Yet Another White Day Fic
A/N: Ah, White Day--one of the most trendy FMA romantic situations. This obviously takes place on White Day. For those who don't know what it is, it's a Japanese holiday connected to Valentine's Day. If someone gives you a present on Valentine's, you have to give him or her something on March 14th--White Day. Enjoy Ed's panic!
Edward Elric was in a great mood. Not because it was Valentine's Day (the sight of love-struck couples giving each other overly wrapped gifts made him gag), not because Mustang hadn't ordered him on a mission (because he was too busy opening gifts from his fans), but this: Someone had given him a present.
And it wasn't the usual candy or flowers. They'd given him a book on the Philosopher's Stone. A really rare one, too--only fifty copies had ever existed, and at least a third were damaged or falling apart. The one he'd gotten was not only legible; it was almost new.
He'd finished the book in three hours.
In Ed's mind, only three things surpassed such a gift. One: Restoring Al's body at last. Two: Socking that bastard Colonel in the face without getting sent to jail. Three: Winry willingly not hitting him with a wrench for the duration of his and Al's stay.
A month later at nine AM, as he walked through the aisles of a store, he wracked his brains for a gift that matched or preferably surpassed that ultra-rare book--which still fit within his budget. Someone who knew the value of that would likely appreciate another book. Or maybe something expensive, since buying it must have set them back quite a bit...
No, Ed thought desperately as the not-so-various choices went through his head. They know me enough to realize how much that book would--
Wait. Who was he talking about?
"OH MY GOD!" Ed shrieked, startling the other customers. "I don't even KNOW who gave me that book!"
"Sounds like you've got a secret admirer, dear," remarked a redheaded young woman as he tore out of the store to his dorm.
"Hughes? No," Ed shuddered. "He's married with a kid, not to mention he's at least ten years older... Al? No, he's terrible at keeping secrets. And ugh! ...Sheska? I don't even see her anymore. ...Hawkeye?" He paused and then flinched as if hearing a gun. "No way. Winry?" He thought a moment, then said sarcastically, "Oh yeah, my wrench-throwing mechanic best friend would send me a book on the Philosopher's Stone."
"Brother, are you talking to someone?" Al asked, making the older Elric jump.
"No," Ed said. "I mean--someone gave me a Valentine's gift. I found it on my bed and I'm looking for something to give them back for White Day and I..." He blushed.
"What's wrong?" Al asked. "Can't you find anything?"
"Idon'tknowwhosentit," Ed mumbled.
"Huh?" If armor could look puzzled, and slightly concerned, Al would have just that expression.
"I don't know who sent it!" Ed repeated. "There's nothing here--just a note that says 'Go to the park on White Day!'" He groaned and clutched his head, as his brain started aching from so much thinking.
"So go to the park. Maybe you can find out who it is."
Ed stopped mid-meltdown as the realization dawned on him. "You're right. All I have to do is get a present, show up at the park, and wait for whoever gave it to come! You're a lifesaver, Al!" With that he dashed out of the dorm and back to the store.
He and Al arrived at the park fifteen minutes later with a random item in hand--rather than waste time looking for something, as Al suggested, his plan upon meeting the person was to say "I was so busy looking for a present, I lost track of time and the shopkeeper made me pick something." They'd be convinced, right?
To his dismay, there was yet another obstacle in finding the mystery person--everyone was there. Even Hawkeye, and he was sure if someone had tried to give her something for Valentine's Day she'd have shot it. Or the unfortunate idiot who'd tried to give it.
"Edward!" She exclaimed upon catching sight of the nearly hyperventilating teen. Black Hayate yipped and followed his owner as Hawkeye continued, "Nice day, isn't it?"
"W-w-why... is everyone... at the park?" He stammered out.
"You haven't heard?" Hawkeye asked. "There's a contest at headquarters; whoever makes the best couple by noon gets a prize. Although, since Havoc insisted on keeping it secret, none of us knows what it is."
"AAAAGGHH!" Ed howled, making the First Lieutenant start. "How am I supposed to find out who it is NOW!"
"Hey Boss, what's wrong?" Havoc asked.
"Someone gave me a present for Valentine's Day," Ed said. "How the hell am I supposed to give something back if I have no idea who I'm giving it to! Move it, mutt!" Ed snarled as Black Hayate nudged his leg in hopes of getting petted.
"Edward," Hawkeye chided as Al took the pup away from potential harm; Ed was now pacing, and he wasn't being careful about it. "I'm sure whoever it is will come once you stop panicking. How do you know if they even want something back?"
