Disclaimer: "Disney loves Phil of the Future. It loves it not. It loves Phil of the Future. It loves it not." We don't need to desecrate a flower to know whether or not we love Phil of the future; we do! We just don't own it. (WAAAAH!)
Flowers and Chocolates
by Crafty Notepad
It's Valentine's Day.
Knock, knock.
"Who's there?" Inquired a voice on the other side of the Diffys' front door.
Danny Dawkins was caught unprepared for such a classic question after wrapping on the Diffys' door. How would he describe himself, Pim Diffy's junior partner, friend, or intended main squeeze? Fortunately for the eighth-grader, Mr. Diffy was busy outback and Barbara had answered the door; otherwise, Danny would have been interrogated through the brass mail slot.
Mrs. Diffy opened her door warmly, and with a gesture she imitated from one of the mid-morning game shows she had recently become addicted to, she bid him inside. Danny was relieved. He had managed to cross the threshold into the Diffy domicile, an act he had tried before without success.
"Are those for me?" Barbara winked at him. He was obviously nervous.
"Uhh," faltered Danny. As before his hands were filled with the traditional gifts of flowers and candy. He thought for a moment and recalled the 1st time he had brought him these same gifts. Rather than see the stems crushed once again by the unappreciative Pim, Danny lifted the roses in Mrs. Diffy's direction and told her," Mrs. Diffy, these are for you."
This time it was Mrs. Diffy's turn to be taken aback. Barbara was stunned. She couldn't remember the last time a young man gave her flowers - or her husband either, for that matter! This will certainly knew how to get on a mother's good side.
Mrs. Diffy blushed and told Tammy that she needed to get these beautiful flowers and some watered right away, and made her way to the kitchen. Danny followed. He was a little bit chicken, not that he hadn't been brave thus far, but he really hadn't believe that he would've been this successful - actually making his way through the front door on his first attempt yet. He needed to regroup, get the lay of the land, so to speak - and what better way than to pump Mrs. D for vital information?
Satisfied, Barbara turned off the water at the sink, and place her flowers on the counter where she could enjoy them. A cookie jar? Young Mr. Dawkins had never seen one used as a vase before. A couple of his fingers made her way to his caller and stretched it to offer him a little more air.
Danny noticed Mrs. Diffy spying the chocolates, Pim's chocolates. She was going to ask; she was going to ask. What could he say? If you gave her the chocolates too, there would be nothing left for Pim, and he'd be in the doghouse. If he didn't give her the chocolates, he might just lose all the brownie points he had stumbled onto thus far. What to do, what to do? Pim's mother's mouth was starting to move. Her lips, they parted. Then he had ever been in a situation like this. On the one hand, him would kill him; on the other, he had never felt the overwhelming need to please someone else's parent before.
Before Mrs. Diffy could utter a sound, nervous Danny slipped in a quick offer," Would you like to try one?"
Unexpectedly, another hand reached into the box first, scooping up more than a fair share of nougats.
"Ooh, chocolates!" exclaimed Lloyd Diffy. "Go ahead, Barb, try one."
Danny caught the embarrassment Barb's face displayed an instant before she hid it. He watched her carefully select a swirled oblong candy that hinted at holding an almond buried inside. Lloyd meanwhile was occupied talking through a mouth already engorged with chocolates; everyone could hear him but no one could understand what he was trying to say.
Maybe it is the smell of a newly opened box of confections, or perhaps Lloyd's voice just carries in the house; whatever, in walks Pim. Greedy, calculating, and unforgiving Pim. Immediately, she acknowledges that she has three targets: a father who should know better, a mother likewise, and a … how should she designate Danny? " Dead meat," certainly, but which cut? He does what she tells him to do, but employees, even underlings, don't bring their bosses flowers and candy on Valentine's Day. Who does that? Pim avoided the answer. It was easier to yell. After all, she was in charge.
Pim whispered," Danny brought you flowers, Mom?"
Barbara choked on her chocolate.
"And you chocolates, Daddykins?" Pim continued in an ever sweetening tone. Danny had seen her like this before, and the nicer Pim behaves, the worse things would be for the other guy, and he was next. Time for new underwear.
Another fellow wearing boxers, probably with hearts (difficult to tell, he was also wearing pants), marched into the kitchen, "Bye, Mom. Bye, Dad. I'm taking Keely out to dinner at - Danny? Oh, hi. What are you do -?"
Pim had to think fast because she just could stand being one upped to her perfect brother and his 21st Century pet right now, particularly with Danny watching. Never show weakness. Pim knew what she had to do; she had no choice. Time to bite the big one.
"He's my Valentine, obviously. 'Chocolates.' 'Flowers.' I feel sorry for Blondie being stuck with you if you weren't familiar with the essentials of Valentine's Day date, Blockhead. Come on, Danny. I'm hungry," Pim stared at her candy-eatin' parents, "let's go now."
Pim's father mumbled something like, "Haf funn, kids," and while Phil was very tempted to quip, "Did you tell them to have 'funny kids'?", he didn't. So Dear Readers, that's how Valentine's Day was saved in Pickford this year, and how 3 couples lived to enjoy the day; all due to a bouquet of flowers and a box of chocolates managing to get past the Diffy's front door the right way this year.
Happy Valentine's Day!