i.

chapter one - turn your tears to roses
:-:-: theme; whispers in the dark by skillet :-:-:

Life sucks. Everyone knows that, but do you know what sucks even more? Having to relive your life all over again. Only, here's the catch— it isn't really your life; it's someone else's. You've died —you've been reborn— and now you must be another person, in another timeline entirely.

Welcome to mental immortality; it's not as great as you'd think.

She doesn't remember much about her death, or even the life she had before then. She just remembers that she had one. That she had been someone, and that she knew and loved enough people for them to mourn her passing. She would be missed, and that was all she needed in order to move on. No strings attached, and nothing to slow her down.

There was one other thing she remembered. Honestly, she thought that it was pretty useless information considering that she was stuck alone in the dark, just drifting in and out of consciousness.

She remembered a series... She thought it was categorized as a manga, or an anime— possibly both. The name of the series was Vampire Knight. Though she couldn't remember reading it or watching it; she just recalled the characters, the events that took place within the story, and all the conflicts in between.

It was stupid. Out of all the things she could keep with her, a fictional story was what remained on her mind.

Of course this meant that after she was born she spent most of her early days thinking about how useless those memories were. She had a new life now, so what was the point of knowing about a series that probably didn't even exist in this world? There was no point— that was the answer to that.

Ramblings aside— long story short, she died and was reborn. This all led to where she was now: in a crib. She wasn't alone however, as she shared her crib with another infant. Like her, the other was quiet, simply staring up at the mobile that dangled above their heads. One of the child's hands acted as a pacifier, while the other one held onto her with a surprisingly tight grip.

She didn't know much about it, other than the obvious: the infant was apparently her twin. Due to her terrible sense of time however, she wasn't sure how old they both were. The baby was old enough for her to pinpoint two of its main features: they had a mop of brown hair on their head, and red-brownish eyes. The baby's overall coloring kind of reminded her of a candy apple… As for what gender her new sibling was, she had no idea.

Other than a new sibling, she was also gifted with two new parents, though sometimes the servants were more present than they were. From what she could tell, her new family was pretty well off and so they must be into some kind of business or politics. She didn't resent them for not being there, as there wasn't really much for them to miss… She and her twin were still babbling infants who only cried and slept for the most part.

Their parents were both beautiful, and looked...eerily like they were related. Her mother had long, dark brown hair that was typically always down, showcasing how curly and messy it was. Her eyes were big and the same color brown as her hair, yet, she didn't look average because of it— if anything, her beauty was even more pronounced. Her father's hair was a darker brown than her mother's, and was cut short to the nape of his neck. His eyes were a rich garnet color, that obviously shouldn't be natural so… she was quick to realize that she was inside the series from her memories.

Everything seemed to click when she noticed the odd coloring. Those eyes were familiar to her, because they belonged to the man in her memories.

With some more deductions and observations on her part, she came to the conclusion that Haruka and Juri Kuran were her parents, and the twin that lay beside her was none other than the original Kaname Kuran. She had been reborn into this fictional world as Shiori Kuran, who by all means shouldn't exist.

Ah yes, she had definitely landed herself into a shitfest.

Vampires are most active at night because they typically sleep during the day. Not because the sunlight can cause them physical damage, but because they're sensitive to it. At most, it just hurts their eyes. So with that said, vampires should be asleep when the sun is up, but unfortunately for Shiori, it wasn't that easy. Her internal clock from her past life must have carried over because Shiori could never seem to fall asleep when she was supposed to, and it was bothering the servants to no end.

Mana Deguchi, a rather new servant of the Kuran household, was the one to step forward and attempt to calm the crying twins. At first, it had only been Shiori who was crying, frustrated that she couldn't fall asleep when she willed herself to, but Kaname woke up soon after when he sensed his sister's distress. Mana was beginning to regret tasking herself with this, because it seemed no matter what she did the Kuran twins wouldn't cease their crying.

Shiori would have felt pity for the young vampire if she wasn't so lost within her own problems. Things had been much easier for her when she was first born, as her mind was too hazy and out of focus for her to comprehend everything. But now that she was aware of herself and her situation, Shiori found life to be much more bothersome. Adapting to this new life was going to be harder than she had originally anticipated.

"Shiori-sama, Kaname-sama…" Mana sighed, trying once again to sooth the children with her voice. "Hush now, it's time to rest. Your parents will be home soon and they'll be expecting you to be asleep."

"That's correct," Mana gasped at the sudden voice, turning around quickly to face it. Juri Kuran stood in the nursery's doorway, a serene smile on her face as she looked inside. "Are they causing trouble again?"

"K-Kuran-sama!" Mana quickly folded herself in a bow, her arms stuck to her sides as she kept her head down. "T-They have been no trouble at all, my lady!"

Juri laughed modestly, stepping further into the room as she told Mana to keep her head up. "Worry not, Deguchi-san. I'll take over from here."

"Of course, Kuran-sama!" Mana bowed once again. "I will excuse myself then— H-Have a good day!"