"Anyone who gives something on Valentine's Day always wants something back on White Day!" Ed said, nearly flattening the wrapped gift. "It's how the world works! Equivalent exchange! That's not just a saying!"
"Edward, not everyone who knows you is an alchemist," Hawkeye told him.
"Oh yeah? What about Tucker? And Psiren? And Armstrong? And Al? And that bastard Mustang--"
"Ed, there's the Colonel right now," Al said loudly, pointing. Sure enough, that bastard Colonel was coming. And he's smirking, Ed thought, gritting his teeth.
Actually Mustang was just smiling pleasantly as he carried a box of chocolate, but Ed was too incensed to notice. "Why hello, Fullmetal; you heard of the contest too? But I don't recall seeing you at headquarters--"
"Are you calling me SHORT!" Ed bellowed, making Mustang raise an eyebrow. "I'm having enough trouble trying to find out who gave me that text on the Stone, and now YOU come and try to ruin my life!"
"Someone gave you a Valentine's Day gift?" Mustang mused. "Thoughtful of them. You have a very good acquaintance, Fullmetal."
"If I knew who it was I think I'd actually agree with you," Ed muttered.
"Would you now?" Mustang said in an equally soft tone.
The other three were puzzled at the sudden change in volume. As if to break the tentative silence, Black Hayate jumped out of Hawkeye's arms and barked for Mustang's attention. He turned with a grin as he scooped the dog up and began scratching his ears.
"Who's a good dog, eh?" He asked, sounding almost like Hughes. "I bet lots of people tried to give your mommy a present. Has she shot anyone yet? Really, tell me. I want to know who's out of the running."
Black Hayate only woofed cutely in answer. Ed grunted and turned his back, crossing his arms as the Colonel continued talking in Hughes' tone. Speaking of Hughes...
"Ed!" The officer called. "I have something to show you!" Hughes said in a singsong voice, holding up a photo album as Gracia and Elicia followed.
"Hi, Uncle Roy! Hi Auntie Hawkeye!" Elicia said happily, waving.
"What, Hughes?"
"Elicia got PRESENTS!" Hughes said joyfully. "I just HAD to help her get them gifts for White Day, and she was so happy! Can't blame them though, Elicia IS the most beautiful thing I've ever seen--aside from Gracia of course..."
When he started on the pictures everyone but Hawkeye, Gracia, and Mustang groaned.
"Hey, you got something too!" Hughes exclaimed, seeing the wrapped gift in his hand. "Who's the lucky girl, Ed?"
Ed stared at the ground, hoping to the God he didn't believe in that he wasn't blushing. "Idon'tknow."
"Ida...? Ed, I'm not sure I heard you right."
"I--don't--know," Ed forced the words out, bracing himself for an insult from Mustang. "Fullmetal, you can't even get a PRESENT without having to find out who it is? My girlfriend was BEAMING when she gave me mine, and--"
"You'll find out who that person is at noon."
"Huh?" He asked. Why did Mustang's insult turn into something... nice? Was his brain screwed from all the thinking he'd done?
"I said, you'll find out who that person is soon," Mustang told him. He checked his watch. "Specifically, in an hour and a half. Go find someone else to pet you, pup," he told Black Hayate, putting him down.
"Black Hayate!" Elicia squealed, running over to smother the dog in a hug.
"Elicia honey, try not to squeeze him too hard--Black Hayate's not like your teddy bear," Hughes said. "Bite her and you'll pay," he warned the pup.
"How do you know, Mustang?" Ed demanded. Mustang feigned innocence as he brushed off his sleeves.
"Know what? I'm just being nice for the sake of White Day," Mustang said casually.
"You've got something up your sleeve, don't you?" Ed asked suspiciously.
"Honestly Fullmetal, even when you get a gift from me you're suspicious--"
"WHAT!" Ed shrieked, making Black Hayate whine in fright. The shout echoed for a good thirty yards, making everyone in the park look in his direction. "You--you... you gave me that?"
"The shipment arrived after three weeks and I happened to get it at 11:00 PM on February 13th. I couldn't give it to you while you were sleeping, you need that to grow properly--"
"So why'd you tell me to go to the park? With Havoc's contest on who makes the best COUPLE!" Ed's voice raised every few words. "And STOP CALLING ME SHORT!"
"Havoc insisted that everyone come, especially me. As I found no way out of it, I told you namelessly," Roy said, subtly taking a step backward. "You obviously don't recognize my writing, seeing as you hardly bother to do your own paperwork."
