Tonks descended the steps into the basement, just behind Remus. He was walking firmly, but there was an air of hesitation and dread around them that made her want to wish this all away.
At the bottom of the stairs, the 'security restraints' appeared. Heavy chains were embedded into the wall and hooked here and there to form a web that would bind Remus in here till his sanity returned.
He stepped toward them and picked up one of the leg irons. Tonks knelt at his feet and took the other one where it lay on the floor and began to clasp it around his ankle.
"You don't have to-" He began after a moment of silence.
"It's fine." She said quietly, hiding a sigh. She secured the shackle and rose, taking up one of the irons for his hands. She secured first one, then the other. The chains stretched from the irons on his hands behind him into the wall, allowing him little movement, though not fastening him completely to the wall. His wolf self would begin to strain against them soon, to try to pull away. She could see marks of blood on the chains and on the irons, no doubt splashed there as the result of his ravings. When she fastened the cuffs at his wrist, he winced as they dug into the flesh of his skin. She lingered on his hands a moment longer, head down, eyes on his scarred and raw wrists. Would that she could make any of this any small bit less painful for him.
Yet he did not complain, let her take her time and figure out the chains. He had insisted upon coming down early, as he always did, to minimize danger. What danger, she wondered. Remus would never be irresponsible enough to lose track of time and morph in the presence of others. If he had to destroy himself, he would keep his wolf self from threatening the Order. Tonks folded back the sleeves of his shirt, her skin gently brushing his, and tried not to think about how hard this was for him.
There was only one chain left to put in place, and Tonks stepped over the others trailing from the wall to grasp it. Remus turned to watch her over his shoulder as she picked it up and came toward him. She knew it wrapped around his body. She ducked under his arm, leading the thick links around his chest, then stepped under the other arm as he raised it. Another turn and he had two heavy chains wrapped around his body to restrain him. She drew the chain back to the wall and hooked it on the ring there. She was finished.
"Thank you, Tonks." Remus said over his shoulder, not moving lest the chains clank and echo in the gloomy cellar.
Tonks stepped around the chains again to stand in front of him, facing him, checking the restraints. Not because she felt she needed to, because she didn't want to leave him here, alone, for a day, to suffer in agony. She ran her eyes over the shackles, the irons, making sure they were all right, taking the last moments with him. Then she stepped forward. The chain around his chest was tight, and the two layers of links were rubbing against each other. She slid her fingers around them, adjusting them so they would cause less discomfort on him, though she knew that even as they were they would rub his skin raw.
She stood thus for a moment, her hands curled around the chains, on his chest, breathing in the scent and the sense of him. He was standing, waiting. She didn't look up at him, but down at her hands, until slowly she raised her head.
"I suppose that's as well as I can get it." She said, uncharacteristically hushed.
He was looking down at her, his gray eyes and her brown ones, their faces not far apart as they stood in silence.
Then he leaned forward a little. For a moment, she wasn't sure, and then she realized only an instant before, he is going to kiss me. He did, softly, gently, tenderly, not like an animal. Just for a moment, they stood thus, and then he pulled back and looked down at her again.
"You should go."
She was staring up at him, now wanting less than ever before to leave him, but she knew he was right. Time was coming soon, and she stepped back. "Okay." She said, not able to raise her voice above a whisper. She was nodding, and then she turned and walked away, leaving him there, chained to the wall, spread-eagle, in the dark.
She closed the cellar door and put wards on it, set a sound-repealing charm and protective spells, then paused for the moment and rested her head on the door.
Remus.
Remus led the way, feeling the familiar pangs of early pain and of disgust coming on him. Tonks, why did Tonks have to be the one tonight? He led her into the basement and stepped slowly toward the familiar set of restraints Sirius had put out just for him.
He knew she was hesitant, knew all to well that she had never restrained a wer-wolf in chains before. Deliberately avoiding looking at her, he bent to pick up the first leg iron.
A moment later, her robes puddled at the floor as she knelt and took the second one. She wasn't hesitating, she didn't seem reluctant. He felt acutely guilty to have brought her down here, to have to ask her to do this. She shackled his ankle and rose, stepped behind him, and picked up his wrist irons. He felt only more guilty as she reached for his wrist and set the shackle in place, then clanked it closed and locked it. He winced as the rough iron dug into his already-scarred skin. A thousand times had he been chained this way, each month the wounds left by the chains reopening as they dug into his wrists anew.
And then she stopped, on some trivial thing. Remus with all of his sane mind dreaded having her down here, dreaded her tripping on one of the dangling restraints, falling, and passing out within his reach. Dreaded what she had to be thinking right now. He knew that any romantic notions she had about lycanthropy would be stripped away as reality struck and she realized that this was a ritual to be gone through each month, each year, each full moon.
But she lingered, her face hidden and her gaze on his hands. She tugged at the cuffs of his shirt for a moment and began to fold them up, above the irons, where they would not be run and ripped. Her fingers were sliding over his skin, just brushing it occasionally, and she was standing close to him. He waited, waited for her to shudder and quickly move on. Waited for the slight, even slight recoil at the meeting of their skin.
She did not recoil. He waited as she dawdled, and she did not draw back, seeming to take her remaining moments here in this dank cellar.
Remus shut his eyes.
"If I could have one thing in a woman, any thing, in any woman, I'd have one that could know who I am, know it all, who could know what it means, and still touch me without...without getting sick, and shuddering! If I could find a woman like that, I'd marry her, and no one else."
James and Sirius looked at each other as Remus gazed into the rippling water. He avoided their silent faces. It went without saying-they all knew that Remus would never find a human woman like that.
Tonks drew away as Remus drew a breath. He looked down at the floor as she stepped back behind him. He heard the clank of a heavy chain and glanced back as she picked it up and came toward him. It was the last one. Slowly, she guided it around his body twice, not saying anything, wrapping it tightly. He knew it was secure when he heard it clank into place in it's ring. She was finished.
"Thank you, Tonks." He said, not really looking at her.
But Tonks did not seem to be satisfied. She stepped back for a moment and eyed him, then stepped forward and placed her hands on the chain around his body. He watched as she wrestled with them to make them more comfortable. When she was done, she paused for a moment, her fingers tucked between the chains and his chest.
"If I could find a woman like that..."
Remus looked down at her, and knew that whatever reserves he had had once were now gone. She had lived up to it, she had fulfilled the impossible dream, despite all her flaws and her mess. He stared down at her as she slowly raised her head to him.
"I suppose that's as well as I can get it." She whispered.
He said nothing, his mouth dry, and gave in to her. He leaned down and kissed her slowly, giving her time to walk away if she wanted to.
She didn't. She kissed him back, her eyes sliding shut for the moment. He could not even touch her, chained as he was. He pulled away after a moment, all too aware of the impending transformation.
"You should go."
She was staring at him, her brown eyes having morphed to purple, and her hair a wavy lilac. She looked incredulous...happy, somehow. Then her eyes flickered downwards, and she lowered her head again.
"Okay." She said, louder than she had spoken before.
She was nodding, and then she turned and walked away, leaving him there, chained to the wall, spread-eagle, in the night. Her robes disappeared through the cellar door and shut it behind her, leaving him looking after her.
Alone.