Hey all! Sorry I've been making so many oneshots lately -insert anime sweatdrop- please don't be mad! I've had a serious case of writer's block for ALL of my stories lately and I think oneshots are the best way to get those creative juices flowing! So yup enjoy this one and I PROMISE I will be getting at least the next chapter for Crimson Eyes out as soon as tomorrow. :) -Astridelta
Warm sunshine poured into Naruto Uzumaki's open bedroom window as he slowly came to consciousness, yawning and blinking his eyes open to find himself splayed eagle-style on his stomach across his mattress, clutching his pillow under him, which had a decent sized drool stain forming under his mouth. Yawning again and sitting up, Naruto scratched behind his ear and slipped his feet into the orange slippers that no-one knew he even owned.
Grinning, the blonde stood and bent down to touch his toes, thinking that today was going to be an excellent day. Yes, the sun was shining, Naruto could hear birds in the distance, and he could have sworn he could also hear Sakura's voice just under his window. Not to mention, he had been able to find some spare discount tickets to Ichiraku The night before.
So if his suspicions were correct, the young Genin would have to get ready quick if he wanted to meet up with his pink haired teammate. Rushing over his very...very...very messy floor and almost tripping four times over discarded ramen cups, magazines, and who knows what else was littering the originally polished floorboards, to his kitchen. The blonde made a mental note, that he would most likely forget later, to start cleaning his apartment while he began to open the white cupboards above his sink and searching for a not-empty box of cereal, to no avail.
He did, however, find a cup of ramen he had somehow not opened already. "Come to papa!" Naruto exclaimed happily and swiftly shoved the paper container into his microwave, cooking it almost to the point where the food would have exploded had he left it in a second too long, and then settled to digging through his drawers in search of chopsticks. Finding two separate ones, Naruto proceeded to carry his "breakfast" to his kitchen table and dragged a chair out through the mess that littered the floor and plopped down, taking the cover off of the steaming Miso ramen and almost groaning from the intoxicating smell.
Well, to Naruto it was intoxicating, anyway.
As he slurped happily, the blonde stared at the wall opposite of him and saw something circled on the calendar he had nailed into the wall, mainly there to remind him of training sessions or missions Kakashi had set up at the last possible moment. Most often the day before said sessions or missions. But even Naruto couldn't remember there being anything for at least the next week, and it seemed that the square he had marked was today...
But he wasn't going to let the news bother him, nope! He was Naruto Uzumaki, Konoha's happiest ninja, and today was his lucky day! Smiling and getting up from his table, not even bothering to throw the cup away- telling himself he would get to it later- Naruto practically skipped (and tripped) over to his dresser and pulled out a clean pair of orange boxers along with his orange pants and a black tee shirt with an orange swirl on the front, donning each clothing in turn and flattening his naturally spiky blonde hair as he stared at his reflection in the mirror above his dresser, to no avail.
Still not gonna get down by that, Naruto thought smugly and made his way to the calendar to see what it was that he had planned for today...and he could have sworn the temperature in the room got at least twenty degrees cooler. There, circled in pink marker, was the date July Twenty-Third. And written under that, in loopy writing that was undoubtfully Sakura's (Naruto's was more chicken-scratchy, plus he didn't own a pink marker), were three words that made Naruto want to cringe and hide.
"Sasuke-kun's birthday!"...surrounded by flowers and hearts.
Naruto gaped at the calendar for a moment, jaw hanging and eyes almost bugging out of his skull as he tried, well and truly tried (pinching himself, slamming his head on the wall, etc...), to wake up from this dream-turned-nightmare. "No, no no no..." The blonde groaned, just as someone knocked on his apartment door. Naruto desperately wanted to find the Grim Reaper standing on his doorstep. But as he pulled it open, he instead found Ino and Sakura both standing in front of him with equally evil smiles plastered to their lips.
"Hello Naruto," Ino said shrilly, and Naruto was able to notice that Sakura was holding a suspicious black bag behind her back. Perhaps it was a body bag for when the two were done murdering him. He hoped that was the case, anyway. "Uh...hey, Ino...Sakura-chan," Naruto said nervously and closed his door ever so slightly. "What're you guys doing here...?" Sakura shrugged and stepped closer, putting her hand around the door and keeping it wide open.
