Ok, i've been in a field of feels even since McBrideReedusLover ended her story 'Here We Go Again' and damn did she make me cry, OVER & OVER. Damn girl, you know how to bring me down to the floor. :') *weak smile* I can't stop thinking of how she ended the story, so i've decided to do something to try and wear the tension down..or atleast let me forget about it for a while so I don't cry, haha, so I started writing. Holding up on my other stories (writer's block got me in a twitst)...and well, I thought up a story idea while showering (like always) and decided to write it, since the block's not trying to stop me, i'm going to go ahead and so what I can do...hope to let it bring some weight off my shoulders from that sad SAD ending... :( I love ya girl, but that must have took some effort to write, because that was just hardcore...
Well, here we go again..shit, I just reminded myself of that story..-deep breathe- here we go, listening to Imagine Dragons when I wrote some of this aswell, c': *sad smile again..*
"Maybe if I fall asleep, I won't breathe right..." ~ Hear Me, Imagine Dragons
How could she have doubted? It was a certain possibility and she ignored it all just to enjoyed it. One night of happiness, but she needed to worry, needing to worry about it because now it took her, make her worry, it laughed in her face and pitied her stupidity. Slapping her ass with a belt, with Ed by its side, shaking their heads and huffing their foul breathe everywhere in disgust. And she, well little ol' Carol just laid there crying and listening to the things Ed told her, because they we're true. How could she be so dumb? Because she was a burden old whore. Why was she so stupid? Because she is, always will be, stupid bitch..Ed had a rank answer for every question she thought, and they only seemed to make her grow more weak, till shes took weak to go on.
How could she let Sophia into this world with a father like him? Because your so fucked up, you old hag.
How could she trust her parents into this marriage? Because no one else would think a THING about your sorry ass, you be glad I took pity in you bitch!
How did she end up still alive? Because I was merciful to your helpless soul, and decided to spare your life but let you know how much your worthless.
Why can't she just die!? Because you need to suffer bitch. SUFFER.
Can't she just go off and kill herself now? What's the point, nothing to die for, nothing to life for. I'm in hell anyways, i'll see you.
Sophia is waiting for her, she can be with her, right? FUCK, no. She don't give a shit about her dumbass mother. who would?
"Carol? You alright?"
Carol looked up to see a worried Beth staring down on her. Last night she had something unforgettable and unbelievable, and she doubted that most important thing to it. And now, in the morning, she knew she should have gave it thought, because here she was with the problem she didn't need during a fucking apocoylpse, she was a burden and didn't need to worry anyone. But this would. Ed was right, she was sitting here, thinking about killing herself when Lori came in. And right then, a better idea came in mine. Why not let the little one live? Why not just run away?
Why not let the little one live? The fuck ya mean..little one...fuck, what!?
Why not just run away? No one needs ya run away, it will do you no good but neither will staying...guess there no winning. loss loss.
Carol let out a deep sigh, she would do it then, run away. She didn't want to worry anyone with the burden she was. She would leave, for everyone, for the little one, for Daryl, but also for her.
Daryl, how did this happen? How did this even happen..But this time Ed's voice didn't answer her question, ignored her. But she didn't care, she didn't want it answered, it happened, but for a reason not.
The Governor was gone and the prison was theres. They fought off the murderer and here they we're, at home. Carol smiled as everyone celebrated with alcohol and squirrel caught by Daryl. Carol decided not to drink, someone needed to take watch. But Beth, Hershal, Carl and Michonne didn't drink either.
Everyone was laughing, having a great time, telling stories and jokes and drinking contests. Daryl was eyeing Carol most the time, drinking Southern and shotting jokes around that cracked everyone up,
"..And I bet Martinez is the Governor's bitch now, damn man, kinda feel bad for the bad shot" Glenn slurred, downing another shot.
Daryl chuckled a storm, "Gonna leave Stumpet out, then he gonna get pissed and start somethin'" Glenn grinned, "Cat fight"
And the whole room lifted into happy drunk spirits and laughter and good days. Everyone was happy and Michonne was even laughing at the jokes as they played. Carol smiled, looking at her family.
The night rolled by fast and Maggie and Glenn helped eachother stuggle to their cells, as Daryl would call it, Shit-faced. Rick stumbled to his cell, Carl supporting him. Michonne and Hershal got watch. Everyone headed off to bed, Carol was just changing into her night clothes when she heard boots come to her cell, the curtain was pulled over, so she had enough time to finish changing as a drunk Daryl walked in, he wasn't stumbling much because he didn't drink a lot. He stared at her with those striking blue eyes of his that reminded her of the ocean, but something shown in them that she never seen before and her eyes widdened when she realised what they we're..Lust and want. She sat down on her bunk, only in bed shorts and a tank-top with no bra that showed her hard peaks against the fabric.