"You as well, Deguchi-san." The pureblood said with a smile, waving Mana off as she finally exited the room, leaving the crying twins in Juri's care. Her attention turned to them as she approached the crib they laid in, still crying with too much energy. "My beautiful children," She hummed, caressing their cheeks. The eldest twin, Kaname, quieted down at her touch, blinking his reddish-brown eyes up at her curiously. Shiori's cries lessened, but unfortunately did not stop.

Juri began to rock the crib, "You're tired, aren't you? Don't worry Okaa-san, will help you out." The room was soon filled with Juri's soft, melodic voice. Shiori's cries finally began to cease as her eyes began to slowly close. Kaname was close behind her, falling asleep just as his small hand grasped onto hers. Juri smiled at the sight. Their love for each other would surely be strong, just like their parents'…

Juri couldn't wait to see it blossom.

Months passed and it seemed like Shiori had finally gotten used to her new life. It was probably easier to do without her past memories to slow her down, otherwise, she'd probably compare a lot of things to the way they were before she had died.

Shiori spent most of her time with her twin brother, but that was a given considering he was all she really had most of the time. The servants only bothered them when they needed to, and their parents could only interact with them when they weren't busy. So Kaname was Shiori's source of entertainment and kept her from going insane due to sheer boredom.

Today was one of those rare days where they were able to spend time with their parents. Well, one of them at least. Juri was off visiting some noble vampires of the Ichijō household, so it was Haruka who would receive all of the twins attention today… or that was what Shiori initially thought.

"Kaname, Shiori." Haruka entered the nursery with a strained smile on his face, causing Shiori to scrutinize his every action. Her father had never once showed an ungenuine smile to them, so seeing him with one was definitely a first. Kaname, of course, didn't notice their father's odd behavior, but he did smell the other vampire that was behind him. Shiori could smell the stranger as well, her curiosity peaking when she recognized it to be similar to her father and mother's. "Would you like to meet your uncle?"

At that, Haruka stepped further into the room, allowing the vampire behind him to enter as well. Shiori's breath caught in her throat, her quiet gurgles immediately ceasing at the sight of the infamous pureblood vampire. His appearance resembled Haruka and Kaname's greatly, though his hair was certainly curlier. If anything, Shiori looked more like him than anyone else within their family. They both had curly, dark brown hair, and though she didn't have the same heterochromatic eyes, his garnet colored one matched with hers perfectly.

Rido Kuran seemed to notice their similarities as well, as a smug smile was quick to take over his face when his eyes landed on her. Haruka stood tense beside him as if he was unsure of what Rido would do next. The two brother's relationship was definitely rocky, but Rido had insisted on wanting to meet his niece and nephew…

"She has your eyes and hair color, otōto," Rido spoke as he knelt next to the twins. Kaname was leaning against his sister as he gnawed idly on a toy; Shiori was the only one who seemed to be paying attention to their uncle, but honestly she couldn't think of anything else to do. She was much too scared to tear her gaze away from the man, aware of what he was capable of. Rido took her attention in stride, gently stroking her cheek. "Ah, I can already tell that she'll grow up to be a very beautiful woman…just like her mother."

Haruka didn't miss the way Rido seemed to completely disregard Kaname, or the way his gaze bored into Shiori. It looked almost possessive, but Haruka wouldn't dare confront Rido without concrete proof of his intentions. He wasn't looking for another fight with his brother, and would prefer to keep the peace if he could. Meanwhile, Shiori was desperately trying not to burst into tears.

Shiori needed to keep herself calm and play the role she had made for herself as the innocent child. So instead of scooting away from Rido's touch, the young girl leaned into it. A deep chuckle was released from the man at her reaction, and his pleased look grew. "I think she likes me already," He stated, looking at Haruka from over his shoulder.

Her father mutely nodded, forcing a smile, "It seems so."

"Oh, otōto—" Rido stood, scooping Shiori into his arms as he did so. Kaname slipped onto the floor at the loss of his support, whining a bit before Haruka came to his aid. "—don't tell me you're jealous."

"Hardly," Haruka managed a snort, lifting Kaname into his arms when the boy latched onto him. Rido continued to dote on Shiori, holding her to his chest and rocking her slightly. Though it was great that Rido showed no malice towards her, Haruka kept his eyes on them. Shiori was inwardly grateful for that, unsure about her uncle and his unpredictable tendencies.

Eventually, Haruka and Rido moved to the parlor, sitting on one of the many couches as they chatted. Kaname remained in Haruka's grasp, idly toying with the man's dark brown hair— and Rido kept Shiori in his hold, having made no move whatsoever to interact with Kaname. Though Rido would look at the boy every now and then, as if sizing him up… Whenever Shiori caught him doing this, her body would stiffen before drawing his attention back to her by tugging at his clothes. It worked every time, much to her relief.

