TITLE: Red Wine and Memories

AUTHOR: Seersha

RATING: K+

PAIRING: Connor/Dawn

SPOILERS: Season 6 of Buffy and season 3 of Angel.

DISTRIBUTION: Please do not archive anywhere. It will be up at FF if you would like to link to it.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own these characters (obviously) and no copyright infringement is intended. No profit is made from this fanfiction.

TIMELINE: AU futurefic set 15 years from the end of season 6 of Buffy and season 3 of Angel.

SUMMARY: Connor and Dawn's 10th wedding anniversary does not go as planned.

NOTE: Originally published May 2002.

.-.-.

Red was definitely the colour of the evening. She wore a stunning red dress, complete with red shoes. She'd had her hair especially done and her nails perfectly painted with red polish. Thorned red roses sat in a vase as a centre-piece on the candle-lit table she sat at. It was the perfect romantic atmosphere. Even classical music could be heard playing softly in the background.

Her husband had always had a great fondness for red, particularly that deep, rich, blood shade of red. Although Dawn didn't really know why, she did suspect that perhaps it was a fascination that was sown deep into Connor's genes, resulting from the fact that both his parents had been vampires. She hadn't ever made mention of her theory to Connor in their ten years of marriage. After all, it would be a little too morbid for her to suggest that he liked red so much because of an untapped bloodlust urge that had not escaped his existence, despite the fact that he was human.

Sighing, Dawn looked out the restaurant window. The stars were out. The moon was glowing. There was no wind in the air, and it seemed as if for once, the Powers That Be had decided to give her a break. Or not, considering she was sitting at the table alone.

It was a special night. One that would be passed and never come again. Ten years ago to this day Dawn had sworn her love, soul and life to the man of her dreams.

So much had changed over the years, and it was now ten years later that Dawn could still remember the shy, innocence with which she first told Connor that she had a "great, big crush" on him and that she didn't "know what to do about it". Connor had taken the information in rather well, then with a sly smile on his lips, had kissed her for the first time. "That's what we do about it," he'd said after he pulled away. Breathless and shocked, she didn't know whether she wanted to slap his grin away or hug him and never let go. Luckily, Dawn thought, she'd done the latter.

Glancing at her watch, she confirmed that her husband was now an hour late for their anniversary date. The one night he'd sworn up and down that he wouldn't be late, and here she was, still alone. Dawn knew it wasn't intentional. It never was, with Connor, and he always showed up eventually, occasionally with a bunch of flowers in his hand telling her how sorry he was. And always with an excuse or story to tell.

Throughout the numerous times she'd experienced this trend, her reactions had varied. Sometimes she'd give him the silent treatment, sometimes she made a scene and yelled her lungs out and sometimes she burst into tears. Sometimes she was dismissive of the late arrival and went on as if nothing had happened. And sometimes she was mad at him for a week. But always she was relieved to see him because it meant that she had her husband by her side for one more day.

Dawn knew when she committed to spending her life with Connor, that their relationship would always be unusual. It was, after all, unusual from the very first time they met. Just like her sister Buffy and his father Angel, Connor had a destiny. A duty and a desire to help people. To save souls and put his life on the line without a second thought, just because that's the kind of heart he had. Of course, Dawn loved him the more for his generosity and goodness, but there were so many times over the years when Dawn wished that they were just a normal couple.

It was laughable, that thought. How many times had Dawn heard Buffy say the exact same thing about her and Angel? And in the end, it hadn't worked. "Love isn't always enough," Buffy had told Dawn after Angel had left for LA. And Buffy had repeated those words to Dawn when Dawn had announced her engagement to Connor.

"Are you sure you can commit to that kind of life, Dawn?" Buffy had asked, with a concerned look on her face.

"I know what I'm getting into. I love him, Buffy. I can't live without him," she'd replied, tearing up at the thought.

"Can you live with the knowledge that every night you'll be sitting at home, wondering if tonight is the night that you'll never see Connor again? Do you have any idea what that's going to be like?"

