Hey guys…this is the sequel to Not Forever so if you're reading this you might want to go back and read that first. This is one of the two sequels that I'm writing…the other one should be up soon. But you guys can thank Amanda for rushing me to get this one done lol…let me know what you think…
Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi or any of the characters…even though I do wish I owned Mike Lobel…lol j/k…
(Jay's Point of View)
"Jay we have some news on Alex and your daughter…" he looked at me with an emotionless mask that I guess he had to use and I didn't know what to expect…good or bad news… "I'm sorry…we did all we could but Alex started to hemorrhage and lost to much blood. We did all we could but we couldn't save her…but for being born premature your daughter had strong lungs and she should be okay. I'm sorry…" My heart sank to the floor. I didn't know what to do so I got up and ran…she couldn't be gone! I only got so far before I ran out of breath and completely broke down crying. I lost her…I lost the girl I loved. I felt arms around me and noticed Ellie hugged herself to me, she too was crying. What was I going to do? How was I supposed to raise Layla on my own? How was I going to support both of us? I had so many questions but no answers. I couldn't take just sitting there anymore I unwrapped Ellie's arms from around me and ran off again. I went to the park that was by my house. This was where Alex and me would sneak to when we weren't supposed to be out late at night.
"Look how beautiful the stars are Lexxi" I intertwined my fingers with hers and we had laid there just looking up at them. I had planned a nice picnic type thing for when she got there, I was never the romantic type but I had done something really messed up that day and I had to get her to forgive me somehow. She sat up and I pulled myself up, she looked so beautiful, even in the dark.
"Jay you didn't have to go through all this just for me." She could never just say thank you or be happy she got something, she would always say that she didn't need all of that all she needed was me. "But I will admit I do like all of this." I laughed quietly as she reached over and grabbed some of the food off the plate of cookies, brownies, and other random junk food stuff I had bought. "You know me so well don't you Jay?"
"Of course I do Lexxi. That's why I love you." That whole night we laid under the stars and talked. We talked about everything possible, from school to our home lives. She was the first person I told about what it was like at my house and she told me about her life. We talked until it was about 4 in the morning, and the funny part was I never got tired of talking to her. We could have talked about the same thing over and over again but it still would have been interesting to me.
"Why did you have to take her? Why couldn't you have taken me? Alex would have been a better parent to Layla…not me…She was all I had and you couldn't have just let her stayed? You couldn't have let something happen to me…" I was so angry I didn't know what to do. I blamed myself because I had broken up with Emma, I blamed Emma, I blamed everyone…finally I sat down on the swing set and remembered all of the great things that happened between us.
"Jay…You have to go back to the hospital…you need to go see your daughter" I didn't think that Sean would come out to try and find me but here he was telling me to go to my daughter. I just nodded my head and he led me back to the hospital. He told one of the nurses who I was and she brought me back into the NICU and showed me where my daughter was.
"You can hold her if you want." She gave me a sympathetic smile and walked away. I looked down at the little girl in front of me, she was so fragile looking. I lightly placed my hands under her and picked her up, she couldn't have weighed more then 5 pounds.
"Hey Layla, I'm your daddy. I know that you won't be able to get to know your mommy but don't worry I'm going to make sure that I tell you all the things that I know about her. Okay baby? You're so beautiful…you look just like your mommy, you know that? Both of you are possibly the prettiest girls I've ever seen. I never thought it would be possible to love anyone as much as I loved your mommy but I think that I might just love you a little more, but we'll keep that between us." There was no one else in the room besides a man who looked to be in his mid twenties. I wasn't even paying attention until he came up to me.
"You have a beautiful daughter…" he said to me and he looked at Layla and smiled. "Where is your girlfriend at?" I took a deep breath and wiped at my eyes, but to no avail the tears fell anyway.
"She…she died giving birth to our daughter."
"I'm so sorry…" was all he could get out before a lady, who I'm guessing was his wife, called him over to another baby. And I went back to looking at my little girl. She opened her eyes and looked around the room, she had dark eyes…just like Alex.
"Hey I think that you might just be an exact replica of your mom. You've got her gorgeous eyes and her beautiful dark hair. I love you so much already Layla…" I spent the next two hours sitting there with her. I was there until they told me that I should go home and get some rest, which I reluctantly did so. I had to walk home since I had told Ellie and Sean to take it so they could go home. As I was walking I realized that Alex's mom probably had no idea of what happened. So I made my walk over to her house and knocked on the door. Her mom was more than surprised to see me at the door.
"Jay what are you doing here?" she stepped outside so I'm guessing that Chad was home. I swear to god I will kill him if I ever see him again. I still remember how he slapped Alex…
"Alex…. she went into labor today…" I wasn't sure how I was supposed to tell her. Do I just come out and say your daughter is dead? How do I tell her?
"Well we better go and see her and the baby then shouldn't we." She noticed that I wasn't smiling like she was and she knew that something was up. "What happened? Is she okay? Is the baby okay?" I kept trying to say something but nothing would come out. "Jay tell me what happened!"
"The doctors said that she started hemorrhaging and they couldn't stop the bleeding…she died…" I wiped at my cheeks, I was going to try and stay strong for her mom. "The baby's fine though…"
"She's dead?" Patty broke down completely. I didn't know what else to do so I hugged her and we cried together. We had both lost someone that we loved…
"I know that you probably don't like me and all because I'm going to guess that Alex told you all about our break up but I was wondering if you could help me…plan the funeral…" She just nodded her head and after about an hour of us just standing there hugging and letting all of our tears out we were both all cried out.
"Listen Jay you had better go…Chad is going to be home soon and who knows what he'll do if he sees you…meet me at the hospital tomorrow at 11:30 okay?" I quickly nodded and walked away because I know of what the things Chad would do if he ever saw her mom with another guy, even if he knew the guy. I finally got back to my house and walked up to my room. I stayed in there for a little bit of time before leaving…I needed to get my mind off of this.
So what do I do when I want to do that? I drink…I went to the ravine to get wasted. I hadn't been there in a couple of months but it was still the same, the same van, the same cheap beer, and the same sluts going around trying to get bracelets. Once I got down there I realized why I had stopped going in the first place. But I couldn't leave yet…not without getting trashed first. I went over and grabbed a beer before talking to a few friends. A couple of the sluts tried to get me into the van but I blew them off and just drank beer after beer after beer. It helped numb my pain…for a few moments there I even forgot about the day's events but when I remembered it I felt sick to my stomach. I stumbled back to my house and collapsed on my bed. Quickly I fell asleep and had nightmares of the pain that Alex was going through and how it was all my fault…
Blah…blah…blah...now go review…
…Taryn…