Please, please do not make me go to Sasuke-teme's house...please...
"Sasuke-kun wants us to do him a favor," said Sakura sweetly, so sweet to the point it made even Naruto want to run and never, ever come back. "I am NOT going shopping with you for-!" Naruto cut off as what Sakura said registered with him and his achingly slow brain. "Wait, what sort of favor?" He asked suspiciously. Maybe Sasuke wanted the girls to cut off his head and give it to him on a silver platter. Considering the level of devotion they had for the guy, Naruto somehow found the uncomfortable thought not that hard to believe.
"Well...Sasuke-kun didn't like the presents we already got him," Ino said and flung her ponytail behind her shoulder. "And we said that we'd do anything to make it up for him," Sakura continued. And with that sentence that was sure to doom Naruto to an eternity of pain, the girls barged into his apartment building and proceeded to pin him to a wall. "No, hey...wait! Sakura-chan!" Naruto screeched as Ino took the black bag from Sakura and unzipped it. But instead of stuffing Naruto inside of it, as the blonde had originally thought, Ino pulled something out instead.
Naruto decided to look at the thing in Ino's hands and instantly regretted the decision.
There, hanging on a wire hanger, was a dress. But not just any kind of dress. The clothing seemed to be tight fitting, sleeveless with apparently elbow length, fish-net gloves and matching stockings. The dress itself was orange, the collar cut into a low "V" with white lace surrounding it, and a blue strip of silk tied around the waist and more white lace at the hem of the thin skirt.
Look on the bright side Naruto, the blonde reminded himself. Sakura-chan is holding me, but against a wall. Ino isn't trying to kill me, but she is holding a dress. And neither of them are gonna wear it...WAIT A SECOND!
"What the hell Sakura-chan?" Naruto yelled as Ino began to approach the two with the "Dress of Doom," as Naruto had dubbed it, in hand. Ino nodded in Naruto's direction. "We'll have to get him in this," she noted and sighed. Sakura grinned. "No problem," she replied and proceeded to strip Naruto down to his boxers. The blonde blushed and tried to claw away from the insane girls, but Sakura soon grabbed his bare arms as Ino shoved the orange dress over his head.
Wordless shouts of protest came from the blonde's lips as all he could see was orange, and then his head come through the collar gasping for air while Sakura tugged the skirt of the dress down to hide his blue boxers with the frog that was on his ass and slipped on the gloves, along with the stockings on his legs. Then, both girls stepped back and, at the same time, began to tap their index fingers against their chins as they inspected the almost red blonde that was backed against the wall, watching them furiously and in embarassment.
"Sasuke-kun did ask for the gloves, right?" Ino murmured to Sakura, and Naruto's mind went almost completely numb. "What?! Sasuke wanted me to look like this?!" Naruto nearly screamed out and tried to rip the ridiculous clothing off himself. Sakura easily spun him around and pinned his arms behind his back, pressing the side of his face into the wall. "I think so," Sakura replied.
"You two are insane! Why would you do this to me!?" Naruto whined, but again his question went unanswered as Sakura seemed to fix something on his back. "I'm surprised he actually had this with him though," Ino giggled. Naruto's eyebrows shot up to his hairline. Why would Sasuke be owning an orange dress, anyway?! "Oi, Sakura-chan, lemme go," Naruto begged and tried to wrench his arms from Sakura's iron fists. Needless to say, he was unsuccessful.
"I guess he's not gonna come with us quietly.." Sakura murmured, and the last thing Naruto saw was the black bag Ino had being shoved over his head. Then he felt his body being lifted onto two different shoulders. Yelling (in reality, screaming), Naruto tried to punch and kick his way out of the bag, but it was so small inside of it, he could barely wrench his arms away from his sides. He could hear Ino and Sakura giggling, and Naruto had a nagging suspicion they knew something that they weren't telling him, but even as he continued to beg for freedom, they refused to acknowledge him.
Sunlight filtered dimly through the black fabric Naruto was encased in, and he could hear confused murmuring surrounding himself and the girls as they apparently carried him through the streets of Konoha. Oh..no...if anyone found out he was in this situation-! "Hey, Ino, whatcha got there?" Kiba?! "Kiba!" Naruto shouted and started to squirm again. "Help me outta here man!" "...Naruto?" Kiba asked, and Naruto heard Akamaru bark softly.
