Author's note/disclaimer - I do not own any of the FFX characters (although I wish I owned Rikku! ::innocent look::) Yes, I am insane. However, I will attempt a plot. This is an alternate universe fic, somewhat self-insertion. To Tidus lovers: There will be a slight anti-Tidus karma in this fic, but I don't hate him, so it won't be anything that's not in good fun, don't let it stop you from reading this. About reviews: Flame if you must, but I just felt like writing this for no apparent reason other than boredom, so, "Whatever." to flames. Honest, editorials on errors are appreciated. Tell me if you would like to see more. So, without further ado:

Chapter 1 - Confusion in the Calm Lands

I stood on a ledge intently watching the small group of rather different looking people walking below me, at least different in the sense that they didn't look like normal people like the type one saw in Bevelle. I had heard numerous stories about them, and had been following them for a good hour or so. I wanted to see if they were really heretics like the stories told. So far, I hadn't seen anything suspicious, although my impression was that they were just all-around strange. As they walked farther along the expansive green plain of the Calm Lands, I just suddenly had the urge to go talk to them, to see if they were really odd, or just looked the part. So I walked down from where I was and stalked them across to the Al Bhed trading post that jutted out of the plain like a wart on a thumb. They stopped there, I assumed only to rest for a while, and I would have walked up right then, but the supposed heretic, the young summoner, was busy talking to an old man whom the whole party seemed to respect a great deal, so I just stayed hidden for a while longer. When he left, I just moseyed on over to where they all were, and was greeted, rather randomly, by an attractive, blonde Al Bhed girl.

"Hi!" she said as her arm waved frantically. I thought it might fall off. I laughed silently, but I smiled warmly and assumed an air of the same enthusiasm.

"Hello." I said. Not quite the ideal response, but it would have to do for now. It just didn't encompass all I had to say.

"What're you doing around here? Not much to do except watch us, really." she said.

"Well, actually, that's what I have been doing. I wanted to see for myself if you were as heretic as Bevelle clergy makes you all out to be." I said, deciding to come clean.

She gave me an odd look for a moment, but then brightened.

"Well, that's okay! We're not, you know. That's just what those Bevelle meanies say! I don't like them at all!"

"Okay, I believe you." I shrugged. "So, what did you do that makes the clergy say all that stuff?"

I later regretted that I had said that, for I got a long, boring explanation of their quest and events that had occurred that had made the Bevelle clergy oppose them. When it was finally over, we got into real, normal conversation.

"So, what is your name?" asked the summoner, whom I knew was named Yuna.

"My name is Genshi Kanshaku. Call me Trau, though." I said.

"I'm Rikku!" the blonde Al Bhed girl said.

And so they all introduced themselves to me, and we sat around a fire, as it was now dark, and talked the night away. They surprised me. All my notions of psycho, disobeying morons were shattered after a few minutes. I even felt guilty for thinking that they were something as the clergy described.

"Well Trau, can you handle a sword?" the legendary Auron asked me.

"Well, I'm told I'm very good, but I don't know if the famed Auron would agree." I said, a little pretentiously.

"Let's see then. Tidus, give him your sword." Auron commanded.

The blonde boy then handed me his rather neat looking sword, which I thought had to have been made by magic. It was transparent blue, and looked suspiciously like water, only frozen in a very solid state without being ice. I was given no time to ponder, however, as a fiend suddenly attacked, and none of the others budged. I was all alone with only my meager skills. It was a flame flan, and I had difficulty inflicting any significant damage, as the sword, although light and well-balanced, was rather ineffective at piercing tough armor, or the weird ooze that covered the flan. I did, in the end, succeed in killing it with less than the normal trouble. All in all, I was quite unsatisfied with my performance, but to the others it obviously was not as bad as I thought it was. Even Auron looked half impressed, even though he only grunted in brief approval. Tidus, though, only sniffed, and said,

"Yeah, well I could do that."

*What a fruitcake.* I thought. But just as I as about to voice my contempt, Yuna invited me to join her pilgrimage as a guardian. The only one who seemed to disagree was Tidus.

"What? Yuna, how could you ask him? We don't even know if we can trust him!" said Tidus, looking flushed and, well, hurt. I didn't know how I had hurt his pride, but obviously, I had somehow managed. Yuna looked at Tidus and shook her head, and then glanced over at Sir Auron.

"I'm sure if Sir Auron thought it was a bad idea, he would say so. Right, Sir Auron?"

"Hmph." Auron replied as he gave a quick nod of assent.

Tidus, looking defeated, turned to the other guardians for support.