"Of course I do! I've done that for the past three years! And I know you think that it'll tear me up inside. Maybe you're right, but all I know is that right now, it'll tear me up inside more if I leave him. Just because things didn't work out between you and Angel, does not mean it won't work out for me and Connor," Dawn said, her voice betraying her emotions.

"I know that. But Dawn, I'm your sister and I love you and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Then do me a favour? Instead of going on about this, promise me you'll be the Bride's Maid at our wedding?"

For a moment, Buffy had paused, looking as though she wanted to say more. But then, slowly, she smiled a little and Dawn joined her. "I promise. Just remember that if it all comes crashing down, I'll be there to catch you, okay?"

Remembering that conversation now, Dawn wondered if perhaps, all the heartache and pain she'd felt from the fear of losing Connor was worth it. What would her life had been like if she hadn't married Connor? Would she have fallen in lust with some other "normal" guy and pretended that it was love? Instead of arguing over life endangering situations and Connor being late because of the latest damsel in distress, would she be arguing about bills and in-laws and dirty dishes?

Truthfully, there were moments when she seriously wished things had been different. Moments that usually came just before Connor would walk into the room, confirming that he was indeed, still alive. Then all her fear would melt away and her heart would feel like breaking from the joy at seeing him. And it was the bright moments after those dark moments that Dawn held onto now.

But damnit, he was still late and the night was still too perfect for anything to cloud it. Looking around, Dawn spotted many other couples eating, drinking, talking, laughing and kissing. Glancing at the open menu sitting before her, Dawn was just about ready to get up and leave when she felt a familiar presence beside her.

Then came the familiar, deep voice that still made her insides quiver. "I hope you aren't abandoning me."

Looking up into Connor's amazing eyes, Dawn's throat felt dry for a moment. Then she recovered, remembering how long she'd been waiting and how close she came to leaving. "Funny, I thought you'd abandoned me."

He didn't even flinch at her hardened tone. Connor was used to her anger at times like this. He'd earned it anyway. "I'd never do that. I always show up, don't I?"

"Hmm... right at the end of the show. You miss the performance."

Sighing, Connor moved to take the seat opposite her. "I'm sorry. I know that counts for shit, but I am. I don't want to bore you with the story, because I know you've heard it all before. I just want to enjoy the night and remind my wife how much I love her and tell her again that I could never live without her."

An intense moment passed, when all either could do was stare into the other's eyes. Dawn was sure that Connor had some other power he never mentioned. A power that worked just on her, because whenever she stared into his eyes, Dawn felt like the entire world disappeared and all that was left was them, in their own private universe. On occasions her weakness for her husband was a problem, especially when she was supposed to be angry at him for making her wait all alone for an hour on the night of their ten year wedding anniversary.

Sighing, she looked away from him for a minute. Staring out at the star-lit night once more, she knew that she couldn't let her own emotions ruin this night. It was never going to come again. Meeting Connor's eyes once more, Dawn said, "Then let's pretend that I only just arrived a minute ago and start from there."

Smiling slightly, Connor took in for the first time, the full atmosphere of the evening. Giving his wife an appreciative look, he took her hand and leaned close to her face, "You look beautiful tonight. Red looks gorgeous on you."

Well, at least he still liked red. Blushing like a teenager, Dawn gave him her own appreciative look. He was dressed in a black suit, white shirt but no tie. He hated ties, always told her he could never do them up right. "For a guy who's come straight from battle, you look pretty good yourself."

"I uh, stopped to clean up on the way over," he confessed, feeling a little embarrassed.

Laughing for the first time that evening, Dawn let all her anger float away. Finally, here she was with her husband and that's what mattered. He'd be with her for another night and she'd feel alive for another day.

Glancing away from her, Connor spread the menu open in front of him. "Have you ordered anything yet?"

"Just the wine," Dawn replied, indicating the ice bucket beside their table, an open bottle of red wine sitting in it.

"Shall we propose a toast then, to start the evening off?" he asked, reaching for the bottle.

Nodding, she watched him pour each of them a glass. How was it that even watching him pour drinks could make her shiver? After he'd placed the bottle back down, they each held up their glasses, locking gazes.