"Move Kiba," Sakura ordered by Naruto's left ear, and he suspected his head was resting on her shoulder. "Uh...why is Naruto in a bag," Kiba said suspiciously. "Just move Kiba," Ino said sweetly. "We'll give ya pictures later." Naruto heard Kiba snort and felt something else touch his arm. "Oi, what's going on," Kiba demanded. "Kiba, help me out!" Naruto pleaded and felt the skirt of the dress bunch around his legs as Ino and Sakura seemed to continue to walk.
"Sasuke-kun sure has...strange...cravings," Ino commented as the bustle of crowds seemed to grow quieter. Naruto's heart stopped as he registered what "strange cravings" could mean. "Let me out Sakura-chan," Naruto whined. "Not a chance Naruto," Sakura said in reply. "Sasuke-kun wanted this, so he's gonna get it no matter what." Naruto cringed at Sakura's determined tone. Then he heard the squeaking of a metal gate and the noise of people diminished to almost nothing.
Fear clutched Naruto's heart as he imagined Sasuke laughing his ass off at Naruto's appearance. The image wasn't that easy to conjure since Naruto had never seen Sasuke actually...well, laugh. But the idea was all that was needed to make Naruto wish he had just rolled over dead this morning. He heard knocking on wood then, and without warning the sunlight vanished and he was thrown into darkness again. He started to struggle, wordlessly this time, as he heard three pairs of feet walking on carpet.
"Put him here."
The not-quite-deep voice sent shivers down Naruto's spine as he felt himself lowered onto the floor. "Happy Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked, but Naruto didn't hear a reply. Then two light pairs of feet left whatever room he laid in, and he was left to continue struggling alone until something began to unzip the bag. As soon as the first ray of artificial light broke through the gap created above his face, Naruto took the opportunity to leap up and scramble as far away from the bag as he could until his back met with a wall.
Looking up, the blonde's startled blue gaze met Sasuke Uchiha's...oddly predatory ones as he kneeled over the flattened black bag. Naruto swallowed nervously as Sasuke's gaze flickered over his slim frame. "Well bastard," Naruto said and thought to himself that if he was going to go out, he was going to go out with a bang. "Like what ya see?" The blonde turned and put a hand on his hip. He sure as hell wasn't gonna let Sasuke know he was terrified enough to send him into cardiac arrest.
Oddly, Sasuke seemed to lick his lips in response as he stood, slowly, crossing his arms over his chest. "Actually, yes," the raven said bluntly. Naruto blinked, confused. Sasuke stepped over the black bag and approached Naruto with the movements of a tiger stalking an antelope through the grass. "Well..uh, good," Naruto said dumbly as his taller teammate stopped in front of him, a smirk playing lightly on his lips...which he licked again as he looked at Naruto.
"Ino and Sakura brought me a nice present for once," Sasuke whispered and lightly trailed his fingers up Naruto's arm. The blonde winced. "And what did you bring me, Naruto? Something tasty, I hope..." Naruto's eyes narrowed while Sasuke leaned closer. "What the hell are you playing at bastard," the Genin muttered and felt Sasuke's warm breath brush his cheek softly as the Uchiha chuckled. "You do look good, Naruto..." Sasuke's eyes gleamed. "Good enough to eat."
And then the raven closed the distance between their lips.
Meanwhile, as Sasuke was busy invading Naruto's mouth, Sakura and Ino were both leaning around the doorway and watching the display with wide eyes. "I was right," Sakura whispered as she and Ino high-fived without looking away from the scene. "Sasuke is into Naruto..." Ino smiled while she felt something drip from her nose. "I guess getting him flowers would have been a bad idea," she murmured back while she watched Sasuke rip away the dress that she and Sakura had worked so hard to make.
"Naruto is an idiot," Sakura laughed while she remembered the blatant lie of Sasuke actually owning a dress. Whatever, if it got the two boys together, the girls were willing to drag Naruto through the dirt with nothing but a loincloth on if it satisfied Sasuke. And their secret yaoi wishes. "Happy birthday Sasuke," the girls squealed while Naruto moaned and squirmed under Sasuke.
It most certainly was a very, very happy birthday for a one Sasuke Uchiha.