Daryl got closer, "Fuckin' wearin' nothing" He was hardly a slur, but still drunk enough in her eyes.
"Your drunk, get to bed" Carol looked at him sternly. Once the woodbury folk got her, Daryl had to move in with Carol but didn't complain, him taking top bunk and her bottem. He looked her up and down and didn't move, he had closed the curtain away for privacy.
"Shit Carol, I ain't drunk" He stared at her intently. Carol shivered,
"Then go to bed" She ordered, pointing to the top bunk, his eyes followed her finger as he toed off his boots, taking his vest off and throwing his shirt over her head. She saw him bare chest before, every night he would come in and do the same thing he did tonight, but he would think she was asleep when she would be secretly watching him. But tonight, he was showing her his bare chest without question, right in front of her and she gulped and he moved towards her, in seconds he was in her face kissing her and she returned the kiss. Before they knew it, clothes we're thrown off till they we're completely naked and they we're a sweaty mess on the bottem bunk as they night was filled with noises of love.
In the morning, Carol woke to see Daryl getting dressed, he turned to her and sighed, seeing her awake. He stood up when he was all geared up and stared at her, throwing his crossbow over his shoulder, "Carol, I care 'bout ya..but this..can't happen 'gain"
She slowly nodded, fighting back tears, she knew it was a one time thing, he was drunk, this was his rejection to her, and it hurt, "ok. We'll never speak of it, it never happened. Sorry Daryl" She stood up and got dressed fast and left the cell, her head bowed. Daryl walked her go in shock and then headed off to hunt.
'Carol, I care 'bout ya..but this..can't happen 'gain'
The words had stung her, hard. Right down to the bone, as her heart broke some, a crunk being ripped out. She got regetted that morning, just this morning and right after he left to hunt she ran to the bathroom.
And now she sat here, in the bathroom, curled up in a ball, holding the white stick in her hand, her hands shaking as she head, tears stained her cheeks. Two pink lines, she was pregnant. She was pregnant with Daryl Dixon's baby. She threw up into the toilet, all the contents of her stomach came out, when she was done she flushed and gathered herself, gripping the test and just thinking. That's when Beth walked in,
"Carol? You Alright?"
The girl had heard last night, she slept in the cell next to theirs, she knew and she knew right that morning when Carol ran off in the direction to the showers what she was doing, she knew exactly. She had followed the small woman and from outside the door she could hear her sob and then throw up, once she heard the flush and the soft weeps, she opened the door and looked at her friend before her, frowning and asking her.
Carol looked up at her, and gripped the test harder..it was a wonder it didn't break. She wiped her cheek and let a sigh loose. She was going to tell the young girl, she was going to tell her friend, right now. She knew, she had to have heard the sounds, she just know what happened last night..the mistake. Carol started to cry but held it back as nasuea took her again she was doubled over in the toilet, acid being let out into the toilet. She flushed once again, letting her attention turn back to the worried blonde who had her arms crossed and her hips locked, staring at her with worry, Carol nodded.
"Carol, you can tell me, what is it? I won't tell anyone, please." Beth looked at Carol with hopeful eyes, she knew the case but wanted to know for sure if she was right, Carol took in a deep breath and closed her eyes. Letting out the breath, she opened her eyes. The first thing she thought when she opened her eyes was the rant Daryl told her back at the farm about Sophia about almost a year ago, and Sophia's favorite sone, Hear Me, and she suddently realised how the two things fit together,
maybe if I fall asleep,
I won't breathe right...
"Your afraid. Your afraid because your all alone, got no husband, no daughter."
maybe if I leave tonight,
I won't come back...
"You don't know what to do with yourself. You ain't my problem, Sophia wasn't mine!"
can nobody hear me?
I got a lot thats on my mind
"Why couldn't you just keep a eye on her!?"
I cannot breathe,
can you hear it, too?
Carol shivered, as his words cut her through once more, even though that was a year ago and their friendship grew, the words still stung and clinged to her, she sighed and looked into the young girl's eyes,
"I'm pregnant."
A/N:: Oh my, I can't believe i'm writing this...it makes me feel ok...but the depression is still hot in the air and its gonna stay... :(
What's funny, is I like wrote now the whole conversation with Daryl and Carol the night he yelled at her about Sophia. From the beginning when she walks into his came to the end where she walks away. ;P
Anyways, READ & REVIEW. ;D Thank you, and big hugs, Paws