"So I was set up?" Ed asked, eyes widening.
"Actually Boss, we didn't find out until right now," Havoc said. "All the Colonel said was that he got some package or other early. Then he went to the dorms."
"I got my automail checked three days before Valentine's Day," Ed gasped, horrified. "Why does this happen to me!"
"Brother, calm down," Al said. "The Colonel was just trying to be nice--"
"In five seconds, I'll wake up and this will have all been a horrible dream," Ed was pacing again. "Five... four..." he screwed his eyes shut, still pacing.
"Fullmetal, you're being absurd," Roy told him. "One gift from someone with the same gender and you're going crazy. Close-minded, aren't you?"
"It's not that! It's that it was from you! We're supposed to hate each other!"
"You're my best friend's son. How could I hate you?"
"NOOOO!" Ed screamed in distress. "This is not HAPPENING!" Searching for an escape, he fled in the direction with the fewest people, despite Al calling after him.
Al, Hawkeye, and Havoc looked over at the Colonel, who stared after Ed guiltily.
"Um, Colonel?" Al asked. "Sorry that Ed ran away; he doesn't handle things well, and I know you didn't mean to give that to him on Valentine's Day..."
"No, Alphonse," Mustang said heavily. "I'm the one who should apologize. I'll find him."
"Daddy, why's Ed mad at Uncle Roy?" Elicia asked Hughes.
"Don't worry sweetie, Uncle Roy's going to make everything better," Hughes answered. "Roy, apologize to Ed as soon as you find him," he said in an undertone.
"Okay," Elicia said, contented with Hughes' explanation. She returned to playing with Black Hayate as Roy strode off in the direction Ed had gone.
-------
Ed stared into the trees with the air of a typical brooding teen. That bastard Colonel was probably laughing his head off; there was no way everything could have been a coincidence. Getting the book at '11:00 PM on February 13th'? And throwing in that joke about his height--the gall of that man! He clenched his fists, enraged as he started pacing yet again. It was then he remembered that he hadn't even let go of the White Day present.
He switched the gift from his real hand to his metal one, intending to crush it (although he noticed that the package seemed heavy for its size).
"Why destroy my gift before I even see it?"
"Gah!" Ed jumped, bumping into Mustang and giving him a chance to take the gift from him.
"I'm sorry, Fullmetal," Roy said.
For one second, Ed saw nothing but black. Then he slowly turned to face the Colonel, who waited.
After a silence, in which Ed was actually shaking--from rage or another emotion--he stunned both himself and Roy by closing the gap between them and crushing the other alchemist in a hug.
"You're driving me insane," he said, his voice catching on the last syllable.
"The same to you, Fullmetal," Roy said, wrapping his arms around the teen as he felt wetness seep through the shoulder of his uniform.
"You're the best couple I've seen so far." Havoc said, startling them into springing apart.
"WHAT!" Ed shrieked. "What do you mean!"
"The others don't hold a candle to you," Havoc explained. "You're the most famous alchemists in Central AND you used to hate each other; work might actually be exciting."
"Who says we USED to hate each other?" Ed asked, scowling.
"Oh come on--'We're supposed to hate each other'?" Havoc explained. "You too, sir--'How could I hate you?'" He continued. "You even made up--"
Roy held the enraged Fullmetal back as he tried to strangle the Second Lieutenant.
"And you're even holding him back!" Roy fought the urge to pull on his glove and snap at the annoying Havoc.
"So what's the prize?" Hughes asked.
"Promise not to get anyone else involved in your fights," Havoc told them. "I thought about making you two call a truce for the rest of March, but since you're together now--"
"SHUT UP!" Ed raged, struggling against the hold on his coat.
"Don't I get a say in this?" Roy asked. Everyone (by now Hawkeye and Al had showed up) looked at him. He fought to keep the smirk off his face as he continued, "I didn't get to open my White Day present."
"I didn't want to be late, so I just grabbed something--"
"Yes, I'm sure." Pulling on his glove, Roy held the package up and rubbed his thumb and index finger together. About half the wrapping was burned off; he simply gave a tug to the remaining half, revealing the gift to be a book titled Skirts Without the Hassle: 5th Edition.
Hawkeye raised an eyebrow.
"What a coincidence," Roy drawled. "I've been meaning to buy something like this." He chanced a look at Ed, whose expression was rather blank. "Thank you, Edward."
Holy shit, I got him something he LIKES, Ed thought.
"Ed didn't even look before he bought you something and you still like it," Havoc remarked. "You two really are the perfect couple."
-Owari-