"To whatever force it was that brought us together. Be that destiny, fate or the Powers That Be. Even if it was just luck, then I'm glad luck found us, because I can't imagine my life without you in it, Dawn. I didn't know if it was possible to love you more than I did the day I married you, because I already loved you more than anything else in the world. But now I know that it is possible, because I love you even more today than I did back then. I also know that I wouldn't be the same man I am today if it weren't for you. So thank you, for loving me, for letting me love you and for putting up with all my bullshit."

Smiling and laughing softly, Dawn blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall. It still amazed her how different Connor could be a different times. He could threaten murder, torture or death to demons in a tone so deadly that it made her blood run cold, and at other times - like tonight - he could also speak so passionately and genuinely and gently to her, that it seemed impossible that he was capable of anything else.

Watching him smile back, she took her own turn to speak. "Wow, now I have to try and compare to that." Connor laughed quietly. Clearing her throat, Dawn began, "To the future, because I know that we've still got a lot of years ahead of us and when someone asks me how long we've been married, I always want to be able to say, 'Not long enough'. I don't even know if I ever really believed in love before you. Or if I did, I certainly didn't think it was worth much because all I ever saw was people getting hurt. Mom, Buffy, Giles, Xander and Willow... I guess I just didn't understand why people would want to fall in love if they all ended up being alone. But then I woke up one day and I realised that I didn't feel right until you walked in the room and I finally understood love. And even though sometimes I feel like all the waiting and worrying is too much, I still don't feel right until you walk in the room."

Moving her arm, she clinked his glass and then took a sip. He did the same. They sat in silence for a few minutes, sipping their wine.

Connor wanted to say something. He really did, but his throat closed up and his mind blanked. It had been a lengthy and emotional adjustment for him once he'd come back from Quor-Toth all those many years ago. But he could still remember how it felt in that Hell dimension. And there was still a part of him that wasn't used to the weight of the emotions that Dawn made him feel. Some moments, when he literally thought his heart would overload, he wondered if it was real. How could she love him?

He had to admit to himself, he wasn't the best husband to her all the time. Tonight was a prime example of that, and although he'd do almost anything for her, there was one thing he'd always told her he could never do. In times of heated arguments, she'd asked him more than once to just give up the fighting.

"How can you be a hero when you can't even save your own marriage?" Dawn had screamed in one such argument, her face red with anger and tears pouring down her face.

He'd felt as if he'd died in that moment, wondering how it was they'd gotten to that question. When he didn't answer, she'd stormed out of the room - and the house - and spent the whole night away. He wasn't sure where she'd gone, but he suspected she'd gone to Buffy's house. Feeling like his world had ended, he didn't even find the courage to call and ask Buffy if Dawn was in fact there. The next morning, she came back. When they locked eyes, both obviously tired from not sleeping at all, he was shocked at what he'd seen in them. He was so close to losing her that day, so he'd taken her in his arms, told her he loved her and promised her that if she really wanted, he'd never go out fighting again.

"But that's a part of who you are," she'd said quietly against his shirt. "I know sometimes it doesn't seem as if I understand that, but I do. You can't stop being who you are, because if you did, you wouldn't be the man I married."

Dawn's warm hand on his own brought Connor back to the present. Why was he dwelling on the past, tonight of all nights? He met her gentle gaze.

"The ghost of the past already made me take the trip down memory lane. How was yours?"

"A little scary," he confessed. And god, how did she do that? One thing about Dawn, she always seemed to be able to tell what was on his mind, even when he thought he could try and hide it. "But mostly just another reminder as to why I'm the luckiest guy alive."

Deciding to lighten the mood, Dawn said, "Well, then Mr. Lucky, let's stop day dreaming and get with the eating. Play your cards right and you could get even luckier by the end of the night." With that, Dawn wriggled her eyebrows suggestively, her gaze flicking to the side.

Quickly noting what she had looked at, he glanced at another young couple in the corner, making out. Laughing the hardest he had all night, Connor turned back to look at his wife. "So, what should my next move be, then?"

Leaning over, Dawn made her intentions clear and their mouths met in a lingering kiss. "That's a start," she whispered against his lips.

.-.-.

END