By the time Rido had to leave, Shiori was asleep in his arms, tempting the man to stay longer. He had work to do however, and it wasn't like he couldn't visit his adorable niece again. So with a sigh, Rido stood as the conversation between him and Haruka faded. "I'll be off then. It's a shame really, it would have been nice to stay longer... "

Smiling politely, Haruka stood, Kaname stirring in his grasp from where he had been dozing off. "I understand that you have things to do. It was nice to have you over, though. We rarely hear from you as it is." The brunette shifted Kaname in his arms before holding an arm out towards Rido, waiting for him to hand Shiori over.

"I'll be sure to visit again," He took this time to nuzzle Shiori's cheek, enjoying the feel of her soft skin and her delectable scent. Giving her a peck, Rido finally slipped his niece into Haruka's offered arm. If he had taken a second longer with Shiori, Rido was sure that his brother would have snatched the girl from his grasp. The fact that he was putting Haruka on edge made Rido smirk, "Goodbye for now, otōto."

All the tension left Haruka's body the moment he could no longer sense Rido's presence. He held his children close to his chest protectively, glaring at the spot his brother had been moments before. Rido was...the same as always. It was wishful thinking to hope that he had changed at least a little, putting their past and the rivalry they (still) had behind him. Though it did look as if Rido was getting past his grudge for not being able to win over Juri, but it was in a way more unnerving…

His sight had shifted from Juri to Shiori.

That was how it appeared anyway. For all he knew, Rido could just be trying to rile him up and get under his skin. It was definitely working; making Haruka grow paranoid the longer his thoughts lingered on the theory.

Rido's true intentions were unclear, but it didn't matter. No matter what, Haruka would not let him harm his children. He would die before he allowed that to happen.

Rido returned several weeks later, looking even more devious than he did previously. The air around him practically screamed "up to no good" in Shiori's eyes. She felt overly anxious around him, despite the fact that both of her parents were present whenever he interacted with her and Kaname. Maybe she wouldn't be acting so alarmed if Rido's attention had remained on her like the first time he visited, but this time, his sights seemed to be on Kaname and it was scaring her. Was it time? Was Rido going to sacrifice her baby brother in order to awaken their ancient ancestor? Shiori didn't want that, but she was too small and weak to do anything. She couldn't even form words properly or stand up on her legs yet.

All Shiori could do was wait for the inevitable.

The moment arrived sooner than Shiori expected, and it made a heavy weight fall over her. Everything seemed to fall into place like dominoes clashing in an orderly line, collapsing in the desired order that they had been built. She watched with somber eyes as Haruka and Juri were called away by a servant, leaving her and Kaname alone with their uncle. Not completely, as a maid quietly observed them from where she stood in the corner, waiting to be called upon if she was needed.

Rido paid her no mind though, towering over his niece and nephew with a malicious grin on his face. Kaname is already crying, sensing the sinister intent directed his way. Shiori is crying too, both because of her brother's distress and because of her knowledge of what's to come.

The maid was quick to approach them, and as she got closer, Shiori recognized her as the common vampire named Mana. The young girl was already beside them, ready to voice her questions and concerns. "What's gotten into them all of a sudd—"

Kaname and Shiori's cries turned into high-pitched shrieks when blood splattered across their vision. Mana's body collapsed to the floor in front of them, and before she dissipated into a pile of dust, Shiori's eyes zeroed in on the gaping hole where the girl's heart should have been.

Rido was laughing at the turn of events, shaking the dust from his hand that came from Mana's heart. He stepped forward and onto the pile of the maid's remains, clicking his tongue at the twin's distress. "Now, now…" He purred, bringing a hand up to cup Shiori's cheek. She froze in his hold, much to his amusement. "No need to cry, she meant nothing to you anyway." Rido sighed contently then as he observed her features— tapping Shiori's nose before he pulled away. "You will definitely become a beautiful bride someday."

Pulling back, Rido lifted Kaname up into his arms and prepared to leave, giving Shiori one last look. "Now then, I have things to take care of but don't worry, pet. I will be back for you."

Shiori wanted to do nothing more than scream, but all she could manage was a strangled cry before darkness clouded her vision and knocked her into unconsciousness.

When Shiori Kuran next woke up, it was to the feeling of a warm body cuddling into her as they slept. At first, she allowed herself to believe that it was her brother, but the scent of the infant told her everything. Gone was the smell of hot chocolate and pine; replaced with liquorice and cinnamon.

She knew that the boy beside her was not her brother, and so she would silently mourn Kaname's passing along with her parents— who she knew were just as devastated as she was. Shiori would continue to act as if nothing had changed, because she knew that this was something she shouldn't be aware of.

So Shiori snuggled into the body of her "sibling", basking in the warmth he provided before she drifted back to sleep.

author's note: so before you continue reading, let me make it clear that i'm super confused with the timeline in vk so there may be things that happen when they shouldn't. feel free to kindly correct me; some changes to the series are on purpose though so be wary if you're gonna get upset about it.

special thanks to my wonderful beta, fortheloveofb, for helping out with this story, too!

story rec: creative imperfection by azureshadowmoon