Rory fic. My 3rd songfic. Please review.
I'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
There were many times he woke up in a strange place not knowing where he was. First, in the hospital when he was 4 in the hospital with no memory of anything before. He'd apparently fallen down the stairs. Later, he found out that his mom and step-dad had pushed him down. Even though he ran away, he still remembered the abuse every time he changed; every time he fought he would remember fighting in street fights to pay for food. He hadn't ran away before because he didn't want to leave his siblings. Mary, his little sister. Erica, his older sister, who was also the reason he tried to get close to Erica. She was a lot like one of the sisters he couldn't save. Chris was his older brother. All of them died by their step-fathers gang. The older siblings excluding Rory had been into gangs, drugs, alchohol, and having no responsibility, even though he took their beatings.
Then again when he woke up in the house the morning after the party. He had been so confused until Jesse told him what happened.
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands (how I feel)
There were many days he never wanted to get out of bed. He was tired of life. With his newest family in White Chapel though, he felt like that less often. They didn't drink, do drugs, abuse, or neglect him. They'd even gotten him a punching bag in the basement.
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
His mother tried to drown him. By that time, his first step-dad had died when Rory pushed him down the stairs after he had pointed a gun at Chris. Chris and Erica were dead. Mary tried to pull their mom off, but then he seizure and accidentally kicked them down the stairs. They both died.
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb
He didn't complain. He didn't say how much he hurt. Who would care? Ethan, Benny, Sarah, and Erica thought he was weird and crazy, when he was just trying to not only fit in, but to also be a whole new person. He acted stupid, but he took college courses online.
I try to hold this Under control
He was always hungry for blood and revenge. He knew only human blood would satisfy his hunger and thought about breaking into the blood bank again, but then the guys would be mad at him. Unlike they thought though, he never bit anyone. He wanted revenge against everyone that had hurt him; all the gangs and step-parents. Except the new ones.
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows
No one knew how much he hurt everyday seeing Mary's eyes looking at him in the form of his own. The only difference, was that his were missing innocence.
Now I'm going through changes, changes
He'd just been changed into a vampire.
God, I feel so frustrated lately
He was frustrated that his nightmares cut off. He knew they weren't dreams, but missing memories.
When I get suffocated, save me
He wanted to be saved from his sorrow. I'm feeling weak and weary walking through this world alone
Now I'm going through changes, changes
No one could understand how lonely it was being him. No one understood. No one cared enough to see what was in front of them, in his eyes.
Everything you say, every word of it, cuts me to the bone
Benny and Ethan saying that no one would ever get him did hurt. Every angry, cruel, and harsh word cut him to the bone, and he knew what that felt like because of his original family.
I've got something to say, but now I've got no where to turn
He had no one to turn to, to listen. His new parents would, but they wouldn't be able to understand how bad he hurt.
It feels like I've been buried underneath all the weight of the world
The world pushed down on him. Pushing him to please everyone, when he didn't want to. It was pushing him to an early grave. No pun intended.
I try to hold this Under control
He tried to keep his anger under control. He knew several hundred ways to kill someone, but never intended to use them again. When he lost his temper, people got hurt.
They can't help me 'Cause no one knows
Maybe he should be an actor.
Now I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
When I get suffocated, save me
He knew no one would. I'm blind and shakin'
Now I'm going through changes, changes
He had been temporarily blind when his second step-dad poured bleach into his eyes. He'd been so starved that he was shaking so hard that you could put a hand on him and get a friction burn.
Bound and breaking
He'd been bound by them and beaten. He was already broken, and was busy repairing himself.
I hope I make it through all these changes
He hoped he'd survive everything.
Now I'm going through changes, changes