I Am a Slayer

by See Jane Write

Parody of the children's book I Am a Kitten changed to be about Buffy's life.

I am a Slayer

Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all its content are property of Joss Whedon.

Author's Note: It's really random. Parody of the children's book I Am a Kitten by Ole Risom (one of the best ones out there, if I may say so).

I am a Slayer.

My name is Buffy.

I live in an unpleasant town on a Hellmouth.

Every morning when I wake up,

I wonder if my dream was a prophecy.

Then I wash myself and eat my breakfast.

I say weird puns; that means hello, I'm going to stake you.

I like to slay with all kinds of things.

I like to relax and not worry about the fate of the world with my friends and sister.

When I first met Spike, we were mad at each other

Now we are friends and often play together

Sometimes I get to save the world from doom

Sometimes I train with my Watcher

At night I grab a stake and then slay some vampires.