This is a continuation of my previous one, Who are you? It could be considered a follow up, but from Conan's perspective. I'm going to add in some of my personal opinion on this from my portfolio.
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"Who are you?" That was a question he was asked often. His answer was always, "Edogawa Conan, tantei-san." What did that mean?
That morning Conan had been walking through the police department after a case when he heard to officers mention his name.
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*flashback*
"So what do you think of him?" One officer said, Conan looked up in curiosity at the conversation that the two were trying-and failing- to be discreet about.
"Him?"
"Edogawa Conan, the kid that the higher ups were talking about. You're in the first division, you said you met him on a case a while ago right?" Hearing his name had instantly gotten Conan's full attention.
"One case a little while ago? I've met him at like five just this month. It's like a murder can't happen without him being there. I'm almost wanting to believe that Gunma inspector's theory that the kid is cursed, the amount of cases he's at is unreal."
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Who am I? Edogawa Conan or Kudo Shinichi? He supposed he might just be overreacting, they were the same person in the end. To Hattori Heiji, they were the same. Kudo Shinichi was just as much Hattori's friend as he was when he was Edogawa Conan. But they had not met until after Shinichi became Conan. Would they still be friends if the one Hattori had met had been the egotistic soccer otaku that he had been as Shinichi. Probably, but the question still lingered in the back of his mind. Then there were people who he was completely different for.
Ran Mouri. To Shinichi she was his goddess, his angel, the girl who would always do the right thing and who he had to protect no matter what. As Edogawa Conan he did still protect her, sure. She still meant the world to him. But she treated him as a sibling, to Edogawa Conan she was just as much a mother figure as a friend. Kudo Shinichi would never lie to her, Edogawa Conan was probably the biggest lie she had ever been told.
Kudo Shinichi was famous, popular, but did not have many friends. Sure, he had admirers, people like Sonoko and Ran to be with, but not many actual friends. Edogawa Conan had no admirers, as far as the general public was concerned Edogawa Conan was a perfectly normal 1st grader who just had a habit of getting involved in crimes. He had the other detective boys as friends, he had Haibara as someone who understood him though being in a situation with him that no one else ever had. He only knew those people as Edogawa Conan.
His parents were still the same around him no matter what. They gave the Mouri's money to take care of him, but he had never spent that much time with them in the first place. Honestly, sometimes he felt like he had more of a family with the Mouri's than he did in his big, empty house. Did that mean that he was better off staying as a kid. As Edogawa Conan he had friends and a close family. But as Kudo Shinichi he had Ran, who had been waiting for him and had the police who had been able to trust him no matter what.
He supposed that this feeling could just be a side effect of live two different lives at the same time, but was he just pointlessly desperately clinging on to the life he had as a 16 year old. It would be safer for everyone if they thought Kudo Shinichi was dead, but would he really be able to give up his old life?
"Who, just who are you?" Takagi had asked him that once. He was someone who knew the real him more than almost everyone.
He responded with "Sure, if you want to know I'll tell you. On the other side." He had not really thought about that response when he said it. It was a secret he would keep until death, but who was he living as now? Who would have to be the one to die so that it would be fine for the secret to be revealed. Kudo Shinichi and Edogawa Conan could not exist in the same place forever. Sooner or later one of them was going to have to die. Which life was he not willing to lose. The child with the mind of an adult, or the adult with hopes of a child? His life where he was an unparalleled respected detective who mostly cared about his reputation and the hopes of eventually living a happy life with his girlfriend, or the kid surrounded by friends and allies that fought in a futile attempt to save everyone, but knew that he couldn't.
Who are you?
Who am I? Not a protector or a god, I can be hurt and killed. I have people I care about but can't save everyone. I'm smart but make mistakes, I'm imperfect but don't know my limits. I'm not entirely Kudo Shinichi or Edogawa Conan anymore.
Who am I? I'm just a human.
