author's Note: This story is for anyone who gets tired of the rabid fangirls.
On Christmas Eve, Relena Peacecraft stood in the ballroom of her palace, ready to receive the guests to her Christmas party: all of the main characters of Gundam Wing.
The first person to arrive was Heero Yuy. Of course, Relena was thrilled to see him, because she was obsessed with him, like everyone else in the series. And of course, about ten seconds later, Duo Maxwell arrived.
"Relena, you suck! Shinigami has arrived!" Duo yelled, bursting in. For some reason, the Deathscythe pilot was carrying an actual scythe with him. Spotting the refreshment table, he hurried over to stuff his face.
"Baka," Heero muttered. He and Relena then proceeded to have a "let's bash Duo" fest. Duo didn't care and ignored them, because he's like that.
Trowa Barton and Quatre Winner arrived together shortly. However, they mysteriously disappeared after about five minutes.
Duo, noticing, looked up from eating.
"Do you suppose they're…?"
"Hn," said Heero. Relena didn't comment, as she was too busy staring at Heero.
Suddenly, the front doors burst open and in leapt Chang Wu Fei, yelling, "Injustice!"
"What's an injustice?" Duo asked, because it gave him something to talk about. However, he immediately had a feeling that he would be sorry he had.
"I just got a ticket because my Nataku is double-parked!" the enraged pilot ranted. "And the cowardly fool who issued the ticket would not accept my challenge for a duel to the death!"
"I didn't know that parking laws applied to mobile suits…" Duo blinked. "Did you, Heero?"
"Hn."
It went on this way for a while. Finally, about an hour later, all of the guests had arrived. The author had simply gotten tired of giving each character an entrance.
Meanwhile, upstairs…
Trowa and Quatre lay in bed. Quatre was crying loudly and Trowa was smoking a cigarette. Suddenly, the bedroom door burst open and Wu Fei leapt in, yelling, "Injustice!" Seeing his fellow pilots, he froze. Getting a nosebleed, the wide-eyed young man backed away slowly. Exiting quickly as he could, Wu Fei went back downstairs and tried to forget the whole incident.
Downstairs in the ballroom, Relena had finally bugged Heero into dancing with her. They waltzed about, watched avidly by Relena's little fan club.
Over in one corner, Zechs and Treize stood, posing together.
"Wow, they've been standing like that for the past 45 minutes," Duo remarked to no one in particular.
When Heero and Relena finished dancing, all of Relena's little groupies got up and clapped. Wu Fei seized the opportunity to go out in the middle of the dance floor and sit. He began to meditate, hoping to clear his mind of evil images. Of course, he was now in everyone's way, but Wu Fei is rude that way.
For some reason, something possessed Sally Po to go up on a stage that no one had previously noticed, grab the mike, and start singing an obnoxious pop song called "Just Love" while Relena ran around in safari clothes and bugged a bunch of animals. At the end, Relena's fan club cheered and clapped some more.
Dorothy then decided to be a bitch and pushed the very confused-looking Sally away from the microphone. Grabbing it, she gave an extremely snug look and flipped her hair.
"I have an announcement," she proclaimed. "I, Dorothy, am hopelessly in love with… Relena Peacecraft!" However, Relena (who was now somehow in a dress again) was too busy staring at Heero to even notice. Dorothy went off somewhere to sulk, because she had scary eyebrows.
Wu Fei had by this time given up on meditation, because everyone was being incredibly loud and distracting. He decided to go talk to Sally, who was wondering why the hell she had been singing.
Meanwhile, Quatre and Trowa had come back downstairs, only to be attacked by Dorothy's hair. Apparently, it had a mind of it's own and wanted to eat them. Everyone proceeded to get pissed at her and kicked her out, while Duo complained that he should give her a haircut with his scythe instead. But no one listened to him, because they all find him annoying.
Dr. J then came out of nowhere, wearing tie-dyed clothes, sandals, and peace sign jewelry.
"I have a confession to make, dudes…" the doctor said. "The reason I was all like, 'War is groovy!' before is because the Man had me too committed to the fuzz to admit that I'm really a dirty, smelly hippie!"
Duo elbowed Quatre, making the blond Arabian pilot wince. "Hey, didn't Dr. J die?"
Quatre shrugged, just as confused.
Heero, who apparently had overheard, said, "Hn."
And so merrily went Christmas, and all was good, except that someone probably ended up pregnant, and they were most likely male. And Noin, Catherine, Hilde, and Lady Une pouted because they didn't get to be in the story, and were not even mentioned until the second-to-last paragraph.
"Merry Christmas!" Duo wished the readers, because he couldn't stand not having the last word.
Author's Note: I hope you found this amusing! By the way, if you don't get the "Just Love" part, watch the ending theme of the subtitled version of Gundam Wing. Oh, and this is my first fanfiction, too, so be nice. Review please!