"Hey guys, doesn't anyone else agree with me?" he said frantically.

"Whatever Yuna says, goes, ya?" Wakka said.

"Well, normally I would have to be with you on that one, Tidus, but if Sir Auron thinks it's alright..." Lulu answered..

"I'm glad to have him with us!" cheered Rikku.

"Well than, it's settled." declared a triumphant Yuna.

Tidus opened his mouth several times to say something, but he never quite got what is was off the tip of his tongue, and he finally sat down, sighed heavily, and gave up. I pretended to laugh because I was happy about becoming a guardian, but I was really laughing at Tidus. His little ploy to get rid of me hadn't worked. But then, as we all decided to try and go to sleep, I began to wonder why it was that he had wanted me gone. I didn't know what I did to him, if anything at all. Perhaps it was the fight. Maybe just by taking his sword and being better than him. I guessed that was it. I knew it was the only thing that I had done that could have possibly injured his pride, although if it was that fragile in the first place, he needed it badly. All this thinking made it impossible for me to go to sleep. I left my tent and went outside to sit by the campfire. Rikku was also outside sitting, but this I figured out only after she had startled me by turning around and saying,

"Oh hi! You can't sleep either?"

"Nope. Not a wink. I was thinking too much. When I do that, I can't sleep." I said, after a near heart attack.

"Yeah, I guess I was thinking about some things too, you know?" she said with a strange look on her face that I could not decipher in the poor light. It was just a little cloudy, and the moon was obscured. It still looked beautiful on the Calm Lands as I sat down, and Rikku and I gazed in silence, taking in all there was to see of the Calm Lands. From where we were sitting, the Al Bhed trading post was a little off to the right, and everywhere else I looked was just grass, with an occasional gully or odd, spiky rock interrupting the continuum of green. Rikku and I sat in silence for a few minutes more, and then I decided to ask,

"Is Tidus always like that? I mean, is his pride really that easily hurt?"

"Well, you know, I just think he's used to being the best." she replied.

"But Sir Auron is better at handling a sword. Much better."

"But that's different. I think he kind of looks up to Sir Auron as a father figure, you know, since he hates his real dad so much."

"He hates his own father?" I asked.

"It's a long story. Actually, I don't even know the whole thing, so, I can't really tell it to you." She cocked her head to the side. "Sorry! Of course I'm sure Tidus wouldn't want me to tell you anyway. I don't think he likes you, you know?"

"Yes, I do know, actually. I kind of figured that out before." I said grimly. "Not that it bothers me too much."

"He'll come around!"

I looked at her skeptically, but we both laughed. Rikku yawned and stretched, and we both got up to go back to our tents to go to sleep, but in mine I saw a dark form moving within. Strange noises came from the form inside my tent. I cautiously approached the zippered entrance, and peeked inside. I had to stifle a laugh. There was a flame flan ransacking my possessions, and worse, eating my food! Funny as it was, I had to stop it before I had nothing left to eat. Before I could get my sword, it saw me. The whole tent burst into flames as the flan tried to stop me from reaching my sword, which I had received from the party's arsenal earlier. I had nowhere to hide now, as it was out in the open, and so was I. I had no intention of hiding behind the other tents either, since it would most likely only flame those as well. *That would be wonderful.* I thought. *Join their quest, and then catch them all on fire because I was hiding.* So I just decided to attack it, but only managed to wake up all the others with the noise. Mass chaos ensued as they started complaining and yelling about the flaming heap that was my tent burning on the ground.

"What's going on, ya?" mumbled Wakka sleepily.

"Hey, don't be setting things on...AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" screamed Tidus as Fira was cast on him. He started running around like a chicken with its head cut off. A flaming chicken, that is. He ran off in a random direction to find water, and Yuna pursued, trying to cast a healing spell, and then the others followed, with Rikku bringing up the rear, yelling that there was no water in the Calm Lands to jump into, and for Tidus to hold still. I just sat back, relaxing. As much as one can relax when fighting a flame flan. Fortunately, I had done it earlier, which just made it a bit easier. After finishing my little skirmish, I took off after the rest of the group, who were still chasing after a still-flaming Tidus. I yelled,

"I'm coming! Don't leave me here!"

When I caught up to Rikku, Tidus had managed to roll on the ground and extinguish the flames covering most of his body, but he still seemed to insist on running around wildly and screaming while nearly ripping his now-charred hair out. He yelled out unintelligible strings of syllables and started tripping over rocks. The chase ended when he ran face first into a wall at the Al Bhed trading post.

*THWACK!*

"Owwww..." was the last thing we heard him say before sinking into unconsciousness.